Fierce

A Latina Reddit User Asked How People Felt About Non-Spanish Speakers And The Answers Were Eye-Opening

In 2017, a Pew Research Center study revealed that while there has neen an increase in the number of Latino Spanish speakers at home, the overall number of Latinos who speak Spanish has declined significantly in the past decade. Ultimately, the finding revealed that while the Latino population continues to grow significantly a smaller percentage of Latinos actually speak Spanish.

For many of us, particularly those of us Latinos who don’t speak Spanish, these findings cause us to carry quite a bit of guilt. After all growing up, many of us were told that understanding the language of our abuelos and padres was vital.

For Latinos that have heard the words “¿No habla español?” and felt terrible, the blow Reddit conversation is for you.

“First of all: You’re not any less Latina for not knowing Spanish. There are plenty of Asian-Americans who don’t know their parents language, European-Americans and so on. It’s your culture and your identity and no one can tell you what you are and what you aren’t based on not knowing a certain language.

Secondly, as others have said, you’re in an excellent spot if you want to learn Spanish since you have so many native speakers at your disposal. I’d say use the resources from this sub to self teach yourself, and when you get to a certain level, tell your friends and family what you want to achieve and see how they respond. I’m sure most of them would love to practice with you and help you learn, and worst case scenario if they don’t want to, you can keep self teaching and just respond to them in Spanish at times anyway. I’ve lived abroad for a bit and will-power is a main component of language learning: when people try to speak English to me I don’t fall to the pressure and reply the best I can in Spanish. Not exactly a direct equivalent, but my advice. Buena suerte con su aprendizaje.” – Maxmutinium

“I have a buddy who is half Mexican. He even got a scholarship for it. He can’t even speak to his own grandmother because he doesn’t speak Spanish and she doesn’t speak English.” –MyParentsAre_Cousins

“Does anyone else who is Latinx and does not know Spanish feel this way?

Yeah. Oh yeah. Bilingual parents but it was always English in the home and even with high school and college classes I never quote got it. I’ve been told to my face that I’m not a real Puerto Rican because of it. I am very much one, but I feel very distanced from my own people because of it, from the language barrier, to the exclusion, to the culture difference with not being around Spanish speakers, to being bitter about the whole thing.

Are you trying to learn? If so, what’s working best for you to learn it?

Yes, but I don’t tell people because they’ll start saying stuff I don’t understand or make a fuss over it. I prefer learning on my own terms. Duolingo has been my choice and it’s helped a lot. I feel like I’m starting to be able to think in Spanish which from what I know is a big step towards fluency.” –jclocks

“I’m in the same boat in a lot of ways. My parents didn’t speak much Spanish to me as a child and I only learned a sprinkling of words. In high school I hated spanish class because it made me feel inadequate. At family events I felt like an outsider when people switched to Spanish. I also was really frustrated when people asked me why I didn’t speak it since the assumption was that I had somehow chosen not to learn.

Two years ago I decided to commit to learning it. I went to Ecuador and spent 6 weeks taking one-on-one classes and living with a host family. Afterwards I could have broken conversations, but more importantly I was able to get past my fear of speaking in front of other Latinos. I don’t have the opportunity to do another immersion trip again in the near future, so this year I decided to really invest serious time into learning on my own. I do 5 hours of conversation a week with iTalki; I listen to Glossika on my commute to and from work; I do Anki flashcards every morning and I read Spanish articles using LingQ. I shoot for 2 hours minimum of active practice a day and I supplement that with listening to music in Spanish and Spanish podcasts. Even when I watch stuff in English on Netflix I put on Spanish subtitles to gain a little more exposure.

It’s working. I don’t consider myself fluent yet, but that’s only because my goals have become more ambitious (I want to have native-like proficiency). I’ve put about 500-600 hours worth of study in since I started and I can have conversations and listen to Ted Talks in Spanish. It feels great and I’ve learned a lot about my culture and other Latin cultures as a result.

If you’re willing to put the time in (many experts think it takes more than a 1,000 hours to hit a very high level of proficiency) you can do it too. But you really have to create clear goals and habits built around your learning. Last year I was stagnant and it’s because I didn’t have goals and habits to really develop my fluency. And while an immersion trip with classes can really jumpstart the learning process you don’t need it to become fluent so long as you plug in hour after hour into active exposure and study. Also, if you had exposure to spanish as a baby, you probably have an advantage. There’s studies linking exposure to a language in the early months to a lifelong capacity to make out the sounds of that language better than people who weren’t exposed to it as children. That really helps when it comes to listening and to developing an accent. A lot of my tutors tell me I don’t have the gringo accent, which is also really encouraging.” –eatmoreicecream

“I feel like shit that I grew up with Puerto Rican family, and Spanish speaking ALL around me and still don’t speak it at 28. I also had bilingual childhood friends. The environment was PERFECT for me to grow up fluent in two languages.

