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People Are Sharing The Best Advice They’ve Received From A Therapist And It Just Might Help You With Your Quarantine Blues

Across the United States, millions of people are facing all kinds of pressures amidst the current ongoing pandemic. From job loss to economic pressures, Americans are finding themselves either faced with extreme stressors… or buckling beneath them.

What’s worse? While speaking with a mental health professional could help so many of these people, access to mental health resources aren’t always covered by health insurance companies. And if you don’t have health insurance it’s even harder to find.

It’s not a fix, or a susbtitute, but we scowered Reddit to find some of the best pieces of advice users had recieved from their own psychiatrists and therapists and they’re pretty enlightening.

Check out the pieces of advice below.

“Your time and energy are valuable and spendable just like money. You don’t go and blow all your hard earned bucks on things that are shitty and make you feel terrible, so stop blowing all your time and energy on people and things that are shitty and make you feel terrible.”- pickleschnitzel

“Treat yourself as you would treat a small child. Would you only give them fast food? Deprive them of sleep? Let them lay on the couch all day?” –TheGr34tGhastly

To stop making to do lists, and instead make ‘done’ lists. I burned out and I’d make extensive lists of things I had to to, because I thought ‘every time I cross something off that list, I will feel accomplished’. The problem was, I always overestimated what I was going to do so I ended up only doing a few things, and the half crossed list would make me feel unaccomplished. When I was halfway through the list, i’d think ‘uuuuugh, I’ve done so much already and I’m still not done!’. Now, at the end of every day, I make a list of the things I’ve done. I still keep track of what’s been going on, but I feel more accomplished. On some days I feel like I haven’t been productive, but then I write down what I did that day and I realized it wasn’t half bad. – Reddit user

“I struggle pretty badly with anxiety and I was having lots of thoughts about wanting to die. I wasn’t planning on doing anything, but I’d find myself wishing I’d just get in a car accident or something so that I wouldn’t have to continue living in pain. I felt so guilty for having those thoughts, but my therapist told me something that I’ll never forget. He said, “It doesn’t sound to me like you really want to die, but that you just don’t want to suffer. That is a perfectly human reaction to not want to suffer, so let’s work on some ways to minimize that.” Now any time I feel like I want to die, I just remind myself that I just don’t want to suffer, and it makes my thoughts so much less scary.” –ststustutter

“The best thing I learned from my therapist wasn’t anything she said, but how she acted. Never interrupted. Waited until I finished talking, and a good five seconds afterward to see if I thought up more to say. Usually she’d answer with a question, asking for clarification about one thing or another. When she gave advice, it was usually in the form, “I wonder if…” or “Have you heard of… Active listening is so powerful. It helps people come up with their own solutions, and think through their own problems. I never realized how much I interrupted people in conversation. It’s not that I didn’t listen to what they said before, but I kept trying to understand it at a glance, and offer my input immediately. Keeping quiet and just trying to understand has led to some great conversations with people.” –owrowfightthepandas

“You are in control of your life. Not your parents or friends or boss or the society. You may be shaped by them but you can’t live your life blaming them for everything and not doing anything to improve your situaiton.”- TheDudeWithNoName_

“You should not rely on other people for you to feel happy. You will only burden them with your problems and put your issues on them. Same goes for them. They should not rely on you to feel happy.” – Eventually_Melissa

“’So what if _____ happens?’ I was seeing a therapist for anxiety/depression and one of my stressors was worrying about failing a class. We talked about what would happen if I did fail and my realistic next steps. It was uncomfortable to think about but that kind of questioning still helps me today. This definitely wasn’t the only thing that helped me but I am now no longer on Lexapro!” – rainbowfountains

“I walked in and he asked me what I thought of the plant on the little side table he had. Its vines were hanging off the table curled up as if they were desperately reaching for the light that they were growing so far away from. It looked very sad to me and I painted him a very sad picture when I described it back to him. He looked at me and said good. ‘Do you know what I see? I see a plant I bought 3 years ago. One I didn’t know how to care for. One that died on me. But after I asked for advice and gave it what it needed, became the plant before you today. It is now green and thriving where it was once brown and withered away. It was dead, but with a little water and light from a lamp look at it now. It is alive again. It is all about perspective.’ That stuck with me. My outlook is still pretty bleak, but I think of that and I try to change my perspective to see the good and better in things. It’s hard. Hard as hell, especially being so accustomed to my ways, but it has helped me so much.” –LoveFromAFriend

“Just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true.” –alwaysknits

“’Raise the stakes.’ Meaning, take on a new responsibility in your life, even if there’s risk in failure. For me, the first step was adopting a dog – I immediately felt like “the stakes were raised” in my life, since I had this little creature who I loved and depended on me. I always wanted to get a dog, but was always anxious and nervous about not being able to take care of one properly… turns out, when you thrust yourself into a situation like that, more often than not, people will do the right thing and rise to the occasion.I think it kind of taps into the phenomenal human trait of adaptation, and I’ve tried to apply that to all areas of my life now, by adopting a ‘growth mindset.’ I’ve gone in to do pretty well so far in my career, got married, kids, house, etc. and have my depression pretty well under control now, and I think that basic idea of ‘raising the stakes’ in my life has been key.”- kiss_the_siamese_gun


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Latinas Share Why They Wanted To Teach Their Children Their Native Language

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Latinas Share Why They Wanted To Teach Their Children Their Native Language

Stephen Dunn / Getty

In a world with so much rising intersectionality and access to language tools, many still feel that passing along the traditions of their languages is necessary. Studies have shown for decades that children who grow up in an environment where they’re exposed to different languages have a pathway ahead of them that is full of promise. Particularly when it comes to education and career opportunities.

