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Women Are Opening Up About The Things We Wish Men Knew About Our Lives

It’s not every day we get to open ourselves up enough to others to have them pick our brains. When it comes to sharing our experiences with the opposite sex this truth goes double. After all, so many in the world believe its a man’s world. And while this reality might make it more accessible for us as women to imagine what men go through, surely men know very little about what it’s like to walk in our skin.

A Reddit post is giving women a chance to give men a slight glimpse in what’s it like to be a woman, check out some enlightening experiences below.

Wearing makeup to look professional.

“The expectation of wearing makeup to look professional. If you were to wear a professional outfit, say, a pantsuit or a nice dress, it appears incomplete without makeup or hair done. Natural curly hair is also viewed as unprofessional. Women have to invest so much more time into their appearance just to appear ‘professional.'”- dividebyzero9

Being polite to live.

“Being polite to douchebags as a survival tool.”- noiseferatu

The sexual innuendos at a young age.

“Having adult men make sexual comments to you as a child. I have been followed and heckled by men when travelling to and from school, in my school uniform. Strangely I don’t get it now as an adult, but wtf as a 13 year old I could not walk past a white van or building site without comments. Legitimate opinions, annoyances and concerns are dismissed as ‘being emotional’. Yet when men get angry or moody no one questions it.” – mmlemony

Life at work.

“The expectation that I, as a mother, have a greater parental responsibility. Allow me to give a few examples. First, if being a parent comes up in any work-environment, my ability to “balance” work and home is a topic of conversation. ALWAYS. I have witnessed the promotion of men over more qualified women of child-baring age because of concerns about work/life balance. I wish I could say this was once or twice, but I have dozens and dozens of examples to pick from. I have been flat out asked about my reproductive plans during interviews. My husband has never had conversations that resemble this at all. Second,if I am ever somewhere without my child, I am asked where my kid is. She’s at home- with her father! When there is a school issue, I’m always called first. I was actually called during work hours because I didn’t attend a school event in “honor” of mothers day. My husband did not receive a call when he couldn’t make it to the fathers day event at the same school. This is equally a slight against my husband, because he is often left out of interactions that involve our child when there is an equal chance that he would be the one who would be involved with planning and executing stuff for our child. He once called out of work because our child was ill, and he was directly asked where her mother was. He was just as offended as I was ( I married well!). He gets looked at strangely for sitting next to a playground, that he is at with our child!” – papillon24

Being considered unattractive because you’re aging.

“I’m a 43-year-old woman. The expectation of looking good…for my age is incredible. If I don’t look at least 5 years younger it’s like I failed something.
“Yeah but this actress or that model looks so good and she’s your age.” If I had a team of skin/hair/makeup specialists and was working full time on myself I would look great too.” – sonia72quebec

Men believing you’re incapable to even buy a car.

“Came here for this. When I went to buy my car, the car salesman goes, “Where’s your boyfriend? Working today?” I had not told him I had one, but of course that was the ONLY way poor little old me could be doing the actual purchasing of a vehicle. Which I proceeded to do, in cash, outright, with my own money that I had made. And then same thing when I’ve been looking for mechanics. Seems like even the most highly reviewed places have a slew of comments from women explaining how they tried to screw them over because they were a woman. It’s fucked.” – shopadope

Feeling uncomfortable about swimming.

“I don’t usually feel I can “just go swimming”. I need to shave, check time of the month, and feel comfortable in my own skin, which tends to prevent the snap decisions of “Let’s go swimming” I enjoyed as a kid.” – PintsizedPachyderm

The ongoing harassment.

“Being constantly harassed. Random dudes messaging me on social media offering sex just out of the blue. Business clients trying to get my personal contacts, finding me on Facebook. Couch trying to convince me I need ‘personal’ sessions which meant me staying after the hours in empty class with him, which I declined of course. Etc, etc. And I am not even pretty! I can only imagine what pretty girls go through.” – nicolaspussin

That feeling that adventures are limited.

“It’s unrealistic to think that all women will have the same ideas about what’s hard. But mine might be… My adventures are limited because of my gender. There are more things I shouldn’t do, and places in the world I shouldn’t go, than there are for men, because as a solo female traveler or adventurer, it’s not advisable. That kinda sucks. *Also: I have common sense. I am smart. My emotions sometimes overrule this. I am embarrassed but it’s part of who I am. Just know this and help me laugh about it. Don’t make me feel bad about it.” –Whoneedsyou

That our gender has everything to do with the quality of our work.

