Fierce

25 Things I Want To Say To My 25-Year-Old Self Now That I’m Over 30

When I was 25 years old, I went through a terrible quarter-life crisis. It was right in the middle of the recession and I had been job hunting for two years while trying to advance my career. Nothing was working, and I was terribly frustrated, angry, and lost. It was a pretty stereotypical tale, I know, but it felt like my world was crashing down at the time.

Of course, eventually, I learned to keep going, changed some things about my life (like dumping a bad boyfriend and moving from a job I was “meh” on to a job I loved), and my life improved. However, as I continued to age and turned 30 a couple of years ago, I realized that there are so many life lessons that I really wish I had been able to share with my younger self. From making sure I always get good sleep to knowing when to let go of friendships to going to therapy, here are the 25 things that I wish I could have said to my 25-year-old self now that I’m over 30. I may not have it all figured out yet, but at least I figured out a few things.

1. “Yes, you should throw yourself a doble quince when you turn 30.”

Instagram @cristinaisabelrivera

When I was 15 years old, my family didn’t have a lot of money so throwing a quinceañera was not even a consideration. So, instead, I had a small Sweet 16 and left it at that. However, around 25, I started to seriously regret my decision —and wish I had heard of a doble quince sooner. Thankfully, it’s never too late and I had my doble quince at 30 after all. I’ve even heard of someone doing a triple quince (at 45!) which, I have to admit, sounds very enticing.

2. “Mami is never going to stop calling and texting you daily, so stop being annoyed by it.”

Instagram @chicananerd

When I was in college, it was a family rule that I had to call my parents daily to let them know I was okay. They were helping to pay for my pricey university, so I figured it was only fair. Of course, this all continued after I graduated and became an actual independent adult. But the phone calls and daily texts never stopped. Sometimes, I still get annoyed by it but, to be honest, I’ve come to appreciate it too. Mami won’t be around forever, and I know this is just her showing me how much she cares.

3. “It’s not true what they say: You really CAN come home again.”

Instagram @robbinmangano

This is something that I heard a lot in my youth, but I am happy to tell you that it’s just not true. When I was 25 years old, I couldn’t imagine going back to my hometown. Then, a month after I turned 30, I happily returned home to take a breather from life in the big city and overhaul my career to be a full-time freelancer. It was scary, but also the best decision I ever made. Coming home was difficult, sure, but I wish I had known sooner that it was still an option.

4. “Please, please, please stop conveniently forgetting to bring your sunscreen to the beach.”

Instagram @sunsaferx

Okay, I admit that this is still a bit of an issue for me. After all, who doesn’t want that legendary JLo glow?! But the truth is that Jennifer Lopez doesn’t get that glow from the sun, but rather from beauty products. The woman just doesn’t risk skin cancer and, seriously, why are we doing that to ourselves by heading to the beach without sunscreen in our chic bags? This HAS to stop.

5. “Don’t forget to dream big… but don’t forget to relax and enjoy life, too.”

Instagram @fivefortheroadblog

When I was 25 years old, I was working hard to grow my career. At the time, I was switching from one job to another and ended up spending the next few years jumping from job to job in order to advance my skills. Although I don’t necessarily regret all of that, what I do regret is not taking a break. I needed to work fewer weekends, and spend more time with those I love. If only I could have that time back now, I would do things a bit differently for sure.

6. “The quarter-life crisis is real, but there’s no perfect age to have it all figured out.”

Instagram @paolavherrero

At 25 years old, many of us had the so-called quarter-life crisis when we freaked out about not having it all figured out. I definitely felt like I was a failure (not true), that my career was stalled (not true either), and that I had no clue what I was doing (kinda true). What I’ve learned since, though, is that there is no age at which we think we have everything figured out. We’re always growing and changing, and the sooner you accept that, the happier you’ll be.

7. “Get good sleep, get good sleep, GET GOOD SLEEP.”

Instagram @luxpillowsplus

Having recently read and loved the book Why We Sleep, I cannot even begin to tell you all of the important things that sleep does for us humans but just assume that it’s basically everything. A lesson that I wish I knew in my early 20s (and all through high school, to be honest) is that prioritizing sleep will give me more energy, make me more creative, a better employee, a calmer and happier person, and keep me healthy. If you’re not getting 7-9 hours every single night, then you’re doing life wrong.

8. “Learn how to budget. You’ll thank me later.”

Instagram @thebudgetmom

Look, nobody likes budgeting but we all have to learn it eventually. I spent much of my 20s not really understanding how budgeting works and, thus, living beyond my means. I had credit cards and abused them more than I care to admit. Thankfully, I eventually got my financial life in order but I definitely wish I had done it much sooner since the bad credit (from months when I couldn’t pay even my minimum on some cards) is still hurting me.

9. “It’s better to start that crazy, intense project than to keep dreaming for the next 5 years.”

Instagram @adrienneyoungbooks

Shortly before I turned 25 years old, I got an idea for a book. Now, seven years later, I am still working on that book. Granted, I didn’t actually start it until a couple years ago and I didn’t fully take it seriously until last year. It is a big undertaking but I let my dream just sit there for years because I was too afraid to even try. Now I realize what a disservice that was since if I had started it back when I first got this idea, I would have definitely finished it by now and moved on to the next one.

10. “Nurture your important friendships, but don’t be afraid to let others go.”

Instagram @hereisgina

I love my friends and I do my best to keep in touch with them, especially now that most of us live in different cities. From texting to monthly FaceTime dates to simply liking each other’s stuff on Instagram, there are a plethora of options for connecting these days. But I’ve also realized that there are some friends who don’t put in the effort to keep in touch with you, so I have learned to let go of those friendships. Sure, it’s heartbreaking, but friendship only works if you are both into it.

11. “Go to therapy. NOW. Please! Do not wait.”

Instagram @patriciabarbertherapy

I’ve been in therapy for about two years now and boy oh boy do I wish I had done this sooner. Although I’ve made some serious progress, I also know that there are still plenty of things that I am figuring out, both on my own and with my therapist. We as Latinos rarely take care of our mental health because it’s just so shameful to talk about it in our communities, which is why I didn’t do this sooner. I wish I had.

12. “While we’re on this, also start getting regular check-ups and not just OB-GYN.”

Instagram @sofiavergara

After I started going to therapy, someone wisely told me that we should all be going to a mental health professional at least once a year for a check-up, just as with other doctors. That’s when I realized that I hadn’t had a regular check-up in almost four years, other than my annual visit to the gynecologist. This is actually common for women, so I finally made a commitment to get everything checked out. I was 31 at the time and, although I was in mostly good health, there were definitely a few things that I should have gotten taken care of years ago.

13. “Start contributing to your 401k, even if you haven’t quite figured out what that is exactly.”

Instagram @one_percenters_

Putting money into savings has always been a problem for me, and it’s no easier now that I have started to seriously think about retirement. Retirement planning is not a simple conversation to have and, if I were really honest with you, I would tell you that I am doing the bare minimum. However, putting into a 401k (if your company offers it) is basically free money. If they don’t, then start researching other options. You don’t have to know everything to get started, but the sooner you start, the more money you’ll have when you retire.

14. “Stop dating the bad boys, and start giving the nice guys a chance.”

Instagram @msirinagonzalez

This was a lesson that I truly wish I had learned when I was 25 years old, when I dated the worst of the bad boys I went through. Although that relationship ended a few months later, it was still many years before I finally figured out that nice guys do NOT finish last (and I have the awesome husband to prove it now). In fact, nice guys (and gals) make excellent, loving, amazing, caring, supportive partners — and as an independent woman, I want someone who could be as great as I knew myself to be.

15. “Don’t let the fear of disappointing papi keep you from doing what you really love.”

Instagram @superhero.dad

Like many Latinos, and immigrants like myself in particular, I felt great pressure form my family to be successful. I did well in school, attended a good college, and started a career that my papi doesn’t really approve of and doesn’t really understand. He wants to see me be a success, but more on his own terms as a lawyer or a doctor. That’s not for me, but I had many doubts in my 20s about whether I was doing the right thing by chasing doing what I love instead of going with the more secure thing. I’d like to tell my younger self that doing what you love is really, truly worth it.

16. “Happiness is a choice. Work on it, and own it.”

Instagram @mutlulukpozu

Anyone who tells you that they’re deeply unhappy is either clinically depressed (and should likely see a medical professional) or hasn’t yet realized that happiness IS actually something that you can work on. There have been many studies done about this and, in particular, how the happiest people are those that have a lot of gratitude. It may sound hokey, but keeping a gratitude journal has been a really positive change in my life, and I really wish I would have done it during my rough 20s.

17. “Create something that matters: A podcast, a book, anything!”

Instagram @storyworldofem

This is something that I know a lot of us millennials feel: A desire to create something that matters. I don’t mean a legacy in the traditional sense, but so many of us have a need to do something creative or important to us. If I could speak to my 25-year-old self, I would tell her to take a chance and write that book she wants to write or start the podcast she’s been thinking about. The sooner you take chances, the more you will learn.

