Entertainment

Gwyneth Paltrow Dropped A ‘Vagina’ Scented Candle—Apparently Her Eau De Vagine Smells Like Bergamot And Geranium

Professional actress-turned-businesswoman Gwyneth Paltrow released an already sold out candlelast Friday, playfully named “This Smells Like My Vagina”. While it’s nice to see lady parts getting good press, we have a few questions about the $75 candle —the main one being “why though?”

Gwyneth Paltrow has made a strong business out of her vagina.

 The actress-turned-wellness-guru —through her platform Goop – introduced us to the concept of vaginal steaming, jade vaginal eggs and, of course, the elusive sex dust moon juice. Now, to start 2020 on a high vaginal note, we have the vagina candle, which has already sold-out, prompting a waitlist.

The $75 item contains traditional perfume elements “to put us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth,” the product copy reads.

The notes of the candle include geranium, citrusy bergamot, cedar, Damask rose, and ambrette seed. The blend is meant to amount to the aroma of the actress’ very rich and powerful vag. Additionally, Goop describes it as “a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent.” 

We’re not sure if the name is meant to be a joke, or if the candle actually smells like lady parts 

According to a previous Goop description, the provocative name came from a joke between perfumer Douglas Little and Paltrow. The two were testing a fragrance one day when she declared, “Uhhh, this smells like a vagina.” The bouquet evolved into a “funny, gorgeous, sexyand beautifully unexpected scent.”

Let us not forget that Paltrow’s vagina products have landed the businesswoman in hot water before

In September 2019, Goop paid a $145,000 settlement in a lawsuit over vaginal eggs. The website had made unproven claims that the Jade Egg and the Rose Quartz Egg, could “balance hormones, regulate menstrual cycles, prevent uterine prolapse, and increase bladder control,” said the Orange County District Attorney’s office in California. Not so, said the California Food, Drug and Medical Device Task Force, who argued that Goop’s assertion wasn’t based on scientific evidence.

Like many other products sold on Goop’s website, the 10.5-ounce hooha-inspired candle is relatively overpriced, ringing up at $75. 

But alas, that hasn’t stopped a flurry of curious online shoppers from snagging one in hopes of gleaning feelings of “fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth,” as the product description promises. 

Unsurprisingly, the internet nearly broke when the news about this candle broke. Keep reading for some of Twitter’s funniest reactions.

You all need a time-out indeed.

The future is now, folks

Who would’ve thought this would be what 2020 had in store for us. 

Jenny here, sure knows how to crack a vajayjay joke

Ouch…burrrn

And then, ‘The Rock’ got involved —yup, you read that right. 

Given that this is evidently the nature of the times we’re living in, whether we like it or not, comedian Adam Ray suggested on Instagram that The Yankee Candle Company should get in on the action by selling candles that smell of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson‘s balls.

Responding to the post, the wrestler-turned-actor joked that he had tried to create such a product in the past, but it hadn’t quite gone to plan.

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He wrote: “Brother I tried to make those candles but I kept burning my balls. So I moved on to shampoo.” Now there’s an image for us all to enjoy. He also added the hashtag ‘#scentofsac’, which I think really adds a certain something to the story.

The candle is a collaboration with Heretic, a perfume company that has revolutionised fragrance with their chemical-free, androgynous products.

“We sit on the floor and geek out on fragrance,” Paltrow shared of the collaboration. 

‘This Smells Like my Vagina’ is a nice little pre-game for the absurdity that is coming.

Surely, the viral and much-talked-about candle has something to do with Gwyneth’s new Netflix docu-series, The Goop Lab. The show will delve deep into the actresses surreal world of yoni eggs and unorthodox wellness practices. Set to premiere on Netflix on January 24th, we can’t help to suspect whether or not this candle is a great marketing stunt to create a buzz around Gwen’s brand. 

As a self-confessed Goop tragic, I think that everything that the website, and Gwyneth does is a comedy goldmine. You could lock all the SNL alumni in a room and they’d never come up with things as bone-shatteringly funny as the Goop shop and newsletters, case in point, this title; ‘Inbox sage for the digital age.’ —no joke. I hope that Gwyneth never stops. I hope that she keeps promoting crazy health teas and rose quartz dildos until her final days.

The Best And Worst National Anthem Performances Of All Time

Entertainment

The Best And Worst National Anthem Performances Of All Time

CavBuffaloSoldier /Youtube

Belting out any song in your best voice can be tough stuffings. But when it comes to performing the “Star-Spangled Banner” only singers in a completely different league of their own can actually do the national anthem justice. The songs poetic lyrics are notoriously difficult because of its wide range. So of course, naturally, in the decades of performances in which “Star-Spangled Banner” has been song at sporting events and the like, there have been some mishaps. 

This year, both Shakira and J.Lo are set to perform at the Super Bowl’s halftime show while Demi Lovato will make a career come back by singing the national anthem for millions of viewers. Here’s a look at all of the times singers have rocked and flubbed the national anthem.

That time the Dixie Chicks did a beautiful country rendition of the song.

Fans of the Dixie Chicks fell further in love with the country music stars when they stuck to the original lyrics and sentiment of the song when they performed at Super Bowl XXXVII in 2003. 

When Whitney Houston gave a GOAT performance back in the 90s.

The queen of pop reigned supreme back in the 90s and thanks to her outstanding vocal range she had the full anthem in the bag. During the 1991 Super Bowl XXV,  Houston sang and hit each and every note. Not only that, she recorded the song and released it as a single and when 9/11 happened she re-released the single and gave all of her earnings to charity. 

In 1983, when Marvin Gaye gave the national anthem a whirl and blew our minds.

