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People Are Sharing Tough Pills To Swallow And It’s A Massive Dose Of Abuelo Realness

From “not everyone is going to like you” to “you can’t always get what you want” we’ve all heard some practical pieces of advice that have brought us down to earth. But what about those pills that are tough to swallow and that no one ever talks about? Like… “your parents are dying” and you don’t “deserve” anything?

Users on Reddit recently got together to share some realness that are on one hand kind of a bummer but on the other hand pretty enlightening.

Check out the realness below!

“It may start out as butterflies and they can never do anything wrong, but that period may be short for some couples and that can also be ok. Depending on past relationship experience, it may be important for one or both people to hash out issues with the other early on as a way to determine is this even possibly going to work. If a dealbreaker personality trait presents early and the person doesn’t want to change or feels like they don’t need to change it, it’s important to know that at month 3 rather than year 3. Give them good faith opportunities to work on it (edit: and ask for those opportunities for yourself), but if it doesn’t happen it may never and it’s okay to move on. I feel like people get too caught up in “but this is the beginning it’s supposed to be a honeymoon phase,” when in reality maybe you are both being your realest selves (edit: or slowly revealing this real self) and it’s important to know that before you’ve spent years with someone. Speaking from experience on both ends of this spectrum and definitely both sides of the relationship. I strongly believe people have a great capacity to change, but it takes effort, honest introspection, and self-awareness. Some people can, some people will, some will choose to find someone okay with them as-is or will find out a need to do these self-renovations with someone else.”- bwa236

“You can’t keep everyone you love around you forever.” –SiepieJR

“This one’s for parents: Your children do not owe you because you decided to bring them into this world. They are not your personal slave. Let them live their lives. Don’t have your hand in their pocketbook. They don’t owe you anything. You are supposed to teach them how to be independent and be able to start their life on their own. By making them rely on you and having you rely on them, you’re only making it harder for them to spread their wings. They are your children, not your property. Raise them with the same respect you’d want your own parents to treat you.”- musicallyours01

“You can’t make someone love you.” –Charming_Preference

“A significant subset of the population will behave as shitty as they are allowed to or can get away with.” –StorkSlayer

“Fairness, Justice and Karma are not a given. They happen less than you expect. Be the change you want to see in the world but dont expect a just reward for it.” – Jacksinyourbox

“There are people with fundamentally different world views and you will never be capable of seeing eye to eye with some of them.”-joemamma474

“The world is brutally unfair. Even if you bust your ass working on something, you can still fail and see someone who barely works gets everything you want. Even so, the world does not owe you anything. You can still fail the next time, but you’ll only have a chance on succeeding if you try.”- Pandaonthego

“Life isn’t against you, It’s simply it’s simply ignorant to your existence. People are going to get sick and die, people who don’t deserve shit are going to get ahead of you, greed pays off and you are going to struggle. But the beauty of it all is that you don’t have to let that affect you. If you live your life feeling grateful for the little things like being around people you like, having a roof over your head, good meals and new experiences then you’ll have a better life. Make your own happiness and don’t let the context of other people’s lives effect yours.”- coniferous-1

“It doesn’t matter how compatible you are with someone sexually (or how attractive they might be), that’s not enough to sustain a healthy and happy relationship.”- nuhtty

“People don’t get what they deserve, they get what they get. There is nothing any of us can do about it.”- Witness_me_Karsa

“Marry a stable person you find attractive physically and psychologically, communicate both good and bad, don’t let your sex life slide…. hell, I just got lucky in my choice.” – pope_schist

“Physical changes will happen over time, but you will start paying less attention to those things as your ever-increasing knowledge and love for you partner grows and your perception of them expands beyond what you see. My wife will often lament that she’s not in as good a shape as she used to be or her hair is getting gray or she’s fattened the curve a bit during this quarantine, but I always reply by saying that she wouldn’t feel any of those things if she could see herself how I see her. It’s been 25 years and a lot of joy and pain along the way, but I still want to lovingly fuck the shit out of her every single day. Maintaining the sex life is also important, as is recognizing that there are so many ways to be sexual without good ole PIV. For example, my wife is recovering from a back injury right now, and we haven’t had PIV for a few months, which of course is totally understandable! However, she can still use her hands, and I’ve often requested such attention because I know she likes being seen as a sexual being even if she’s not always feeling sexy. I think she enjoys being able to give me pleasure, and the last time I asked for a vigorous hand-holding, she wanted her vibrator afterwards. It was really nice, and it made us feel more intimate and connected, which is something that we both needed very much. Sex and love will ebb and flow, but if you’re both working on yourselves and each other, the balance will remain strong.” – xenobuzz

