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Women Are Talking About The First Time They Experienced Sexual Harassment And We Should All Be Disgusted

There’s no doubt that sexual harassment can have quite an impact on a victim.

In 2014, a research study surveyed 17,335 female victims of sexual assault who said in the most serious experiences of sexual assault that they had endured many felt emotions such as “anger, annoyance, and embarrassment.” A terrible thought considering that the people who inflict these feelings often walk away from the experience without so much as a second thought.

Women on Reddit have spoken about these experiences that have affected them for decades.

Here they are below.

“I was 7 when some weird-ass guy wanted me to show him the girl’s changing room at the swimming pool. Luckily I had the common sense to go looking for my teacher. I was 11 when the ‘normal’ harassment started with guys twice to thrice my age tried to hit me up and go out with me. The very first guy I remember trying to chat me up in the bus tried to convince me to tell him I was 18, when it finally sank in that I wasn’t lying when I said I was 11, he had the graciousness to go completely white in his face and flee the bus at the next stop. I was 13 when a guy at the bus stop tried to convince me to go on a love-week-end to Paris with him. He was easily 40.” –BerriesAndMe

“Why are there so many perverted men out there??? Every single one of my friends has these crazy stories starting from like eight years old.”- kisscuddle

“13 or 14. Guy in his early 20’s comes to me, asks if I’m a virgin because he only dates virgins. Me being a shy timid person just stared at him and couldn’t form any reply. Just froze on the spot.” –Countess_Yiffy

“All these stories start when girls turn 12-14, and that is so sad.

Most of us didn’t feel “sexy” at this age. What is more, some girls don’t know what is “sexy” is. More, 12 years old girls feel shy about their bodies: their breasts start growing (to be honest, it’s painful), and the first period can be a shock. It’s a very delicate and susceptible part of a women’s life.

And these jerks think they have privilege says how attractive we are —making us feel that we are dirty and it’s our fault. Hate it.” –Jan_Levinsson

“I was 5. Was standing on jungle gym on the playground And an older boy came up to me and grabbed my spandex and underwear and stretched out my underwear and looked at my privates. I did not know how to use my voice or stand up for myself. I climbed off the jungle gym and sat under it and cried. I remember feeling so embarrassed and violated. I never told anyone. Just remembered that and will probably talk to my therapist about it.” –siennasolo

“I was 12, at a BBQ my parents were having. I was in a bathing suit because we had a pool. A friend of a friend of my dads said he’d like to leave his wife there and take me home instead. I didn’t say anything because I was so ashamed. I put clothes on and stayed in my room the rest of the party – even though an adult overheard him and he was forced to leave.” – sassylittlespoon

“I remember when I was 9 or 10 I went to the beach with a new two-piece swimsuit that I was super happy to wear because it had sparkles and made me look like a mermaid. It was one of those where the bottom part had a skirt attached so I liked to twirl to see the skirt twirl. Some dude went “Do that again, sweetheart!” and then whistles and said something about “legs for days” I remember being really embarrassed and ashamed and didn’t want to tell anyone because my parents would make it a big deal, and then it would be my fault for ruining the beach day for my brothers.

I didn’t wear the swimsuit in public ever again.” –gentlybeepingheart

“At 12, playing in the pool. A man probably in his 40s/50s kept staring at me intensely and made a comment like, “Wow, look at how hot that girl is!” My mom overheard and immediately said, “That’s my daughter and she’s fucking 12, what is wrong with you?!” I don’t remember what happened next. But I’ll never forget the way that man looked at me, and how my stomach dropped to my feet and my face burned. I felt so ashamed.” –offendingpastry

“About 12. On my period, looking and feeling like Shyte. Simply walking home from the shops. Was wearing jeans and an oversized T-shirt. This asshole and his late 20-something year old friends start hooting their car, and hanging out the windows while catcalling me. Ignore it. When they suddenly come around again and drive slowly past me and they keep saying how sexy they think I am. I had a moment where I though “ oh god this is how people end up getting kidnapped. There are four of them, and one of me. Even if I run I won’t make it very far.” I started walking faster, and eventually, I assume that they got bored, and sped off. I basically ran home. I have similar incidents but this was the one that came to mind first.” –indigoshaman

“I had one instance last year, I was out for a run, it was dark but I always ran in a safe small neighborhood. A pickup truck drives by and I hear the driver say something then all of a sudden the truck came to a halt and just sat in the street waiting for me to catch up. I saw what was going to happen so I stopped on the sidewalk a bit way back and hid in the shadow of a tree until the truck finally drove away. And they were mad cos they squealed their tires and everything. I’m glad I stopped. I was so scared of what could’ve happened, I ran so fast home and stopped running for a bit because of it.” –APainInWomensClothes

“Mine was also at 12 years old. I was walking home from school, wearing normal jeans and a t-shirt. [I hate that I feel the need to explain what I was wearing]. A truck slowed down to keep pace with me, and a man yelled, “I’d like to bend your ass over the hood of my truck!” Another man laughed from inside the truck. I didn’t quite understand what that meant, but I figured it must be a pervert thing. I got scared they might try to grab me, so I ran into some random person’s backyard, since I figured they couldn’t drive through there. I told my dad what happened, and he was furious.” –TheOtherZebra

“I was 7. I had this beautiful dress that had a full circle skirt and I spun around in it because how can you not when you’re 7 and you love your dress?

My uncle’s friend(M, 50s) was there and he told me to spin again because he could see my underwear. I remember just feeling so gross and afraid. I told my mom and she was livid. We left and I was never allowed near that man.

I also couldn’t wear that dress afterwards without thinking about how that incident made me feel. It definitely took a little bit of my innocence away.” –

seeseecinnamon

“When I was seven I was walking by some older kids (early college) at a pool. I was adjusting my swim suit straps by sticking my fingers under them and lifting them up, so you could see skin but not in my top. I remember one of the girls went really loudly “OoOoO showing off for the boys” and the boys started whistling and jeering. I was so uncomfortable and embarrassed I hid behind some pool hosing until my mom came to get me (she left me at the pool at the YMCA while she pretended to work out for two hours).” –retroverted_uterus

“That happened to me this year, I’m 25. I was on the bus on the way to church and a man sexually harassed me. He included crude comments about the pattern on my dress. It broke my heart.” –MaroneyOnAWindyDay

“My dad told me not to eat bananas like a whore when I was 11-12. I was very confused and didn’t make the association with bananas looking like dicks until many many years later.” –Idk_whats_real

“I was 9 or 10 and a neighbor kid (7 or 8M) grabbed my ass one day while I was out playing kickball with the other neighbor kids. I didn’t know what to do so I just went inside. Didn’t even finish my turn. Did what I could to avoid him until we ended up in school again. Looking back, hate how young this happened at on both our ends. About the same age, one of my dads friends made a comment about my chest and how much I looked like a boy and how he couldn’t wait to see what I looked like in a few years. Again, just avoided him after that. On a much better note, I (27F) recently have found myself managing a bar where it’s all regulars. One of them, R (M30), told another regular, D (M60), that we were going to hook up and D asks, “Yeah, but does she know that?” and got R to back off without me having to say anything to him. It’s honestly some of the alliances that really make a females life easier.” –BeanieBlitz

“Seven or eight? My sister (1 year older) and I had just gotten furry boots for Christmas and were wearing them out. Three teenagers on bikes stopped us and started going off about how sexy we were in those boots and wouldn’t let us pass. I remember being confused and scared. My sister who was blonde, always got the worst of it though. She was raped at the age of 16 and was never the same since, that led to a downward spiral and eventually her death last year.” –Scoobymaybe

“A step cousin asked to see what color panties I was wearing. I was probably 6.

I was a waitress at 15, a man I was serving said “I should be in prison for the thoughts I’ve had about you” Never forgot that one.

Edit: I have worked in restaurants since then and have enough stories to write a book. I’m 30 and I own the restaurant now. This shit does not fly with me!” –meatmama

“I was 12 and was babysitting my younger brother (11yrs younger than me) and took him to the park and someone apparently assumed he was my son and told me to keep my legs shut next time. I had to ask a friend what it meant. It mostly just made me afraid of being a teen parent, and being publicly shamed. Edited to add: wow, this is clearly a common experience for so many people- sorry to all of you who have also been victim to people’s weird obsession with teen pregnancy and who feel their only possible course of action is to slut shame children!” –Peskypikachu

“I insisted I have my own room and that I didn’t want to share a bed with my mum, so she put me in a room with her scuba diving friend that was renting the room next to us. She obviously trusted him or something to put me in there. He would make comments about how I would grow up to have a nice body – a remark that I never understood because I was 7! I ended getting molested by that son of a b*tch and I never grasped what he had done until YEARS later. Now I distance myself from older men. I grew up being wary of others.” –hafyu

“I was 8, I was helping my younger cousin on to her tricycle so I picked her up and as I was bent over from picking her up some creep on a bike whistled at me and yell “aye mami”. I was in pink shorts and a matching Winnie the Pooh shirt. My dad chased him down the street with a bat.

