Buckle Up for This Breakdown of George Santos: Fraud Charges, HBO Movie, Three Figure Cameos
Santos’ rise and fall has been much-documented in the press, with his expulsion generating the X trending topic “Diva Down.” And while that iconic hashtag is already insane enough, the politician‘s journey is much… much crazier. Ah, 2023.
The former Republican representative’s expulsion follows two federal indictments against him, detailing 23 charges. One indictment, unsealed in May, presented 13 counts against Santos, charging him with wire fraud, money laundering, theft of public funds, and essentially lying to the House of Representatives.
Explaining that Santos relied on “repeated dishonesty and deception,” U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of New York, Breon Peace, said “He used political contributions to line his pockets.”
The second October indictment was even heavier. That time around, it charged the politician with 23 counts, including conspiracy to commit offenses against the U.S., lying to the Federal Election Commission (FEC), falsifying records to the FEC, aggravated identity theft, and more.
As per both indictments and further investigations, the politician — who is of Brazilian heritage — went in with the political crimes. For one, it alleged that he received unemployment benefits while being very employed, used thousands of dollars in donor funds at Hermès, Sephora, OnlyFans and even Botox, and inflated his political campaign’s funding to the FEC.
Incredibly enough, the reports also allege that Santos made unauthorized charges to his donors’ credit cards and stole people’s identities.
“This Office will relentlessly pursue criminal charges against anyone who uses the electoral process as an opportunity to defraud the public and our government institutions,” U.S. Attorney Peace said.
As you may have seen on the news, the House Ethics Committee released a report on Santos’ alleged fraud in November, leading to a 311–114 House of Representatives vote to expel him. Here is his office sign being removed last week:
Okay, so now Santos is out of Congress — but the criminal charges against him still stand. And while the infamous politician is denying the claims, calling them “mere allegations” and “bullying,” people are talking about him more than ever. Why? Well, as Santos claims, there is a “witch hunt” against him. Many continue to find his insane, very questionable lies over the years.
Why did George Santos lie about being the star of the Baruch College volleyball team? And why did he claim to have been a reporter for a Brazilian newspaper… which the director later called a “lie, pure and simple”?
And now George Santos has a Cameo account?
What has George Santos lied about? Maybe… everything
As reported by Vanity Fair, George Santos has lied… a lot. Buckle up.
For one, as aforementioned, the politician said he graduated from Baruch College with an economics and finance degree in 2010 — but he didn’t. He also said he was the “star” of the university’s volleyball team, leading them to a “league championship.”
Then, as per the outlet, he really went in on the lie during a radio appearance. Saying his volleyball team “slayed” Yale and Harvard (slayed), he said he got “nice knee replacements” following his alleged athletic career. Baruch College later told NBC New York that they have no record of him attending. He doesn’t even go here!
Santos also allegedly once claimed to have been a model who graced New York Fashion Week. He also once said he “lost four employees” in the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando, Florida, but the New York Times found the claims to be untrue.
According to Intelligencer, he also lied about attending the private Horace Mann School in New York City for high school, being a New York University student once upon a time (was that before Baruch? Or after?), working for Goldman Sachs and Citigroup (fact-checkers went off with that one), and working as a journalist in Brazil. Crazily enough, he also lied about producing the 2011 musical “Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark”… for no apparent reason:
Santos may have made a Wikipedia account under his alter ego “Anthony Devolder” (what in the James Bond villain is happening here?). The user’s biography states that he won awards as a “drag queen,” and later appeared on shows like “Hannah Montana” and “Suite Life of Zack & Cody.”
At some point, the former Congressman also claimed to have suffered an “assassination attempt” which doesn’t seem to have happened.
About that “drag queen” business, though. Back in January, at least two sources claimed that Santos participated in drag queen pageants under the name “Kitara Ravache” in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil in 2005. One source even said that the politician dreamed of being “Miss Gay Rio de Janeiro.”
At the time, Santos said the claims were “categorically false,” adding, “I will not be distracted nor fazed by this.” However, later, Santos admitted to reporters he was at that Brazilian festival, saying: “Sue me for having a life.” And of course, tons of GIFs and memes on the moment abound on the internet:
Some of Santos’ alleged lies get pretty serious, too. This includes saying his grandparents were survivors of the Holocaust, which genealogists could not find a record of. He also said that his mother survived the 9/11 attacks, but fact-checkers later found that she was in Brazil that day.
Breaking: George Santos has a Cameo account, and the memes are priceless
Okay, so it seems like Santos has lied… a lot. Now that he’s officially out of Congress, what’s a maybe-pathological-liar to do with their spare time? Start a Cameo account, of course.
The disgraced politician’s Cameo holds inexplicable things… like this:
Lot’s of love!
Another perfect Cameo video gives us this iconic Santos quote: “Botox keeps you young, fillers keep you plump” followed by a muah:
Dj Khaled has absolutely nothing on Santos’ motivational speeches:
Incredibly, reports now say that Santos has made more money in two days than his whole three-figure Congressman salary. He charges $400 a video, and people are eating it up:
Additionally, Deadline reports that there is an HBO movie in the works about Santos’ life. The dark comedy will be executive produced by Frank Rich, who gave us “Veep” and “Succession.”
This take on the politician’s very-dramatic life could be interesting, though:
Amid Santos’ über-successful Cameo account and those movie rights, people can’t stop meme-ifying the politician:
Is this a live portrayal of Santos leaving the Capitol for good?
This is the “Drag Race” goodbye speech we didn’t know we needed:
Gorb Slamtos, everyone:
A mask? Never:
People are also looking back at some less-reported insane George Santos moments, including when he maybe tried to “poison” reporters:
Still, not everyone is laughing so much about the politician’s case. Some people find the media and social media attention worrying, including one X user who wrote: “I fear we may be girlbossing George Santos too much.”
Another agreed, and their statement speaks for itself:
Others continue to joke, because, the internet. One X user wrote that Congress should let the former New York representative “sneak back” in every now and then “like the Grinch”:
Another compared Santos to an “evil gay 1960s Batman villain candle in the wind,” so we’ll just leave that there:
Will he be on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast next? The world may never know: