Fierce

BREAKING: After Almost Thirty Years, A Tía Abuela Took The Plastic Off Of Her Chair And Twitter Is Sweating

In 2001, the Wall Street Journal wrote a piece about plastic slipcovers. The headline? Plastic Slipcovers Are the Clear Choice For Immigrants — and Trend-Setters. The piece examined the reasons why immigrants in particular use plastic slipcovers. Of course, as children of immigrants and immigrants ourselves, we don’t need A Wall Street Journal article from the early aughts to tell us why they come in handy. Furthermore, why they’ve proven to be a household essential amongst our families. For so many Latino households, slipcovers have been used as protective devices. Things to preserve our furniture for special occasions years and years down the line like if the President or Jesus ever come around. In short, the slipcovers only come off for very special occasions.

One abuela recently decided that she was done waiting for special occasions and stripped the covers off.

In a recent post to a user’s Twitter page, an abuela can be seen carefully doing away with a slipcover she’d been using for 30 years.

In a post to Twitter, a user known as @TheTaeWae shared a video of her great aunt peeling a very old and yellowed slipcover off of her fancy couch. “Y’all my great aunt took the plastic off of her chair for the first time in 30 some years,” she shared in the post.

The great abuela is not the only one pumped though. Users on Twitter cannot get enough of it.

Literally the video is the sweetest thing because the user’s great aunt is so clearly excited to have a chance to sit down on the fancy fabric of the chair.

Fans were super excited to see what the rest of this woman’s house looks likes.

And many users were eager to share cleaning tips to keep the sofa in shape.

Seriously, if you’ve got hot tips tell us in the comments below.

Because some Latinas are revealing that their own aunts and abuelas’ furniture looks like.

And we are here to cheer them on as they take them off.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Black Women Are Talking About The Stereotypes That Plague Them

Fierce

Black Women Are Talking About The Stereotypes That Plague Them

Probal Rashid / Getty

Doubly marginalized by their race and gender, Black women face so much of their lives combatting the stereotypes that anguish them. Worse, on a daily basis Black women are forced to find ways to thrive and succeed in their lives and careers by white-washing and invalidating their own identities.

Recently, women on Reddit shared the stereotypes that afflict them and it was pretty eye-opening.

Check this out below!

“The stereotype that our entire being is sassy and ghetto. Recently, I was at a friends for game night, we were playing Uno. I simply but jokingly was like “girl don’t look at my cards” and her entire family mimicked me but made it way more than it was like i had said “GURRRLLL DONT YOU BE LOOKIN AT MY CARDS” when that’s not how i said it… at all.” –y0aujani

“I hate the stereotype that we must want to be White if we don’t fit within the clearly defined list of actions and beliefs that society says black women are supposed to be (this stereotype is usually coming from other black people, which makes it sadder).

Oh look! That black woman dyed her hair a color that isn’t typically associated with black people. She clearly wishes she was White!

Oh my GOD. That black woman is dating a White guy. Doesn’t she know that she’s supposed to save herself for a black man?? She clearly wishes she was White.

Good Lord. That black woman likes country line dancing! This is humanity’s worst affront to nature! She clearly wishes she was White!

And so on. I mean, I get that “black” isn’t merely a skin color, it’s a culture. Doing things outside the customs of the culture can make it seem that we are ashamed of said culture. If I don’t like soul food, you can kind of see how that may come across as me looking down my nose at my own culture. But there has to be some kind of limit, where we can like different things and simultaneously have respect for our roots.

Do other cultures go through this? If a Scottish person doesn’t like haggis, are they given shit for not being ‘Scottish enough’?” –VintagePoet82

“My last name is Italian. I know this doesn’t come close to the crap you have to deal with on a daily basis, but admitting I don’t like tomatoes is usually met with “how do you call yourself an Italian?!” …Because that’s where my great grandfather is from?

My family still practices some cultural traditions that celebrate our heritage, but I HATE the idea of baskets delineated by racial stereotypes. People don’t fit in boxes. I’m not trying to be Jewish when I attend Hanukkah parties, I’m not trying to be Cuban when I dance salsa, I’m not trying to be Black when I braid my hair, I’m not trying to be white when I go skiing. I’m just trying to enjoy time with the people I love, and also manage these damn curls, wherever they came from.” C0USC0US

“This doesn’t happen since I moved, but happened a lot when I was a teen/young adult growing up in rural Pennsylvania. (By the way, on balance it’s a wonderful place. Like any rural area, you sometimes wish the people there were more worldly and educated than they are, but I still love Pennsyltucky.)

Anyhow, often times when it came up that I was (and still am) a huge hip-hop fan, someone would inevitably bring up that I was, ‘trying to be black.’ Or they would use an extremely derogatory slang word for a white person who is ‘acting black’ that I’m not going to repeat here.”- Langosta_9er

“I think that everyone in the world feels pressure to let go of their culture and fall into line with the Post-ww2 American consumerist canon. So the people remaining that wish to remain tied to their culture demonize those who embrace change (I’m not saying that the change is positive though).

In my case as an Indian you get pressure from both sides, if you’re too Indian you’re considered a luddite and might be given shit for not assimilating enough, but you might also get shit for not knowing some random shit about your culture depending on who you talk to. That’s just with 2nd gen immigrants though, it seems like 3rd gen are completely assimilated with just physical differences while 1st gen tend to go too much to the other side.

With black people there seems to be a movement for black pride and preserving the culture you’ve developed in spite of the constant pressure from the media and other white people to mix and assimilate into the new “neutral culture” and any form of “giving into that is seen as betrayal.

I used to be more towards assimilating and even wanting to be with white girls to “dilute my Indian genes” but now I’m starting to see how much I dislike the blandness of the “American” culture and part of me doesn’t want to assimilate as much anymore.

Do other cultures go through this? If a Scottish person doesn’t like haggis, are they given shit for not being “Scottish enough”?

I guess that’s where the “No true Scotsman” fallacy comes from.”- RagingSatyr

Had one dude claim I was rolling my eyes any time I looked at him. I’m very quiet by nature, and extra careful with my words and tone. We can literally not do a damn thing, have no reaction, but will still get accused of having a bad attitude. We are often just fucked, no matter what.” –Kemokiro

When you’re a black woman, you have to be strong, Super fucking Woman all the time but if you stand up for yourself, you’re an ‘angry black woman.’ But if you don’t uphold to strong stereotype and you any emotion other than strength like sadness, you’re weak and a black bitch with an attitude.” –beatlegirl95

“Idk where it was but awhile ago there was some post and in the picture there was a naked black girl and you could see her pubic mound (thehehe the phrase) . Comments starting pouring in like “omg wtf is that” “wow it’s just like a black hole isn’t it” “someone needs to get skin toner” so on and so forth. The only thing that gave me some hope is the highly upvoted comment along the lines of ‘ITT men and women who have never fucked or seen a black women naked’ Then it dawned on me; are black women so undesirable that a community, like Reddit ,that is seemingly obsessed with porn hasn’t even seen a black women naked, or is it just another way to put down women.” – mongoosedog12

“the angry black woman stereotype is by far the worst. you can never win with it i see people trashing black women and if i try to stand up for myself and other blacks people they claim i’m proving them right by having an attitude? i’ve literally seen where girls and latina girls act in the exact same manner, say the exact same thing and they are deemed as sexy while the black woman is ghetto and trashy.

people will legit interpret your actions to fit this stereotype like i’m an introverted person and people have said i was a bitch because i didn’t talk to them when another girl can do that and she’s just shy.

on multiple occasions i’ve looked in the general direction of an interracial couple (black man and other woman) and people said i was giving them dirty looks when i really do not care!

i also just hate the cognitive dissonance when it comes to the same thing with black men. most people would agree that it’s racist to generalize all black men saying they are all dead beat fathers, criminals, violent, etc but people seem to think it’s just a perfectly valid opinion to negatively generalize all black women. and it’s the worst when it comes from black men.” –woahwoahwoahwoa

“The fact that we are supposed to speak and act a certain way. The amount of times I’ve been called oreo just for the way I speak is disheartening. No, I’m not white on the inside thanks.” –moonscry

