Serena Kerrigan is known for “doing it for the plot,” grabbing her own life by the horns and inspiring countless others to do the same. Whether talking situationships, touting the benefits of giving yourself a hard look in the mirror and saying “I f***ing love you,” or explaining that getting back with an ex is like keeping moldy milk around, let’s just say Kerrigan knows a thing or two about confidence and gives the best relationship advice around.

The dating expert and media personality sat down with mitú to talk about her life, and it’s crystal-clear where her ambition comes from.

She described how her “fearless” Argentine mother first became a doctor in her home country, and then decided to leave Buenos Aires in her 20s to pursue film school in the United States. There’s no doubt the Latina entreprenuer’s background has inspired her major work ethic: “My mom is an immigrant, my grandparents were also immigrants, it’s just something that I’ve just been taught… to go for your dreams.”

The self-dubbed “Queen of Confidence” described that being Latina taught her to “always be in search of a better life and it is at your grasp,” and that being bilingual allows her to connect with more people everyday.

Kerrigan also told us, “Seeing how my mom, like many Latinos, many immigrants come here for a better life and are fearless because they know something is [there] for them” clearly inspires her to leave fear at the door — and we love to see it.

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Growing her brand and audience with confidence pep talks and all things “plot girl summer,” there’s no doubt Kerrigan should be everyone’s go-to for relationship advice — she even has a series of mega-addicting dating card games that are every bit as self-love-building as her persona. 

Of course, we had to ask Kerrigan about her tips for moving on after a breakup, especially if your entire Latino family loves your partner. Her advice may surprise you!

1. It’s all about boundaries

“A breakup is between you and your partner, it has nothing to do with your family. So it’s really important to strengthen a boundary with your family. Your family ultimately isn’t in the relationship with your partner, you are. Let your family know what happened… emphasize this situation is about you and not their feelings about [your partner].”

2. Honesty is the best policy

“If [your family doesn’t] get it, and you feel comfortable, be honest about the cause of the breakup. I think it’s really important to be clear… you don’t have to tell them everything, you don’t have to report back, but it’s about being clear like, ‘It’s over, I’ll talk about it when I’m ready.'”

3. Less or no contact might be best

“It’s really important to ask your family to [decrease] any kind of communication with that ex.”

4. Stop idealizing the past

“After a relationship ends, we tend to idealize that person and the relationship. It’s about writing down why you broke up… [write] a list of things that you didn’t like, that you don’t want in a future partner. Every time you fall back into the spiral, you go back to the list.”

5. Put the focus back on yourself

“Focus putting all the energy back on you. [Some of us]… tend to be caretakers, we tend to be constantly appeasing and taking care of the other. Breakups are an opportunity to put that care back into yourself, whether it’s exercising, hanging out with friends, catching up with family. You’re still in a relationship with yourself… that’s your constant in your life.”