Things That Matter

An Arizona Hiker Fell 70 Feet Into A Canyon And Was Stuck There For 24 Hours— ‘I’m Lucky’

In 2003, the story of Aron Ralston a hiker who became trapped by a boulder in an isolated canyon located in Utah for 127 hours went viral. Well, at least whatever form of viral was popular in the early aughts. Anyway, the story about his experience was ultimately reimagined as a biographical film starring James Franco and directed by Danny Boyle.

Now, a similar story about an Arizona man trapped in a canyon for 24 hours is making the rounds. And we can’t help but wonder if it will also get the Hollywood treatment. Mostly because his story of survival is pretty incredible.

Jacob Velarde was hiking on a solo trail last Tuesday when he fell almost 70 feet into a canyon.

Velarde had been hiking along the Indian Maiden Falls trail when the area he was hiking on fell apart beneath him. The 24-year-old plummeted seven stories below the surface and found himself stranded in the canyon with a broken nose, broken ankle, multiple gashes, as well as severe bruises. He also sustained a skull fracture and orbital fracture.

Velarde laid in the canyon by himself for all of those hours until a family that was also on a hike discovered and rescued him.

Speaking about the incident Velarde told People, “Right now, I just feel blessed. In all honesty, I shouldn’t have been able to survive a fall like that.”

Speaking to NBC affiliate KPNX, Velarde explained that he is an experienced hiker who goes on hikes about once a month. Initially, Velarde had set out to go on a 12-mile overnight trip with his brother but after seeing the rocky and steep terrain of the hike within the first mile of the trail his brother backed out.

Determined to make the hike, Velarde left his brother with the car keys and decided to meet up with him the next day.

The next morning, at around 8 a.m., Velarde said he made a wrong turn in an area of the trail that ultimately caved in when he walked across it.

Warning: graphic photo of meFor those of you that dont know, I had a pretty serious accident on my hike Tuesday, I am…

Posted by Jacob Velarde on Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Speaking with People, Velarde said that didn’t remember much when the fall occurred because “it just happened so fast.”

“Doctors said I’m lucky that I’m not more injured,” Velarde wrote in a post to his Facebook page. Velarde explained that his ability to survive was likely all thanks to his past experiences as a Boy Scout and a set of EMT lessons he took in college.

“It was a bit scary and painful, but it was all about keeping my injuries from getting worse and staying hydrated,” he told People. “With the knowledge, I had from both of those, I knew that I’d be able to take care of myself. I figured that if I was able to survive the fall, I knew I’d survive the rest.”

Velarde underlined that he felt confident that he would be found because his brother was expecting him. “My brother knew where I was and was expecting me the next day by noon,” he said. “He would have called for help to save me.”

Fortunately, Velarde didn’t have to wait for his brother. The family of hikers found him the next morning. “I honestly thought I was imagining them, but I was extremely excited,” Velarde explained. Soon after the family called for help, first responders airlifted Velarde to a nearby hospital.

“I just want to make sure everyone knows the risks and that it’s better just playing it safe on a hike,” Velarde explained of his reason for sharing his story. “I probably won’t be doing any solo hikes soon, but eventually, I will be doing it again. I’ll just be more prepared and safe [next time.]”

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Arizona Congresswoman Says That Hispanics Are ‘Good Workers’ But Shouldn’t Get Vaccines Before ‘American Citizens’

Things That Matter

Arizona Congresswoman Says That Hispanics Are ‘Good Workers’ But Shouldn’t Get Vaccines Before ‘American Citizens’

Photo via Getty Images

Coronavirus infection rates are falling drastically, but a new debate rages on: how to quickly, effectively, and ethically distribute vaccines to as many people as possible.

Last week, Arizona Congresswoman Debbie Lesko stated that Hispanic people–despite being “good workers”–shouldn’t get vaccinated before “American citizens”.

“I worked with people that are Hispanic,” Rep. Lesko said “I mean they’re very good workers…We’re compassionate people, but for goodness sakes, we have to take care of American citizens, or people that are here legally, first.”

She continued: “I’m just not going to be able to explain to my senior citizens that we’re giving away the vaccines to people that (are) here illegally. I just think that’s totally wrong.”

“My Democratic colleagues are putting illegal immigrants over them,” Lesko said during the hearing. “If I read it right, all this amendment says is put Americans first. Put Americans first, and once they’re all vaccinated, then you can go to the illegal immigrants.”

The statement was made during a House Energy & Commerce Committee hearing where representatives were debating an amendment to a COVID-19 relief bill.

The Republican amendment suggested prioritizing American citizens over non-citizens when it comes to getting vaccinated first. Democrats argued that purposefully excluding non-citizens from getting vaccinated would keep the virus from being properly contained.

“The vaccine has no clue about where you come from, whether you have papers, whether you’re considered a citizen or legal or not,” said Democratic Congresswoman from Illinois, Jan Schakowsky. “It makes no sense. This is dangerous.”

Arizona State Senator Martin Quezada told NBC News that Lesko’s statement “reeks of racism.”

“There are a lot of people of color in her district and for her to be disconnected and really that offensive about how she sees us, as nothing more than good workers and not entitled to equitable vaccine distribution,” he said.

