Día de las Madres

Moms Get Brutally Honest About Having Multiple Kids — And Whether There Are Favorites

On average, Latina moms have more children than any other ethnic group. We can chalk that up to a variety of factors, including but not limited to our love of tequila, Catholic guilt, and a good excuse to eat as much bread and fried plantains as we can for nine-month intervals.

Perhaps it also has to do with wanting to raise children in large, loving families, similar to the way we were raised ourselves. After all, it does take a village.

If you did indeed grow up with siblings, there must have been a point in your life when you stopped to wonder: am I the favorite? Of course, our moms would never admit it if such a thing were true, at least, not to our faces. So, we asked seven moms if they had a favorite child and their answers may shock and “aw.”

To begin, some moms simply cannot choose, believing each of their children to be as equally special and deserving of love as the next, no questions asked. 

“I have two daughters and they’re both my favorite. I love my firstborn with my whole heart. She’s my oldest, and the first most valuable gift life gave me. My second, I also love with my whole heart. She was the second most valuable gift life gave me. My chest opened up and she fit right in at a point in my life when I wasn’t so young anymore.” 

— Raquel

A group of women posing for a picture

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Raquel and her two daughters.

“As a mom of two children under two, I thought for sure that my first baby girl would be my favorite. Not just because she was my first, but because I always wanted a girl and honestly didn’t care if I ever had a son. Then came my son 21 months later, and I can honestly say that I love them both equally, but in different ways. I share a unique bond with each child, similar to the way I love chocolate and a good steak. I could never choose between one or the other.”

— Sam

“Of course there’s a favorite child! Out of all my firstborns, William is my favorite. Danny is my favorite among my second born children.” 

— Carla 

A person and two boys

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Carla and her two sons, William and Danny.

For other moms, it’s more fluid, allowing the day to day to influence their preferences versus picking favorites. 

“I don’t really have a favorite child per say. It honestly depends on the day, the time, what’s going on. Some days, my daughter is my favorite because she’s so creative and empathetic and loving. Other days, she has an attitude, and my son is my favorite because he’s quiet and easygoing and introspective.” 

— Tazara 

“I have two kids of my own birthing, and a stepson I raised from infancy. I could never say I love any one more than the others. There is, however, a definite hierarchy of who I’d take to certain events/activities, and how I’d spend time with each, but it’s based on them as individuals. My oldest is the only one I’d try to take to the gym, my middle is brilliant for introspective/philosophical talks, and the little is the best choice for any kind of sports fun.”

— Kekua

“I’m a mom of two — an infant and preschooler — and while I can’t say I have a favorite, I definitely go through periods of preference with my kids. There are times when my infant is being fussy and I prefer to spend time with my preschooler to take a break and actually be able to have her communicate to me what she needs versus just crying like my infant. Alternatively, there are times when I favor being with my infant because I need a break from the constant questions that my preschooler has. I love both of them equally and can tell already they have very different personalities. So, I wouldn’t say I have a favorite, but there are times when I prefer one over the other.”

— Ali

For these moms, although they don’t have favorites, they recognize that the connection that they share with one child might be different than the one they share with other children. And guess what? That’s a-okay. 

“My initial thought was, yes, of course I have a favorite! But honestly, I don’t. My firstborn made me a mother, which will always hold a special place in my heart, but my second born made me a better mother. A mother who is confident and sure of herself. A mother who actually enjoys being a mother and isn’t anxious all the time. They are both two equal halves that make up my whole heart. Once they start developing their little personalities, it’s normal for a mother to get along better with one child and maybe even connect with one more, but I wouldn’t consider that favoritism.”

— Genesis

Note: Last names have been omitted upon request. 

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