Twenty years ago, the beloved “Aint No Mountain High Enough” singer took the anthem to the next level. The singer’s  1983 NBA All-Star performance had a traditional MoTown feel and to this day is celebrated. In fact, his rendition was used in a 2008 Nike commercial featuring the 2008 U.S. Olympic basketball team.

When Chloe and Halle gave the classic ballad a twist of their own.

Back in 2017, the sister duo stole breaths at the NFL Draft Kick Off when the two sang “America the Beautiful”.  Beyonce did us a solid by discovering them.

That time Lady Gaga sang the National Anthem in a fire pantsuit. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oU_UEVp2ynU

Lady Gaga rocked Stadiums at the 2016 Super Bowl. During her performance, the Lady of ladies hit all of her notes and reinvigorated both sides of the crowd. 

That time Fergie went for an eye-popping performance. 

Beloved singer Fergie did a rendition of the “Star Spangled Banner’ in 2018 that was one for the books. The strange performance went haywire when the singer attempted to go for a sultry version of the national anthem that just… did not slay. During her perfroamce, camera panned to find audience members stifling giggles and soon enough an internet meme was born. Poor Fergie.

When Roseanne Barr gave us a peek into just how problematic she was.

Back in 1990, Barr made an appearance at a Padres game and sang the national anthem. (Still no word on who booked her for this.) Barr’s cringeworthy performance, which was off-key and oddly high pitched, was made worse when fans realized she was attempting to make the patriotic song into a joke. The racist comedian dared to even spit on the pitcher’s mound as she was leaving the field. Yikes. 

When Christina Aguilera forgot the lyrics.

In 2011, Aguilera came out to sing the lyrics to our countries beloved anthem and pretty much bombed. The famous singer had been celebrated for nailing the song hundreds of times. Even when she was kid. Video of the singer proves that she started out of the gate spectacularly but ultimately, things took a turn for the worse when she skipped over lyrics and even began the song again. According to an interview with Aguilera on Elleh, the singer let her get the mood get to her so bad that she forgot most of the lyrics and tried to improve. 

Eminem’s New Song ‘Unaccommodating’ Talks About The Bombing Of Ariana Grande’s Concert And People Are Offended

Entertainment

Eminem’s New Song ‘Unaccommodating’ Talks About The Bombing Of Ariana Grande’s Concert And People Are Offended

eminem / Instagram, arianagrande/ Instagram

Eminem’s new album has been getting a lot of backlash —granted, there’s no surprise there. But there’s one song in particular that has Ariana Grande fans fuming. It looks like the real Slim Shady referenced the 2017 bombing that took place during an Ariana Grande concert in one of his songs, and Arianators are not having it. 

Eminem’s new album, which dropped Friday, includes the track “Unaccommodating.”

The song contains the lyrics: “But I’m contemplating yelling ‘bombs away’ on the game/Like I’m outside of an Ariana Grande concert waiting.” Fans are steaming mad over the lyrics, which they say, make light of the Manchester Arena bombing. The 2017 terror attack killed 23 people, and happened during one of the “thank u, next” singer’s concerts.

To make things worse, the song samples an explosion sound effect, which many are calling disrespectful.

The 47-year-old raps the line against a backdrop of an explosion sound effect, and Twitter users were quick to express their disapproval. “Eminem really mocked the Manchester bombing on his new album? Does he not realize that kids and teenagers lost their lives that night?,” wrote one user. 

Others think he should stop making music altogether…

Real talk, Eminem is such a piece of trash for making a punchline out of the 22 people who died in the Manchester attack,” one person wrote on Twitter. 

The BBC reports that Manchester Mayor Andy Burnham is among those who are unhappy with Eminem’s lyrics.

In a statement, the mayor further explained: “This is unnecessarily hurtful and deeply disrespectful to the families and all those affected.”

Figen Murray, whose son Martyn Hett died in the attack, also voiced her disapproval.

“Feels like he is piggybacking on the fame of Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber and says distasteful things about other celebrities,” she wrote on Twitter after being informed of the two songs on Friday, “Not clever. Totally pointless. And before all Eminem fans pounce on me, I am not interested and will not engage.”

Murray has campaigned for the introduction of Martyn’s Law, which would require venues to introduce more stringent security checks. She later deleted the tweet after receiving backlash.

“Unaccommodating” is a song off of Eminem’s new album, Music To Be Murdered by. 

Fans of the rapper have taken to social media to defend him, with some pointing out that the entirety of his album is actually about gun violence and mental health. Others reminded Eminem’s critics that the rapper helped raise money at the time of the Manchester attack in order to support the victims and their families.

Eminem previously pledged his support to victims of the bombing in 2017.

The rapper urged fans to donate money to families who had been affected.

This is not the first time the 47-year-old has referenced the attack in song.

In a 2018 freestyle, he rapped about a brainwashed suicide bomber “seeing Ariana Grande sing her last song of the evening/And as the audience from the damn concert is leaving/Detonates the device strapped to his abdominal region.”

In a contrast to the Manchester Arena lyric, the album’s lead single, Darkness, advocates tighter gun control laws in the US.

The song and video reference the 2017 Route 91 Harvest music festival shooting in Las Vegas, in which 58 people died, with Eminem playing the role of an isolated, mentally-disturbed character who plots a murderous rampage to gain notoriety. The video ends with a montage of news reports from recent mass shootings, captioned: “When will it end? When enough people care.”

Eminem then urges fans to register to vote in the upcoming US elections, writing: “Make your voice heard and help change gun laws in America”.

The video also links to a website with information and links to various anti-gun violence organisations including Everytown For Gun Safety, March For Our Lives and Sandy Hook Promise. It’s not the first time the rapper has addressed the issue. Performing at last year’s iHeartRadio music awards, he delivered a verse attacking the National Rifle Association’s hold over politicians, rapping: “They love their guns more than our children.”