When asked about her remarks, Rep. Lesko defend them to political outlet The Hill: “Taken in context, my remarks clearly were aimed at ensuring that seniors receive taxpayer-funded vaccines before illegal immigrants,” she said. “During debate on the amendment, after being interrupted several times, I said something that could be misinterpreted, but it certainly was not my intent.”

But it seems that it this point, Lesko is trying to do damage control. Just today, she tweeted out a picture of the local “Hispanic Advisory Board”, accompanied by a caption written completely in Spanish.

“Estoy orgullosa por el lanzamiento de nuestra Junta Asesora Hispana, la primera reunión fue anoche,” the tweet read. “Esta se enfocará en las maneras en que podemos servir mejor a los miembros de nuestra comunidad Hispana en Arizona!” (“I am proud of the launch of our Hispanic Advisory Board, the first meeting was last night. It will focus on ways we can better serve members of our Hispanic community in Arizona!“)

Serving a state that is 30% Hispanic, it seems like Lesko may now be regretting her previous comments…

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Reddit Users Talk About The Red Flags That Signal Love Bombing

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Reddit Users Talk About The Red Flags That Signal Love Bombing

picture alliance / Contributor

Well, well, so you’re in the midst of new love and wondering if it’s too good to be true. Things are going astonishingly well and not only is your new guy or girl a perfect match they’re super into you to the point that they’re almost TOO into you. Attentive, charming, selfless in bed, they tick off all of the boxes and so much more. Almost to the point that their constant texts, calls, and gifts are a little overwhelming.

While it might be possible that your new love is really just a loving charmer, it’s possible that you might have found yourself in the path of a love bomber.

According to therapists “love bombing” refers to someone who is overly affectionate in the early stages of a relationship in an attempt to control a person by giving them what they want and telling them what they want to hear. Essentially, love bombing starts off as a tactic to gain control and it can be done in numerous ways.

To find the red flags of love bomber we turned to Reddit where users had quite a bit of insight.

Check them out below!

“I think there’s a lot of overlap. Looking back at the time when I fell in love there was a ton of despair, loneliness and unmet emotional needs underneath all the surface level eager happiness and wanting to connect. She became the focus of my intense unconscious fantasy of being rescued from my childhood rut, and I became the focus of her similar fantasies. It wasn’t a respectful way of approaching another person and we didn’t actually get to know each other much during that honeymoon period, or even during most of the relationship that followed – although it took me a while to realize this. There were some disturbing similarities with addiction (which I’ve also experienced in various forms). That realization eventually, painfully, allowed me to see that I’d only drifted along the flow of falling in love in the first place because I didn’t understand myself well enough to know what was motivating me: a desperate hunger and pain from being emotionally abandoned by my parents when I was little. I wanted someone to be the perfectly loving parent I never had. So now I’m spending a lot of my available energy on understanding myself, trying to meet those unmet needs in healthy ways, and just having a better relationship with myself in general. I like to think of it as adopting the scared, hurt, ashamed child inside me and being the kind parent he needs. (It’s much easier said than done.) I’ve given myself an indefinite break from romantic or sexual relationships to get the space and clarity I need in order to do this work. Maybe some people reading this will think I’m just avoiding intimacy because it scares me. But knowing my own history of getting emotionally and physically involved with someone when my childhood traumas were still so raw and unhealed, knowing how much confusion, tension, self-compromising, resentment and subtle boundary violation there was, I feel there really is something to be scared of.” –beaaycan

“When you are with a person, are you still you? If you don’t know, ask your friends. Do you find that you change your favorite music to their favorite music without really thinking about if you do like it? And food, and movies and other stuff? Do you make yourself into the person they want you to be, or try to do this? Or do you both challenge each other to keep being you and find ways to be you, more and better?

When you want to spend time alone, does the other person respect your request? Or do they invade and have a reason like they just couldn’t keep away? Because while that sounds romantic, it is manipulative and puts their wants over your request/need for alone time.

When you want to spend time with your friends, does the other person whine and pout or respect your desire to have more people in your life than just a Significant Other? Normal is having friends besides the romantic interest and spending time with all of them, sometimes together and sometimes on your own. Does the person complain about your friends and not want to share you? Bad sign.

Seriously, the best advice I ever heard is to become friends before you become romantic. Romantic stuff can hide the other stuff that you need to know. If someone can give you the respect to be friends first, you have a better chance at long term.

And seriously, I have been nearly forty years with my spouse, and the romance and affection and time together and expressing feelings and messaging and all, it doesn’t stop, and it isn’t better at the beginning of the relationship. It’s new then, but if you can hold on through the hard times, it is better later.” –blueberryyogurtcup

“The key is how the person you’re with treats and speaks about other people. Pay particular attention to how they talk about and deal with exes.

