Ghosted by La Llorona? Here’s How Latino Legends Would Slay on a Dating App (Creepy-Cute Vibes Only)
It’s spooky season, and you know what that means. That’s right. Love is in the air for the monsters and creatures that our parents used to terrorize us our entire childhood.
Just because they spend their time trying to make us behave doesn’t mean that they don’t want to be matched with the love of their lives. Why should La Ciguapa wander forever alone? Who doesn’t want to fall in love with a cuddly Hombre Gato?
Well, we did some digging and found their dating profiles on the definitely, totally real dating app Slashr, which is made just for monsters. Here are just a few of the “creepy” creatures out there looking for love under beds, in the woods, and late at night.
La Llorona
La Llorona has a long history of being told that she is a bad mother and has roamed the world yearning to create a family again. As you can see, she is clearly ready to get back to the mothering role she was meant to have. Sure, she allegedly drowned her children in the river to get back at her husband for cheating on her. But she is out there mourning her actions and aren’t we a society that prides itself on redemption?
El Cucuy
People are always complaining that they can’t find someone who will be with them through thick and thin. Well, El Cucuy is someone who is always there. How many times did you hear your parents tell you that El Cucuy was just outside the window waiting to hear whether or not he could take you?
Honestly, in this day and age, it is good to know that you can still find someone who will always be there, even when you think you want to be alone.
La Ciguapa
Okay. Here me out. La Ciguapa has built her whole reputation in getting cheating, no good men off the streets. It seems like a scary situation but she has been one of the real ones and held people accountable. Because of her tireless work in making sure that love survives and people are faithful, it just seems right that she finally finds love. Island girls need love too.
El Hombre Gato
Cute. Cuddly. Loyal. That is what you get from El Hombre Gato. The man is a night owl so he is the perfect match for those who like to be up late at night to take in the world from a different perspective. Isn’t a different perspective what you need from time to time to keep things fresh and exciting?
Well, El Hombre Gato is always there to cuddle you when you need a daytime nap or is willing to go on wild nighttime adventures. Best of both worlds!
El Huay Chivo
Give it up for this code-switching king! El Huay Chivo might be a little old-school. After all, he is a big believer and follower of the Mayan way of life. He is also the expert code switcher, depending on the situation.
Wouldn’t it be great to find someone who can seamlessly fit in with all of your friends and family? Gamer brother? Covered. Farmer bestie? Covered. Worried and over-caution Mom? Covered.
La Mano Peluda
Are you someone who loves long cuddle sessions in bed? Well, La Mano Peluda is the perfect match. People might want to paint them as someone who just hides under the bed to scare you, but have you ever thought that they are just waiting for their true love?
La Mano Peluda might make keeping your house clean a little bit harder, but wouldn’t it be nice to have an extra hand around the house for chores? Just saying.
