Studies have shown that even at an early age, children are susceptible to the pressures of conforming. For boys, the pressure to be more physical during play, express emotions less, and suppress the need to express feelings of happiness or even sadness is very real. What’s more, these findings (which have found that beyond the stereotypes that push young girls into feeling as if they are naturally unsuited for STEM fields) boys are also affected and told that they should avoid interests in reading and writing.
A new study is finding that in addition to the various negative effects the current pandemic has had on children, it has one particular upside: boys are being given space to access their full range of emotions.
In the time since schools have shut down, authorities say that boys are feeling less of the gendered pressures they once felt in school.
According to a 2018 report published by The State of Gender Equality, one out of three boys will internalize cultural messages to “be dominant, physically strong, violent, unemotional, denigrating to girls and seeing girls as sexual objects.” At the same time, the study found that 82% of boys had reported witnessing someone being insulted for “acting like a girl” when a male peer cried or displayed emotions.
Experts are saying that the current pandemic is easing the social pressures many boys feel in school.
Peggy Orenstein, an author who writes about the discrepancy between male and female sexuality, chronicled the issues boys face in school in her 2020 book “Boys & Sex.” According to CNN, Orenstein’s book paints “a simplistic view of masculine normalcy that cut them off from their full humanity, from interests and feelings and expressions that aren’t biologically masculine or feminine, but are culturally marked that way.” According to the author, the pandemic “relieved a certain kind of social pressure they felt to perform because they’re in a more private space. They can drop the wall a little bit more.”
“Boys face negative long-term mental and physical health outcomes from the socialization towards emotional suppression,” Orenstein underlined in her interview with CNN.
The point? Quarantine is giving boys the much-needed space that allows them to express themselves properly and productively.
“The extreme stress of COVID has revealed that the problem is not the boys; it’s the boyhood that we make for them,” psychologist and author Michael C. Reichert explained to CNN about the behavioral changes.”If we create a different set of norms, make a different space, and see boys through opened eyes, we’ll see that they’re relational, emotional human beings,” he said. “Behind the mask is a beating heart.”
Sounds like Tyler Posey isn’t taking social distancing too seriously! The actor recently revealed that he attended a “sex party” in recent weeks–smack dab in the middle of a global pandemic.
The “Teen Wolf” star talked about his sex party experience while being interviewed by Sirius XM’s “The Jason Ellis Show”.
The Mexican-American actor started the interview by being candid about his sobriety journey, saying he hadn’t been as social recently because he “went through a rough patch”. But, he has since changed his ways. “I’m sober now,” he revealed. “I’m 71 days sober.”
Posey then gave an example of how deeply uninterested he is in doing drugs now. “I was at a party the other night where they had a table of cocaine, just a table,” he said. “And they had Holy water, which was shots with Molly in it, and mushroom chocolate. And I didn’t give a s— at all.”
When Ellis asked him what kind of party this was, the “Jane the Virgin” actor admitted that it was a “sex party” where “people were hired to perform”.
Yes, Posey attended a sex party in the middle of a pandemic. Doesn’t exactly scream “safe”. Posey went on to explain that, although he did not have sex with any of the guests at the party this time, he had done so before.
“I have been to other sex parties, one other one, where it was like, uh….and I was like…” at this point, he broke into giggles before continuing. “I wasn’t part of the people who work there, but I was doing it.”
Tyler Posey has been making headlines recently for a myriad of reasons. In August, he came out on his Instagram page while condemning violence against trans women.
“I’ve been with trans women before. I’m confident with my sexuality,” he said in a wide-ranging series of Instagram stories. “I love everybody. I don’t give a s— what anyone thinks about me.”
Not only that, but Posey joined OnlyFans in September, where he has been further opening up about his sexuality and showing off his body for his fans.
While we’re all about being sex-positive and we’re happy that Posey is finding himself, any types of large gatherings right now are risky to public safety. And the likelihood that people were wearing masks at a sex party is…low. Let’s just hope they were safe in other ways!
Covid-19 is changing the all-American college experience. There is no more late-night munchie runs at 3 a.m., house party hopping, or late-night cramming with friends in the library. The spirit has completely changed, but all for the greater good of keeping others healthy and safe.
Still, that doesn’t discredit the fact that we are losing the value of our education by it moving online. We’re no longer able to use the campus as a resource to help fuel ourselves academically or socially. We long for the day we are able to build a sense of community again.
