Do Latino Men Need to Step Their Game Up? Some Latinas Say the Mamitis and Lack of Romanticism Is Real

Latinas on social media are speaking out against some Latino men they’ve encountered in the dating world— and they’re not holding back. If you’ve dated a Latino man before, you may have received cartas de amor, serenatas, passenger princesa treatment, the works. However, if you didn’t receive these things, then you may agree with many women sounding off on TikTok right now.

The consensus is clear: many Latinas believe Latino men have lost the romanticism of past generations. While we hear stories of our abuelo writing a letter to our abuela every single day to win her over— and maybe even singing “Un Millón de Primaveras” at her doorstep— are today’s Latino men becoming lazy when it comes to courtship? Of course, this may be a problem much larger than our culture, and maybe all men need to step it up. Sips tea.

Ahead, find what Latinas on social media are saying about Latino guys’ lack of romanticism— and the “mamitis” epidemic.

What happened to serenades? Poemas de amor? Or even just some rosas?

mitú spoke to Vietnamese-Mexican content creator Antoinette (@amoneymoves) about her viral TikTok video about Latino men stepping up their romance game.

In the video, the TikToker quips, “Latinos are going to die out if young Latino men do not learn how to court.” She continues, “Do you know how your mama got with your papi? Because he wooed her. Maybe he got her food, maybe he got her flowers. Maybe he sang to her. He offered something.”

“My current partner took me out to lunch every single day for a week straight when he was broke [as f**k] and we were just friends just so I could talk to him,” she stated. “My father, who is the king of the tóxicos, begged my mom to go out to dinner with him every single day, even after she told him she was married with four kids.”

“Neither of them had a lot of money but he still bought her little treats to send home to her kids… Are none of the young men watching ‘Bridgerton’ right now?” You know, asking for a friend!

Similarly, she explained to mitú‘s show “Link in Bio,” “There is a lot of effort and intention that is in our [Latino] culture and I think [Latino men are] capable of.” She added, “I just don’t know why they no longer want to continue that effort.”

As in, if your dad and abuelo wooed their future wives with rosas, guitar-playing serenatas, poems, and maybe even pan dulce— where is this energy in 2024?

And it’s just not Antoinette that is voicing these concerns. As one hilarious X user wrote, “No one is learning Peso Pluma’s ‘Por Las Noches’ on guitar and showing up on a horse at my doorstep to serenade me… Not impressed.” Can we tattoo “Serenatas or Nothing” on ourselves?

As another X user put it, we’re not talking about the “uncomfortable” kind of romanticismo. It’s more about “the gentle, genuine, cariñoso, organic kind” that makes us blush. Where is this and can we get a prescription for it?

And yes, we may also blame our desire for old-time Latino romance on Chente’s music:

Interestingly, not all women have had similar experiences with Latino men. In fact, some assert that Latino guys are still paying tribute to all those romantic gestures their abuelos may have taught them. As in, “poem-like texts as a first message” on dating apps:

Here’s an apparent real-life example of those poem-like texts. Interesting:

And then there’s the whole issue of “mamitis”

On the other hand, some Latinas aren’t so concerned about Latino men’s lack of romantic gestures. Nope, they’re much more concerned with an epidemic they say is sweeping the culture: mamitis.

Content creator and boy mom Melissa Rios spoke to mitú about men with mamitis, describing, “To be honest, I’m a little conflicted. I’m a mom of three [boys]… and I can only hope that they are as attentive, as loving, as caring for me.”

“They say, ‘See the way he treats his mother, and that’s the way he’s going to treat you,'” she said. “But there is a bit of a balance. And I think as a woman, as a mother, it’s going to be up to me to make sure I set those boundaries.”

And about the time she dated someone with mamitis, here are Rios’ words of advice: “You can’t be fighting with la suegra… A lot of the times it becomes a competition.” She added, “You’re never going to take his mom’s place. But also, señora, I’m going to do things to your son that you can’t.” Yes, she went there.

“We’re in two different lanes, and I just don’t take it personal. La señora wants to ride in the front seat, sit down, señora,” she described. “If la señora wants to cook, bring me a plate… Take him, please.”

And when it comes to guys with “full-on” mamitis, it becomes too much when “he cannot make decisions without his mom.” That’s an SOS moment right there.

And yes, just like Rios, there are many people on X sounding off about the mamitis issue. For example, one X user described her holiday family parties, where “men/boys with mamitis [have] women serve them first.” Who can relate?

One Latina user wrote about how her own brothers make her “fear” marrying a Mexican man. She explained, “My mom raised them exactly how other Mexican moms raise them, they hand everything to them.”

Yet another Latina wrote about her own first-hand experience in a Mexican household, saying: “Growing up, I’ve seen all the women in my family cater to the men… and still being treated like s**t.” She vowed, “I’m creating my own path.”

Another X user said that mamitis means “the fault is with everyone but [a mother’s] son…. the son is exempt from blame, or fault, [or] criticism.”

And of course, there seems to be a direct pipeline between machismo and mamitis:

And, hilariously enough, one X user saw the mamitis epidemic in Latino culture front-and-center on TV. They explained, “[These shows are] exposing an internal community issue with these vicious señoras who are at war [with] their in-laws and in love with their sons.”

And from one man’s perspective, he steered clear of machismo because of his relationship with his mother. “As a kid, my mom always made sure I knew it was OK for me to have feelings,” he said. “I’m glad she did that [because] the machismo en los Latinos be wild.”

Still, when it comes to mamitis, dogs are 100% approved: