Fierce

Women Of Color Are Talking About Being Made To Feel Isolated By Their Family’s Ignorance And It’s Pretty Heartbreaking

Being our most honest selves around family can, no doubt about it, be extremely difficult. Add family dynamics, expectations, and Latino culture into the mix and things get quite a bit murkier. And while, not all families have a hard time accepting their children as they are, there’s no denying that children who are LGBTQ struggle to be accepted more by their family’s than others. According to Equality Florida, “when asked to describe the ‘most difficult problem facing them in their life these days,’ LGBTQ+ Latino youth most often cited three issues related to their LGBTQ+ identity: lack of acceptance by parents and family, fear about being out or open, trouble at school, including bullying.”

A recent post on Reddit asked women of color who are lesbians to share their family experiences.

The responses were not only extremely enlightening but particularly heartbreaking.

Check them out below.

This woman who feels constantly judged.

“Kind of late to this post but yes. I am a Latina Lesbian and we do not talk about sexuality in my family. My family knows but it is never mentioned. I moved out out my families house 5 yrs ago but every time I go visit for the holidays, the elephant in the room is there. The “when are you having children, getting married, boyfriend etc.” All I can say is do not feel pressured. You do not have to give up your happiness or yourself to please your parents. I am constantly judged by my family for my actions, but id rather be myself and be happy. It’s a tough battle but worth it. When I moved out I moved with the excuse of moving for a work promotion. So do you, do what makes you happy.” – eltorres27

And this chica who feel pressured by the expectations of her family.

“Yeah, my mom is an immigrant to this country (the US) and feels it would be disappointing to have the family lineage end with me. Like, she came here to start something new and I’m gonna end it. Truth is, I do want kids but may never have them due to my career goals. And that has nothing to do with my sexuality.” – Baegz_

This woman who finds her parents struggle more with her amazing partner.

“Yeah I’m Egyptian so I super feel you. I’ve been telling my parents for years before I came out that I didn’t want kids. And now I’m married to a trans woman… So things have been strained. I think the end goal is working through your own shame and judgment so that theirs doesn’t affect you as much. Also, I’ve been delving back into my culture (ancient Egypt), and while there’s always pressure to have kids (so that humans survive), they had no issues with being gay. It’s been really amazing connecting to that part of my culture so I don’t feel so isolated.” –curlyhairedlesbo

This chica who resolved her issues with her family by running away.

“Wish I didn’t understand this kind of pain, but I do. My family wanted me to go to uni, find a man (possibly rich), have 3 (possibly) male children, and go from there to being a happy family as a stay at home mom. My solution? Running away with my gf at age 19, settling down, get engaged, and still not have the balls to block my family on social media even when they retweet/share conversion therapy ads. If only I was as brave as some other people out there- my wonderful girlfriend included. I just run away all the time and it hurts. I don’t know what to do or say whenever my relatives confront me, and I haven’t talked to my parents in years. Thank god Angelika is with me. Otherwise? I don’t really know, nor I want to think about it. Hope you get thru this difficult part of your life. I love the life I have now, we have a dog for heavens sake. A dog! Haha. Never felt more at peace at home than now. It will get better. Trust me.” –Maki_san

This woman who finds any self-expression difficult.

“I’m middle eastern and it’s a huge expectation (I’m expected to not move out until im married) and any self-expression that doesn’t fit the norm is considered shameful for me & my family :/ being a POC lesbian is hard.” – stupididiotdumbassb

This woman who dreams of a life with a wife despite her family’s restricting expectations.

“Not a lesbian im newly bi but my family expects me to get an education get married and be a housewife. Anything i try different from the norm gets shit on. But honestly, i lowkey dream of having a wife sounds so pretty and romantic.” –56hej027sn10

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Latinas Talk About Love At First Sight

Entertainment

Latinas Talk About Love At First Sight

Miramax

In an infamous scene in the 1992 book Like Water for Chocolate, the novel’s main characters Tita and Pedro swear their undying love for each other within minutes of first meeting. Just like that, they experienced love at first sight. Stories all throughout history have detailed the romantic personal experience of an instant and ultimately long-lasting romantic attraction for a stranger upon first sight. But how practical— or even true is that really?

We turned to our FIERCE readers to see just how prevalent this phenomenon is.

In a post to our Instagram page we asked Latinas for their love at first love stories.

And scavenged around Reddit for good measure. Check out what we discovered below!

“Yes. I had briefly met him before but it was the first time I ever really noticed him. We had a whirlwind romance and then he left to take a job in Europe. We kept in touch for a few years but never saw each other again. He is the gold standard I judge men by.” –
adorableadelita

“YES with my dog the second I saw him I knew he was the one!! I’ve had him for 17years now and we are happily ever after.”- virgok1

“Yes but I’m just not brave enough to tell them they’re beautiful tho, most incredible smile I’ve ever seen the most captivating set of eyes I’ve ever looked into. But well love from afar right?” –ta_ta1009

“Yes. And it was delicious, I’ll never forget those Tacos dorados. My one and only.”- funkycold___medina

“Yes! I never knew love could fill your heart like that so instantly and so completely! It was the first time I ever saw my niece! Best feeling in the world!”- yesi_lo

“Not in love but in strong lust.” – magnetic67

“Yes! And we just got married during the pandemic (very interesting way how we got married).”-21djenne

“Just when I first laid eyes 👀 on the paletero in my neighborhood. Jokes aside I love that man, he’s so sweet.”- dreathunder

“Yup met mine when I was 17 yrs old and knew I would marry them. Here we are 18 years later and still together.” –elizabeth_pearl

HelloSchrodi1 point·4 years ago

“We were both 18 going on 19. He was a second year science student, I was a fresh faced firstie at a brand new University. I was also 95% sure I was lesbian. I saw this goofy ginger at the outdoor movie theatre, he had Styrofoam strapped to his head and declared himself Julius Ceasar, and gave me the biggest and most genuine smile. When he asked my name, it was a genuine want not just a question you ask to fill time. My heart squeezed a bit, and we kept eye contact for a bit too long before we both turned back to the screen. The next day we ended up sitting across from eachother in the cafeteria, and as soon as I saw him sitting there with a grin on his gorgeous face I knew I could love him. We were attached at the hip for at least 8 hours every day for a month, it was like a need to be around eachother, a magnetic pull and attraction. We started dating after a few weeks. We both fell in love quickly. I never believed in love at first sight, but we fit together perfectly in every way and every day, even now as we’re 20 with a lot of growth and ‘relationship strainers’ under our belts there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where I don’t think of him and fall further in love. We’ve fought a bit, met eachothers families, he’s held my hand in the hospital and I’ve held his. We’ve had the kids talk, marriage talk, finances talk, and we’re moving in together this summer. It’s also pretty great that we have the same taste in women. I have never been happier, and he tells me the same.”-HelloSchrodi

“We met at work, when we both locked eyes we were drawn to each other. After a week of flirting with each other and staring into her beautiful blue eyes, she actually asked ME out. We dated for 8 years and got engaged; being madly in love is perfection. She walked down the aisle about 13 months after she accepted my proposal. She gave birth to her first child 10 months later, and had her second 2 years after that. She’s very happy in her life. Kind of wished she married me instead of the dickhead she met a month after leaving me.” –UrMomLikesMine

“It was a whirlwind. Can’t really explain it. Distance and heavy workloads on both our parts (we couldn’t see each other at all one year) made us end it. Still best friends, still in a sort of a platonic bond. We’ve both seen other people since then (I’ve just had a bad experience), but I don’t think I’ve ever felt that kind of… ease around someone until months have passed. When she moves here in a few years, who knows? She never will, but if she asked me to wait. I’d say yes in a heasrtbeat.” –ionised

“Yes… now married 10 years.” – juju_bees_mommy

“Well for me it wasn’t at first sight. But for him it was. Within the first week he knew I would be the one he was going to marry and spend his life with. My feelings grew quickly also and we knew we had met our soul mate very quickly. We are doing great. He’s saving up for an engagement ring, both support eachother in our respective fields (me in tattoo artistry and him in filmmaking). Once our financial situation is in order we plan to move to Seattle. I have never been so in love and I don’t regret it for a second.”- BigHeroDicks

elizabeth_pearlYup met mine when I was 17 yrs old and knew I would marry them. Here we are 18 years later and still together ❤️❤️❤️ @fiercebymitu

elizabeth_pearlYup met mine when I was 17 yrs old and knew I would marry them. Here we are 18 years later and still together ❤️❤️❤️ @fiercebymitu

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Latinas Are Sharing Their Most Treasured Memories Of Their Abuelos And It’s Exactly What We Needed This Month

Fierce

Latinas Are Sharing Their Most Treasured Memories Of Their Abuelos And It’s Exactly What We Needed This Month

Buda Mendes / Getty

When it comes to celebrating our Latinidad, there’s no denying that Latinos need much more than a month to celebrate our accomplishments, cultures, and contributions. Still, since 1988, people across the country have used Hispanic Heritage Month to commemorate the contributions of Latin Americans in the United States. This month, just like every other month, we’re recognizing and celebrating our Latinidad by sharing stories and moments from our followers.

Recently we asked Latinas on FIERCE to share their memories of some of the most influential Latinos in their lives: their abuelos.

Check out their sweet stories below.

“Ayy mis abuelos; I truly believe they were my soulmates. So many favorite memories. From my grandpa waking up early to start praying and writing his devotionals, to them sitting on the back swing HE MADE praying the rosary, playing backyard baseball with him & my cousins, my grandma sitting outside watching while croquets, watching novelas with her, they were the loves of my life, the sunshine my soul always needed to be happy….I’ll never trade any of my amazing moments with them. My angels; Catalina y Felipe Sustaita.” –melannram

“My abuelito passed away almost 10 years ago now, he was sick ever since I could remember so I was never able to make memories with him. Earlier this year I got to visit the rancho in MX where he raised my dad and tios. A little back story, I have this belief and connection to white butterflies. Whenever I see them or they cross my path I am convinced it’s my abuelito telling me that he’s near or watching over me🤎 anyways, on our way to the ranchito which I had only visited once before when I was about 4, we were guided by these hand sized white butterflies, it was absolutely beautiful. My abuelito really lead us to his casita in the rancho. I could feel his presence and happiness that his grandchildren had the opportunity to visit his home 🤎 this is my favorite memory, this is the memory that I cherish,
– a memory that brings me joy.” –sandra_larios

“Seeing my grandpa make my grandma a cocktail when she came home from a long day at work. He would leave her cocktail for her on the kitchen counter, so it was the first thing she’d see when she walked through the door. They taught me it isn’t always grand gestures, but a lot of the small ones that count.allimae2011

“My abuela started losing her memory early on but she always remembered the story of how she met our Abo until the day she passed. I was the type of kid that kind of resisted learning spanish, but hearing her tell those stories in her beautiful Puerto Rican accent made me fall in love with the language in a way I had never before. I owe my love of spanish and story telling to her. She was a wonderful story teller and I’ll always hold the fondest memories of sitting in her terraza with her 70s furniture, drinking cafecito, and talking about the man who made her fall head over heels in love.” –
alfonsina_mj

“Hearing them talk in the kitchen, drinking their coffee while listening to boleros.”- mel_aguirre1

“Making homemade tortillas with my ama.” – alwaysdulcee

“My Cuban 🇨🇺 Abuelitos riding in the back seat of their Mercedes and watching Abuelo open the door for Abuela every time. My Mexican 🇲🇽 side was making tortillas with Abuela and Abuelo teaching me to drive his truck. At 7 years old!” – brigittecasaus

“Making tamales for us just because.” – angierivera4265

“Cruising with my grandpa, building a studio with grandpa, changing the oil, tire, battery and learning to pump gas with grandpa. But my favorite one, him teaching me to read a clock with a song.” – 2ev37

“Meeting my grandma for the first time when she came to visit us in the US. I was 4 years old! It was so exciting because I would only speak to her in the phone and to finally meet her was a blessing. She was such an amazing lady ! She passed away 7 years ago. I wished she and I could of seen each other more often.” –_lizzylivvy28

“I would sit down on the little old sofa in our living room with my abuelito. He would tell me stories about him when we was younger. I always loved it when he would tell me the story about how he met my abuelita.” –
emigandar

“My grandparents weren’t together anymore, but they we’re 2 special people. My grandpa would always call at the crack of dawn on my birthday. I hated it as a kid, but loved it as an adult. And I’ve missed them the last few years of his life. My grandma would make our birthday cards and send them via mail. When we’d get them they would always be different. I miss those A LOT. They were always personalized and she knew details about the things I was going through so she made them specific to that. It was so special the little things they did for us. We lost my grandma 7 years ago and my grandpa a year ago in July.” –e_bonita89

“They raised me so having coffee with both of them. Eating watermelon with my grandpa and then reading together. Watching old movies together then taking naps. My grandma and I love watching novelas and then talk about them. I still walk with her to 26th street (little Village) or to our nearest aldi.” –melyssa.1997

“Mi abuela used to wake me up on weekends. She would enter the room singing “buenos días su señoría mantantirulirula”. She used to give me a hair brush, and while she was opening the window she would say “brush your hair hija, so the sleep will go away. I opened the window for it to go”. I would brush my hair and convince myself that I got rid of my sleepiness. My grandma is 90 now, and she’s still magic like this.” – iamevyi

“In 7th grade I missed the bus, and I hated missing school, and I cried the entire day because I was scared my parents were going to yell at me, and my grandma stopped my dad before he came in and told him what happened and how it was her fault I missed the bus, because she accidentally unplugged my alarm, even though it wasn’t true.”-
tinnaafaceee

“When my daughter was 6, I took her to visit my grandparents in Mexico. We arrived to the airport at night. It was crowded, a little disoriented, my baby seemed nervous as we were going through customs & she asked me “what if Grandpa can’t find us?”, Just then I saw movement through the large window ahead of us, it was my Abuelito, elbowing his way through the crowd, waving and smiling at us. He was always there when I needed him.” –magpieinaz

“Abuelos? Don’t have them. (Bad joke) They passed before I ever got to meet them. My parents never really talk about them, I think it’s too painful. I often wonder if there are any traits I have from them or if I do anything that my parents might say, oh she got that from my mom/dad. I’m happy my son has all 4 grandparents; I take a billion pictures of him with them.” –_nancysalto

melannramAyy mis abuelos; I truly believe they were my soulmates. So many favorite memories. From my grandpa waking up early to start praying and writing his devotionals, to them sitting on the back swing HE MADE praying the rosary, playing backyard baseball with him & my cousins, my grandma sitting outside watching while croquets, watching novelas with her, they were the loves of my life, the sunshine my soul always needed to be happy….I’ll never trade any of my amazing moments with them. My angels; Catalina y Felipe Sustaita ❤️

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