Demi Lovato Opens Up About Hard Drug Use And Drinking After Questioning Sobriety In YouTube Docuseries ‘Dancing With the Devil’
EDITOR’S NOTE: The following contains references to drug addiction, disordered eating and sexual assault, and may be triggering for some readers.
The first two episodes of Demi Lovato’s much-anticipated docuseries, “Dancing With the Devil” dropped on Tuesday. So far, the series is holding nothing back when it comes to delving into Demi Lovato’s demons.
The show covers Lovato’s eating disorder, addiction struggles, and the aftermath of her near-fatal 2018 drug overdose. Here are some key takeaways from the first two episodes of “Demi Lovato: Dancing With the Devil”.
So far, the series is an intimate look at what led up to, and the aftermath of, Demi Lovato’s 2018 overdose.
Thank you to everyone who has joined me on this journey, who has helped me share my story, and for those that are by my side today💕 #DemiDWTD— Demi Lovato (@ddlovato) March 23, 2021
The first two episodes, entitled “Losing Control” and “5 Minutes From Death” illustrate the exact conditions that led Lovato to break sobriety and become sucked into a level of drug-use that she had never experienced before.
“Dancing With the Devil” features candid interviews with Demi’s friends and family who explained Demi’s state of mind leading up to the overdose. They also explained why they were all so blind-sided when they found out she was doing hard drugs.
According to Demi, her team controlled her for so long in order to “protect her”, that she felt that she had no freedom.
Breaking her sobriety was a way for Demi both to rebel and to regain some of her autonomy.
“My team has consisted of assistants, a wellness coach, a dietician, a nutritionist, therapists,” Demi revealed in “Dancing With the Devil”. “I’ve had all these people in and out of my life. I feel like decisions have been made for me more so than I’ve made decisions for myself.”
Lovato revealed that the breaking point for her was sometime in early 2018 when she was at a photoshoot.
“I remember being at the photoshoot and just thinking to myself, ‘I don’t even know why I’m sober anymore. I am so miserable. I’m not happy.'”
According to Lovato, she picked up a bottle of red wine that night and within 30 minutes, she called someone for drugs. From that point forward, she started doing hard drugs, including meth, molly, cocaine, weed, and OxyContin.
Her friends and family knew she was drinking again, but they didn’t know about the drug use. Within two weeks of breaking her alcohol sobriety, Demi quickly became dependent on both heroine and crack cocaine.
In “Dancing With the Devil”, Demi said that, for her, using heroine was recreational at first. But, she added, “you can’t really do that with heroine without becoming addicted to it.” In fact, Demi wrote “Sober” after she realized she was dependent on heroine.
On the night of July 24th, 2018, after hanging out with friends, Demi called her drug dealer over. He provided her with oxycodone laced with fentanyl.
no words. you’re so damn strong, i’m so glad u’re in a better place rn. wishing u all the best demi, we love u!! pic.twitter.com/jzNRKseJVZ— allegra❀ (@degrandeheels) March 23, 2021
It was then that Lovato overdosed. “Dancing With the Devil” gives a graphic play-by-play of the harrowing morning her assistant, Jordan Jackson, found her in her bed, unconscious. Jackson called 911 and the paramedics arrived shortly after.
“Her whole body completely turned blue,” revealed Jackson. At one point, Jackson thought to herself: “She’s dead for sure.”
Paramedics rushed Demi to the hospital where multiple doctors worked on her to try and save her life. The friends who were just with her couldn’t understand what happened within the hours since they left her. She had completely hid her drug use from them.
“I was manipulating the people around me and making sure they never found out,” Demi admitted.
The health consequences of Lovato’s overdose were serious and far-reaching.
“I had 3 strokes. I had a heart attack. I suffered brain damage from the strokes. I can’t drive anymore. And I have blind spots in my vision…” she revealed. In addition, she had multiple organ failure and pneumonia because she asphyxiated.
“That night, I wasn’t injecting it, I was smoking it,” she explained. “Which is another reason why I was so shocked when I woke up in the hospital. Because I was like, ‘No, I’m not injecting it, I can’t overdose on it.’ At the end of the day, if you do too much of anything it’s going to kill you.”
In another shocking revelation, Demi shared that her drug dealer took sexual advantage of her while she was overdosing.
When she woke up in the hospital, healthcare workers asked her if she had had consensual sex with someone. Having hazy memories of someone being on top of her while she was high, Lovato said yes. But soon, she knew that wasn’t the case.
A month after her overdose, Demi realized that she “wasn’t in any state of mind to consent to anything.” “I was literally left for dead after he took advantage of me,” she said.
Despite all this, Demi says that quarantine has given her the time and space to take a pause and focus on healing her trauma. “It’s interesting that it took me a quarantine to work on this trauma stuff. I’ve never really taken the time to dig deep and do the work.”
The next episode of “Demi Lovato: Dancing With the Devil” drops on March 30th.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, disordered eating, or mental health, 1-800-662-HELP or visit samhsa.gov for additional support.
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