“What’s really annoying is when it comes from other black people. I had a cousin once say that I was so “white” that if I married a black man, my kids would come out biracial. These days, I try to treat it as a running joke because I see absolutely no reason to change myself to fit what “black” is supposed to be. I love Star Wars and video games and reading books by 19th century British women and dislike most rap music and I speak like any other educated person from the suburbs. This is who I am and people who believe that these things make me less black are the ones who have the problem.” –kaitco

“we can’t be beautiful.” –ajarndaniel

“When I was really new to dating and desperate for love/attention/a bf, I ended up ‘dating’ this white guy… He would mention how he watches a lot of interracial porn and how his ultimate fantasy was to rent a plantation in Georgia and for me to be his sex slave…. I wish I was kidding.” –Stitch_Rose

“The worst thing I’ve had is being told I’m “too white” cos of how I talk. I grew up in a mainly white area and had more contact with my white side of the family (although my black family aren’t stereotypically black anyway), so why would I? Why must anyone with black in them be stereotypically black, am I not just as much white as I am black?”- RJturtle

“Dehumanization. If they don’t look at you with the empathy to acknowledge your humanity, they can justify anything that is done to you.

I suppose that’s a black problem to have in general, but it hits women hard too.” –AliceHouse

“I’m angry. I’m sassy. I’m ghetto. I could be a thief. I’m loud. I’m unintelligent. I’m close minded. I’m spiritual. I’m “manly”.

The only one that’s true for me is that I’m loud lol. And my GOD I hate the, “Wow! You speak very nice. You’re eloquent”. That’s a backhanded compliment; they expected me to sound a certain way JUST because I’m black. =A=; The fuck dude.”- FantasticHamburguesa

“I’m not sure I can pinpoint this to a specific stereotype, but when interacting with my customers, I’m questioned a lot more than my white or male coworkers. I often have to take male coworkers with me to deal with belligerent restaurant owners who just will not listen to me. It’s the racism+sexism combo, and it sucks. I’m not dumb because I’m black. I’m not dumb because I’m a woman.

When customers talk back or are rude, I have to try extra hard to be nice to them because they’re more likely to report be for being rude and hostile. It’s just their perception and it sucks so much. Edit: Remembered another one! My baby sister was born when I was 12 going on 13. I developed early and this lady in Kohl’s cooed at my sister, which scared her, causing her to reach for me. The lady said ‘Aw look, she just wants her mommy’ and I was like… what? Who? Me? I’m 13. There’s a comic strip that shows the difference in how white and black women are treated, I wish I could find it.

It also had a panel about how it’s assumed black people go to college because we’re simply minorities and filling up seats. Nope, I earned my $22k/year scholarship, thanks.” –TheYellowRose

Parallax92

“You speak so well…”

“You have such a normal name”

“You’re not like one of THOSE black people”

“YOU play guitar?”

“Oh wow, I didn’t know black people like that kind of music”

“Oh your parents are still married?”

“You’re pretty for a black girl” –3 years ago

“I hate the stereotypical backhanded comments. The “You speak so well, where did you grow up?/ You talk white”, the “You’re so pretty for a black girl,” or the worst one “It’s okay, you’re not really black though.”

First of all, I don’t remember there being official perimeters for being black and if there are, I sure didn’t get the memo. Just because I’m not generally outspoken, I like nerdy/geeky shit, and I have a white fiancé does not mean in any way I’m less black.

I also really hate it because not only does that comment imply to be black is something to be ashamed of or something lesser, it also negates all the bullshit I’ve have to deal with on a daily basis. Like oh, well you don’t see me as “black” but the store attendant that followed me through the entire Sprint store because he assumed I was there to steal something sure thought I was black enough.

I hate that I can’t fight back against any of these comments because I’ll be labeled an “angry black woman”. Nothing is more frustrating than to have legitimate reasons to be upset but if your octave goes up even a little, everything you say is invalidated because you’re just “an angry black woman complaining about everything.” –Slightlydazed49

That I’m poor because I live on the south side of Chicago. I’m not smart & I look like I have a bad attitude/mean.