Yet here I am close to 30 and I can’t speak shit. I keep telling myself I want to learn but now I feel bummed out that I’m aging past being able to sound “native” anymore.

Double this is my father was disappointed I didn’t know not too long before he died and I feel like all the people who assume I’m fluent in Spanish when they approach is him nudging me on and still nagging for me to learn lol. There’s a definite guilt and “I’m ignoring an entire part of my awesome upbringing” thing going on.

Edit: Missed too many words in the first one that made it sound like I felt like shit about growing up in the environment instead of about not learning Spanish lol. Edit edit: One of my worst regrets is from elementary school, where a teacher asked us what a really simple word in Spanish meant. I knew it of course, but I stayed quiet for whatever dumb reason. Pretty sure that was to test the potential to learn before teaching us the language another missed opportunity to plant the seeds in my young mind. HINDSIGHT IS 20/20 DAMNIT.” –IniMiney

“Forget about sounding native, that’s only something that’s in your mind. You’re never too old to learn a language! I picked up Russian two years ago almost and I’m 35!”- Effervescent_513

“Don’t feel bad, it’s not true that you’ll need sound native. You have to dedicate yourself to training your ear to hearing exactly the sounds, and teaching your speech organ to produce some the new sounds. I really recommend Mimic Method for this. I’ve not even finished the Spanish course and I was confusing Spanish Speakers on holiday because whilst I looked and was foreign what little I knew was pronounced well (sorry, I am widening my doorframes.” –Brutussaid

“I’ve been called white washed and Gabacha (sp?) Because I don’t speak Spanish but have been surrounded by it my whole life. I even married and had a kid with a Latino, and his whole family speaks Spanish too! The only ones in my family that don’t know are me, my brother and sister. It’s so hard. I know a little, but not enough to hold a casual conversation. Everyone is too fast. Plus we’re friends with a lot of Salvadorians and that’s even harder to understand! There’s no way my kid is going to grow up without knowing 2 languages at least. I feel so alienated, some of my in laws’ friends think I’m either quiet or mean because I can’t even understand half of what they’re saying. I have to have someone actively translate for me just to be included in everything.” –MoistCreamPuffs

“I 100% relate to you. I hope to one day marry a Latino that knows Spanish so that way my kid will grow up with learning the language and maybe my future husband can help me too. I too feel alienated when I’m constantly surrounded by Spanish speakers and I barely understand what they’re saying, but with that being said I think both you and I have a great advantage to learn the language because we know so many Spanish speakers. With the help of redditor’s advice, I’m more than confident that it isn’t too late for us to learn! We got this girl!” –lrvxoxo

“Being Latina and not knowing spanish is one of the worst things ever… like I literally feel like a disgrace to my heritage.

Spanish is the language of the conquistadors. It is not the languages of the natives in most of the lands that the language dominates.

Try not to be too hard on yourself.

It will take time, but you can learn. It’s never too late to start! There are many, many free and low cost resources. ¡Buena suerte!” –confusedchild02

Spanish is the language of the conquistadors. It is not the languages of the natives in most of the lands that the language dominates.

The “conquistadors” are our ancestors too! It depends on the location too but Latin America unlike other parts of the world is a mixture from Spanish and the indigenous population in a bigger or smaller proportion. In other words it’s not like Spanish is a foreign language like French is in Africa and English is in India, it’s part of our culture as well and if you don’t speak it you do miss out a huge part of the culture.” –ffuentes

“Being Latina means she could be either 100% or 0% descended from indigenous people.

Though it’s irrelevant because the vast majority of modern Latin Americans have been speaking Spanish (or Portuguese) for generations, and very few identify with anything other than their nationality.” –Enmerkahr

“My ex was Mexican but didn’t speak Spanish. I studied it in school as a second language. He was no where near as good as me, but he had a really good foundation that I didn’t.

Something I struggle with as a non native speaker is that there are just so many words. If you remain consistent and study vocabulary, you’ll know a lot. But there are just so many things you don’t know because you have no reason to know.