[edit] I just remembered this one. Another time was when I was 9 and my cousins and I were swimming in a river in between two hills. Our parents were on one hill BBQing and the other was too steep for anyone to climb up so the only way you could get to the side facing the river was by going over the hill from the other side and hope to God you wouldn’t slide down the hill and into the rocky river. Anyway my cousins and I are splashing each other and being kids. I see something out of the corner of my eye and see this big fat white guy looking at us through binoculars. So me being a kid thought him having binoculars was cool so I yell and point “HEY LOOK HE’S GOT BINOCULARS!” And once I said that took off pulling his pants up. When I was like 17 or 18 I realized he was jerking off to us playing in the water in our swimsuits.

[edit] for those that are confused as to why I put the guys race in the story, that is how my 9 year old brain chose to remember him. We lived in a mostly Latinx community so seeing this random pale white guy was not a common occurrence. The only white people I came across as a child was when we went to different cities or the teachers at school. Take it as you will.” –princesspotato92

“I was 7 years old, I was at a place called “Health World” it was an exhibit about the human body, that was really popular at the time. There was also a large group of highschoolers there with their school at the time. 6 boys, tried to gang rape me in one of the exhibit halls when they thought no one was looking. They were all 15-17. It started with them making comments about my skirt (“That’s a short skirt, Little Mama”) and one of them backed me into a wall. It was a blur from there. I remember someone saying “HOld her down, make sure she can’t fight.” and I started screaming for my mom and my cousin.

The difference of time, between my mother stepping away to get my cousin from a trash can (she threw up), and them trying this was like five minutes. They dropped me, before they could get my clothes off but I remember very vividly how horrible it was. I felt so violated and scared and dirty…

I repressed how violent this encounter actually was, until my ex-bff’s mom slut shamed me saying “You must be a little slut, after all those boys couldn’t keep their hands off you at that musuem.” (and yes they were punished but a teacher tried to actually defend them and tried to say it was my fault… Until my mom pointed to me, sitting on a chair in the corner, in my little pink skirt, my Little Mermaid T-shirt and my pink Winx Club sneakers. He still tried to keep defending it even when my mom pointed out “SHE’S SEVEN YEARS OLD. HOW IS IT TO ANY OF YOU, THAT TRYING TO GANG RAPE A SEVEN YEAR OLD SEEMS LIKE IT WAS A PERFECTLY APPROPRIATE THING? IS THIS WHAT YOUR TEACHING THEM!?”)

That was as young as it got…”- Storm137

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

People Are Sharing How They Reached The $100K Ceiling

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People Are Sharing How They Reached The $100K Ceiling

PIUS UTOMI EKPEI / Getty

Hitting that $100K ceiling might seem impossible if you’re a woman, particularly one in a certain field. Fortunately, Reddit is a fountain of financial advice, and men and women are sharing the ways in which they make $100K+ a year.

From improving a teacher’s salary to growing incoming as an artist, it’s all here!

Check the bits of advice out below!

“Programmer… took me 1.5 years after graduating college . But I am very lucky that my company is very high paying most programmers don’t make 100k+ for a while.”- Dangerous-Abalone381

“Really? Are you Front-end, back-end, or full stack? I was always under the impression that programmers/software engineers make a ton of money. Or is a programmer and software engineer different?!”- hoytscher

“Do you think people interested in transitioning to tech need to do a BS or would a boot camp suffice if they already have a BA and experience in other fields? Do you think programming gives good work life balance and salary?

I’m a teacher looking to move for better salary ($70k+) and decent work life balance and it seems like tech is recommended repeatedly.”- SnackHardNapHard

“I’ve been a programmer for 5 years and am only making ~$45k. Granted I did start out very slowly just doing a small amount of programming as part of my main job but I’m expecting to become a full fledged software developer this year.”- wolf_kisses

“I’m a social worker and never expected to make this salary. I worked in hospitals for a few years to get experience and now I take travel contracts. Similar to travel nursing but for social work.”- MurielFinster

“I started making 100k in medical social work after I passed my LCSW exam. Never thought it would be possible in this field.”-OEBmom

“oh wow, this is very cool. did not know you could do travel contracts. have been debating getting my master’s in social work, but am terrified of the debt. how long did you work in hospitals? what age did you start?”- losergoo

“I watch and manage high voltage power transmission lines for renewable energy sources in West Texas.