“Someone told me once that love isnt a feeling its an action, you love someone, you dont feel love for someone, that implies work, and its hard, and sometimes you wont feel that feeling, but you still gonna love them.” –YouAreNotMeYet

“If you are a smart kid in a small town: You aren’t as smart as you think you are. This will come as a big pill to swallow if you get a scholarship or make it into some sort of academic program where the rest of your classmates are “smart kids” too. Edit: Wow this is starting to gain some traction so I’ll clarify a bit. I was speaking from personal experience when I got out into the real world finally. Based on what I saw, one of two things happen: You either come to terms with it and step up your work ethic, or you fizzle out and accept mediocrity. For reference my program was nuclear engineering. Lots of smart people and it was a tough pill to swallow for a guy fresh from a small town in AL, that never had to try academically before then. If you can come to terms with it though, everything will become way less stressful. Just have to accept that new norm.” –Echo5even

“Being happy long-term isn’t about doing whatever you feel at any given moment, sometimes you have to make a conscious, serious effort over a period of days, weeks, even months or years, to form good habits and increase your quality of life in order to have a positive disposition instead of intermittent periods of joy with a general negative disposition.” – everyischemicals

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Black Women Are Talking About The Frustrations Of Being Mistreated In The Office

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Black Women Are Talking About The Frustrations Of Being Mistreated In The Office

SNL

It’s no secret that when it comes to navigating and thriving in a work environment, women have it particularly difficult. Especially when it comes to climbing up the corporate ladder. For Black women, however, the challenges of this climb are especially strenuous. According to LeanIn.org and McKinsey & Company’s 2019 Women in the Workplace study, “Black women and Latinas are more likely
to be held back by the broken rung.”

Not surprisingly, Black women have a lot to say about the lack of equal opportunity in the office space.

 Check out their answers below!

“I still get some of this shit on occasion, but I’ve worked at my place long enough that people know to keep out of my business unless we’re talking business. I’m also fortunate to work for people who only care about your numbers and what you close on (finance) and crack down quick on racist/sexual harassment bullshit.

Imo, being great at your job gives you a lot of leeway, and women don’t often take advantage of it enough. Like when a co-worker implied I got my degree because of affirmative action, I set him straight quick with photos of my college acceptance letter and scholarship for academic performance.

Then I told my immediate rep and added that I’m just here to work and do good work, while casually dropping the fact that my sales were ~350% above the floor average. That perked him up enough to deal with the situation right then and there and bump the guy down a level.

Obviously being assertive doesn’t always work out in your favor, and sometimes it can even get you burned. But there’s something to be said for flexing the muscle you’ve built up and using Capitalism, your own generated value, as leverage. Even if it’s not your immediate boss, odds are there is someone in the hierarchy of your company who doesn’t fuck around and recognizes the problem perverts and bigots generate for employee performance (and litigation).”- Quixadashani

“Head. Phones. As soon as they start up with the problematic conversations in the office, slip them bad boys on and listen to a podcast or playlist.

I also had to learn to mind my ps and qs. Meaning be on time and make sure I’m doing everything by the book. Make sure I’m great at my job. They can’t come for you when they don’t have any dirt on you. Being able to check people in a nice way is paramount. I’m still working on that part. They pulled some mess last week when they tried to kick me off a volunteer charity team because they don’t like me or whatever. I called them out saying, “Why are y’all acting funny?” Oops, not the best way to handle it.” –leftblane

“Where do I start. First off my story is going to be a bit of a one off. Alot of the issues I faced in my office were actually caused by other people of color (Asians and Latinx, specifically). I’m one of four African Americans that work in a small company, and the only one on night shift. I’ve been there for two years. During those two years I have been there I’ve been called degrading names. I hear dehumanizing “black jokes” aimed and told directly to me on a daily basis. Most of the time these little shenanigans are pulled once upper management leaves or when they are not around. My tipping point was realizing that HR was useless because a lot of the things I was getting ready to report have already been reported for years.

The icing on the cake was in the beginning of November 2017. I overheard the companies president, a white guy in his 60s, use the N-word three times in a span of 10 minutes. So then I knew, I couldn’t go to anyone in the company to get any of these issues resolved. I personally have taken a radical approach to solving the issues for myself. I started recording everything they said to me. When there try to pull some of their racist games on me I threaten them. When one decided to try and pet me like I was some sort of dog, I told him I was going to break his hand, and I wasn’t kidding. I don’t recommend taking that approach, but it’s gotten them to stop bothering me. Shit most don’t talk to me anymore or dare stand next to me, which I like.