Native speakers don’t really have that disadvantage. They’ve heard just about everything at some point even if they can’t recall it off of the top of their heads.

I’m willing to bet that if you started studying in a classroom setting, you’d be fluent in no time.” –TheMeanGirl

“It’s okay. There are a lot of us.” –LolliPoppies

“You situation is favorable over mine as a white guy, I know very few native Spanish speakers, much less that are willing to help me practice on a regular basis. Yo que tu, I would ask my parents to converse with me in Spanish as much as possible and you’ll learn super fast that way.” –TesticlesMcTitties

“I’ve told my parents to help me learn that way in the past & my parents will speak to me in Spanish for like an hour and then stop till the next time I ask, so it’s annoying constantly reminding them to talk to me in Spanish. But I’ll definitely push for it more because I’m sure if they were consistent, I would probably learn super fast as you said.” –lrvxoxo

“Even if you are not fluent, based on your surroundings can you pick up phrases? You might have heard many phrases and understand it but not explain it like a teacher. If this is the case, think of it like filling in the gaps. Never too late to learn.” –MisterE2k14

“I think phrases are the easiest to learn and I think that’s what I know most of, but then again like I said what I do know is very minimal. Thank you for the tip about filling in the gaps, I appreciate it!”- lrvxoxo

“I speak Spanish but not the languages of my grandparents and great-grandparents. I also always thought I was terrible as languages as a kid. Don’t sweat it! There are loads of resources you can download, perhaps more than for many other language. Also you have the advantage that people outside of your family you meet will presume you speak it, so just act like you do – I did. You definitely shouldn’t take this to heart or feel bad about it, but it can definitely act as a motivation. Learn a few stock phrases and just nod, search out group conversations where you don’t need to talk much, watch films and listen to music or podcasts about topics that interest you. Don’t stress about not catching everything; even if you’re a native speaker, you won’t get everything. If there are folks in your city (or extended family, friends) that are native Spanish speakers and struggling, try to spend time teaching them English. Also try to find native English learners of Spanish – you’ll be less nervous speaking to them. Things like Memrise, Lingvist, Clozemaster, Babadum are all great because they’re more active, since sometimes it’s difficult to pick stuff up if you’re only learning stuff passively.” –metalaffect

“In the same exact spot as you. Everyone in my entire extended family knows Spanish except for me and my brothers. It’s easily the thing I hate most about myself. And I feel like I barely have a close connection to most of my family because they have to communicate with me in their non native language and it’s hard to become close that way.

Once I finish my schooling which will actually be in a couple weeks, I plan to go hardcore with my Spanish learning. I have native speakers right at home in my parents so I hope that the process can go relatively smoothly and quickly.” –MrProfessor

“I’m Latino. My aunts, uncles all speak Spanish. My grandparents spoke Spanish. My mom spoke Spanish. But not me. I only knew a little bit from growing up around it but over the past year and a half I finally buckled down and started learning for real. I’m 46. I’m very proud of being Latino. My goal of learning Spanish has more to do with just being more open to non-US culture as well as just wanting to be able to converse in a language my family knows so well.

Oh, and of course I was called a ‘coconut’ by other Latino kids growing up – brown on the outside, white on the inside. But, hey, being Latino makes you thick skinned anyway, so I’m not worried about that. I’m not going to stop with Spanish.

I now fall into the category of ‘I can read it really well, but only pick up about 50% of what is spoken’. I don’t think I’m any less Latino because I never learned Spanish before, I do wish I’d learned before my grandmother passed. She did not speak much English and was fiercely proud of being Latina.

What worked for me was basically immersion, Duolingo, YouTube and Pimsluer, and not thinking I could learn in a month. You didn’t learn English in a month, and additionally, you learned by hearing first, which is kind of the opposite of how people try to learn a second language. You will almost immediately remember words or phrases that Spanish speaking people tell you/correct you on, but it’s a lot harder to just learn words and phrases on your own.

For me, I also discovered that working daily, often really devoting time to it, is best reinforced by not working as hard for a bit. It seems like my brain catches up – suddenly I’ll go back and watch a show on Univision or read a Spanish article and it’s like I can magically read far more than I could before.

Next step for me is a tutor. I’m at the point where I can speak broken Spanish, probably better than my grandmother spoke English. But I, like most people, want fluency.” –silverbax

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The Creepiest Confessions Made On Reddit

Culture

The Creepiest Confessions Made On Reddit

Jason LaVeris / Getty

Of course, we all have our secrets.

