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Women Are Opening Up On How To Address Postpartum Depression During The Lockdown

At some time or another everyone struggles with their mental health. These days, with the world in lockdown and so many of our human interactions limited, things can feel at best bleak and at worst a complete nightmare. This truth can be doubly true for women who are in the throes of a postpartum.

New mothers are facing a different type of difficulty when it comes to the after-effects of giving birth. Postpartum or postnatal depression affects one out of every 10 new mothers. According to the PANDAS (Pre and Post-Natal Depression Advice and Support organization, during the first week of the pandemic, there was a 75% increase in calls to its helpline, underlining the fact that new mothers need support more than ever.

We asked women for advice on how to cope with Postnatal depression and found some enlightening answers. Check them out below!

“We must be more open to being supportive instead of telling us things like “querías niños no??”. ” This is what u signed up for”. I never received the support from family and when shit finally hit the fan I was judged for my extreme actions. My attempts and self harm were seen as attention seeking.” –flor___venenosa

“This is so cultural. I am so sorry you went through this. It’s no wonder we don’t seek help, we are ridiculed for it.”- mrs_tori_rose@flor___venenosa 

“I think I had PPD when I talked to my mom about it she brushed it off and til this when she brings it up in front of others saying, “I thought she didn’t love her daughter. She kept crying and saying how hard it was. It’s not hard I really thought you didn’t want your daughter.” It is so hurtful every time she makes those comments and really makes me angry. Because it’s not that I didn’t love my baby I was having a hard time adjusting to motherhood. I need to figure out a way to tell to stop saying or making those comments because they aren’t helpful. For me it lasted for about a year. It got better as time went on. I was scared to talk to my doctor about it and was never on medication or anything.” –poncigue

“Did you know even when women finally speak up and say I THINK I HAVE POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION THAT THERES IS NO REAL HELP? You can google all you want and call all the hotlines you want but if you don’t have insurance- you are getting much help.” –90dayfrump

“I did after my daughter was born. I couldn’t figure out why I was so angry & sad when it should’ve been one of the happiest times in my life. This lasted for about a year & half for me.” –dee_mahree

“It would have been so helpful to have known this. My first year of motherhood was so challenging; I had no idea how depressed I was until I went to therapy.” –gg_luv

“I had PPD after my three pregnancies. During the third one I also had perinatal depression which is even less talked about. Like a lot of mental health issues I think it’s hard for people to understand especially when you are expected to be happy all the time because you have a bebé.” –piraguadeframbuesa

“I can believe this because I had postpartum depression with my first pregnancy for 9 months.” –mjtobeone

“Generational healing together.” –cynthiarey_jefa

“More post like this please!”- stephreyesfig

“I was just talking about this last night on how I didn’t get any help from anyone around me I still had to do everything! And I would forget to eat! To feed my new born baby I was detached and I would scream and I hit my 3yr old and still crying right now because my family still tries to throw it in my face that I was a bad mom! I said with people like you around me yes now I regret not leaving when I could I probably would of been better off for my kids and especially for my self I hardly smile now, I’m bitter, I try to make things better but I can’t take back what I did.” –ambelly11212

“I think I had both.” –claudia_renee@rrsls10 

“do you follow this page? If not, you should.. and get yourself highlighted here!” –nicleff@lescarbajalxo 

“*nuestro poder*” – florycantoacademy@fiercebymitu

“I ‘m still surprise on how I made so much profit after seeing many people complains of being scammed this is just amazing am still shocked thanks.” –investor_with_johnw22

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New York City Will Try to Answer Mental Health Calls With Crisis Workers Instead of Police Officers

Things That Matter

New York City Will Try to Answer Mental Health Calls With Crisis Workers Instead of Police Officers

Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

It looks like New York City is taking a much-needed step forward in the area of police reform. Last Tuesday, New York City Mayor Bill DeBlasio and his wife, Chirlane McCray, announced a brand new pilot program in which mental health crisis workers, instead of police, will be dispatched in response to non-violent mental health calls.

“For the first time in our city’s history, health responders will be the default responders for a person in crisis, making sure those struggling with mental illness receive the help they need,” said Mayor Bill de Blasio in a statement.

According to CNN, New York City received over 170,000 mental health-related calls in 2019.

That is roughly one call every three minutes. Police officers respond to every one of those calls–regardless if there is a threat of violence.

DeBlasio’s statement explained that police officers would accompany mental health workers if there was any threat of violence. The program, which is set to begin in February, will be tested out in two unidentified “high-need” neighborhoods.

The pilot program is in response to near-universal calls for police reform that raised to a fever pitch in the wake of George Floyd’s death at the hands of police.

Advocates of police reform argue that American police are over-militarized and tend to escalate conflict instead of de-escalating. This can be particularly frustrating in the cases of people with mental health problems, who often need a doctor more than they need a police officer.

“Treating mental-health crises as mental-health challenges and not public safety ones is the modern and more appropriate approach,” wrote McCray in a press release. “That is because most individuals with psychiatric concerns are much more likely to be victims or harm themselves than others.’’

