Fierce

People Are Sharing Tough Pills To Swallow And It’s A Massive Dose Of Abuelo Realness

From “not everyone is going to like you” to “you can’t always get what you want” we’ve all heard some practical pieces of advice that have brought us down to earth. But what about those pills that are tough to swallow and that no one ever talks about? Like… “your parents are dying” and you don’t “deserve” anything?

Users on Reddit recently got together to share some realness that are on one hand kind of a bummer but on the other hand pretty enlightening.

Check out the realness below!

“It may start out as butterflies and they can never do anything wrong, but that period may be short for some couples and that can also be ok. Depending on past relationship experience, it may be important for one or both people to hash out issues with the other early on as a way to determine is this even possibly going to work. If a dealbreaker personality trait presents early and the person doesn’t want to change or feels like they don’t need to change it, it’s important to know that at month 3 rather than year 3. Give them good faith opportunities to work on it (edit: and ask for those opportunities for yourself), but if it doesn’t happen it may never and it’s okay to move on. I feel like people get too caught up in “but this is the beginning it’s supposed to be a honeymoon phase,” when in reality maybe you are both being your realest selves (edit: or slowly revealing this real self) and it’s important to know that before you’ve spent years with someone. Speaking from experience on both ends of this spectrum and definitely both sides of the relationship. I strongly believe people have a great capacity to change, but it takes effort, honest introspection, and self-awareness. Some people can, some people will, some will choose to find someone okay with them as-is or will find out a need to do these self-renovations with someone else.”- bwa236

“You can’t keep everyone you love around you forever.” –SiepieJR

“This one’s for parents: Your children do not owe you because you decided to bring them into this world. They are not your personal slave. Let them live their lives. Don’t have your hand in their pocketbook. They don’t owe you anything. You are supposed to teach them how to be independent and be able to start their life on their own. By making them rely on you and having you rely on them, you’re only making it harder for them to spread their wings. They are your children, not your property. Raise them with the same respect you’d want your own parents to treat you.”- musicallyours01

“You can’t make someone love you.” –Charming_Preference

“A significant subset of the population will behave as shitty as they are allowed to or can get away with.” –StorkSlayer

“Fairness, Justice and Karma are not a given. They happen less than you expect. Be the change you want to see in the world but dont expect a just reward for it.” – Jacksinyourbox

“There are people with fundamentally different world views and you will never be capable of seeing eye to eye with some of them.”-joemamma474

“The world is brutally unfair. Even if you bust your ass working on something, you can still fail and see someone who barely works gets everything you want. Even so, the world does not owe you anything. You can still fail the next time, but you’ll only have a chance on succeeding if you try.”- Pandaonthego

“Life isn’t against you, It’s simply it’s simply ignorant to your existence. People are going to get sick and die, people who don’t deserve shit are going to get ahead of you, greed pays off and you are going to struggle. But the beauty of it all is that you don’t have to let that affect you. If you live your life feeling grateful for the little things like being around people you like, having a roof over your head, good meals and new experiences then you’ll have a better life. Make your own happiness and don’t let the context of other people’s lives effect yours.”- coniferous-1

“It doesn’t matter how compatible you are with someone sexually (or how attractive they might be), that’s not enough to sustain a healthy and happy relationship.”- nuhtty

“People don’t get what they deserve, they get what they get. There is nothing any of us can do about it.”- Witness_me_Karsa

“Marry a stable person you find attractive physically and psychologically, communicate both good and bad, don’t let your sex life slide…. hell, I just got lucky in my choice.” – pope_schist

“Physical changes will happen over time, but you will start paying less attention to those things as your ever-increasing knowledge and love for you partner grows and your perception of them expands beyond what you see. My wife will often lament that she’s not in as good a shape as she used to be or her hair is getting gray or she’s fattened the curve a bit during this quarantine, but I always reply by saying that she wouldn’t feel any of those things if she could see herself how I see her. It’s been 25 years and a lot of joy and pain along the way, but I still want to lovingly fuck the shit out of her every single day. Maintaining the sex life is also important, as is recognizing that there are so many ways to be sexual without good ole PIV. For example, my wife is recovering from a back injury right now, and we haven’t had PIV for a few months, which of course is totally understandable! However, she can still use her hands, and I’ve often requested such attention because I know she likes being seen as a sexual being even if she’s not always feeling sexy. I think she enjoys being able to give me pleasure, and the last time I asked for a vigorous hand-holding, she wanted her vibrator afterwards. It was really nice, and it made us feel more intimate and connected, which is something that we both needed very much. Sex and love will ebb and flow, but if you’re both working on yourselves and each other, the balance will remain strong.” – xenobuzz

“Someone told me once that love isnt a feeling its an action, you love someone, you dont feel love for someone, that implies work, and its hard, and sometimes you wont feel that feeling, but you still gonna love them.” –YouAreNotMeYet

“If you are a smart kid in a small town: You aren’t as smart as you think you are. This will come as a big pill to swallow if you get a scholarship or make it into some sort of academic program where the rest of your classmates are “smart kids” too. Edit: Wow this is starting to gain some traction so I’ll clarify a bit. I was speaking from personal experience when I got out into the real world finally. Based on what I saw, one of two things happen: You either come to terms with it and step up your work ethic, or you fizzle out and accept mediocrity. For reference my program was nuclear engineering. Lots of smart people and it was a tough pill to swallow for a guy fresh from a small town in AL, that never had to try academically before then. If you can come to terms with it though, everything will become way less stressful. Just have to accept that new norm.” –Echo5even

“Being happy long-term isn’t about doing whatever you feel at any given moment, sometimes you have to make a conscious, serious effort over a period of days, weeks, even months or years, to form good habits and increase your quality of life in order to have a positive disposition instead of intermittent periods of joy with a general negative disposition.” – everyischemicals

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