“Having virtually everything one does be preceded by the fact you’re a woman. Example: You’re not a programmer, you’re a female programmer. Certain women find benefits in accepting this sort of labeling, but it exists whether you like it or not. My gender has nothing to do with the quality of my work. It actually has very little to do with anything. Also, being comparable to other women – but this is something I feel is experienced by everyone in varying degrees. What another woman does/says to you has nothing to do with me; I shouldn’t have to answer for it. Women are humans and humans are different from one another. Everyone just relax. EDIT – Oi, quit flooding my inbox with the “Male Nurse” comparison. I understand. It happens to everyone, as I said originally. I only meant to point out that it happens to women quite often, and the distinction between “female” and “male” is unnecessary altogether when talking about occupation, for example. This goes beyond a minor annoyance when you consider how prevalent sexism is in many fields.” – logician-magician

It’s your fault you don’t want to bone.

“You’re a bitch for “friend-zoning” him and leading him on, when you never demonstrated romantic interest in the first place.” – goldstartup

The fear of being vulnerable.

“Men are assumed to be competent until they prove that they aren’t; women are assumed to be incompetent until they prove that they are. It’s really tough to get past that barrier in a lot of places, especially the workforce or in fields that are not traditionally ‘feminine’. Being afraid just to exist out in the world is another thing. There is just this constant undercurrent of fear that we all have, especially at night, especially alone. The feeling of vulnerability is just so hard to explain to someone who has never experienced it.” – Reddit user

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Justice Amy Coney Barrett Just Issued Her First Opinion In Abortion Case And Cast Doubt On Future Of Roe V. Wade

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Justice Amy Coney Barrett Just Issued Her First Opinion In Abortion Case And Cast Doubt On Future Of Roe V. Wade

Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images

It was no secret that if the Republican Party and Donald Trump got their way with the Supreme Court, that women’s health and reproductive rights would be under attack. Well, Trump installed his new justice, Amy Coney Barrett, to the court in November and she’s just issued her first opinion in a case related to access to abortion.

Amy Coney Barrett handed a victory to the White House and Conservatives regarding abortion.

Since taking her seat on the Supreme Court in November, Justice Coney Barretts’ opinions have escaped much scrutiny. However, her latest opinion in an abortion-related case is drawing scrutiny from both the left and the right for clues of how she might rule in the future.

The decision, issued despite objection from the court’s more liberal judges, reinstates a requirement for patients to pick up the drug, mifepristone, in person. Three lower courts had blocked the Food and Drug Administration’s in-person pick-up requirement for mifepristone during the coronavirus pandemic, citing the risks of contracting COVID-19 at a doctor’s office or a hospital.

Julia Kaye, staff attorney at the American Civil Liberties Union Reproductive Freedom Project, called the court’s decision “chilling” and one that “needlessly” endangers “even more people during this dark pandemic winter.”

In an interview with NPR, she added that people of color, like Black and Latinx patients, are at particular risk for health risks posed by COVID-19. Requiring them to go to a doctor’s office in person to pick up the drug threatens the health and lives of those patients, she said.

It’s the first abortion-related decision since last year’s swearing in of Justice Amy Coney Barrett, whose presence on the high court bench ensured a new conservative majority. Abortion-rights advocates have been fearful of what a conservative majority could do to chip away at legal protections for abortion.

On the surface, this week’s abortion ruling is fairly minor but it has many women worried.

Credit: Phil Walter / Getty Images

In its ruling, the Court didn’t release a majority opinion, which means that the case doesn’t explicitly change existing legal doctrine. And the case concerns a policy that the Biden administration could likely reverse after President-elect Joe Biden takes office.

But, when you read between the lines, the case – FDA v. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists – warns of a dark future for abortion rights and women’s health.

The premise of pro-abortion rights decisions like Roe v. Wade (1973) is that the Constitution provides special protection to the right to an abortion that it doesn’t provide to other elective medical procedures. Yet, as Justice Sonia Sotomayor explains in dissent, American College effectively rules that a commonly used abortion drug may be regulated more harshly than any other legal medication.

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Women Share The Moments They Regreted Staying Silent In Uncomfortable Situations

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Women Share The Moments They Regreted Staying Silent In Uncomfortable Situations

Ponomariova_Maria /Getty

Sexual harassment and assault of women is rampant across every country, culture, workplace, and industry. Sadly, it’s common for women to have to endure harassment and for comfort sake’s or a desire to remain safe, stay quiet. Recently, women on Twitter shared what it’s like to have to be quiet in uncomfortable situations they realize are harmful or unsafe.

 *Trigger Warning: the stories in this piece deal with sexual harassment and assault.*

They’re also sharing their personal, horrifying stories.

Check them out below.