18. “Speak up for what you believe in, ALWAYS.”

Instagram @emmawise18

Although I was generally a pretty outspoken kid and young adult, I really wish I had done more in my 20s to conquer my fears and speak out for the things that I believe in. Considering what is happening in today’s political climate, I also wish that I had taken more time to volunteer for worthy causes when I could have instead of just spending my 20s stressing about my own damn self and my career. These days, I try to do what I can for immigrant rights, women’s right, LGBTQ+ rights, and more. If only I learned this lesson sooner.

19. “Meet people of other cultures. Travel. Make friends. Move somewhere else.”

Instagram @latinaslovetravel

There’s something truly special about going to a new country and making friends with someone completely unexpected. Unfortunately, I squandered most of the money I made in my 20s on necessities like food and rent (which are worth it) and things I now regret (like going out too much and buying clothes I can’t afford). Instead, I would tell my younger self to travel more, make friends everywhere in the world and, maybe, even consider moving somewhere else in the world for a while.

20. “Stop complaining about that bad boss and update your resume ASAP.”

Instagram @juicyblue_

My first job was a great experience but, ultimately, I didn’t love my boss. It’s not that he wasn’t a good person, but that we just didn’t work well together as a team. I wish that I had known what I know now about what it takes to be happy at work. I would have instead put all of my energy into finding a better working environment. These days, if someone tells me that they hate their job, I say: So have you updated your resume yet?

21. “Figure out your talents, and invest in yourself. Never stop growing.”

Instagram @girlboss

Often, we graduate from college and think that’s it. We’ve put in the work to learn and that’s all there is to it. Now we can go out into the world to work and live successful lives… but if you think you have stopped growing and learning after college, then you are seriously mistaken. Learning and growing as a person should be a lifelong process. These days I pride myself on investing some of the money I make from working into developing other talents and interests I have, like learning a new language or a new skill like video editing. It’s never too late to learn, and it’s always a good idea to keep doing it.

22. “The most successful people aren’t afraid of failure. They’re afraid to never try.”

Instagram @imginte

This piece of advice comes directly from a friend of mine who graduated with her MBA from a top university. During her graduation party, she imparted this little piece of advice: Almost none of the businesspeople and entrepreneurs she learned about were a success because their ideas were great, but rather because they kept trying and didn’t take failure personally. Almost nobody makes it on their first try but, with perseverance, you will eventually get there.

23. “Your thighs aren’t going anywhere, so you might as well start loving them now.”

Instagram @katwomanfit

I still struggle with this one a little bit because I simply do not love the way my thighs look. Growing up, I was a chubby kid that eventually grew into an overweight and ultimately morbidly obese adult. Although I am happy with where I am now, loving my body is still a lesson that I learn and relearn every day. I really wish I had known this at 25 though when I was way too harsh on myself and never appreciated the things that ARE actually positive about my body.

24. “Be kind, even when you’re having a bad day.”

Instagram @vicki_alford

You know how they say that a smile is contagious? Well, being a grumpy SOB is pretty contagious too. I experienced this personally when a coworker’s attitude spread from them to me to my boyfriend later that day. This cycle is a negative one, and it’s one that I have since tried to stay away from. Instead, I smile and attempt to be kind everywhere I go. Sure, it’s difficult to be kind to people I sincerely disagree with (like Trump supporters), but I still try — if not for their sake, then at least for my own.

25. “Life never ever stops changing so embrace that NOW and stop stressing.”

Instagram @kristimasonact

When I was 25, I really, really wanted to have life figured out. After all, that’s what the quarter-life crisis is all about, right? You’re a few years out of school and desperately wanting to be “on the right track.” Well, here’s some bad and good news: There IS no right track. It simply doesn’t exist. We can decide to do something today, and change our minds tomorrow. You can try something and fail, and do something else and succeed. There are no guarantees in life, but that’s what makes it pretty amazing too. It never stops changing, so embrace the change and go into it with your head held high.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Latinas Are Offering Advice To Undocumented Women, New Moms And Those Who Are Struggling On How To Receive Affordable Therapy

Fierce

Latinas Are Offering Advice To Undocumented Women, New Moms And Those Who Are Struggling On How To Receive Affordable Therapy

ClassicStock / Getty

Finding the best psychologist or mental health worker for you isn’t an easy feat.