Things we hold tightly to our hearts and that we would never really feel comfortable sharing. Still, sometimes we can’t help but let things off our chests every once in a while. Users on Reddit know this truth, it’s why for years they’ve headed over to the platform to anonymously share their darkest and deepest.

Check out some of the creepiest secrets and confessions shared on Reddit below!

“That my mother was abusive to me as a kid. I kept it for 22 years. I told my dad a few months back. I told him in anger because I blamed him for letting it happen.

He truly didn’t know the extent, she kept it well hidden.

He then explained to me that he tried to protect me from her and he did when he was around. He told me he’d been in an abusive relationship with her. She separated him from every friend and family member he had. She took his entire paycheck and wouldn’t let him have a card.

She told him he couldn’t leave her because she’d never allow him to see me again.

My dads not perfect and he left me in dangerous situations but he tried at least. And now both of our 20+ year secrets are out to each other.

Edit: thank you so much for all of the positivity and pms it’s really made me smile today.”-originalusername1996

“There was a guy who confessed that he stalked a girl for a year, hacked her love interest’s computer, planted a load of evidence that love interest had been stalking her and was into a load of weird and creepy stuff, revealed it to girl, helped girl to get a restraining order on love interest, used that as his way in with the girl, and eventually married her … what the actual fuck.”- ashdelete

“Recently moved to a new place. My neighbor next house is 80 years old cool guy. We clicked off pretty good since he lives alone and i beeing on a road for so long at a time (truck driver) im single dude in mid 30s. He told me that his cousin used to be a truck driver as well. What he told me that none in his family(my neighboors) knew that he has had 2 families. One in a North Dakota and other in Nebraska. Dude was married to a 2 women and had a kids with both. He pulled it for 20 years neither of them knowing of the existence of the other. As a truck driver, i can totally see this beeing legit – Just sayin ‘honey, i have a load to deliver to…’”- _r6man_

“Sadly, I find these stories pretty easy to believe. I knew a naval officer whose job involved explaining benefits to bereaved spouses and families after the military spouse passed away. A surprisingly big part of this was explaining to people who thought they were widows that they weren’t… that there were no benefits, because their partner actually had a different legal spouse. Usually it was people failing to legally divorce and becoming a bigamist through laziness or ignorance, but more than once the deceased had been actively maintaining two households.”- Lampyrinae

“I have a relative who committed suicide, and next to their note, they left a small stack of things they wanted to be buried with. Several days after the funeral, the director of the funeral home called my mom and let her know that sadly, the items my relative wanted to be buried with did not get put in the coffin. It happens sometimes, and he told mom that they try to contact the family member who seems least likely to lose their shit over it. I’m paraphrasing of course, but my mom was the perfect person; the woman is unflappable. Mom went up to the funeral home and they returned the items to her. She told me the story once, and that nobody in the family knew, but that she wanted me to know where the items were in case she passed before she found an appropriate time to give the items to my relative’s kids (it was some photographs of my relative with family and friends, and then a wedding ring). The kids were very young so it wasn’t appropriate for her to give it to them at the time. It’s been well over 20 years, and I don’t think she has ever passed the things on. We have never discussed it again, and I haven’t ever told anyone. One day I am sure I’ll have to have that conversation with one or both of my relative’s kids, but until then, this is the only time I’ve said anything about it.”- Likely_Not_Your_Mom

“I killed my best friends fish while watching it for her while she was on vacation. Then I replaced it with a fish that looked nothing like it and told everyone that they were crazy for thinking that it wasn’t the same fish.

Edit- it was accidental, and the fishes were the same type of fish but they just didn’t look the same. i also watched it for two weeks and it just happened to die on the last day. And to top it off the fish that I bought to replace the other one died a week later.”- carrieuhome

“My parents have no idea that I didn’t graduate college when I said I did. In the spring of my senior year, I overloaded and took 6 classes instead of 5, in order to graduate on time. My grandmother passed away that semester, and in the aftermath I was so depressed that I barely passed 5 of the classes and failed the 6th entirely. My parents aren’t abusive, but I was living with them at the time and they would never have let me live it down. My school let me walk, so I just lied and told them I had finished. I already had a job lined up when I was supposed to have graduated, so I started working, and a year later I took an online course to finish my degree. My parents just think my diploma got messed up by the school, and that’s why it was late.”-SingProud28

“My sister’s cat died during the night a couple days ago, and I’m the one who found her in the morning. I lied to my sister about how I found her. I said she was lying on the ground and possibly had a heart attack (which would explain her eyes being wide open, I couldn’t close them).

