5 Reasons Why Everyone Needs To Know Wendy’s Has Huevos
It takes major huevos to be Latino. Piénsalo…where would you be sin huevos? Life has definitely tested you, because it AIN’T EASY being us. Just last week I barely dodged a heat-seeking chancla my madre threw porque no le doble la ropa after she told me to do it 19-and-a-half times.
Life is TOUGH. Pero, por lo menos every once in a while something truly beautiful happens. Wendy’s® now has BREAKFAST. I’m trying not to cry, but you have no idea how happy this makes me. And Wendy’s Breakfast has real huevos. It’s perfect. It’s SO us, fam. Don’t keep this to yourself. If you’re a good person (and I’m assuming you are) please tell EVERYONE they need the Frosty-ccino® in their lives, and all their Breakfast sandwiches are just chef’s kisses. We need all the huevos we can get, fam. Because in life, you will definitely have to face the following obstacles with real huevos and Wendy’s Breakfast will definitely come through for you:
1) When You Follow Your Crush on Social
Don’t lie. We all peep on a cutie’s socials when we’re crushing on them. It’s hard not too. We’re Latino. Our blood is spicy with passion, and even just thinking about our crush’s eye-lashes makes our hearts pound like a tamborazo band jacked up on energy drinks. Tah-tah-TAN, Tah-tah-TAN, Tah-tah-TAN!!! But then comes the moment you REALLY have to summon your huevos, and that’s when you’ve got your thumb suspended over the “follow” button on their profile. You tap “follow”…there’s no going back. They’ll either accept or decline. Your heart hangs from a cliff at that moment. Do it, baby. Because mamá didn’t raise no miedoso. Don’t EVER be afraid to feel love for someone. Be more afraid of being defeated by doubt.
2) Telling Your Mom You’re Moving Out
Your madre will NEVER let you forget you LIVED in her pansa for 9-LONG-MONTHS and then under her roof for 20+ years. She cried harder leaving you on your first day of school than that time she threw out her back trying to carry all the bags of mandado on one trip. When the time comes to tell her that you’re leaving her house…agárrate, güey. Because you’re about to throw her heart through a bush of rosales and no amount of, “Pero te llamo todo los días mami” promises are going to CHILL👏 HER👏OUT👏. You’ll need serious huevos to get through this. So don’t approach your mom with this on an empty stomach. I recommend a Wendy’s Breakfast Baconator®. I also recommend you tear a piece of the bun off for your a’ma. She will need the pan. For el susto.
3) Asking For a Raise
Eventually your 4 pairs of calzones are going to be SOOOO worn-out that you’ll have no choice BUT to ask for a raise. No, dude. You CANNOT flip your underwear inside-out. HOLES DON’T WORK LIKE THAT! Asking your boss for more money is difficult. Our parents taught us to be grateful, because where they grew up, hot water was, like, “literally” a premium streaming service. But don’t be conflicted, fam, because you’ve worked hard your entire life. Your mama had you pulling weeds, scrubbing the grease in the oven, cleaning under your bed, where all the arañas and el cucuy lives. You have every right to ask for a raise. And, yes, it takes real huevos to ask for a little extra cash…but never forget that your paycheck should be as amazing as you.
4) Adopting a Puppy
Puppies are baby angels from heaven. But the responsibility of adopting one is HEAVY. Because on social media, all you ever see puppies do is cute viral things, like: dance tango, or water the grass, or wear funny-looking little dog bikinis. Sigh. SO PRECIOUS. But behind-the-scenes, that little bikini dog is actually knocking over your plant collection, tearing up your favorite tiger blanket, and barking at the shadow of your humidifier when you’re trying to sleep at night. But if you’re considering bringing one of these furry baby angelitos del cielo into your home, or know someone who’s thinking about it, make sure to think through it over a Wendy’s Breakfast. You’ll think back on this article and weep. Because tenía razón.
5) A DRAMATIC Change to Your Look
I know when I look into the mirror it’s difficult for me not to want to kiss myself. I am a beautiful Latino man. But, even though I’m a man, I know that hacking off your hair, or completely reinventing your wardrobe, or doing something wild with makeup is not for the faint of heart. It happens to many Latinos. One day you’ll look in the mirror and decide, “it’s time.” And if you need someone there with you when you decide to change the person you see in the mirror, remember…Wendy’s has Breakfast con huevos. And you are going to need REAL huevos. So, take a bite from a Sausage, Egg, and Swiss Croissant, then sip your Frosty-ccino® before you blow your old self a long kiss goodbye. Because the new you will have the MOST IMPORTANT part of you…your fierceness, y tus huevos. Yeah, bay-beh.
Thank you for reading this. I can tell you’re a very smart person, because you read. But nothing you read truly matters unless you share your knowledge with others. Be a light. Shine this info upon all your friends and family. Let them know Wendy’s Breakfast is here, and it’s NOM-DOT-COM. They will thank you. They’ll say…”Wow, the person who told me about Wendy’s Breakfast is the most intelligent person alive. I am now nourished and have the huevos to take on all those things life throws at me.”
Doesn’t that sound lovely? Great. I’ll leave you to it.
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