For one, finding someone you feel you can trust enough to open up to about your insecurities and inner turmoils is hard enough but finding someone who is covered by your health insurance can be even more difficult. On top of that, factors like location and time often come into play. Women of color in particular face a certain type of challenge when it comes to mental health care. According to the American Psychological Association, just 5.3% of psychologists in the United States are Black. Eighty-three percent are white. This means finding a mental health provider who can connect with your personal experiences can be beyond difficult.

We asked our users on Fierce for mental health provider tips and received some pretty inciteful answers.

Check them out below!


“Ask about sliding scales (cost based on income), check with insurance provider, apply for government-funded health care benefits, seek support from your child’s school—can refer you to a provider, college students can ask about on-campus services, workplace can also direct you to resources. Being resourceful is so important especially when it comes to our well-being. Hope this helps.” –karinalizlu

“Just started BetterHelp and they offer financial assistance. Got matched with the first therapist that I actually like after 10 years of trying. Highly recommend!”-marilynscarlet

“Ask your HR department if they have an Employment Assistance Program. If they do it means that the employer covers a certain amount of sessions with a therapist, counselor, psychologist, etc. which means you pay nothing for those first few sessions. Some EAP’s also cover the first meeting with financial advisors, lawyers & a bunch of other things!”- dee_anes

“I agree! So many times I’ve needed therapy but I couldn’t afford it. I’ve had to use what I got.” –ladinesphotographypage

“TherapyForBlackGirls.com has a great directory for BIPOC and POC!”-eileen.the.machine

“BetterHelp and SimplePractice are remote licensed therapist that offer sliding scale as low as $75 a session.”-rocio_rami5
“Some insurances are covering copays on sessions because of the pandemic! Check with your insurance!”- b_diaz990

“If your insurance includes Teledoc, each therapy session is $5 out of pocket. Yes it’s virtual, but everything else is right now! I truly appreciate my therapist and I’m grateful it’s not $40 a session like it used to be.”- livsimplyfl

“BetterHelp offers financial assistance.” –yessikahwamiwez

“Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) is a good nationwide starting point: https://www.samhsa.gov.” – karinalizlu

“Check healingconnections-Therapy.com/blog. I’m a therapist and wrote a post on the accessibility of therapy. There’s therapy for every price point!” – gyera19

“Yes!!! 1000%. Many community colleges and universities have resources as part of student services. You can start there if you’re a student. Or reach out to a local therapist and ask if they know of local low cost options.” –runeatrepeat

“Federally qualified health care centers many times they offer counseling on a sliding fee scale!” –amor805

“If in Cali: reach out to Department of Mental Health. (DMH). If your child is under the age of 15 they can provide respite services. This is to help get a diagnosis or help families who have a child with a diagnosis.”- 143kimberly

“Hello! I am a graduate counseling student about to have my M.Ed in professional mental health counseling. Some long time friends and I have started a small business, and we’d love you to follow us along on our journey as well!” –mindful_resolutions4u

“We are Mindful Resolutions, a holistic wellness company that creates affordable courses based on the 8 dimensional model of wellness! Our goal is to bring wellness/mental health education and coping skills to people who wouldn’t normally be able to access or afford therapy, or for those who want an additional resource. A course is only $49.99 compared to $80 or more for an average therapy session!”- Mindful Resolutions


“Open season is coming up! Time to review your healthcare costs and make sure your insurance meets your needs. If there are barriers to preventing you from affording health insurance, check out state or local Medicaid and ACÁ options.” –brittsticks

@openpathpsychotherapy has sessions from $30-$60 and a wide selection of therapists that you can select based on their intersections (race, gender, etc) and what they specialize in.” –gangstahippie04


@backtalkservices has been a great resource for providing BIPOC LGBTQ folx with therapy.”- tytanjames

@openpathpsychotherapy one time membership fee then you can see a therapist for less than $60 a session. However much you and the therapist agree to. Highly recommend!” –mssantoyo

“Check out Therapists on @openpathpsychotherapy1w.” –therapy.girl

“For essential workers in California, therapy is being provided for free through www.covid19counselingca.com. @latinxtherapy is offering free therapy to farm workers and janitorial workers currently working in hospital settings anywhere in the US. And finally, for all others, @openpathpsychotherapy offers low cost therapy throughout the US.” –julimuli246

@contigo_wellness Nonprofit created to help make therapy more accessible!” –angelrod8032

@fiercebymitu we host free virtual Pranic Healing nights every Tuesday from 7:30pm to 10pm. The participant will enjoy twenty five minutes of energy healing focused on reducing stress, anxiety and tension. Please dm me for more info.”-marcelaarrietaofficial

