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Women Are Sharing Their ‘I’m The One Paying For This, Not My Husband’ Moments And They’re Pretty Cringy

It’s 2021 y’all which means we’re a far cry away from 1974 when it only just became law that credit card companies had to issue cards to women without their husband’s signature. Still, here we are living in a world in which a Reddit post about related issues of today is going viral.

Recently a user by the name of teacherspet5859438e asked women of Reddit to share the times someone wrongly assumed they weren’t picking up the check.

The comments and stories in response to the post came in the thousands.

Check it out below!

“I hope this doesn’t get buried because it’s my absolute favorite thing. My husband and I were buying a new mattress. It was a joint decision on the feel of it, but my decision for the price-point/warranty/etc because I was paying for it. In other words, all the stuff we actually needed the salesperson for. Salesperson was a fine guy, old-fashioned, not overtly rude, but he was definitely talking to my husband more than to me (the one with the money to pay). I noticed but, eh, I’m used to it, I was going to get my info and pay the man. Whatever. My husband, bless him, wandered away all floaty, like he’d never seen a furniture store before (weird, but ok). Then he came back and said, “Hey, can I have some money? I’m going to go check out the (insert dumb little decorative thing in the other part of the store).” I was weirded out because I have never seen him care about a lamp enough to go examine it on his own and also we don’t… we don’t do that? But yeah, I said, sure, and handed him some cash. The salesman IMMEDIATELY stopped paying attention to my husband. Suddenly, in his mind, I was wearing all the pants. He started asking me what I did for a living, etc and I was able to negotiate for a slightly lower price. I love my husband so much. He knew exactly what he was doing.” –HansGruberHangover

“Wasn’t my husband, not even my boyfriend, but a guy friend I happened to have round when a joiner came to fix something in MY home. I welcomed the joiner in, started talking to him about the issue, then he saw my friend and did a 180° to talk to him. He literally turned his back on me while I was mid-sentence. In MY home.”- autumnrenarde

“This is such a common thing. At this point it is humorous because I am the one who is home more and likes to tinker with things, so when something breaks I am the one who can explain the history of things and what fixes I have attempted. My husband doesn’t know the first thing about dishwashers or dryers or chimney sweeping, for example.

Sometimes I refer to myself as Andy in emails to avoid being patronized. It is a reasonable nickname for my name, yet one I never normally use. But people automatically assume they are talking to a guy and I get a different attitude. Sad but true.” –Liepuzieds

“My scenario doesn’t quite fit the bill but I’m a female business owner with a male business partner. I’ve had a few customers born in the dark ages and reps that ask to “speak to my boss” but the worst was a guy who snapped his fingers and told me to “put the kettle on girly”. Needless to say he didn’t get his cuppa and he certainly didn’t get the discount he asked for.” –Blondeinsideandout

“So a while back my wife and I were hitting up local dealerships trying to find a replacement car for her 2006 Nissan subcompact. The first thing I would tell each salesman was that we were shopping around for a daily for her to drive. Honda dealership was stereotypical car salesman “We can’t even let her take a test drive unless she shows intent to buy” Ford dealership ignored her completely and tried to sell me a mustang. Toyota was like, “oh you must want to look at our (insert soccer mom vehicle here)”

But when we got to Mazda I told the sales guy the same thing that we were looking for her next car, and he immediately nodded, turned to her and asked “what do you look for in a car?” And then he just listened to her. He didn’t ask me anything for the rest of the time we were there, focused entirely on her and answering her questions. Never rushed her or pushed her towards a different model. So yeah we’ll probably be getting her a soul red Mazda3 cuz of that guy.” –Raeshkae

“When I was a baby for some reason I wouldn’t “latch on” when my mother breast fed me, so I wasn’t eating well. The doctor completely ignored my mom and only talked to my dad because she was “too hysterical”… He was on the verge of finding out what that looked like…”- TheHitListz

“We wanted a fence around our house. I have always worked from home, and my husband has always worked in a field where he cannot take time to meet with contractors, etc. he and I agree on terms up front and then I make decisions from there. It doesn’t matter in life, but for this story it does: I make more than my husband. We had already agreed on this company based on various factors. A man came over to give an estimate during a work day, which ended up being less than we expected to pay. I was ready to sign the papers and he said “I’d rather talk to your husband about the numbers and get his signature since he will be the one paying for it” I asked him to leave my property and never come back.” –Diligent-Reaction-23

“I also recently went to buy a car during a work day. My husbands car broke down and he was in the middle of a tow. It was a nightmare, and he needed a car ASAP. We had been saving for a replacement, but weren’t expecting to need it for another year. This, we had the cash to buy the car he wanted full out. I went to the dealership with the specs, etc to just get the deal done quick. He asked me if I could come back later in the day with my husband so they could talk “man to man” about the deal. I let him know he just lost a cash deal. I drove 30 minutes to a sister- dealership and made the purchase there. I told the new salesman about my experience at the previous dealership and he said he knew the guy and he was going to rub it in his face at the next regional meeting.” –Diligent-Reaction-23

