Fierce

Latinxs Talk About Consent And How Their Parents Helped Them To Understand What It Meant

In the weeks following the allegations against Judge Brett Kavanaugh, discussions about consent and the #MeToo movement have gained more traction. Given the recent conversations about violence against women and discussions that dabble in “blurred lines” and question that the state of mind and memory of victims, our FIERCEteam talked about the meaning of consent and where we learned how to find our voice and say “no” when we want to.

Understanding respect for boundaries.

“My parents never really had a conversation with me about consent, at least none that I remember. I recall on a couple of occasions my mom just telling me that if i was dating someone, I had to make sure that I felt respected at all times (and vice versa), and that whoever I dated had to understand that “no” meant “no” and would never force me to do anything I didn’t want to do. It was always made clear that it was up to me where I wanted to draw the line, but the sooner I set my boundaries the easier it was, and to make sure I never led anyone on.” – Jess

Having the uncomfortable but necessary conversation.

“To be honest my mom didn’t really like to touch the subject from what I remember. Maybe I was too little to remember or understand? I know it is probably an awkward and hard talk to have with your kids. I do feel like it’s extremely important. One thing is for sure, my mom did let me know which parts were mine and that it was wrong if anyone touched me there. That is all. I guess she probably just wanted to throw it out there so I understood and so that she could move on from that “awkward” topic. To this day she does not like to talk about anything sexual to me. This could possibly be a common thing with Latino parents. Skipping over this talk, taking it lightly. I truly wish she could have been more open with me, even so right now.” – Jenny

Understanding it as a man.

“My mother always made sure to let my brother and I know that we have full autonomy over our own bodies. She’d say ‘Nobody has the right to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do. If you feel uncomfortable during any situation, call me and I will pick you up immediately, no questions asked.’ This was when I was in high school and wanted to go to parties. She was also very clear with us that the same way we had freedom and autonomy over our bodies, so did everyone else. We had no right to pressure others to do something they were uncomfortable with. It was something that she made clear was abhorrent and inexcusable. Just like we want to feel free to be ourselves without fear of being abused or mistreated, we need to see everyone else with the same fear and privilege to dictate what happens to their bodies.” – Jorge

The mom who used lessons on consent to empower.

“My mom raised my siblings and I very Catholic, so she always told us sex was for marriage. That aside, she also told us that our bodies were to be respected and treated like the most sacred thing. Growing up, I always thought she was overly strict when she would tell me things boys shouldn’t do, but now that I’m older I know that she was teaching me about consent and boundaries. She constantly reminded me that my body was mine and no one else’s property. She also role played with me and put me in pretend scenarios where she’d get close to me so that I would practice saying “stop” to the other person. I was very shy, so she did her best to strengthen me and teach me ways to be comfortable enough to say “no” and not clam up.” – Wendy

Learning it from home.

“My mom started having discussions with my siblings and me about our bodies and consent for as long as I can remember. Looking back it’s very clear that she was instilling in us the knowledge that we had autonomy over our bodies, a right to say “no” and understand that there are people out there in the world who take advantage. I remember her bringing up conversations around this rather frequently, whether it was on a drive to school or on our way to spend time with a family member. She always wanted us to know that  if anyone ever made us feel uncomfortable or weird or embarrassed about the way they interacted with us physically or verbally that we had to speak up for ourselves. We didn’t use words like “vagina” in our house, we used “totico” but my mom made sure we knew that this was ours and that no one was allowed to touch it. She also made sure we knew that it was wrong to touch other people. It went both ways. She harped on this a lot when it came to my twin brother especially. She’d also always tell us to say the word “no” and that if something made us feel uncomfortable we had to tell her. My mom was very big on letting us know that if an adult that wasn’t her or my father told us to keep a secret between the two of us or threatened us that they were wrong and that we had to tell her. Looking back I really appreciate that now. I think it’s definitely helped me on the few occasions that I felt as if someone was attempting to take advantage of me.” – Alex

On how not talking about it made things a little more complex.

“I never had the ‘talk’ with my parent about sexuality. My mom got pregnant with twins when she was only 19 years old, and it was very hard economically for my parents to raise them. When I got my first boyfriend, my mom’s only concern was that I should use always protection, she didn’t care if I had sex or no, as long as I use protection to avoid getting pregnant at a young age as her. I guess we never had the talk about consent because my mom never experienced it before, she just tells me that she will be there for me if I want to talk about it. I experience it for the first time in college and it was hard for me to say “no” because I never had the talk and at my catholic school they never taught us about sexuality, so I was really naive on the topic of sexuality and consent.” – Danna

The parents who used consent talks to share defense methods.

“As an only child having conversations about consent with my parents seemed to be a frequent discussion. Whether or not I wanted to listen to them back then, looking back now I know my parents were simply engraining confidence in me from a young age to defend myself in any given situation. When I was younger my parents enrolled me in self defense classes not as an extracurricular activity but more as an everyday practice. Although, I always found them to be strict I know they were doing their best job to project me.” – Victoria

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Investing Latina’s CEO Is Here To Tell You The Best Ways To Save You Money

Fierce

Investing Latina’s CEO Is Here To Tell You The Best Ways To Save You Money

investinglatina / Instagram

Saving money and investing it properly is tough. It is hard to know where to take your money to make the most of it. Fortunately, FIERCE is here with another chat with a money queen to make sure that you get the most of your money.

Jully-Alma Taveras is here to help you reach your money-saving goals.

