Latina Sparks Debate About What It Means to Split Finances in Half in Relationships
Relationships can be tough. Many say that the right one won’t feel heavy, but they take a certain degree of effort. One element that most agree with is that communication is ultimately necessary.
Latina content creator Crystal Chavez understands the importance of communication. That’s why she shared a clip of a relationship question she found on Reddit that left her somewhat concerned.
The content creator has made it a habit of creating videos like this. In this video, she reads the story of a Reddit user experiencing a breakdown in communication with her fiance. In the post, the user shares how a financial hurdle and discussion turned her otherwise normal relationship on its head.
The relationship is put into question after the user’s fiance wants to divide home expenses 50/50
Shared to Reddit’s AITAH thread — also known as “Am I the A**h*le?” — u/ThrowRAdownsizing asks the internet if they think her solution to her fiance’s demands was unfair or unreasonable. Chavez, who is married, took to her TikTok profile to read the question and give her two cents on the topic.
She begins by reading, “My (26F) fiancé (26M) sat me down yesterday and gave me a long talk about how he feels like I don’t contribute enough to the household, particularly in the financial sense. I was a bit caught off guard by this, but was willing to hear him out since he wasn’t wrong.”
The prompt explains how the Reddit user’s fiance does make more money than her, but that bills are split accordingly. She clarified that he pays about 80% of the bills, which is why she had asked him what bills he wanted her to assume.
The user adds, “I asked what he wanted me to pay now, and he was adamant about it being 50/50.”
Chavez continues reading, “I honestly wouldn’t have gotten upset if there seemed like an actual reason behind it, but he just said he’d been thinking about it a lot, over and over, every time I asked what brought him to this conclusion, what was going on, and eventually he just said ‘this is how it’s going to be, take it or leave it.’”
The user suggested a complete revamp of their living situation and an overall downsizing of the way they went about things
Her solution was to downsize their lifestyle and cut expenses where they could, something she noted confused her fiance. She suggested selling their current home and living in a smaller place. Additionally, the user proposed a new food and entertainment budget and selling the Audi and Land Rover they used.
“Then I explained that date nights would probably have to be reduced too, and we could still do, like Buffalo Wild Wings or something, but I preferred Thursday nights because you get two orders of boneless wings for one. Basically, if he wants me to pay half, we’re living within my means, not his anymore,” Chavez continued reading.
The user explained how the fiance “kind of agreed to it” but that he became “angry” and uncooperative as she began the restructuring.
“He’s now saying that I’m being unfair and manipulative and that he tried to come to me with a serious concern about our relationship and I’m making it impossible for him to talk to me, and bulldozing over him,” Chavez reads on.
Chavez agrees with the user and her suggestions on how to fix the money situation in her relationship
When she’s done reading, Chavez ponders whether the fiance was trying to break up with the writer.
“Like if you want someone to do 50/50, date someone within your lifestyle,” the proud girl mom asserts.
The content creator adds, “She makes one million percent sense. I have no idea what’s wrong with him for that. I feel like if he’s wanting you to contribute half, then he really needs to reestablish what kind of lifestyle he wants the two of you guys to live.”
Chavez says she believes the fiance is trying to make the writer financially dependent. Or that he is looking to break up with her. Folks in her comments agree that something is amiss with him.
One commenter says, “The words ‘take it or leave it’ when he was talking to her would be why I left.”
“I think he has a 2nd girlfriend and wants more funds to spend on her,” another adds.
Others warn the writer to pick up her things and leave. Someone asserted, “Girl, take your Zillow and get an [apartment] for yourself and run!”
The user posted an update about her relationship with a confession from her fiance
After a barrage of Reddit advice and comments, u/ThrowRAdownsizing took some time to reflect. She then confronted her fiance about everything and decided to get to the root of the issue.
“On Tuesday, after I got home from work, I sort of just walked up to him on the elliptical and explained as calmly as I could that I had questions, and if he actually wanted to marry me, he needed to be willing to answer them,” she begins.
The Reddit user continued, “I asked if he thought I was a gold digger, yes or no. He said yes. I told him that I wasn’t willing to be in a relationship where I have to prove myself by sacrificing any sort of stability, and that led to a bit of a screaming match, and eventually, a confession.”
After a long conversation, she discovers they live above their means and are in debt.
“We are in serious credit card debt, the cars are both on the verge of being repossessed, and I did not know about any of this. He’s been cutting corners on actual necessities, including psychiatric medication,” she explains.
She adds that there was a combination of things that contributed to his bad mood. But, that he has apologized for it. She asserts that they are working on it and that she will be giving the relationship another shot.
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