“This is a terrible feeling. A couple years ago I went into a neurologist’s office for an EEG, which involved attaching dozens of electrodes to my scalp. The tech who was attaching them told me how silky my hair was. Began asking me questions about whether I was single, if I ever planned to have kids. Later, he asked me my weight. Told me I was too thin (I had a BMI of 22-23) and that men liked women with more weight on them. I was 33 years old, and for the first time in my life—after growing up in a highly abusive, silencing household—I spoke up. Told him how unprofessional he was being, and that I would file a complaint. He said, ‘Do what you need to do.’ And then I did. I filed that goddamn complaint with shaking hands. It felt awful and uncomfortable and I have no regrets about doing it. I hope it made a difference.” –ennovahs

“This is the worst part of being a victim. The urge to make it go away, you want to believe if you move on, you can’t be upset by it. But it doesn’t work like that, it just hits the snooze button. Enough shitty moments like that and your jenga tower comes down and you turn into a salty bitter person that loses faith in humanity and it’s so much harder to heal from later than if you do something and process it now, enforce your boundaries now. It also like, primes you to let it happen again the next time. You let this one slide, and then someone else does something else inappropriate later and it’s like “where do I draw the line? I didn’t say something that other time”. And then when you finally reach the limit, all the other times you let people violate your boundaries without saying something haunt you and you can’t tell if it’s your fault or theirs Take care of yourself by honoring and enforcing your own boundaries. Don’t create additional pain you’ll have to heal from later with your own self-betrayal. You are worth the effort it takes to file a report, even when it’s exhausting. Is there a way you could offer to help her file? Like figuring out how to do it and helping her fill it out? If she says no, that’s her right. But I feel like so often we get betrayed twice, once by others and once by ourselves.” –valicat

“I got felt up by my masseuse and then he asked for my phone number. I just froze said I have a boyfriend and went to pay. Later I was telling my friend about it in a haha can you believe that happened and my friend looked at me all serious and said, so you were sexually assaulted, tipped him for it then want to laugh about it. I started crying and then went through the hell of having to report him and getting his license revoked.” –pulchritudinousss

“We should complain, though. For our sisters. My company offered an in-house massage therapist. Nothing like saving up coffee breaks for a proper massage! But he was … personal without being sleezy, like, “Nice breasts for a woman your age” said in a neutral tone of voice. He also liked to be rough when massaging. I like a hard massage, but the other stuff wasn’t right. When he offered to give me massages as his private office (elsewhere in town), my gut instinct kicked in and I said no, and I also stopped seeing him at work. A month later, he was gone. Somebody else had complained. I was disappointed in myself for not speaking up. I hadn’t overreacted about him and it wasn’t just me.”-ThinkbigShrinktofit

“As a woman who kept quiet when people did or said things to me that made me uncomfortable until I was in my 40s (all in the name of avoiding confrontation, not upsetting the other person, wanting to be liked, etc.), it took one really bad experience to finally realize that enough was enough. People are going to be shitty and there isn’t anything I can do that will change how shitty of a person they are. But, I can actually start telling them how unacceptable their behavior is and if it continues to happen, remove them from my life. It’s been rough, trying to speak up when warranted. Sometimes, I come off as pretty harsh. But, people are starting to realize that I’m not going to allow that type of behavior anymore. It has cost me some ‘friendships’ but my life is actually much better off without them in it.” –idreamofgin

“Speaking from experience, I can understand your friend not wanting to do anything. I was getting a physical for the military. The last person I see is this old guy. We are told to strip down to our underwear. This guy is asking all these medical questions, poking and touching. Turn your head and cough stuff. I can’t remember how, but at some point he called me cutie. I later said something to the military person running the facility and it turned into an investigation into me. After being repeatedly told my entry would be delayed, but if I withdrew my “comment” I could ship for basic training. My experience is nothing compared with what a lot of what women go through in similar situations. Every time I hear of a rape, I think about how much more horrible it would be. Any woman that comes forward and presses charges is braver than I ever could be.” –Barbuckles

“Went to take my husband to work and the man at the check station pointed out my tongue ring and made vaguely sexual statements about it like how I ‘must be fun.’ Insanely inappropriate. I was a little bitch so I cried when I got home. I did report him but he still worked there through the season.”-hattallb1tch

Uncomfortable Situations
Five women of different nationalities and cultures standing together. Friendship poster, the union of feminists or sisterhood. The concept of gender equality and of the female empowerment movement.

“I had a similar experience. I’d been having intense lower abdominal/pelvis pains and went to get an ultrasound because my doctor was concerned. Went to the place and the guy was being super rough with the thing, and it hurt. I let out a gasp of pain because it had been painful even without someone mashing an ultrasound thingy right in the painful spot, like it felt like someone just stabbed me; and he just laughed and said ‘Don’t get so excited, I haven’t gone that low down yet.’ and winked. Turned my stomach. Like, okay I am no longer comfortable being in a room alone with you, with your hands at hip level. But he seemed so comfortable making such an inappropriate joke that it’s like… this shithead probably gets away with doing it all the time. My boyfriend was furious and just couldn’t understand why I was apathetic about it. It’s something you get used to. Those casual threatening sexual jokes.”- cinnamonbrook

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