If they’re a perpetual victim – their boss is always on their case, the ex screwed them over, they put other people down viciously but you’re ‘different’ – then you’ll be next once the bubble bursts. On the other hand, if you’ve got someone around who owns their part in breaking up with their ex/still has positive contact with them, wants to actively introduce you to their friends and social circle and is interested in your friends and family on more than just a superficial level, you can probably assume they’re genuine. If they take responsibility for their behaviour in minor disagreements rather than saying stuff like ‘you’re making me angry’ or putting your opinion down and they seek a ‘win-win’ resolution, then you can probably assume that they’re not bullshitting you. I had a friend who spent two years in a relationship with a guy she worked with (her mum worked there too!!!) and had no clue he was living with another woman 5 days a week! My friend would stay the weekend and the other woman would stay the rest of the week and there was a third woman in another city!!!! He just wove convincing lies about what he was doing during the time he wasn’t with her.

Key things that I think she should have picked up – he never showed interest in or met her friends, she didn’t really meet his, he didn’t make weekday plans with her – yet they worked in the same office-, there was a locked storage room in his flat he never opened in front of her, and he made no effort to move their situation forward. After all, if you had an interested, committed partner who worked beside you, wouldn’t you expect you’d consider moving in together to save on commuting costs, invite friends over, plan a holiday and open a joint bank ac for bills?

If a person’s behaviour doesn’t seem committed or logical, move on.” –AugustaG

“I think you have to give it time. Love bombing can only last so long before an N’s true colors start to shine. Don’t make any big commitments (like, a week in Mexico, moving in together, or getting engaged) for at least 6 months. And seriously don’t get engaged for at least 2 years. Moving in… 2 years is also good, but 1 year might be acceptable. It can take a couple years before you truly see someone at their worst, and that is when you know if it’s real love or not.” –nobelle

“I agree, it’s a matter of time frame (although that’s not even a guarantee). And in that time frame, there will be other red flags popping up every now and then. I think it’s not discrete characteristics, but patterns that describe a relationship.” –what-a-freaking-mess

“Mine used to do this all the time and I realized even in the love bombing stage it was all self serving. Sending me flowers non stop to the point where I got tired of them and then all I ever heard was, “What are the girls in the office saying?” Because HIS image of being the romantic sweet bf was more important.” – anonvic21

“Love bombing includes the N posturing to seem to be similar to you and have shared interests. However, if they are faking it they will lack any depth of knowledge about the topics they enthuse about… at least until they have time away from you to research it. What’s very telling is to watch them interact with your acquaintances who share your interests (but maybe some you haven’t mentioned yet) and see if they enthuse the same way about those things when they’re not addressing you. Love bombing includes a lot of someone else telling you how great you are, perhaps how much better you are than existing or prior SO’s. Also a lot of the N presenting self as whatever they perceive as desirable– attractive, wealthy, knowledgeable, accomplished… Consider is this person being so thoughtful and kind to you also considerate of their co-workers and the people who they interact with as service providers? How does the person deal with you saying no? Such as, rejecting their proposed plan, or refusing to answer something, or just expressing resistance in some way. N’s can’t cope with it.” –entropys_child

“I personally consider it a red flag because how can someone know me well enough to like every little thing about me from the word go? Why do they feel the need for so many compliments when actions speak louder than words? I think it comes either from a place of low self-confidence or manipulation. The person doing the love bombing hopes that the constant stream of attention, compliments, interests, etc. makes the person so enamored that they want this level of praise all the time. Then the love bomber stops or changes their tune which make the person who used to getting flattered being criticized or ignored.” –HeraBeara

“It’s basically a control and manipulation tactic. Some forms as I’ve known them is gifts or always paying for “fancy” dates out very early in courtship. Constant communication or contact such as liking your social media posts within seconds. Usually followed by pressure for a commitment within the first week or two; As I’ve known it my love-bomber demanded I delete my OLD account and then 2 days later tried to manipulate me into saying “I love you” and when I requested he slow down I got dumped.

It means shallow emotions because real love takes a while to develop and the first few weeks of dating are still the infatuation period. Also as I’ve experienced it the love bomber will say you’re beautiful when you just woke up with a touch of the flu and have eye boogies. Usually you’re bombarded with things like that along with being unique in understanding them, special, soulmate, gorgeous, the most beautiful person on Earth … once you’re hooked they start to chip away at you with constant critiques of things they once saw as awe inspiring in you. (ie: why do you always have gross eye boogies when you wake up!?!?” –Reddit User 

“It’s actually considered a form of emotional abuse in extreme examples. Often times it’s part of the grooming process an abuser uses to pick their victim and prep them. It happens in all sorts of relationships, not just romantic.Imagine a lonely person, who meets someone who flatters and woos them. They hear everything they’ve been wanting to hear. So they open up, become vulnerable and then can be deeply hurt in many ways.” – Reddit User 

“I experienced this [in] my marriage. I was the most wonderful creature on earth and he was Mr Perfect until we married. He openly told me “I decided to marry you the minute I saw you and I was going to say and do anything to make sure you wanted to marry me too”… And then every time I wanted to leave or left, Mr Charming and all his false promises came out for a week or two… And then things went back to normal. Lather rinse repeat. And apparently I was the bad person for not liking the ‘real’ him.

So, I’m very wary of too many syrupy compliments, moving quickly, pressure of any kind.” – Reddit User

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