I got this job by being in the Navy for a number of years as a power plant operator, then becoming a nuclear plant operator, then going to college and dropping out, then getting really lucky. All in all, I hit 100k salary after working in the industry for just about 10 years.”- Sand_Dargon

“I’m an in house lawyer at an investment bank. I was 25 when I was first hired as a first year associate at a big law firm and started making $160,000 a year. 2 years later I hit $200,000. Those who work in the corporate sector, whether it’s consulting, finance, or law easily make over $100k. The problem is that in the big cities- NYC, LA, SF, etc. the housing is so expensive that even that doesn’t go very far if you have student loans.”- IwastesomuchtimeonAB

“I graduated in 2008 so I came out making $160k. Then my whole class got laid off and I went to making $70k. It’s been 13 years and I STILL don’t make as much money as I made the day I left law school. 2008 was rough man.”-Cat_With_The_Fur

“Data analyst

I’ve been out of undergrad for 13 years, but I worked retail for a bit and did grad school. I started in this sort of career pathway in 2014 and just hit 6 figures this year, so about 7 years in this industry.

My first DA-related job paid 42k/yr. Over the next few years I went from 42->44->50->52->75 (promotion to “senior” analyst) ->77->80->83->100 (same title, new company)”- PressureAwkward

“I also work in data and had an untraditional path to it. I graduated undergrad in 2013 and grad school at the end of 2018, and hit 6 figures around 1.5 years after grad school. I live in a very high cost of living city so that affected things as well.”- rlf923

“I’m also in Data Analytics, and it took 4 years after undergrad to make 6 figures. I studied Economics. My starting salary was $44k, and I received pay increases of about 25% annually until my salary was $104k. I was in a development program with a company, and all the raises were automatic except the last one. I’ve since moved, but my salary in the new position (also analytics) is $100k in a much lower cost of living area.”- kelsitear

“I work in the fashion industry as a designer and stylist. I’m lucky enough to be in the more high-profile side of things. It only took me two years to get to that point, I happened to just work on peojects within that kind of wage range and went from there.”-RosesAndPoinsettias

“I was an assistant fashion designer before the pandemic and lost my job. This gives me hope that the fashion industry will open up more opportunities in the future for me to get into it again.”- psychadelicamanic

“Likewise. I work at a Project Manager for a large insurance company. Took me 10 years after undergrad to hit the 100k mark (with bonus). Did Army for 4 years and when I transitioned out, had to start at a more entry level position (With a pay cut). Went from 55k to 98k in 5 years, and 4 different positions. Biggest benefit of the army, no student debt and good starting salary.”- mgmsupernova

“Set Decorator. (Interior designer for movies) Started as a PA, moved to set dresser, and finally to the head of the decoration department. PA is minimum wage, but as you work up the wages of course go up. I think it took me about 4 years to get to the 100000 a year mark. And of course, income fluctuates by show contract. None of us in the industry made as much money in 2020, for example, with the shutdowns.”- textilesandtrim

“People at salons can make a ton of money. I work at a nail salon part-time and I can make upwards of 300 plus tips a day. I made over 300 yesterday and about 60 in tips, which is very low IMO. I just had low quality clients (not a high service amount and low tips).

I always imagined hair salons being in even more than that. Cut and color ranges from 60 to what, 400 bucks? If you are willing to grind and build up your rapport, you can make a great living.”- TakethThyKnee

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Women Of Reddit Are Sharing The Heartbreaking Ways Mental Illness Has Affected Their Careers

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Women Of Reddit Are Sharing The Heartbreaking Ways Mental Illness Has Affected Their Careers

LUIS ROBAYO / Getty

We don’t always think of mental illness like anxiety and depression as an exterior problem. Because it is so internal, we often think the signs of mental illness are easy to miss and as a result, should be covered up. Still, so many of us have experienced mental illness to the point of being incapable of dragging ourselves out of bed or heading out for plans with friends.

Surprisingly, research has revealed that workplace and personal relationships can lead to longterm trauma when it comes to the office and love.

