So, for this Father’s Day, I wanted to write my pops a letter. To thank him, not necessarily for being a great father to me, a very loving husband to my mom, and an amazing abuelo to my daughter… but for being him.

Because he’s obviously my dad and half of the reason I exist. But I don’t think of him only as “dad.” He’s also one of my best friends, one of my first ones at that. And I wouldn’t be half the father I am today without him. And that’s not to say that he’s perfect, nobody is! But the countless pieces of advice he’s given me over the years, ways that I’ve seen him overcome life’s hurdles, and real sh•t conversations we’ve had when we just happen to be the only ones in the car on our way to pick up take-out for family dinner.

What I’m trying to get at is that everything you do and say doesn’t go unnoticed and has a greater impact than you can imagine, Dad.

First off, you’ve taught me the importance of showing up. While many people “hate Mondays,” that was actually my favorite day of the week. Why? It was my dad’s only day off; the other six days of the week were spent working two different jobs. But he would have a 2-3-hour break in between, during which he would come home to rest, eat lunch with us, freshen up, and head back out for his second job.

This schedule was his day-to-day for years. It wasn’t until I was 18 or so that he got a different job and was able to work one single job to support the family and have a more accommodating schedule. But essentially, for decades, he had that schedule, and even though he was “booked and busy,” he was always there and present when he wasn’t at work.

Again, Mondays were his only day off, and it was the best day of the week for me because that was the day dad was off, and he would make it a point to accompany my mom to pick us up from school. And some Mondays, we’d splurge and go to Chuck E Cheese after school (if our homework for the day wasn’t too heavy), or we’d go shopping and run errands together if stuff was needed for the house.

No matter what the plan was, he’d make sure to get the most of his time with his wife and kids, and trust Dad, I noticed.

And I make it a point to make the most of my free time and spend it with my wife and daughter. And that doesn’t mean that every living moment that “I’m off from work,” I’m with my wife and daughter. But I guess I mean it more in the way that if there’s a brief window of time for playing at the park with my daughter or a few hours to run errands with my girls in a packed day, I’m taking advantage of that time.

Because, as cliché as it sounds, time does truly fly by, and I’m sure there were many days off that my dad was tired, and he could’ve definitely used a good sleep and canceled all plans with us, but that was never the case.

Another thing that you are is very affectionate.

Don’t get me wrong, the “Latino dad stereotype” of our dads being stoic and “scary” was there at times. But hey, I don’t blame you for being stern when my sister and I were misbehaving or not listening. Trust, I get it now… like you and mom would say, “cuando tengas tus niños te vas a recordar de mí,” and damn do I remember.

But anyways, now I love nothing more than giving you a hug and kiss on the cheek whenever I see you, but I remember as a kid I was a little embarrassed when you’d say bye at school drop off and give me a kiss on the cheek before I’d hop out of the car. I guess I was a little embarrassed. Dads don’t kiss their sons goodbye. That’s mom’s job, right? Or was it just stupid societal norms? I don’t know, but regardless, because of you and my mom always being affectionate with us, I’m obviously affectionate with my wife and daughter. Maybe a little too much, that 20 big bear hugs back to back might overstimulate them.

But my affection goes beyond my family. It’s also very much alive in relationships that I have with my near and dear childhood friends. Obviously, when you link up with your boys, a dap-up and a hug are in order. But when it’s been a minute since I’ve connected with my friend, a  “bro, I missed you” might come up. Or maybe a friend is telling me about a life update they’re extremely happy about; I might hit them with “I love you, bro, and I’m so fucking happy for you.”

And all this to say that again, it’s because of you, Dad.

Staying friends with your friends from elementary school and high school is one thing. But I’d like to think that the bond that I have with my homeboys is legit. And that’s why, to this day, even if some of us have had kids, moved far away, or are just busier because of our careers, we still truly care about each other and “simp out” when we miss each other or are just pumped about plans to hit up Chilis when everyone’s day off happens to line up.

Lastly, thank you for always keeping it real.

As we all know, life isn’t perfect and isn’t always rainbows and sunshine. And that’s not to say that you put any kind of “adult issues” tied to finances or family drama onto me as a child. But as life would have it, you’d do your best to explain the situation and show that it’s okay to embrace emotions. Sometimes a life event might make you nervous or scared, or sometimes you just need a good cry. And you showed me that that is okay!

I’ll never forget the first time I saw you cry.

We were at a funeral for my tio, your brother, who passed away. You explained what was going on and how people might be feeling or react to a death in the family. We understood and were obviously sad and cried as well. But seeing you, my big, strong dad, who was never scared or shed a tear, seeing tears run down your face showed me that, hey, even the toughest dude you know has feelings, too, and it’s totally okay to feel them.

But it also showed me that as humans, we’re all dealing with something.

And while we might feel this pressure to be strong and pretend like everything is okay, when it’s obviously not, it’s completely fine to feel and express your emotions. Be happy, be sad, don’t suppress how you feel inside.

I know this is a very personal letter from me to my dad. But I wanted to open up and share this in hopes that if you saw your dad or any other figure in your life that is near and dear to you in any of my stories above, that you reach out and just say “hey, hope you’re well” or “hey, I saw this post and thought of you, so I just wanted to call”

And ultimately again, this is all based on my relationship with my dad. But dad-to-dad, I also wanted to use this piece to wish all the dads who may come across this a very happy Father’s Day. Please remember not to be so hard on yourself. Please know that you’re killing it. And even if they are having “one of those days,” don’t forget that every day is a new day.

Once more, Happy Father’s Day to my dad and all the dads out there.

Love, Alejandro.

Tags: Father's Day