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Men Are Sharing The Secrets Behind What Made Them Want To Commit

So, you’ve been dating your man for some time and you’re head-over-heels in love. You’re committed, you’re ready to start your life together, and you know that you want to get married. And yet… your love hasn’t asked you to marry him yet.

Fortunately, users on Reddit have questions and answers.

Below, check out what has made these Reddit users committed men.

I believe I’ve always just been a committed man. Even when I was younger, single and casually seeing people. I never “crossed streams”. I’ve always felt (again, even casual dating) the person I was spending time with deserved (or was worth) my attention and respect. When I got married – the things I always thought/felt just became concrete. 22 years married (this month) and 24 years together.” –oldhead

“I guess it’s all about perspective and doing what we are comfortable with.

Wow, congratulations.”- dododoo214

“Most people don’t try new things. Most people don’t have the courage to live outside their own comfort zone for any appreciable length of time

I think thats the key to a relationship, continuous adventure, stagnation will kill romance and attraction and being in love. Thats why its important to find someone you;re compatible with, that has that same outlook on life. Some guys are just as you said some girls are, they paint themselves into a box and don’t leave. An avid rock climber might have a hard time staying in a long term relationship with a homebody. usually traveling and seeing the world can be all you need, but not everyone has the $$ or the discipline to save the $$ to go.”- Reddit User

“Strange. I’ve had moments where I figure all that out in the first hour of the first date (some people really don’t have a lot going on in there). But seriously, a relationship only lasts if the two of you can grow together.” –pridejoker 

“I’ve been con-committal, but never strung women along. I was always honest about the degree of a commitment I was interested in.

Currently committed. What changed? Me and her. We took our time, matched well, communicate well, and slowly stepped it up as it felt natural. No big deal.”- Reddit User

10

“I met someone who was worth sticking with. For a big chunk of my 20s I’d just choose the easy path when dating. If someone was willing to sleep with me and we had a few mutual interests then I was fine with her being my girlfriend for a while. Eventually we’d break up, I’d find the next woman on OKC who was willing to bang and the cycle would repeat itself. I don’t regret any of this by the way. I’ve never wanted kids and marriage wasn’t really a life goal of mine so dating someone who I knew wasn’t a long-term keeper didn’t bother me. I did fuck up a relationship with one woman that I profoundly regretted though. When I met my now-wife I realized that if I lost her I would probably be kicking myself for years/the rest of my life.”- LOLer_coaster

When I met my now-wife I realized that if I lost her I would probably be kicking myself for years/the rest of my life.” –dododoo214

I would be committed for the right girl. If it’s not the right girl I wouldn’t say I string her along as I tell her early on I’m not looking for a relationship. Beyond just ending things out of the blue it’s typically because I found out something about her I didn’t like.”- BowsNToes21

“I’m anti-commitment now, but like I said to another post a few days ago that asked a similar question, I’ll commit when something that blows my socks off comes into my life. Otherwise just keep catching fish and throwing them back.”- OskeewowwowIL

“Totally have strung women along before and been non-committal. With my wife, after we lived together (before we got married) for a couple of years I realized that she was growing and changing as a person just like I was, and that I liked the people we were becoming just as much as I liked how we interacted and who we are as a couple. I like how we solve problems and handle conflict and I like doing cool shit with her and just hanging out at home and joking around or playing board games or watching TV. Basically, when I realized I was falling more in love with her over a period of years as we were living together. With every relationship up to that point, after a few months or a year I’d check in with myself and find out that I had a friend (or just a girl I hung out with) rather than a girlfriend.”- GByteKnight

“I’ve always been a commitment or bust kind of guy. I wouldn’t want a casual or open relationship of any kind. Before my wife and I got married we dated for 5 years and it was 100% commitment and 100% official from the very beginning. Any other way to do things just seemed weird to me.”- Naleid

“Meeting the right person, as cliche as that is. Still, i don’t plan on being sexually ‘committed.’”-lasagnaman

“I wanted to be genuinely loved, and that can only happen when you love that other person completely; ironically I’m in a place where girls really enjoy my company and time and enjoy seeing me, but aren’t looking for a relationship C’est la vie.”- charge_complete

Now I’m not sure if I’ll ever be a committed guy again, but only time will reveal that. Exactly. Well no one knows that the future brings, but we can control what we want/deserve! Good relationships (from what I hear) enhance life!”- dododoo214

“Sexual compatibility with the right person. Met and dated lots of girls. Almost married one. Then I met the woman I’d marry, and the sex was incredible. It was perfect, and I wanted more of it all the time.” –bornredd