Women of Reddit are sharing how mental health has affected their work and professional lives.

Check them out below!

“I tend to self-isolate when I’m in a deeper depression. I don’t accept invitations to do things with friends. I’m chronically single, so there is no SO for it to affect.

Mostly throughout all my depressions, I’ve still been able to make it to work. That would be all I could do in a day. Get up, go to work. Come home and sleep. Most of the time I could keep up the facade at work of being a chatty outgoing person. When I’d have my bad days, I’d just let my coworkers know I wasn’t feeling well so I probably would be really quiet those days. They’d assume it was a cold or headache, but really it was my depression weighing me down. I would occasionally take mental health days off work, but those were only when I knew I wasn’t scheduled for much and it wouldn’t negatively affect my coworkers much. I’d never do it on a busy day or if I was scheduled in something that it would be difficult to replace me in.

At my current job, I don’t have to interact with others as much. I am in an office environment now (I worked in a lab before), but sit at my desk/cube with headphones on listening to podcasts while I do my work all day. I’ve had some bad depression days, but I still come into work and just count the hours down until I can go back home and crawl into bed. Bed in my happy place.”- MadtownMaven

“ I have tons of vacation time and it feels like weirdly I take “too many” mental health days however I guess former jobs made it hard for me to “call in sick” just because ‘depressed’.

I’ve lost friends over my isolation ways. And a partner. Yay.”- duckduck_goose

“That was exactly how I felt right before I decided I needed help. It got to the point where I couldn’t leave and just called the house to beg someone to bring me a drink or food. hugs That being said, sometimes you just got to do what makes you happiest. And if that is your bed, you probably picked a good cozy spot.”- ktwat

“I’m an aspie. In my first two relationships, I was taken advantage of, taken for granted and left out of my social activities due to the fact that my interaction with others was often seen as “steely” or “intimidating” (unintentionally though). I found it difficult to get my feelings across or that my partners had very little time for me in terms of discussing interactional problems or even just simple things like my past. I was cheated on in both of those relationships, probably regularly, because any social training I have didn’t include how to interact with a romantic partner. I think I’m getting the grips of it now though and in my third long-term relationship. It helps that I am completely head-over-heels in love with the guy but also, he treats me with respect, points out when i do something wrong or say something inappropriate and I feel like I’ve learned a lot more over the past year in my relationship with him that I have in the past 30 years from therapists or other people. I’ve stopped all forms of medication now, and stick to a fairly strict routine which keeps me ‘in check.’”- Gamerdomme

“You know how when someone has PTSD in a movie they start drinking a shit ton and possibly sleeping around and denying anything is wrong with them? Yeah, that was me, all day. I wasn’t really in denial that I was fucked up, but I maintained it would just go away on its own and I could “work through it”. Ha.

I actually didn’t experience too many issues in friendships, I think I was pretty self-aware of when I was dumping my problems on people, and I have a lot of friends, so when one person was getting overloaded I could go to someone else. I’m also a good listener myself, so when I was dumping on people I made it clear I would return the favor any time, which most took me up on at some point. Focusing on other people was a great break from my own problems. I was convinced telling my parents about my issues would make them “real”, though, and I was convinced I was letting them down by having problems, so I lied my face off to them.”- SpermJackalope

“When I was depressed I made the mistake of relying on my friends and partners as therapists rather than friends and partners, and some of those relationships imploded as a result. I feel really, really bad about it now, but at the time I wasn’t in the head space to think about what I was doing. It got better when I got an actual therapist.

I pulled away from a lot of people too. I didn’t want my parents to worry, so I never told them it was so bad I was suicidal. Talking to them was exhausting because I was at university and wanted them to believe the experience they were paying for was the most amazing of my life, when in reality I was sleeping 20-22hrs a day. Eventually I couldn’t keep it up anymore and broke down in the middle of a restaurant and told them I was really struggling. To their credit they instantly had me in to see doctors, they did all kinds of research, they became cheerleaders … What I had needed all along if I’d let them know. There was one rough patch where my dad threatened to have me committed but I think, looking back, that it came from a place of fear for him worrying he might actually have to hospitalize his daughter for her own good. I can’t imagine how hard that was for him.