What’s so funny is, I was at a Walmart in Iowa, I was talking about all the places I’ve been to over the last 10 years and I was talking on the phone with my mom. Some white lady just kept looking at me in shock like….WOW. Then when I mentioned to having family in Toronto, Canada, her eyes got big as hell. Again, at Walmart, white woman clutching her purse….I go to pull out my wallet, just to fuck with her, , (oh and in my wallet, I have many credit cards, one of them is a beautiful platinum discover card), anyway she was looking shocked, like how did she get that.” –imtherealistonhere

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Women Are Giving People In Their 20s Advice On How To Get Their Derailed Lives Back On Track

Fierce

Women Are Giving People In Their 20s Advice On How To Get Their Derailed Lives Back On Track

Warner Bros. Pictures

If there’s one thing that your twenties will most definitely teach you, it’s that life is filled to the brim with ups and downs, highs and lows. More often than we’d like, in our lives we find ourselves digging ourselves out of the holes we’ve created for ourselves (be it personal, financial, or career-related). Fortunately, so much of our twenties are about building up our strength so that we can conquer the downs and lows of our lives.

Recently, women on Reddit got together and shared their tips for how to get back on track.

Check out some of the best bits of advice, below!

“Gain some perspective. Take a step back from any social media that you’re engrossed with. I’m not saying you are, but lots of us are so overly engaged with the media we consume it can become harmful to our own self-esteem. Focus on what you want to achieve in the short and medium term for yourself and appreciating the steps you take towards those goals. Focus on the short term. If this last year has taught us anything it’s that you can’t plan too far ahead.” –MillieGouLightly

“Yes, make short term goals that are attainable. Also shoot for a long term one, too. I was like this. I was letting life lead me. Then I took action and things improved. Anot her thing to note: the human brain doesn’t fully mature until around age 26. Cut yourself some slack.” –EddieAllenPoe

“Could not agree more on the social media part. I’m just in the stage of realising that mindless browsing could have so much affect on how we perceive ourself, which is why I’ve been taking detox days where I don’t check FB or Instagram and I must say I feel so much better by adopting a more realistic perspective on life. I would only use social media to do research on things that interest me, reading the news, getting advice on reddit and thats about it. I also try to read as much as I can because it gives me new ideas and its a mental exercise.” –SilkEmpire

Kind of related to the whole “people pleaser” thing, I really struggle with not putting so much stock in other people’s opinions (that I don’t necessarily agree with). For example, once you’re in your mid 20s, people on Reddit comment that “30 is around the corner” for you or that you’re “almost 30”. And when I point out how I don’t think that’s true (like you’re not “almost” any age til the very late part of that decade imo), I still see a couple of people coming in and go all, “well AKSHUALLY it’s technically true” (umm okay? but even if you think 5 years goes fast, it is still a substantial amount of time). Idk…but seeing comments like these makes me feel like I’m getting my time taken away from me. It feels like they trying to force you to feel older than you really are, or it’s almost like they are wishing away your time (cuz I notice it’s usually older people that make these comments). I find it pretty cruel to do, as I see no point in saying things like this to someone unless you wanna pressure them to conform to your timeline or make them feel bad.” –wahwahwhatodoooo

“How did you do this? I have realized for some years now that I have become a complete people pleaser, but I just can’t stop. It’s not that I don’t want to continue to be nice to people, but I do want to be able to communicate and enforce my boundaries. Also beeing a people pleaser makes me a boring and undefined character. So any tips on how to deconstruct this behaviour are appreciated.” –Vegetable_Scholar_11

“What if you are torn between doing something and not doing it? I want to quit my job so I can focus fully on school and myself, but I’m also worried it will harm me in the future even if it’s what I want and need right now. Do you just go with your gut and do what you feel like doing? Or do you consider how making that decision will affect you in the future, too? Especially if you burn bridges with the people you didn’t want to please and then it comes back to bite you.” –naanbud

“By realizing that not having the stereotypical “dream job isn’t everything” – as another commenter said, I realized how the income I do get, even if it’s not what I need or in a field that I find terribly interesting, allows me to pursue hobbies and interests on the weekends or in free time.