“When I was you get I put up with a lot of shot and staged with women for the wrong reasons. I grew up and account women the same respect I would expect myself. Now if it’s clear there is no future or it just wouldn’t work, I either break it off as soon as possible. And/or just be open about why it isn’t going anywhere. I’ve had women ha e the same talk with me. And as much as it hurts at the time, I really appreciate the honesty. I’m in my 30’s now and don’t have any time or inclination for falsehoods and game playing. There will always be those people of either gender that never learn or grow enough to realise what a find they choose effect others. But I’m glad for myself that I’ve learned to be a better human being. I’m far from perfect and will never be. But at least I can honestly say I’m finally being honest with myself and other people. Sometimes the decisions are hard to make. And no matter what you do you end up hurting someone. But this is unavoidable sometimes. It’s just a case of being grown up and having enough empathy to do the right thing.”- rageth 

“I grew up in a broken home, I vowed to start a family and be loyal, committed and to love my girlfriend/wife, start a family, have kids and be a great father, nothing is more important to me.”- ixtab1923

“I wouldn’t say I’d string women along I’d rather just casually date other people until I got bored and moved to the next one. Now though it’s different I’ve fallen hard for my now girlfriend and I’ve never been happier.”- Kush_on_thebrain

“I don’t think there’s a difference between a person who wants commitment and a person who doesn’t. I think everyone generally wants the same thing but there are just different levels of desperation. People who say they want something serious are just more desperate than those who say they’re looking for just fun. In both instances when they find the right person they want commitment.”- yessum447

“In my teens and beginning of my 20s, I slept around a lot. I didn’t care about anyone. I then met a good woman who made me care about everything. Including myself.”- Earnin_and_BERNin

“I then met a good woman who made me care about everything. Including myself. How did she do that? Happy you found love and yourself!” – dododoo214

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She Moved Up The Ranks From Janitor To Nurse Practitioner, Now She’s Viral

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She Moved Up The Ranks From Janitor To Nurse Practitioner, Now She’s Viral

Talk about a dream fulfilled.

For ten years, Jaines Andrades harbored her desire to move up from her custodial position at Baystate Medical Center in Springfield, Massachusetts to nurse. Now, ten years later, as an RN she’s excelled well past her drams.

Andrades worked her way through nursing school while working at Baystate Medical in Springfield, Massachusetts, as a janitor.

Ten years ago, Andrades accepted a position as a custodial staff member at Baystate Medical Center with big dreams of being a nurse. Born to Puerto Rican parents Andrades moved from her family home in Springfield, MA in 2005 when she was 14 years old. From there she and enrolled as a student at Putnam Technical-Vocational Academy with hopes of moving up the ranks as a nurse.

“As I got older and approached graduation I just didn’t see how a little girl like me could ever become a lawyer. I didn’t see it as something that was possible for me, so I got discouraged from the idea,” Andrades explained according to Masslive.com.

That all changed after she struck up a conversation with a nurse during a doctor’s visit for her mother. According to Andrades, the nurse tipped her off on the benefits of nursing. “He told me about the program to become a nurse, and, the more he talked, I just thought, ‘Yeah, I can do this.’ It’s a respectable profession, and I could provide for myself financially, so the idea grew from there.”

Soon after she enrolled at Holyoke Community College, ticked off all of her pre-requisites and a handful of introductory nursing classes. Then, in 2010, she transferred to Elms College.

The same year she transferred, Andrades applied for a job in Baystate’s Environmental Services Department and became a custodian at the hospital.

Facebook

“It’s tough to be the person that cleans. If I had to go back and do it again, I would. It’s so worth it,” Andrades explained in an interview with WBZ-TV.

In a Facebook post, Andrades wrote about her journey from hospital custodian to nurse practitioner and posted a picture of all three of her IDs.

Andrades’ story went viral after she shared her experience to Facebook.

Speaking about her journey from custodian to nurse practitioner, Andrades shared a picture of all three of her IDs.

“Even if it was cleaning, as long as I was near patient care I’d be able to observe things. I thought it was a good idea,” the RN explained in her interview before sharing that her favorite part of being a nurse has been her ability to provide patients with comfort. “I just really love the intimacy with people.”

“Nurses and providers, we get the credit more often but people in environmental and phlebotomy and dietary all of them have such a huge role. I couldn’t do my job without them,” she went onto explain. “I’m so appreciative and like in awe that my story can inspire people,” Andrades told WBZ-TV. “I’m so glad. If I can inspire anyone, that in itself made the journey worth it.”

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The Suicide Rate Of Retail Workers Sparks Trending Conversation On Reddit— “It’s unbearable.”

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The Suicide Rate Of Retail Workers Sparks Trending Conversation On Reddit— “It’s unbearable.”