I’m better now. I have friends and my family and an awesome SO. It took me almost two years after I got better to really relearn who I was apart from my depression but the people in my life have been really patient about it. They’re generally understanding when I feel like I’m backsliding but I’ve learned to cope better than dumping all my problems on them as well.”-snapkangaroo

“I have an anxiety/panic disorder and sometimes depression. It really affected my schoolwork back in 2009. I went on academic probation. I was afraid to leave my apartment. Etc etc. Then I started getting help. Three semesters later I made Dean’s List. My anxiety has been up and down since then, but I’ve never let it affect my work again.

A year ago on the 15th of February I broke up with my most recent ex-boyfriend because of it. I had been open and honest with him in a way I had avoided before because I was scared of the stigma. He seemed receptive and empathetic. Then one day I came home, complained about a panic attack, and he laughed at me. He called me ridiculous. All of a sudden I realized what a tremendous asshole he was and broke up with him.

It’s hard for me to know the line. Who can I talk to about this? Who can I trust? My mom, my best friend, and my sisters I can trust. Anybody else? I don’t know. When can/should I start talking to the person I’m dating about it? Will he laugh me out of the room? Will he pretend to care for months and then laugh me out of the room?

I’m doing really well right now. I haven’t had a panic attack in months. My anxiety has been at an all time low. I’m hoping this is actually me getting better rather than me having a good spell. But I don’t think so. It’ll come back. It always comes back. And that’s part of the disorder. Being so afraid of the panic that it causes me to avoid thing and panic about things and let it control me. If it does come back, I can beat it again. I have in the past, I can in the future.”- BagsOfMoney

“It’s really inspiring to hear how you hauled yourself back up! Have you had to have any of those conversations lately? How does it differ to talk to family vs. friends vs. romantic interests about it?”- ktwat

“I have severe anxiety and depression. This is not your normal “sometimes I feel sad” shit. Also, I’m a hypochondriac and neurotic. What I’ve seen is that people need a lot of patience for me. They need the ability to listen to me as I coach them through my anxiety attacks (“don’t touch me; okay now I need a hug; give me space; I need water” etc.) and they need the ability to distract me when I get into neurotic/hypochondriac fits of anxiety. When I’m depressed, they need to understand it’s not because of them. This is always tricky to convince someone of.”- giottoblue

“One of my boyfriends didn’t “believe” in mental illness, and decided that therefore I shouldn’t be taking my medication for anxiety/ADD because “I shouldn’t be dependent on a chemical” and “it was all in my head and I could just feel better if I wanted to.” That relationship did not last, and that was a big part of that. That’s a thing that does actually happen, and was pretty harmful for me (although that’s part of the larger scheme of that relationship which tended to be rather manipulative, which is a whole other can of worms. Feel free to pm me if you’ve got any questions about it though.)

My current boyfriend is very understanding and supportive of that, recognizes that sometimes I need my space and that sometimes there are things that won’t just immediately “get better” and he’s really great about wanting to see me happy and calm and if my life gets super stressful (which happens somewhat frequently as a grad student) he does whatever he can to make it better! But he might be extra great about it.

I haven’t ever had anybody ever ask to have some of my meds (some of them being controlled substances that people pay a lot for on the street) with any seriousness, but I usually include that in my opening spiel about the problem. I’ve also had some experiences where people are talking about getting them from a doctor when clearly they don’t have a real problem (like, “yeah I went to my doctor and told him I can’t concentrate and now he gave me meds to take during finals…” sort of like that. I don’t mean that I’m an expert in when people do/don’t have a mental disorder. This is kind of like people who clearly smoke a lot of pot saying they suddenly go to their doctor to get it when before they had no indication of a problem. I’m trying to word this well and it really isn’t working but I hope that makes sense). In those situations I tend to just not say anything because it’s not something I tell a lot of people.”-all_that_glitters_

“I’m now in recovery for an Eating Disorder and have had a massive battle with anxiety.

Personally I’ve been able to see who my real friends are. My ED took over my life slowly but surely and as I started on the slope a few friends just seemed to distance themselves and then stop talking to me. I’ve got a smaller group of friends now but I trust all of them and wouldn’t change a thing.

The other aspect that was affected personally was my relationship with my boyfriend, he stood by me every single moment and helped me through basically every single panic attack/purge etc. He was my rock, but it almost split us up. During recovery I made a stupid mistake as my self destructive part took over, however, we made it through. I think the hardest part for him was that he just couldn’t see my train thought, he didn’t understand how my skewed logic made so much sense to me. There are still knock ons from this time as my libido dropped during my ED and I still find it really hard to initiate any sort of sex. I still have a poor view of what I look like, which is worse when stressed, but we continue to work through it.