But why else do some parents find it essential to teach their children their family’s native languages?

Recently, we asked Latinas why learning their native language is important to them.

Check out the answer below!

“So they can be a voice for others in their community .” –_saryna_


“Besides the fact that bilingual kids use more of their brains. I’d like to teach my baby my native language so they can feel closer to our roots and be able to communicate/connect with our community not just in the US, but in Latin America too.” –shidume

“So that when the opportunity arises they can pursue their endeavors with nothing holding them back!” –candymtz13


“It not only helps them be multilingual, but also reminded them of their ancestry. Their roots. It builds a certain connection that cannot be broken.”-yeimi_herc


“So they can communicate with their grandparents, so they have double the opportunities growing up so they know their roots. So many reasons.”
elizabethm_herrera

“Know where you came from, being bilingual for more job opportunities later, being able to communicate with family members.”- panabori25

“I don’t have children but I think a language is tied to the culture. For me Spanish is a direct representation of how romantic and dramatic and over the top in the most beautiful way latin culture is. Also I’m Dominican and we just blend and make up words which really represents how crazy my family is.” –karenmarie15


“If I don’t and they lose ties to their people meaning my family who only speaks Spanish and Italian than I myself am harming them. As a preschool teacher I always tell parents English will happen eventually that’s the universal language but teach them their home home language the one that grandma/pa and the rest of the family speaks. They lose their identity. Sure they make up their own eventually but they must never forget where they come from.” –ta_ta1009


“So he doesn’t lose the connection to his grandmother and great grandfather who only speak spanish. So if he ever hears someone struggling to communicate he can help and feel a sense of pride in his roots/culture. 🇸🇻 plus 🤞🤞 I want him to pick up a 3rd language too!” –cardcrafted

“To give them more opportunities in life. I feel that some stories can only be told with authenticity when they’re in their native language. If you have the opportunity to do so, please do.” –titanyashigh

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Michelle Obama Recalled A Moment When Chicago Cops Accusing Her Brother Of Stealing His Own Bike When He Was Just 10

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Michelle Obama Recalled A Moment When Chicago Cops Accusing Her Brother Of Stealing His Own Bike When He Was Just 10

Paul Morigi / Getty

As most Black families in the United States know, growing up as a Black person is seen as a great threat in and of itself.

In a country where the rate of fatal police shootings among Black Americans is higher than that for any other ethnicity, it’s no wonder that this is true. Or, why learning to handle the police while Black is a lesson taught so prominently beneath the roofs of Black households.

In a recent episode of her podcast, Michelle Obama revealed that she and her brother Craig Robinson learned this lesson years ago in a confrontation with the police.

Speaking with her brother in her podcast, Obama recalled the day Robinson was accused of stealing his own bike.

Speaking with her brother, a former basketball coach, and her mother Marian Robinson about childhood and parenting, Obama brought up a moment in which Craig was stopped by a couple of police officers while riding his bike.

At the time, Robinson was about 10 or 11 years old and had been gifted the yellow ten-speed Goldblatt by his parents. While riding the bike, a police officer grabbed hold of it and refused to let go despite Craig’s pleas and protests that the bike was his.

“I was like ‘Oh, you got this all wrong, this is my bike. Don’t worry, this isn’t a stolen bike,’ and [the cop] would not believe me, and I was absolutely heartbroken. And I finally said to him, ‘Listen, you can take me to my house, and I will prove to you, this is my bike,” Robinson recalled.

Fortunately, Obama’s mother was home at the time and ushered Craig inside of the house, while she dealt with the police. As her son recalls, “she had that tight lip” as she confronted the officers who had accused her son of stealing his own bike.

Robinson revealed that she discovered the officers were friends with the people who had made the complaint about Craig stealing the bicycle and demanded they come to her house so that they could “admit [they] made a serious mistake.”

Robinson described the experience as a “heartbreaking” one at various times throughout the interview.

“I could tell [the cops] were trying to ask me questions that would trip me up,” he recalled. “If I wasn’t so sure that that bike was mine and showed any kind of reticence, I could see them taking me off to the police station, not calling mom until after I’ve been, you know, booked or whatever they do.”

At one point, Obama remarked that the story is particularly familiar with ones being experienced across the country, even today. “Nobody thinks about, you know, the fact that we all come from good families that are trying to teach values, but when you leave the safety of your home and go out into the street, where being Black is, is a crime in and of itself, we have all had to learn how to operate outside of our homes with a level of caution, and fear, because you never know,” she recalled

Obama’s mother also described the experience as being “part of a culture” among police.

“Because those two policemen were Black. And they were acting exactly the same as any other policeman,” her mother remarked. “It’s almost like, this is what they thought they were, how they were thought they were supposed to act.”

All three family members noted how the incident is so familiar today. Despite the fact that decades have passed. “That’s the perfect example of what all of these young, Black people are dealing with now, because this was, almost fifty years ago?” Craig Robinson said.

Listen to the clip from the podcast here.

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