MOHAMMED ABED / Getty

Despite their status as essential workers, retail employees have faced unbelievable amounts of pressure and abuse from the customers they serve. From facing indignant customers who refuse to wear masks to those who attempt to demean them for their work, it’s entirely safe to say that retail employees do not get paid enough for the jobs that they do.

A recent post on Reddit underlines this truth in some pretty shocking ways.

Check out the comments below.

“Low paid, long hours, usually very little control of your hours, working weekends and holidays and being forced to put up with a lot of abuse every day and not often too many avenues for promotion. I’m not shocked tbh.”- Foreign-Complaint130

“The worst part when I worked retail was the combination of “very little control of your hours” and the most fucking erratic schedule in the world. Not consistent day-to-day, week-to-week, or month-to-month. Some days working 2 hours, others working 12. Some weeks you only get 3 days, other times you work for 3 weeks straight without a day off. Sometimes a manager would straight up forget to schedule you and that’s a whole week of pay gone.”- ledivin

“The shitty “performance metrics” created by those firms to “optimize” the workplace efficiency make it million times worse. corporate don’t have time to go over those numbers, so they just look at the graph and summary; regional managers dont want the graph to reflect bad performance, so they punish the local managers for dips in the metrics (bad reviews, lower q-to-q number), so the local managers punish the workers if any customer ever complained. overtime it created the vicious cycle and allowed bad customers to face zero consequences, enabling their abusive behaviors. those managers get away with such tactics because there is very limited workplace protection and there are always people who are desperate for work, so they don’t care about the turnovers.”- seimungbing

“Don’t forget having to deal with people coming in very last minute when you’ve been at work all damn day and just want to go home. I swear, people who do that shit are literal scum of the earth.”- tsalyers12

“The worst part about it is people will show up on holidays and make remarks like:

“wow they make you guys work on x holiday?”

And I always responded with “No, you make me work on x holiday.”

They’d probably give me the day off if people weren’t literally trying to spend money at a big box store on a holiday, so I have an unnatural hatred for people who think they should just run to the store on any major holiday.”- doomsdaymelody

“Not only that it’s now a prime target for shooting rampages. I have to watch the same video of “what to do in case of an active shooter” every so often. Each time I just think I don’t get paid enough for this shit.”- 

KresblainTheMagician

“I lost a friend that way. He was working long hours, and was already depressed. Then in the first months of the pandemic, people were particularly rude and abusive and his managers wouldn’t do anything and just overwork him. He was often yelled at by customers for things beyond his control.”- Asleep_Koala 

“I’ve never felt worse as a human being than working in customer service.

Being knowledgeable about the product and a willingness to help. Then getting constantly shit on by customers who’d turn me in to management then being forced to defend myself week in and week out for years..”-LoveIsOnTheWayOut

“I saved this guy $10 on an item by letting him know about an online coupon and did everything for him because he was older and didn’t understand tech much. After the transaction he counts his change and tells me I shorted him a dime. I apologized and gave him his dime. Before he leaves he tells me I should go back to school to learn how to count…”- Rabblerouser6

“I emphasize (meant to put empathize) with this. My “school in underwear“ nightmare is me serving tables or working retail again. I left those years behind long ago, but I still get bad dreams about those times.

Edited and leaving the original in because it’s funny”- Principal_B-Lewis

“I was very fortunate in my time in retail to only get three proper nutters.

I worked in the furniture department at Babies ‘R Us and a lady came in and asked if she brought in a sample of the furniture, could I identify it, match and and replace it?

I said I couldn’t, but I’d make an attempt to find it if it existed, but not to get her hopes up too much because we had a selection that rotated out pretty actively.

She seemed to think that was agreeable and then brought in an actual chip of wood (not a picture or a swatch) that was almost genuinely orange. However orange you could be without being painted that way.

All we had at the time was white, whitewash, a few brownish things and a reddish “cherry” brown. Nothing on the floor, so I looked through the special order catalog; nada.

She lost her mind and started swearing at me and called me deceitful and all kinds of other things.

The yelling attracted the attention of the assistant manager who stood there for about three seconds, long enough to go “Ah, this woman is batshit” and give me a sideways glance before saying, “____, I believe I can help this customer, can you do me a favor and go check on the Baby Italia stock in receiving?”

That wasn’t even specific enough to be actionable but I caught the hint, apologized to the woman for the misunderstanding and left.

Come to find out the chip wasn’t from baby furniture and wasn’t from our store. Amazingly, they actually found the thing based on other pieces she brought in which were marked, and found out it was from an old nightstand she bought in the ’70s (explains the orange).

That’s the burnout part for me. Not helping, not the confusion, not that the person has a genuine concern, but that they double-down on bad reactions unnecessarily while contributing nothing, and expect to not only be seen as reasonable, but that you’re a space alien for daring to deal with it in a professional manner based on your existing level of knowledge and training.

