The moment has finally come. Ben Affleck just explained why he looked pretty miserable at the Grammys this year while sitting next to wife Jennifer Lopez, and apparently, it wasn’t what it seemed. If a significant other has ever dragged you to their work party, then you have more in common with Affleck than you think. Yes, it was his “wife’s work event” after all, and as per the actor himself, he couldn’t “keep up.” You know what? We get it.

Affleck finally shared why he looked like he was having a bad time at the Grammys

The “Gone Girl” actor sat down with The Hollywood Reporter to share details on his life now, discussing his production company Artists Equity, new movie “Air,” his beloved Wordle group with celebrity pals like Matt Damon (who he “trusts” and “loves”— BFF goals), and his respect and admiration for his wife J.Lo. He adorably mentioned her throughout the interview, saying everything from, “My wife’s a genius at [Instagram]. I don’t know if there’s anybody who understands Instagram better than her,” all the way to talking about how much she supports him.

Affleck shared how J.Lo gave him a pep talk the day of his big interview: “Relax, be yourself. Have fun. You’re actually a fun guy who is real and genuine and you just seem so serious.” The actor described how, “As in many things, she’s really right. And she loves me. She’s looking out for me. She’s trying to help me. So it’s like, maybe I ought to fucking listen to her.” Whether or not this couple is the epitome of opposites attract, Bennifer will always be in our hearts.

Ben Affleck also took the time to discuss his very viral at the moment this year at the Grammys, where fans immediately noticed him looking — bored? Sad? Like he needed about a gallon’s worth of Dunkin’ coffee? Maybe a mix of all three! To add insult to injury, viewers also noticed an especially tense moment between Affleck and J.Lo, which was all caught on camera when Trevor Noah sat next to them. Watch here:

One big part of the explanation? The couple didn’t know the cameras were rolling

Now, we all know relationships have tense moments — and none of us are immune to couple bickering. But of course, because they are Bennifer, we all questioned the moment. J.Lo can be seen scolding Affleck, maybe for looking a bit like he just got out of the life-sucking “machine” in “The Princess Bride,” and the actor does an “I’m fine” gesture and straightens up. So why would they do all of that on camera? Well, as the “Argo” actor finally explained, they didn’t know the cameras were rolling already.

Affleck described, “I saw [Grammy host Trevor Noah approach] and I was like, ‘Oh, God.’ They were framing us in this shot, but I didn’t know they were rolling.” At that point, the actor told his wife, “As soon they start rolling, I’m going to slide away from you and leave you sitting next to Trevor,” which was, you know — probably not what J.Lo wanted to hear one second before being broadcasted to millions of people. So as per Affleck, Lopez replied, “You better fucking not leave.” Oof.

For Ben Affleck, it was just his wife’s “work event”

Still, the moment didn’t faze the actor— as he explains it, it was just “a husband-and-wife thing.” Valid. Plus, he swore he actually had “a good time at the Grammys,” even though it’s not exactly his scene. While he’s used to film awards, which he describes as “speeches and, like, sound-mixing webinars” (LOL), he was actually pumped to go to the Grammys this year: “Well, there’ll be good music. It might be fun.”

And it was, except he found himself often asking who the performers were, because he doesn’t “keep up” all the time. However, his wife J.Lo sure does, “obviously,” which he loves and respects. At the end of the day, the actor explained: “It is your wife’s work event,” and we get it.

There’s another aspect to the whole viral moment that wasn’t so funny, especially considering Affleck’s battles with alcoholism in the past. Many people on social media accused him of being drunk, which he found… “interesting.”

The actor said, “I’ve gone to award shows and been drunk, a bunch. Nobody ever once said I’m drunk. [But at the Grammys] they were like, ‘He’s drunk.'”

He said that experience “raises a whole other thing about whether or not it’s wise to acknowledge addiction because there’s a lot of compassion, but there is still a tremendous stigma, which is often quite inhibiting.”

While Ben Affleck still somewhat wishes he would’ve stayed “anonymous” about his past battles, he still says it feels “so good” to help others going through the same thing. And it seems like his expression at the Grammys was just a product of feeling a bit like a fish out of water… and maybe not knowing who most of the singers were.