Ideally, a program like this will encourage families to no longer be afraid of calling emergency services if a loved one is having a mental health crisis. No one should be afraid of losing their life when they call 911 for help.

The general response to this new experiment was that of both optimism and skepticism.

One former police officer told CNN that the program had promise, but he was worried for situations when a mentally ill person “turns on a dime” and becomes violent with little provocation.

This person pointed out that mental health pros have better training at de-escalating situations.

Unfortunately, police officers don’t have the robust training in handling mentally ill people as social workers and crisis workers do.

This person is glad that the police will still be an option if back-up is needed:

We’ve heard one too many stories about disabled or mentally ill children and/or adults being violently dealt with by police officers. This program sounds like it could be a stepping stone.

This person made an interesting point about “defunding the police” vs “funding social services”

Sometimes, something as simple as changing semantics can make all the difference. We should be re-routing funds to make people safer, not to further militarize the police.

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A Gay Single Father Of 3 Is Using TikTok To Share His Family’s Love With The World

Culture

A Gay Single Father Of 3 Is Using TikTok To Share His Family’s Love With The World

nycgaydad / Instagram

Living as a single parent is a tough situation in the best of times. During the time of Covid, it can create a completely different set of issues. José Rólon is showcasing life as a single gay father to three kids on Instagram and TikTok.

José Rólon is a single father in New York City and he’s celebrating his family on social media.

Rólon’s husband, Tim Merrell, died tragically in December 2013 of a heart attack while on a business trip. At the time, the couple had a young son and a surrogate who was 11 weeks pregnant. Rólon recalls that they had just taken a trip to Georgia for a medical follow-up with the surrogate.

“On top of the heavy grieving I then only had a week to follow through the pregnancy or not because at 12 weeks you can’t make the decision to abort. I think at the beginning, those first several days I was pretty clear that I was going to abort because I think there was just no way that I could raise three kid son my own,” Rólon recalls. “But, on the sixth day, which not only happened to be the last day to make the decision, but it happened to be my husband’s funeral service and burial, I woke up that day and realized that my son just lost his father and what if something were to happen to me. I didn’t want to leave him alone in this world and so I decided that day that I was going to follow through the pregnancy.”

Rólon adds: “I announced that we were pregnant while giving Tim’s eulogy in the church. Nobody knew that we were pregnant yet so you can just imagine the audible gasp that came from that.”

He has been documenting his life with the children in quarantine and it has been wonderful to watch.

Like other parents, Rólon is wearing so many hats with his children in quarantine. Not only is he still a single father, he has had to become an educator as well. He also became a social media sensation thanks to his children and his own need for release.

Rólon thinks that his social media presence is breaking down barriers and creating a chance for people to relate to him. Despite his sexuality and being someone of color, Rólon sees his dad content as something most parents will relate to.

One of the first videos to go viral was with one of his daughters massaging his hair as he works.

@nycgaydad

CLIENTS: How can you work and possibly be productive with three kids at home? ME… #coronavirus #homeschooling #parenting #gaydads #lgbtfamily

♬ original sound – Jose Rolon

“I think that it’s those types of relatable videos that resonated, but I think also that there hasn’t been much of a voice in this medium from a gay parent, a gay father,” Rólon says. “Even though we have been raising kids for a long time I do think that we’re still very much in the forefront of this movement of the LGBTQ+ community raising children. It has gone from something that is rare to something that has become more common.”

How many parents out there can relate? We have seen videos and photos all over social media that show parents doing the best they can to work from home with the kids. A lot of the videos remind us of the greatest benefit of working from home: family. Parents around the U.S. have relearned the joys of spending more time with family and less time in the office.

Social media was a way for Rólon to have an outlet when dating stopped due to Covid.

The dad knew how to juggle raising his family as well as enjoying some nights out. It was his way to recharge and come back as Super Dad. However, Covid changed all of that. Suddenly, staying home was the best thing he could do to take care of his children and keep them healthy.

“The scripted response around the attention we’ve been getting around TikTok is because I’m a gay dad who does play sports orally instruments or is good at arts and crafts. But the reality is that I just wasn’t getting laid,” Rólon admits while laughing. “That was my outlet. For me, whenever the kids were driving me crazy, the way that I was able to rejuvenate was by going out on a date or possibly having an intimate evening with somebody and then I could come back and be Super Dad. That wasn’t happening so, for me, I just need to put those creative juices elsewhere. That’s what I started creating those TikTok videos and from there, once they started going viral, people started paying attention and that’s kind of where we’ve been.”

Rólon’s TikTok videos are a wonderful look into a modern family.

There is so much love and happiness on Rólon’s social media pages. He is devoted to his children and their unity is heartwarming. You can follow Rólon on TikTok and Instagram under @nycgaydad to see his family grow and change on a daily basis.

READ: A Single Mom On DACA Is One Of The Newest Cast Members On MTV’s New Season Of ‘The Real World

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