Culture

A Twitter Trend Asked Users To Name the ‘Blandest’ Doritos Flavors – Here Are 15 Most Bizarre Flavors, Including ‘Unsalted Egg Whites’

Doritos are meant to have spice — while we can accept the Nacho Cheese or even Cool Ranch flavors as a last resort, few can deny the magic of the Flamin’ Hot varieties. Yes, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos are still what make our corazones beat a bit faster, but Flamin’ Hot Doritos are great too — especially the Limón variety (we’re just stating facts).

Doritos are synonymous with flavor, which is why Twitter’s latest #BlandDoritos hashtag is giving us nightmares.

Twitter user @GailSimone asked their followers to think up the “blandest imaginable” Doritos flavors that might just send us to the ER from just picturing them.

Ranging from “Cool Styrofoam” to “Unsalted Tofu,” Twitter can’t stop, won’t stop envisioning new horrible varieties — and as per the original tweet, the winner gets “a big thing of white rice” (yum!).

Here are the 15 worst possible Doritos flavors Twitter users are imagining that will make you more thankful than ever that Poppin’ Jalapeño Doritos exist.

1. We’re just praying that this flavor is never created – even though they kind of remind us of obleas (IYKYK).

2. You said it not us!

3. You know when you don’t drink your McDonald’s Sprite fast enough and it’s suddenly water with a hint of sugar? Yeah, that.

4. While we’re very down for a Ghost Pepper Doritos flavor, Holy Ghost Pepper probably tastes like communion wafers.

5. We never really understood Jell-O desserts, so count us out when it comes to Gelatin Doritos.

6. White bread is great if you’re talking about some panes con pollo, or some sandwichitos de mezcla, but plain white bread Doritos? Not so much.

7. Unsalted tofu! Our favorite!

8. There’s nothing like some overcooked, underseasoned, boneless, skinless chicken breast-flavored Doritos to make us dream of just a bit of sazón and adobo seasoning.

9. You know those barbecues where meat is as dry as bone and all you get is some ketchup on the side to dip it in? Maybe not the best Doritos flavor.

10. We were already horrified, but now we never want to go out ever again.

11. These Doritos probably taste like cardboard – or La Croix (we said what we said).

12. We won’t deny that original saltines with some ajiaco or sancocho are okay — but Saltless Saltines Doritos? Count us out.

13. These are probably soggy, so no thanks.

14. Cool Ranch Doritos already get a bad rep, but if you’re a fan, may we present Extreme Iceberg Lettuce Chill?

15. We know Ned Flanders from “The Simpsons” would love these — he’d bring a big bag over saying, “Hi diddly ho neighborinos!”

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