Professionally, ED and then recovery has ruined my job. My boss has been pretty unreasonable with some aspects of it and continues to stress me out. She also told me during recovery that I wasn’t ‘crazy crazy any more, just girl crazy’. Also, any time something is wrong with me she automatically assumes its an ED issue and asks if I’m eating. It’s horrible to be constantly probed over something that you are trying to overcome/move past.”-marty1411

“The stigma is terrifying to me. I can’t imagine any other time when people find it okay to berate someone over an illness. Your boss sounds like she is asking for an HR conversation. And what in the everloving fuck does “girl crazy” mean? Like “your invalid problems are even more invalid because they are female invalid problems”? Bullshit. Every element of it is valid whether someone chooses to acknowledge it or not. I am glad you have such great support, though. Your SO rocks! Tell him some random chick on the internet loves and respects his patience and strength.”-ktwat

“My eating disorder has affected every aspect of my life since I was 13. I am in recovery now, but for over a decade, I was in and out of inpatient/residential treatment centers.

Professionally and academically, this affected me because I had to leave school and work at very inopportune times. It took me 7 years to graduate college because I had to take 5 medical withdrawals. It was an embarrassing reason to leave, so I usually wouldn’t tell any of my friends. One day, I would just not show up and stop responding to texts. Then when I would return, I would say I was just sick. I told my close friends, but it wasn’t something I wanted to broadcast.

All of my relationships have ended because of my eating disorder, whether indirectly or directly. I remember a situation with an ex where he wouldn’t let me purge. I became a different person. I screamed, kicked, cried, bit, punched, and hit him because he wouldn’t let me go. I called him extremely hurtful names. I didn’t care about anything in that moment except getting to the bathroom to shove me fingers down my throat. Eventually, he gave up and let me go. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. When I came out of the bathroom, I was so embarrassed.

My boyfriends do not just date me; they also date my eating disorder. I went to Germany with an ex, and he ended up calling his mom asking her to get me an early plane ride home because he couldn’t handle my eating disorder. I didn’t experience the trip while I was there because I only cared about food. I ended up convincing him to stay, but our relationship was never the same. We broke up very soon after that. When I climbed the castle stairs in Germany, I only wondered how many calories I was burning. I didn’t care about the beauty of the castles or the country.

Therapy has affected me in an extremely positive way. I have learned amazing communication skills by being in therapy for 12 years. I know how to effectively relay my feelings in every situation. I learned that it’s okay for me to have needs and that they may not always be met. I would recommend therapy to anyone. It is not just something for “crazy people.” It can be beneficial for anyone.”- toritxtornado

“I have bipolar II and generalized anxiety disorder. I also am currently dealing with post-partum depression.

I am on medication, but I am not in therapy right now. I’m doing pretty well for the most part.

I have a lot of problems with controlling emotions in general. But anger is the most difficult. It has almost destroyed my relationship with my husband a few times over.

He used to have a difficult time understanding that my disorders were causing my erratic behavior. He didn’t understand why I could just be happy and calm like him. He even talked me into quitting all of my medication early in our relationship. It was awful and I was having a lot of awful problems for it.

These days, especially after the birth of our first child and the post-partum psychosis that followed (complete with hallucinations and paranoid delusions) put things into perspective for him. He understands now that my mind just isn’t working properly in regards to mood regulation and perception.

I have lost friends due to it, mostly because of my rage problems where I would tell them off in the most cruel, painful, and humiliating way possible if I felt slighted or insulted by them. I don’t do that anymore, thank god.

In the past, a lot of my medications killed my libido. Right now I am on a good medication combination, my libido feels fine, maybe slightly lower, but I don’t have the problems reaching orgasm that I did with other drugs.

It hasn’t really effected my work much since I manage my disorders well with meds.

It did become a problems during my second pregnancy. I tried quitting all of my medication and started having back to back panic attacks. At work. I remember a few times getting panicked and just blacking out and wandering around the town I work in. That stopped happening when my OBGYN put me on wellbutrin.

I used to see a psychiatrist for my medication. It was expensive and felt creepy because he would analyze my every thought and movement. I see a family doctor right now and he has done a better job of finding good drugs for me than any of the psychiatrists ever did.

But it’s definitely not something I can be open about. I just don’t bring it up unless I know someone very well.”- antisocialmedic

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