I actually found her trapped, under the dining table, hanging between two chairs with her front legs, with her head back. She must have fallen and couldn’t free herself (she didn’t have good control of her claws anymore). She looked like Jesus on the cross, completely stiff from rigor mortis. I was fucking horrified and still can’t get the image out of my head. It hurts me so much to know that her last moments were of suffering. I now can’t ever tell my sister how it really happened.

Edit: To slightly soften the story, she was a very old cat, about to turn 20 years old. What was unbelievable was that it was on the morning of the day we had booked a vet appointment to put her to sleep. My sister actually feels relief that she died ‘naturally’ rather than being taken to a strange place she didn’t know. I can’t share the same sentiment, sadly, but I’m just relieved that she is relieved.”- Usidore_

“I am not deaf but I am hearing impaired and use hearing aids. About a year ago, I temporarily moved to a town in the United States and went into a market where a far too excited employee greeted me and I could tell she would never let up so I pretended to be deaf so she’d let me be.

I thought I’d move back home after a few months and only go there once or twice. It’s been a year and they have the best fresh produce. I’m there all the time.

She’s learning sign language to talk to me.”- Hiyagaja

“That my Dad was cheating on my mom. I found out during middle school/beginning of high school but kept it between my sister and me. We weren’t sure what to do. Today my mom found out while fighting with my dad. The secret just came out of me when he walked away and she wanted to go after him. She was first upset that I had been dealing with that four 5ish years, but later on she started to turn her anger about it towards me. Just laying in bed not sure how to continue. My parents have always fought since I was little and always put me in the middle of it so I shouldn’t be surprised.”- Reddit User

“my mom cheated on my dad a lot when i was growing up and i knew about it and it has always been one of the most painful things ive ever had to deal with. she was not only emotionally abusive and manipulative towards me (she knew i knew) but she was also physically abusive towards my brother and me. one time she picked my toddler brother up by his hair and threw him into a wall. i remember sitting on the stairs and just crying and covering my body because i was scared she was going to come for me next.

i tried talking this out with my most recent therapist because it is something i have never been able to fully process and work through. i usually just shove it deep down and if it starts to bubble up, i just shove it back down again. she was kind of dismissive and told me that all mother-daughter relationships are complicated.

im sorry you had to carry the weight of your dad’s secret around with you. that is so unfair, and it really robbed you of a “normal” childhood experience.”- mrschestnyspurplehat

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Reddit Users Are Sharing Advice On How To Get Over Your Fear Of Being Hurt By A New Partner

Things That Matter

Reddit Users Are Sharing Advice On How To Get Over Your Fear Of Being Hurt By A New Partner

NurPhoto / Getty

Heartache often proves to be a heck of a mountain to get over.

Isolating, physically and emotionally draining, and ultimately desperate, the feeling of having your heart split into can be a traumatizing one that can bleed into future relationships. No matter how healthy or new, the relationships we get into after heartbreaks can be difficult to navigate, and often times feel like a minefield of potential problems.

Users on Reddit know this truth and are doing their best to help us all get over our dating fears.

Check out some helpful insights below!

“By healthily distancing myself and having more to focus on in my life than a current relationship. I find that I have more trouble with these feelings when I’m lacking outside hobbies and friends. It’s easy to constantly worry about a new relationship when it’s the center of your world, and giving yourself space outside the relationship can also really help if you’re prone to being codependent on partners/spouses.”- SwirlyButterfly

“After certain number of heartbreaks, you start to realize you’ve always survived and you’ll survive if it happens again. Having a full life apart from the relationship is a big part of that.”- 1VulgarWoman

“When I started going on out the weekends with friends, it helped soooo much. I noticed when I was getting depressed I wasn’t going out at all. Giving myself the space allowed the relationship to flow perfectly.”- itristain

“By going slow. When my now fiance asked me out I was five months removed from being raped by two guys at a house party and was still really shaken up about it. I didn’t trust men, I didn’t crave sex or intimacy, I was anxious and hurt. But against my gut I agreed to go on the date and was delighted to find he was sweet and respected my wishes. After we’d been seeing each other for about three months I told him that I’d been assaulted and he was always there for emotional support. We’re getting married in August, our sex life is great and I’m infatuated with him. It just took time.”- Mineralista406

“I know that moving forward after a bad relationship I will never ignore red flags and chose partners with morals and goals similar to mine. Do not ignore red flags because you’re lonely. It’s not worth it.”- Melyjane312

“It’s hard because it took me a long time and a lot of conversations to feel secure and that i was finally with someone who wasn’t going to hurt me. And he said all of those right things with no doubts, no red flags etc. However sure enough one day- heart broken. So I don’t know how i will ever do it again.”- icecream112233

“Depends if you are with them, or want one right away.