Here’s how Covid has changed the college experience and what you can do to make it better.
The Move to Online
Being a college senior myself, remote learning has taken a huge toll on me. My days are lengthened with logging on to Zoom for everything, and yes- even my pair of blue-light glasses can’t keep me focused.
I find myself eagerly waiting for my professor to say “That’s it for today everyone,” and sometimes can only hang in there for half of the time. I’m constantly left feeling anxious and frustrated.
I was sure that universities would begin to understand how different students cope with a very tricky, unstable, and scary situation at hand. However, I’ve experienced the opposite. An overwhelming influx of papers, online assignments, and weekly quizzes quickly presented themselves. Not to mention more group projects. Weekends soon became “working-weekends” and with assignments piling up I truly felt like I was drowning.
It wasn’t long until I had to think for myself. How am I going to cope with the now? I needed to figure out the best plan I could to navigate something out of mine and everyone else’s control. If you too are struggling during this time whether it be financially, academically, emotionally, etc, please know you are not alone. Below are some resources that might help each day go by just a little better than the last, and hopefully give you peace of mind.
COVID Emergency Assistance Funds
The last thing that we want to do is pay full price for online learning, especially during a pandemic. So check with your college or university about COVID Emergency Assistance/Relief Funds.This has greatly helped students access resources such as food, housing, course materials, technology, and affordable health care. In some cases, they even pay you to be at home. Additionally, FAFSA is allowing students to get even more aid granted despite if they were already given their semester disbursement- so it’s definitely worth checking out.
Trust me, we all could use a little help in this area. Luckily, Tuition Funding Sources’s (TFS) database connects students to monthly scholarships based on needs, wants, and qualifications. They have highlighted “scholarships of the day” as well as career aptitude tests that can help your search become even more personal.
Businesses are also partnering up right now to help students around the world get the support they need to further their education.The McDonald’s® HACER ® National Scholarship assists Latino students to be front and center and attain the education they deserve. In 2019, more than $500,000 was granted to 30 students in order to help finance tuition costs. And better yet, The 2020-2021 application period just opened October 5th.
This app is a lifesaver. From brief wellbeing exercises to longer guided meditation, Headspace is offering free downloadable tracks that can help you ease your mind at home or on-the-go anywhere and anytime. Tune in when you need a break or to re-center yourself.
Sometimes hearing someone speak and having an honest conversation about a certain topic is really fun to engage with. It provides us another perspective other than their are own, and it’s interesting to get a glimpse at the way other people live. Taking 30 minutes out of your day to listen to an episode can help ease some stress, reminding you that others are by your side who, too, have felt the same chaos.
For a great selection of podcasts, search Spotify or Apple Podcasts to start the search on some good series.
Be Patient with Yourself
Remember, this pandemic is not forever although it might feel like it right now. Do not feel like you are responsible for the frustration you are undergoing. Take some time to care for yourself and take a step back from the craziness of the world to remind yourself that things will get better.
Talk to a friend, counselor, or therapist if you find yourself in a crisis more than you can bear. Crisis Text Line offers free, 24/7 service to anyone who needs some support and wants to speak with someone. What’s nice is you have the option to either call or text, depending on what’s most comfortable and effective for you.
Get-togethers are looking a lot different right now, but you can still plan an event that will keep all of your friends together. Zoom can be a wonderful platform not only for the classroom, but to catch up with everyone. Plan a “Whine Night” where you talk about all things life or vibe to shared music. Your university should give you an unlimited personal meeting room link so you don’t have to pay a dime for the time.
Virtual Social Hours
Many universities are offering virtual social hours so students can connect to each other and get more of a sense of community as we navigate through the days. Check online on your school’s website to see what types of activities they are offering students at this time, and what events might fit your personal or career interests. You never know who you might meet!
Find Your Hobby
Having a go-to hobby during this time can give you something to look forward to and be an escape from all the ongoing chaos. Look into things like surfing, socially distanced yoga classes, cooking, or hiking to get you feeling joyful and inspired. Try one thing out and see if you like it, and if not who says you can’t just move to the next thing? You’ll be surprised at what you discover will be your next “thing.”
The pandemic has definitely made college life and life, in general, a whole lot harder. Know that it is completely normal to feel mad, sad, scared, or anxious about what’s to come. With these tips, my only wish is that they help you cope just a bit more as they have for me. Together we will get through this, slowly but surely.