Women Of Color Are Talking About Being Made To Feel Isolated By Their Family’s Ignorance And It’s Pretty Heartbreaking
Being our most honest selves around family can, no doubt about it, be extremely difficult. Add family dynamics, expectations, and Latino culture into the mix and things get quite a bit murkier. And while, not all families have a hard time accepting their children as they are, there’s no denying that children who are LGBTQ struggle to be accepted more by their family’s than others. According to Equality Florida, “when asked to describe the ‘most difficult problem facing them in their life these days,’ LGBTQ+ Latino youth most often cited three issues related to their LGBTQ+ identity: lack of acceptance by parents and family, fear about being out or open, trouble at school, including bullying.”
A recent post on Reddit asked women of color who are lesbians to share their family experiences.
The responses were not only extremely enlightening but particularly heartbreaking.
Check them out below.
This woman who feels constantly judged.
“Kind of late to this post but yes. I am a Latina Lesbian and we do not talk about sexuality in my family. My family knows but it is never mentioned. I moved out out my families house 5 yrs ago but every time I go visit for the holidays, the elephant in the room is there. The “when are you having children, getting married, boyfriend etc.” All I can say is do not feel pressured. You do not have to give up your happiness or yourself to please your parents. I am constantly judged by my family for my actions, but id rather be myself and be happy. It’s a tough battle but worth it. When I moved out I moved with the excuse of moving for a work promotion. So do you, do what makes you happy.” – eltorres27
And this chica who feel pressured by the expectations of her family.
“Yeah, my mom is an immigrant to this country (the US) and feels it would be disappointing to have the family lineage end with me. Like, she came here to start something new and I’m gonna end it. Truth is, I do want kids but may never have them due to my career goals. And that has nothing to do with my sexuality.” – Baegz_
This woman who finds her parents struggle more with her amazing partner.
“Yeah I’m Egyptian so I super feel you. I’ve been telling my parents for years before I came out that I didn’t want kids. And now I’m married to a trans woman… So things have been strained. I think the end goal is working through your own shame and judgment so that theirs doesn’t affect you as much. Also, I’ve been delving back into my culture (ancient Egypt), and while there’s always pressure to have kids (so that humans survive), they had no issues with being gay. It’s been really amazing connecting to that part of my culture so I don’t feel so isolated.” –curlyhairedlesbo
This chica who resolved her issues with her family by running away.
“Wish I didn’t understand this kind of pain, but I do. My family wanted me to go to uni, find a man (possibly rich), have 3 (possibly) male children, and go from there to being a happy family as a stay at home mom. My solution? Running away with my gf at age 19, settling down, get engaged, and still not have the balls to block my family on social media even when they retweet/share conversion therapy ads. If only I was as brave as some other people out there- my wonderful girlfriend included. I just run away all the time and it hurts. I don’t know what to do or say whenever my relatives confront me, and I haven’t talked to my parents in years. Thank god Angelika is with me. Otherwise? I don’t really know, nor I want to think about it. Hope you get thru this difficult part of your life. I love the life I have now, we have a dog for heavens sake. A dog! Haha. Never felt more at peace at home than now. It will get better. Trust me.” –Maki_san
This woman who finds any self-expression difficult.
“I’m middle eastern and it’s a huge expectation (I’m expected to not move out until im married) and any self-expression that doesn’t fit the norm is considered shameful for me & my family :/ being a POC lesbian is hard.” – stupididiotdumbassb
This woman who dreams of a life with a wife despite her family’s restricting expectations.
“Not a lesbian im newly bi but my family expects me to get an education get married and be a housewife. Anything i try different from the norm gets shit on. But honestly, i lowkey dream of having a wife sounds so pretty and romantic.” –56hej027sn10
Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org