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Nurses And Midwives Of Reddit Are Sharing The Bizarre Baby Names That Couldn’t Be Prevented

Maybe naming conventions aren’t always so bad, amiright?

While sometimes a bit rigid, naming conventions can often stipulate and set a standard for appropriate names. You know so that some creative parents can’t name their children Caca or things that will undoubtedly lead to a child getting abused in the future.

Nurses and midwives have been sharing the most bizarre names they’ve encountered in the field and they’re pretty alarming.

Check them out below!

“Boss’s friend named their kid Monster Galileo <last name>. Nurse tried to talk them out of it. Called in child services to talk them out of it. They insisted. Kid goes by Galileo. Honestly, I kind of like the sound of it for an adult or a performer’s name but guh, being a kid named ‘monster’ has to be rough in school.”- WeaselBit

“My boyfriend’s grandmother wanted to name her daughter Sunshine. The midwife said that wasn’t allowed because ‘it wasn’t a real name’ and his grandmother had no other back up baby names. So, a few minutes later when she heard someone down the hall screaming “Tina”, she named her daughter Tina because she couldn’t think of anything else on the spot.”- goddesswithgatos

“I once met a dude named Lovey. It was a family name. I think it was especially cute because he was such a big tough guy.”- americasweetheart

“My brother talked my mother out of naming me Mulan, because he had a major crush on her and didn’t think a “sack of potatoes” deserved to be given her name.”- Rose_Aryn

“My boyfriend was nearly called eggbert… But predominantly egg for short. Glad they decided against it!”- greenqueen420420

“I am neither a nurse or midwife, but I once was paid to design birthday cards for a kid name Mileage (pronounced My Leige, like you would refer to a King). Both the pronunciation and the spelling made me question why i deal with this customer base.”- JudgeJudyApproved

“I worked at a registrar for a while and among the birth certificates I got some of the standouts i saw were:

Killer, Syphilis and Sweet Prayer Sunrise (this one was a boy)”- Not-an-Ocelot

“I knew a woman who named her daughter Sunni. White “new age” sort of woman. I don’t think she realized it, ever.”- Grave_Girl

“My classmates mother was a maternity nurse and she has a couple who wanted to name their son “Collin” but wanted to give him a “unique” spelling for it. (I do not understand why parents do this. It doesn’t make a boring name more interesting all it does is set your child up for lifelong inconvenience.) They spelled it out for her to put on the birth certificate C-O-L-O-N. They tried to name their son colon. As in, the organ attached to your anus. When my classmates mother explained this to them they were painfully embarrassed and asked her to write it down with the normal spelling instead. I don’t think they’ll ever live it down.”- skippyist

“Conversely, I went to HS with a kid named Colin and our physics teacher CONSTANTLY pronounced it “Colon”. Like, how many times does he have to correct you, lady?”- Daghain

“In France there used to be a list of names you had to choose from (mostly based on that day’s name saint and 3-4 others). Which is why there were so many Jean / Marc / Louis /Phillipe / Marie / Anne / Valerie, etc in France.

Now it’s a free choice…. but anyone can ask a judge to cancel a name-choice and force the parent(s) to suggest one the judge finds acceptable. So no names like Coca-Cola, Xerox, Cocaine, Anal, Nutella, Sex Fruit, Devil, Blue Murder… PLUS the rejected name gets added to a “banned” list to streamline the rejection in the future.”-LozNewman

“My uncle wanted to name his daughter Raider God. I’m glad they settled on Jada.”- keikei94

“As a Family Medicine Resident, I personally delivered two different girls named Khaleesi. This was around 2016, well before season 8. I imagine there might be some buyer’s remorse on the parents part at this point.”-Herzeleid-

“My mom is a public school librarian and the cringiest name she has encountered so far is a girl named “Lesmie” (pronounced like Leslie but with an M)

Edit: I also have an acquaintance with the last name Forrest whose father was eventually talked out of naming her ‘Rain.’” –chittybangarang8

“My dad wanted to name me Snövit, the Swedish name for Snow White, but in the end my parents named me something else. Had my younger brother been a girl he’d been named Törnrosa, meaning Thorn Rose and is the Swedish name on Sleeping Beauty.

Never did get to the bottom what my dad’s obsession with princesses was all about.”-geekbydefault

“Not a midwife but lived with a student midwife when I was a student. The first set of twins she delivered got called “Red” and “Blue”

When I worked in a boring admin job dealing with applications from members of the public I came across “Jessica Rabbit”, saw her passport and everything. I just hope she chose that later in life rather than parents landing her with it. The worst ones I saw in that job were combinations made by women getting married and taking their husbands surnames so can’t really be blamed on the parents.”- Flaky_Walrus_668

“I could have been Fiona! My parents thought it was too out there. I wanted to name my daughter Serena, but my husband was against it. My youngest heard the name on a show and she is like, “I love that name. That should be my name.” Well kid, I concur! To be fair, she was going to be the name we picked boy or girl (there is a male and female version of the name) as it has always been a name we both love. We only waited in case we had a son because it was the only boy name we both loved. We had kick ass girls who do match their names.

The new Ducktails has a great scene about names that should have been.”- Viperbunny

“Working as an ERT on overnights, I got called to OB to help out alot. One name will always stick with me because of how unfortunate it is for the kid and how ridiculous it all is. The mom was deep in meth and other substance abuse and she told us she wanted him named Zion. We were like oh cool no problem so we asked her to fill out the paperwork of everything for us to submit and put in the chart and she wrote down Vzyiion…..she looked us dead in the eyes and said, the V is silent….. She also gave him 5 middle names because she didn’t know which one was the father so he got em all…”- Athuny

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