I also thought back ten years ago to my teens, and thought how worried I was then and, things worked out. I find that comforting that in another ten years, I’ll probably feel the same about doubts I have now.” –70378939272586Aa

“The career I wanted at 21 is not the same career I have or want at 32, or even 26. I’m with the same company I started with at 21, but since then have joined a department I didn’t even know existed when getting my college degree.” –jcollins88

“Yes this 100%. I try not to sink further in depression because the only jobs that will hire me are retail and food service but I’m working on pumping up my portfolio to get an art job. It seems like a long shot especially because the industry I’m trying to break into is competitive but I know my skills have improved a lot since college and I’m working on a bunch of new portfolio projects this year so hopefully that might land me a test or someone to notice me and maybe take a chance on me.”- carissadraws

“I thought this would be enough, but my boss called me this morning and I had to go home from the weekend I had planned to fix something (that was my fault, but I submitted it weeks ago without anyone complaining). I’d rather have a low stress job with reasonable hours and something im passionate about than a high-paying job with a corporate culture that sucks the life out of me.” –one_soup_snake

“Just a note of encouragement. Even though you may feel like you have zero achievements, I know a lot of very “successful” people in their 20s who feel just as lost. I think it’s just part of growing up and doesn’t have to do with what you’ve accomplished. Your achievements might not look like what society defines them as but I think that’s what your 20s is about. Realizing what others have previously told you is valuable, maybe isn’t, and not letting those things define you.” –HappyPuff-02

“I know the feeling, but in time you will realize how freaking young 22 is. Society tells us there is a prescribed path of milestones we have to follow to be successful, and that’s totally not true. I fucked around in college for too long and graduated way after my friends, and at the time it felt shitty. After finally graduating, I bartended for years. Just two months ago, I got a real job in my field and things feel like they are on track. Most of my friends have been in their careers for years. And that’s okay! Don’t let cultural timelines make you feel less than. Just take things a day at a time and try to map out what your own personal goals are. Good luck.”- PleasantRequest

“I was married in my 20s so that was a huge fucking waste of time. I left at 29 and began living the life I had hoped to live with him. I travelled, went to museums, hiking, etc. I just did it all. Then I found someone who loved doing those things as much as I did. Now we share this wanderlust together and even future dreams together. We’re having our first baby in august. It’s just another huge adventure and I wouldn’t want to share the journey with anyone else.” –TakethThyKnee

“First, it’s totally natural. Most people go through some sort of identity crisis in their mid 20s and it was very uncomfortable for me. You thought you knew how everything was going to play out and then you get to a point in your life that does not resemble what you were planning. That’s okay! I was mostly concerned about my career so I took a strength finders quiz that confirmed that I was in the right kind of job for me so then it was finding my space in that area. I looked at what I was doing in my life and what was actually making me happy and excited and what was a chore. This proved very hard cause I found joy in few things. (A few years later, I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and ADHD) It also was surprising cause I always thought I wanted to manage people and be the ever-sales person but turns out, I don’t enjoy most people and superficial relationships really bother me. So I pivoted toward what I do enjoy and that caused me to get a new job. It also caused me to evaluate my relationship and living situation. Obviously, it took time for leases to end to get my own place without roomies. My relationship I really tried to salvage and eventually it came to a breaking point. Though I’m single today, I’m much happier than I was then and that’s more important to me. (Also I make significantly more money cause it’s a lot easier to work hard at something you like to do) TL;DR – it’s okay, it happens to most people. Start evaluating what truly makes you happy, what you are good at and start making moves towards that. Results may seem much less exciting than what you thought your life would be but happiness is more important than razzle dazzle.” –youvegotmail90

“I really struggle with not putting so much stock in other people’s opinions (that I don’t necessarily agree with). For example, once you’re in your mid 20s, people on Reddit comment that “30 is around the corner” for you or that you’re “almost 30”. And when I point out how I don’t think that’s true (like you’re not “almost” any age til the very late part of that decade imo), I still see a couple of people coming in and go all, “well AKSHUALLY it’s technically true” (okay? but even if you think 5 years goes fast, it is still a substantial amount of time). Idk…but seeing comments like these makes me feel like I’m getting my time taken away from me. It feels like they trying to force you to feel older than you really are, or it’s almost like they are wishing away your time (cuz I notice it’s usually older people that make these comments). I find it pretty cruel to do, as I see no point in saying things like this to someone unless you wanna pressure them to conform to your timeline or make them feel bad.” –wahwahwhatodoooo