Hell, my department manager was like that. She never said a word to me, then brought me in to talk with both the manager and assistant manager, and complained my product fluency was lacking. At one point I said, “I wish you would have come to me first and let me know. I saw ____ the other day had a sash and a guidebook to learn about all the kinds of products, so I’ve felt kind of helpless, and when I asked you before about the best way to study up you said it was all by osmosis and experience.”

The managers cut things off right there because the first time I was finding out meant that there time was being wasted. Which meant she got pissed at me for being outed and claimed up and down she’d given me training materials before despite there being no evidence besides an assumption in her memory.”- credit_counselor

“I’ll say it every time, but when I was in retail (and this was many years ago) I could deal with the rude customers, what I couldn’t deal with was managers who forced you to enforce rules just so they could come skipping out of their office to say, “Oh we can do that for you!” and happily bend the rules so you could stand there looking like a jackass. Zero patience for that bullshit.”- shanthology

“Yeah, that part sucks. I got into this habit of being straight up with people about it.

“Unfortunately, I’ve been instructed by my manager that I can’t do that for you. But if you’re okay waiting, I can try and ask my head cashier or manager to help you.”

Sometimes they’d take me up on it, but there were plenty of times they didn’t. But I had a lot of good experiences because I figured out who to ask about what.” – YellowHammerDown

“This is the exact kind of company I’m working for right now. We have ridiculously strict policies about our products, to the point where I’m arguing with people more than not. Then I have to call my superior and they tell me to just make the customer happy. The fuck is the point of the policies if I’m just going to let things slide anyways????”- brahmen_noodle

“I still dread weekdays and have thought about quitting. Trouble is, my work experience lends toward interest from companies who need customer service workers. I feel completely stuck in a no-win scenario.

Try executive support, at least you’ll get paid well – even if you still have to deal with people who act like children, at least your customers have the money to go with the inflated sense of self worth.”- SpaceChevalier

“An old employer did this to me. I got a promotion doing back office work, and then one day they sent me back into Customer Service, because someone else went on maternity leave.

I was angry, depressed, and absolutely hated it. I made several complaints but they didn’t amount to anything. I applied for different jobs but didn’t hear anything.

I finally conceded I was stuck in life, and even when I would get moved back to my office job, there was no guarantee this wouldn’t happen again. So I went back to school. I spent 4 years working full time and being a full time student. I knew I needed a better resume (especially being an older college student), so I volunteered for everything at this crappy job. I become an invaluable team member. I was even given an award (lol) for being such a committed employee at an annual dinner.

And then I quit. My resume had a bunch of good stuff on it, I had a degree, and had lined up a new job with all these skills I had been working on.

The look my boss had on their face was priceless. They tried to counter offer but the new job was literally double what I was making and even more than my boss was paid so that wasn’t going to happen.

I’m not saying that path works for everyone, and it was a huge time commitment, but I was able to leverage all those awful customer service experiences for something positive. I hope you can do the same!”- Hambushed

“My first job as a teen was telemarketing. Awful idea. I did that for about 3 years.

I started developing high anxiety from the job but didn’t realize it. I ended up walking out twice because I just couldn’t do the job anymore. I was good at it, but I couldn’t bare the thought of being yelled at anymore.

A few years later I’m doing tech support because I want a career in the tech field. Nearly a year later I walk out of that job because I just couldn’t do it. I was good at doing the job, but I couldn’t bare the thought of being yelled at anymore.

Four years ago I try to do phone work again for a corporate ISP handling business internet, and I couldn’t last even a year. I’m almost begging my supervisors to let me train others on occasion because my anxiety is fucked whenever I’m on the phones. The supervisors didn’t give a single shit. So I started calling out often to avoid the anxiety. I was also going through a lot in my personal life and nearly committed suicide because it was all too much. The thought of ending my life seemed amazing compared to facing life for another day.

I walked out of that job ranked in the top 20 technicians out of 160 for 3 consecutive months after the supervisors gave zero shits about my performance. So I was good at the job, I just couldn’t bare being yelled at anymore.”- ilikethemaymays

“I’ve really, really been forcing myself to show patience during all of this. Part of that is the way I was raised, part of that was the decade-plus I spent in low level customer service jobs. I know how much these kinds of jobs suck under normal circumstances, and now you have idiots who won’t comply with mask orders and get upset when their favorite brand of Charmin is out of stock. Personally, I’ve noticed an increase in mistakes and even some rude behavior from people I interact with, but every time I’ve let it go. People under enormous stress all the time aren’t going to be at their best, the rest of us have to understand that. It’s not the guy running the register or the girl answering the phone who is at fault if things aren’t perfect.”- cugamer

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