7 WWE Moments so Insane You’d Think they Could Only Happen in a Video Game
I’ve only dropped a taco ONCE in my life, fam. I was watching a WWE wrestling match that made me question EVERYTHING I thought I knew about EVERYTHING. Even my mom, who mentally “checks-out” doing her quehaceres, dropped her mop y se persignó when she saw WWE Superstar, Edge, crash through a stack of tables. Edge was going to need my madre’s oraciones that night. As for the el pastor meat tirado all over the floor….it was just as gone as Edge. R.I.P. mi taquito.
WWE 2K Battlegrounds just dropped, and all I can say is, EVERYTHING you love about WWE is in this game, and then thrown into “agárrate-güey” mode. To give you an idea of how choco-loco this game is, just think of the most buckwild WWE moments. Think back on those times you were watching and saw an OMG moment that made you scream like a chicken laying it’s first egg. THAT’S the type of gameplay WWE 2K Battlegrounds offers. It’s like playing in non-stop OMG moments. Moments like these:
My a’ma would refer to Kalisto as “un muchacho travieso.” Because I was taught ladders are for putting up Christmas lights and getting on the roof so you can hold the piñata rope. But this loco, Kalisto, does things with ladders that’ll make yo mama scream, “AY DIOS MIO!” And when watching the above insane moment, you might wanna turn mother away because she won’t wanna see Kalisto backflip off the top of a ladder and then splat a ladder below using Jey Uso’s spine. I can barely even climb a ladder, let alone do this. If I’m at the height of the ladder where it wobbles, mejor me bajo and I tell my older brother he needs to bring down the container with all my mom’s recycled gift bags.
The last thing I’d ever want to see while I’m lying on a table is Becky Lynch jumping off the top of a ladder and leg-dropping me straight to el infierno. Math was never my strength, but I’m positive that “ladder + Becky Lynch + plus me all norteado on a table = not eating solid foods for a year.” Luckily, with WWE 2K Battlegrounds you can do stuff like this all day AND enjoy your favorite solid foods.
NOW these big boys have definitely been eating their tortillas! Because WOW! Las mamás of Braun Strowman and The Big Show must be SO proud, because when Braun Strowman hits that superplex and the ring collapses beneath them, even I would be a proud mamá, knowing that I’d fed these boys well and that my comida made them so llenito and healthy that they literally smashed the an entire ring to ground. I’d be sitting at my comadre circle when I’d suddenly exclaim, “deja que les cuento, my son flattened a WWE ring.” The look of envidia on all my comadres’ faces would be enough to let me die a happy mother.
My brother once fell off the top of a bunk bed when we were staying at my cousin’s house in Tijuana. Luckily my dad broke his fall, because my dad was sleeping on the floor right where my brother landed. Unfortunately, for Lita, my dad wasn’t sleeping on the ring where she landed when Trish Stratus pushed her off the top of a ladder. Instead, a table caught her fall. Qué lastima.
Y’all ever put too much lighter fluid in the grill and almost burn off your cejas when you light it? Well, estos güeyes se pasaron de madre with this table. I remember seeing Edge spear Mick Foley through that flaming table and my face just went blank. My brain was like…”I think I’m gonna go. I don’t even know what I just saw…pero, creo que es hora que me voy…” Imagine being able to do this level of desmadre? Well, you won’t have to imagine it when you play WWE 2K Battlegrounds. It’s non-stop desmadre!
For every woman who’s ever been told sports are for men, the moment Ronda Rousey did a take down on Triple H and lifted him over her shoulders in front of a roaring WrestleMania audience who lost their minds – it sent a message to the entire world – the playing field is equal…so, men, watch yourselves. Because in no other professional sports organization have we ever seen men compete against women. So fellow compas, I invite you to challenge your comadres and sisters to WWE 2K Battlegrounds, unless you’re scared. It’s okay to be scared.
Imagine you’ve never heard of or seen WWE wrestling. Now imagine seeing this tall miedoso-looking Prince of Darkness with long black brujo hair fighting a dude with a mask that looks like it’s made from all the cintos your mom ever spanked you with. On top of a giant steel structure. And then the dude with the mask gets pushed off the top of the structure and falls down two stories, crashing through the announcer table. After seeing that, you’re like, “Okay. This is all I want to watch for the rest of my life.” This is hands down the most iconic WWE moment, and when I die, if I’m allowed to revisit 3 moments in my life, they would be 1) The moment I held my daughter for the first time 2) My first kiss with the woman who became my wife AND 3) the first time I saw the Undertaker push Mankind off the the Hell in a Cell.
Each of these electrifying moments sent what felt like a thunderbolt through my entire nervous system. They made me feel this incomprehensible excitement – like when my mom learned how to use emojis for the first time. And it’s because these moments proved NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. Only the WWE can deliver so many unforgettable moments and make you stare dumbfounded at your TV for several minutes. And now you can experience and create these types of moments with your friends and primos when you play WWE 2K Battlegrounds! The game takes all the action and excitement and lets you grab onto your controller and go for the ride of your life.
WWE 2K Battlegrounds is out now. Gather your friends and family, because it’s time to lay the smackdown, baby.
And remember, don’t do the moves from the game at home. That’s what the game is for, fam. Pórtense bien.
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