For me, distance, u dont need someone else to be complete, put those standards high. If you want a loving gentle yet strong and dependable partner, manifest him.”- Koroklass

“I think it might be helpful to adopt a mindset where you realize people aren’t really going to change for you (unless you have a really special bond or something and you’re in a really deeply committed relationship where your partner is willing to compromise etc.) and that whatever they do is a reflection of who they are as a person and not who you are. Yeah you can communicate and if they choose to listen then great, If not well there’s almost always a choice on whether to stay or not. Sometimes it’s not that people want to hurt you it’s just that they simply don’t know better or they have some character “flaw” that speaks more about them. Or that due to timing or the nature of things it can’t work right now, or some people aren’t built for relationships, and that relationships can be vastly different with different people. No one is perfect and we can only do our best. And like what other people are saying, shift that focus onto yourself and work on being a good person living a happy and healthy life doing things that you love will help!”- imightforgetthis11

“Aww man… it took over a year. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and some months. I used to have bad anxiety. I never been in a healthy relationship. This feeling was sooo new to me. I felt so uneasy and still wouldn’t and couldn’t trust him. I prayed ALOT. And It was proven that I could trust him and just relax but I still couldn’t. I tried 3 therapist that didn’t help. I just wasted money. What helped me was reading books and going out with my friends. I am currently reading 4 books and reading them has helped my issues. It’s therapy for me. I read books about relationships and men and women. I learned more about myself. I got a relationship/life coach by researching the book and found that there are people who will coach you. She told me I get anxiety because I’m going against my feminine ways. I was trying to control my bf for no reason, nag him and etc. I stopped doing that and became relaxed. I focused on becoming a better person. I read books on being feminine in a relationship and I tried it. I started being more happy and just letting go. I stopped worrying and it feels great. I don’t think he will hurt me. I don’t have those thoughts anymore. I don’t think he’ll cheat either. He adores me so much and I get reminded of that every single day. I just sat back and did nothing and focused on ME. You have to fix yourself before you get into a relationship or else marriage will unravel it all and it could go bad. When I prayed I already had confirmation. I downloaded scripture apps and got more into prayer. If you’re religious then trusting God will help you trust yourself

I also learned that thinking negative has ALOT to do with it. I learned to only think positive and I’m normally happy the whole entire day. I just changed my life around. My coach also said when I change, my partner changes. He was always loving to me, but now he seems to have falling deeper.”- itristain

“Books have also been a huge help in my healing journey and figuring out how not only my partners, but I was hurting and sabotaging my relationships.”-Sea-Delay

“I am and always have been laid back, loving and trusting in my relationships. But they have always ended in the the guy treating me bad eventually (I have broken up with them pretty quick after such treatment). But now I always have a feeling they will betray me no matter how loving our relationship is, like they are always just pretending to be loving and will eventually be horrible to me and it makes me feel really sad.”- callmedeniro

“Time and taking things slowly in the beginning. Took me a while to get there but I worked through those feelings and got there eventually.”- kinkyspidersex

“My fiance came home from work and instead of helping my friend move that was standing right outside, he told me he actually didn’t love and dint want to be in this life with me anymore. So that was rough. I dont think… I have gotten over that fear? I still think about how my current, long term partner of almost 3 years might do that. And there’s not much I can do about it? It wasn’t my fault the first time, shit just happens, he might fall out of love with me this time too. I just remember those fears are mine,and not rational, and thats not fair to put on my current partner to make me feel better about.”- seeemilydostuf

“It all came down to the right man. He could have other women but he wants me. He doesn’t have to be with someone to be happy but he chooses to be with me. He never tells me something he doesn’t think is true. In light of all that I just can’t really imagine him hurting me or lying to me about how he feels… he’s just had so many opportunities to do something else and he hasn’t.”- phasestep

“Day by day, by being vulnerable with my new partner and most of the time he doesn’t let me down.”- StrongEye1738

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