“What you said about you changing your job because you realised it didn’t actually feel right for you is really interesting! How did you become so conscious about what you really enjoy/not enjoy doing in your job? And how did you overcome the doubt that maybe changing jobs is the wrong thing to do? Sometimes I find out things about my self but then I doubt it and just think that I’m probably wrong.” –LaneJones2

“Lotssss of self love – Reminding myself that there is nothing that I NEED to have accomplished by now, and that the things I’m comparing myself to in my friends and peers are not actually the things that I strive towards. Remind myself that the latter half of my 20s and into my 30s will be so much more wise, responsible, financially stable and opportunistic. Started taking my mental health seriously, and am now I’m active treatment. Started FINALLY using social media to connect with my friends, rather than deleting/criticizing Instagram when I become overwhelmed by how much of a highlight reel it was. Also unfollowing/muting people who do not serve me online!!! (Huge). !!!Doing inner child work!!! Moved cities – luckily I was able to but not everyone is. Actively repairing relationships I’ve been avoiding for years. Started giving myself permission to sleep longer, got control of my substance misuse, and left two jobs I despised. Started setting boundaries with men to improve my self worth. Started seeking the advice of women who have powerful, intersectional, well rounded perspectives. Started truly embracing my femininity and working on my internalized misogyny. Became passionate about leftist politics. Started exploring my upbringing to see where I have room to grow from what my family taught me growing up. Started actually setting financial goals (credit score, savings acc), made a plan to go back to school, learned how to start asking for help and advice when my ego normally would’ve got in the way.

When I get overwhelmed by how daunting life is and how exhausting it is to feel so lost, I remember how many cities I can go be completely anonymous in. So many oceans to stick your feet in. So many beautiful faces to see all over the world – this gives me perspective and makes me want to continue pushing through this tough world.

I’m pulling myself out of a 3 year rut, and it’s not easy at all nor is it linear. It’s a lot of discomfort and doing things that might make you feel mean or boring, but it’s true acts of self love. It is incredibly humbling. Connect with people and learn their stories. Eat colourful food and start asking about other people’s lives instead of focusing so much on introspection (not suggesting you do, but I am constantly stuck in my own head).” –Catqueen45

“I’m 43 now and I feel like in the past year (lol my 2020 came with an extra plot twist), I am finally becoming the person I wanted to be. I still have a long way to go.

I wish that I figured it out sooner. But it is what it is.

So my advice:

  • if you are in a hole, stop digging. You may not know what else to do but stopping doing things that aren’t working/or are hurtful to yourself is a huge win
  • learn to trust yourself
  • you learn self-love by becoming more of producer rather than a consumer (producing : art, writing, learning, making stuff like cooking or knitting, experiences like hiking, meeting people and really connecting with them. Consuming : tv, social media, etc) it is not to say consumption is bad but too much isn’t going to move you in the right direction
  • it Is ok to change your mind
  • it is ok to make mistakes and fail : success isn’t about how high you go, but how high you bounce back after you fall
  • take care of your mind and body. In your 20s you can take a lot of punishment with lack of sleep, awful food, too much booze, not enough exercise etc. but blowing off self care will not help in the long run
  • figure out your values. This is morbid but it can help – imagine people taking about you once you’ve died. What do you wish they would say? That you were had hard working? Kind? Funny? Whatever it is try to be those things a little but every day.
  • the world never goes away, you can hide from the world, but it will always take you back when you are ready” –Coraline1599 

“I really struggle with not putting so much stock in other people’s opinions (that I don’t necessarily agree with). For example, once you’re in your mid 20s, people on Reddit comment that “30 is around the corner” for you or that you’re “almost 30”. And when I point out how I don’t think that’s true (like you’re not “almost” any age til the very late part of that decade imo), I still see a couple of people coming in and go all, “well AKSHUALLY it’s technically true” (okay? but even if you think 5 years goes fast, it is still a substantial amount of time). Idk…but seeing comments like these makes me feel like I’m getting my time taken away from me. It feels like they trying to force you to feel older than you really are, or it’s almost like they are wishing away your time (cuz I notice it’s usually older people that make these comments). I find it pretty cruel to do, as I see no point in saying things like this to someone unless you wanna pressure them to conform to your timeline or make them feel bad.” –wahwahwhatodoooo

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com