Woman Opens Conversation on Latino Parents and Boundaries: ‘I’m Gonna Go Insane’
A woman just opened up an important conversation on TikTok about some Latino parents‘ dependency on their children. She wrote in the caption, “Lets start a show and call it surviving my Mexican mother,” admitting by the end of the video: “I’m [going to] go insane.”
TikTok user @vickythefitchick‘s video has garnered thousands of comments from people who relate all too well to her relationship with her mother. One person commented, “[I swear] they depend on the oldest daughter even when we move out,” while another agreed: “This!!! This!!!! This is the struggle I deal with on a daily!!!”
Countless people resonated with the TikToker’s video, where she describes helping her mother on a day-to-day basis with all kinds of tasks. Explaining how she drives her mother to appointments, calls and texts people for her, the frustrated daughter says it makes her feel “insane.”
Interestingly, the video has sparked a huge conversation on the difficulty of setting boundaries with Latino parents. Many of us can relate to keeping passwords for our parents in case they forget them, making them doctor’s appointments, being on call 24/7, and even helping them complete documents when were children.
Now, @vickythefitchick’s video makes many of us feel we’re not alone.
One woman’s TikTok video is resonating with many people dealing with Latino parent dependency
TikTok user @vickythefitchick starts out her video by repeating a mantra many of us know by heart: “I love my mom, I love my mom, I love my mom.”
“But I simply cannot make this up,” she shares. “If you’re Latino, you will understand what the f**k I’m saying.”
Ok, now story time. “She has a hair appointment today, okay? I have a 10 a.m. gym session. Her appointment at the hair salon is at 10 AM. So I tell her I’m going to drop her off before 9 a.m., because I need to do my cardio and I have things that I need to do.”
“I’m going to drop her off when it’s convenient for me,” she explains. Makes sense, right? Well, if you’re a Latino with parents with pretty vague boundaries — you probably know where this is going.
The mother replies to her daughter, “Oh, your brother doesn’t work tomorrow. Can you just ask him if he can take me?”
“Why don’t you call your son and ask him to take you?” the woman asked. “I said, ‘Mom, I’m working, I’m busy, I have s**t to do.”
The response? “Hm, bye.” Ah, anyone else resonating with this conversation as much as we are?
Once her mother was at the hair salon, something else happened. “She sends me a text right now, she’s at the hair salon. She asked me if I can tell our hair girl if she can curl her hair when she styles it.”
“My mom is at the hair salon with the hairstylist, right there,” she explains incredulously. “My mom can speak some English, okay?”
The TikTok user said that even though she was working, she texted the hair stylist anyway.
“[My mom] calls me and she’s like, ‘I don’t think she’s looked at her phone yet.’ I’m like, ‘You’re standing right next to there. Please tell her that I texted her,'” she recalled. “For the love of God… speak up.”
Thousands of people are responding to the TikTok user’s video: “We’re on edge”
Now, droves of people are responding to @vickythefitchick’s video, talking about how much they resonate with it.
One person commented, “And in the rare occasion you can’t do something for her, ‘Ayy, ya no se les puede preguntar nada!'” Where is the lie?!
Another joked, “If you’re the oldest daughter of a Mexican mom… how’s therapy going 😂,” while another added, “I can relate but then when I tell my mom what to do she gets mad at me and says I just don’t want to help her 🥴🥴.”
Many more talked about their own troubles setting boundaries with their parents. One wrote, “My dad is the same! “mija make me a Dr’s appointment” SIR ASK YOUR SON, HE LITERALLY LIVES WITH YOU!”
Another chimed in about their mother forwarding her emails (who else?!): “My mom sending me her emails ‘esto que dice’ like woman its in Spanish!!”
And yes, we all live the same life because who else needs to be on family password duty? “Just the same way they get mad when we can’t remember THEIR passwords.”
As one person put it, “So we all have the same mom.” Another explained how frustrating boundary-less parent-child relationships really are… especially when you’re still accused of not doing enough.
“The worse is when people think you do nothing or the minimum,” they wrote. “Little do they know we’re on edge.”
This subject resonates with many of us with Latino parents
Over on Twitter, the amount of people talking about this very same subject is jaw-dropping. For one, one user wrote that “living with needy strict Hispanic parents” is one of the “hardest things” they have overcome.
Others talked about the difficulty of having “Catholic guilt” and seeing your parents get older: “I need to take care of myself, too and put boundaries.” Yet another talked about their “ever looming sense of dread” when thinking about their parents’ dependency on them. And feeling like they can’t leave:
As one Twitter user put it, “Setting boundaries with Hispanic parents is so hard,” and… it’s true:
And being the eldest daughter? Well, the pressure is real:
So much so, some say being the oldest daughter was their fair “share of parenting” in their life — making them realize they don’t want kids:
Who else can relate?
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