@marinalcsw if you have any recommendations.”- leeladm

@therapyforlatinx has an incredible database of therapists!”- diosa_yesi

“Free therapy for undocumented youth through @immigrantsrising1w.” –yessbianca

“Affordable mental health care is important, but what about the wait times? My mother tried to get therapy but had to wait 6months before getting a session. This was BEFORE the pandemic. When affordable is important, so is wait time.”- hannibelle_

@fiercebymitu Cannabis can be used to check in and get a mental break. @calibueno.co we bring clean cannabis to diverse communities in the SF Bays area.” –calibueno.co

“If you’re in austin, tx there is sliding scale therapy and psychiatric care they austin Travis county integral care.” –ernipie

“National Sexual Assault/Domestic Violence Hotlines like 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) can connect Survivors with local centers that offer many services—some include therapists and psychiatrists for medication, as well.” –godwasawoman

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com

Comadre A Comadre: Biden Invites Latina ‘Comadres’ To Join The Political Movement And Vote

Things That Matter

Comadre A Comadre: Biden Invites Latina ‘Comadres’ To Join The Political Movement And Vote

Marco Bello / Getty Images

The Latino community is a core part of the American story and it’s about time that our community is represented at all levels of government. As Latinos, we have endured generations of hate, racism, and cruel immigration policies that have left our communities wounded and in fear.

Although both Joe Biden and Donald Trump are trying to court the Latino vote to help push them over the finish line come November’s election, only Joe Biden has demonstrated his willingness to work alongside leading Latino voices.

To demonstrate that commitment, the Biden campaign has launched several grassroots movements meant to help build momentum and trust among the Latino community.

The Biden campaign has helped launch Comadre A Comadre, a campaign to bring together the Latino community in support of Democratic candidates.

Comadre A ComadrePosted by We are mitú on Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Women for Biden and Todos con Biden recently launched Comadre a Comadre. The nationwide initiative encourages Latinas to engage in politics and mobilize the vote for the 2020 election.

 “We know that the pathway to the White House is through the Latino community, and we know Latinas are the heart of our communities,” said Rep García. “It’s important that all of us–whether it’s our tía, our abuela, our comadre, our friend, our sister, our girlfriend–tell each other why this race is so important.”

Laura Jiménez, Latino Engagement Director for the Biden campaign explains: “Las comadres means a group of girlfriends, sisters, or close friends, and as we launch Comadre a Comadre, we want to bring the Latinas together and empower them to vote. There are so many of us who support Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, and we want to inspire a sense of unity, closeness, and strength as we work to get them elected.”

That unity, closeness, and strength is what they hope to achieve with this initiative, bringing Latinas together to mobilize for leadership that supports our community. Both Congresswomen are trailblazers in their own right: Mucarsel-Powell is the first Ecuadorian-American and South American immigrant member of Congress, while Garcia in one of the first Latinas to represent Texas.

The launch event was held online and featured leading Latina voices.

Launched last week, the debut event featured Congresswomen Debbie Mucarsel-Powell and Sylvia Garcia, who guided a conversation on the importance of the Latinx vote in battleground states like Florida. They were joined by Floridian community leaders Sonia Succar Ferré and Daniela Ferrera–two Latinas who are ready to get Biden and Harris elected.

Comadres love the chisme, and this time, the chisme is political. Throughout the hour-long conversation, they touched on some of the issues that disproportionately affect Latinx communities.

When asked about her hopes for Florida’s future, Sonia mentioned her concern about the mishandling of the COVID-19 crisis and the disregard for climate change. “Climate is something that we recognize is at our doorstep…we are a coastal community surrounded by water at all sides, and I want a leader and an administration that takes science, health data, and information seriously.”

“I want to help mobilize my fellow Puerto Ricans to realize that our future, our children’s future, and our environment are dependent on what we can do and how we can help deliver a win for Vice president Biden and Senator Harris,” shared Sonia.

Latinos will make up the largest racial minority in the electorate this year and candidates are working hard to get the vote.

For the first time in history, Latinos will be the largest minority in the electorate, with more than 32 million Latinos eligible to vote nationwide in the 2020 election. Comadre a Comadre is meant to highlight Latinas’ political power and to show what’s at stake for our community in this election.

Women are more likely to vote than men and Latinas are even more key to engaging our community since we tend to encourage our friends and family to vote as well. But don’t worry if you missed this kick off event. Comadre a Comadre has a full calendar of events, encouraging participants to join bilingual phone banks organized by the Biden campaign. For more information, check out their website here.

Notice any needed corrections? Please email us at corrections@wearemitu.com