Saving money is tough. How much should you set aside? Where do you keep it to make sure it is safe? When should you start? Taveras started Investing Latina two years ago to help people figure out the best way to start their savings journey. There are a lot of things to save for from retirement to big purchases to emergencies. Here is some of what Taveras had to say when our very own Sam sat down with her.

Sam: “Let’s talk about savings. What would you recommend people do to start saving today?”

Jully-Alma Taveras: “Savings is kind of the beginning of it all, right? It’s kind of where we start laying down the bricks and foundation to our financial house. When I say laying down bricks, that’s really what I mean. I mean that they are small and heavy but they build up. That’s exactly how you have to think about how you start saving. It really starts small. Nobody starts with $10,000 in their savings account. Nobody. Everybody starts putting in $25 per week. Fifty dollars per month. Whatever it is that you can do. You have to be able to just kind of put it aside.

“I always recommend using a savings account first. Your core savings account at a bank that you can easily access if you needed to access your savings and then having a bulb of savings to a high-yield saving account so that you can also use the technology that exists right now with high-yield savings accounts. You can have little envelopes so you are saving for designated things. You can save for specific goals.

“I think that when it comes to savings, you really do have to set a big goal for yourself, and then you kind of start working backward. Then you’re like, ‘Okay. My goal is to save $10,000 in 2021. That’s what I want to get to. I want to be able to have my 1,000 immediate little emergency need savings account with just $1,000 and then I want to have the rest into a high-yield savings account where I can really start building my money confidence. That’s what happens when we start saving money.”

S: “One of the things I know that we started chatting about was high-yield savings accounts. Can you go into some more details about what exactly that is for everyone?”

JAT: “When we talk about a high-yield savings account, it really is a way for you to put savings into a bank or institution, or nowadays it’s really just an app sometimes. You put it in a place,  secure place that’s FDIC-insured place, where you can get a higher interest rate than what typical savings accounts offer. When you open up a checking account, you’re automatically, or usually going to get the option of opening a savings account with our bank. The retail banks that we typically use, the ones that we can walk into, that we can have ATM cards you can easily access and have teller access are usually positioning themselves where they offer retail services.

“What happens with that is that they don’t give you a lot for holding onto your money. They’ll offer something like a free checking account or a free savings account. They won’t charge you for it depending on what category you’re in, especially teens or if you are in school. You can definitely get a free checking account. But, they won’t give a higher interest rate than likely .02 percent. What a high-yield savings account offers is a higher interest rate. These are usually with banks that you don’t normally see as you walk down Main Street in your neighborhood. We aren’t talking about the Chases the TD Banks the Citi Banks, right? These banks that we know and are familiar with because we see them on Main Street. We see them in our neighborhoods. They’re not typically going to have a high-yield savings account. They want you to just use their services, their savings accounts, and their checking accounts. That’s it and they’re just going to be happy holding on to your money while you transact and do what you have to do with your money.

“With high-yield savings accounts, those are typically going to be with banks that don’t have retail stores. Some examples are Marcus by Goldman Sachs. SoFi, which is one of my favorites because of the tech that they’ve implemented in their app and their website. Ally Bank. These are banks that we typically won’t see actual physical banks of but they do exist online.

“What they do, mechanically, just so you kind of understand what happens when you put money into a high-yield savings account, is truly, they’re actually, putting all of our money together and they’re kind of investing our money behind the scenes. That’s what happens. You have the security of your digitized dollars and you will never lose it because it’s not an investment account.

“That’s basically what’s happening. Just so you know. You can feel safe that your money is there. It’s FDIC insured or it is completely insured up to the $250,000. That’s typically what we get insurance on. Then you also make a little extra so you make a couple of dollars every month.”

Taveras has so much more to say about saving and investing. Watch the full video below!

READ: In The First Episode Of FIERCE’s ‘Money Moves,’ We Explore The All-Important Budget

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Latinas Share The Movies They Love To Watch With Their Friends

Entertainment

Latinas Share The Movies They Love To Watch With Their Friends

STXfilms

Sure, we’re still in quarantine but that doesn’t mean all female bonding goes out the window! Cuddling up with your friends and staying in for a good movie is still totally possible thanks to Zoom and wine. And while our options of views might seem to be dwindling thanks to a lack of content on streamers…

Fortunately, Latinas are coming together to share the best movies to watch.

Check them out below!
“Practical Magic” –jessica_546

“Birds of Prey.”- brainsbeastbeauty

“Bridesmaids.” –

“Mean Girls” –dominiricanmarie


Paramount Pictures


“13 going on 30!” –_mariaaceves

“Twilight.” –vivaloscupcakes

“Moulin Rouge.” –ninasandra

“Practical Magic. “ isabel__maria__

Warner Bros.
Roadshow Entertainment

“Selena.” –momma_bear_of4

“Bridesmaids & Mean Girls.” –glamit_gabby

“Romy & Michelle, Legally Blonde, Devil Wears Prada, How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days, the Wedding Planner, Sex & the City.”- mixtapemcgee

“Aquamarine.” –itz_me_otra_vez

“Hustlers.” –mellowagrelo


STXfilms

“Legally blonde!! HELLO!! My big fat Greek wedding, anything hallmark.” –luvgabz

“Coyote ugly.” –sugarandstorytime

“Now & Then.” –l.a.momma

NOW AND THEN, Thora Birch, Gaby Hoffman, Ashleigh Aston Moore, Christina Ricci, 1995


“Riding in Cars with boys.” –mrs.ssg415

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