The company recently promoted a new person to night shift supervisor, he’s been with the company for 15 years. I’ve been helping him transition into his new role, as I know about a lot of the policies and technology we deal with. All while still taking care of my own workload. He’s been begging me to stay because of the help I’ve been giving him. When I told him about the things that I have had to put up with, he said he would address it immediately. The next day he sent one of the perpetrators home early for their antics, and that’s just the start. So who knows, maybe I might stay a little longer since I’m planning to move out of the state next year. But other more appealing I.T. jobs are out there that I’m eyeing. Plus my second job is trying to offer me full time, although it’s retail and not I.T. related. So it’s good having a backup plan.

Oh, I also go to the gym, I actually recommend it. Takes your mind off a lot. My particular gym needs a punching bag though. Sorry for the essay and long read. Probably the longest post I’ve ever typed on a phone, and posted on a site.” –DarksideImperialist

“I really get where you’re coming from because I work in a specialist field too. I sit and wonder if I were in another field would they have had the balls to try some of the crap that they have.

The gym is a good shout to go vent out some frustration, it’s next on my summer list of things to do. I’m slowly starting to make my way back out because all the stress had caused me to retreat into myself and hardly leave the house except for food or work because it essentially because my safe haven. I’m hoping your situation gets a lot better soon!”- beautynerds

“If it’s that bad, I’d leave. Few jobs are worth all that discomfort.

That being said, I’ve been in toxic work environments that have had black women stay employed there for long periods of time. They either cut out all social contact with everyone so no one feels comfortable enough to do the microagressions and things are always awkward with them or they do their best Ben Carson impression. Neither really pans out well for black women, so again, I say find a new job and try to get a raise out of it.”- Worstmodonreddit

I work in the nuclear industry so it’s quite a unique job, so although I have been looking it’s been difficult to find something of a similar calibre, let alone better. I’ll also admit that there’s a bit of a fear factor over the devil you know, but I’m getting over that now. My mentor managed to organise a move of departments for me so I could have a bit of a reprieve but it’s only made me realise that living in the boonies gives folk an excuse to be ignant. It’s a work in progress.”- beautynerds

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Peruvian Woman Wins Battle Over Right To Die Request

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Peruvian Woman Wins Battle Over Right To Die Request

ANGELA PONCE/ Getty Images

No doubt about it, women have struggled more than anyone to convince the world that the right to make decisions about their bodies is theirs. Ana Estrada, a woman currently confined to her bed, knows this truth. After spending five years of attempting to convince Peruvian officials that she has what’s best for herself in mind, she has finally made a breakthrough.

Recently, Estrada was able to convince Peruvian officials to make a historic decision, regarding her own assisted death.

Euthanasia is largely illegal in the Roman Catholic country of Peru, but Estrada has been granted an exception.

Psychologist Ana Estrada, who has suffered from incurable and progressive polio since the age of 12, poses for pictures at her house in Lima, on February 15, 2020. – A Peruvian court on February 25, 2021 ordered the government to respect the wishes of Estrada to be allowed to die, a rare allowance for euthanasia in largely Catholic Latin America. (Photo by Angela PONCE / AFP) (Photo by ANGELA PONCE/AFP via Getty Images)

Euthanasia is a practice that is illegal in many countries across the globe including Peru where access to abortion and same-sex marriage are also banned. Still, Estrada made a decision for herself to commit to a five-year legal battle after she decided to end her own life “when the time comes.”

Recently, Peru’s government ruled not to appeal a court ruling which recognized her right to “a dignified death.”

“It is an individual case, but I hope it serves as a precedent,” Estrada, 44, explained to Reuters in a recent interview. “I think it is an achievement not only of mine, not only of my cause but also an achievement of law and justice in Peru.”

Estrada, who is a psychologist, has lived with the rare disease called polymyositis for three decades.

The painful disease progressively attacks her muscles and has resulted in her need to breathe with a respirator most of the time. According to NBC, a court ruling from last week granted that state health insurer EsSalud to provide “all conditions” needed for Estrada’s euthanasia. The court also ruled that the event must occur within 10 business days of the date that she decides to end her life. According to NBC, “EsSalud said a statement it would comply with the ruling and form medical commissions to develop a protocol for such cases. The court ruling also cleared anyone assisting Estrada in her death from facing charges, although local law still prohibits anyone from helping people to die.”

Estrada is the author of the blog “Ana seeks dignified death” which she began writing in 2016. In an interview with Reuters, she explained that she made the decision to end her life when she realized she was no longer able to write.

“My body is failing, but my mind and my spirit are happy,” she explained. “I want the last moment of my life to continue like this, in freedom, with peace, tranquility, and autonomy. I want to be remembered like that.”

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