“I took my colleague out to lunch. He wasn’t a subordinate he was at the same level, however I was given a company card and he wasn’t, due to the nature of our jobs. When the bill came around, the waitress gave it to him because she assumed he would be paying. He graciously grabbed the bill and gave it to me and said “she’s the boss”. Smart move: made me feel validated, and he got a free lunch.” –leafypaq

“I’ve been on the flip side of this. For years, I worked at bicycle shops and regularly sold some pretty expensive bikes. One day, a couple came in. The wife was interested in a bike, and it quickly became apparent that the husband was an overpowering, dominating type. “She wants to do this, she doesn’t want to do that, she likes this, she doesn’t like that” etc. When it became clear she wasn’t being allowed to do much speaking at all, I would let the husband as the question, and I’d reply by physically turning and giving the answer to the wife, making eye contact with her only and pointedly ignoring the husband. It was pretty blatant. She loved it. She lit up, engaged with me, and genuinely seemed to enjoy the process of learning more about riding and getting into a new sport/hobby.” –Cessnateur

“Yeah this side is rough, especially in the tattoo industry. The amount of couples that come in and the husband won’t let the wife talk about the tattoo SHE wants on her body.

Fortunately it’s an Industry where getting told to fuck off is not uncommon, so saying “mate! If you keep talking over the top of your partner, this is going to be a fucking shit tattoo, so how about you wait outside while we finish the consult” is rarely frowned upon. it never goes down well, but fuck those dudes.” –Dormantgoose

“Went to a wedding, had someone there I knew from school and I met his wife. Anytime I’d ask her something he would answer. But I’d ask her cause it was the first time meeting her and I knew her husband. He was controlling and wouldn’t let her talk. I finally got creative and started asking her super girly stuff so that he couldn’t answer. Asked her if she did her own nails and how she did it. I only made eye contact with her and her husband finally shut up.” –treehouseladder

“This. I’m a woman. Where I work I frequently have meetings with couples. It’s SO sad to see how many men demean or try to make their wives look stupid in front of me. I will always defend the wife’s point, or talk directly to her and stop engaging with the man when that happens. It’s actually sad that this happens in the first place and almost always makes me worry about their general well-being in life.” –Xmrtq99

“It’s not so much a particular story but when I was shopping for a car several years ago the salesmen at every dealership kept talking to my husband instead of me even though I was the one who contacted the dealerships and made sure to introduce myself first. My husband got sick of it and started telling them ‘Don’t talk to me, it’s not my car. Talk to her.’ I wound up buying from a saleswoman who treated us equally until she pretty quickly figured out my husband was not involved whatsoever in the decision.” –Dakizo

“Husband and I took my daughter to urgent care for stitches. Husband is holding the kid, and I check her in at the front desk iPad. Front desk man looks to my husband and asks for the insurance card…. we’re on my insurance so I hand him the card. Next he tells my husband the copay, looking at him, behind me, when I’m the one standing at the damn desk. I pull out my card with my name on it, and pay. Asshole.” –Fire-Kissed

“25 years ago my husband and I are looking for our first house. He had just graduated and still had student debt. I had been practicing law and had 20k saved for the downpayment. Real estate agent only spoke to husband, even if I asked the questions. In one house we went to look at the basement and the guy says “you don’t want to go there. It has spiders.” I told my husband I wouldn’t ever buy a house from him. Later the guy ran for office and I told everyone the story including a woman that called me randomly to promote his candidacy. Turns out she was his mother. It’s a small thing but indicative of his attitude toward ‘the fairer sex.’” –defenselaywer

“I am the money person in our relationship and this happens to me all the time. Every car we’ve bought, place we’ve rented, investment we’ve made, you name it. My husband is now very confident in telling the people that if they keep trying to talk to him about it the only decision he will be able to make is telling them to get lost.” –RealCouchwife

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Reddit Users Are Sharing Advice On How To Get Over Your Fear Of Being Hurt By A New Partner

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Reddit Users Are Sharing Advice On How To Get Over Your Fear Of Being Hurt By A New Partner

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Heartache often proves to be a heck of a mountain to get over.

Isolating, physically and emotionally draining, and ultimately desperate, the feeling of having your heart split into can be a traumatizing one that can bleed into future relationships. No matter how healthy or new, the relationships we get into after heartbreaks can be difficult to navigate, and often times feel like a minefield of potential problems.

Users on Reddit know this truth and are doing their best to help us all get over our dating fears.

Check out some helpful insights below!

“By healthily distancing myself and having more to focus on in my life than a current relationship. I find that I have more trouble with these feelings when I’m lacking outside hobbies and friends. It’s easy to constantly worry about a new relationship when it’s the center of your world, and giving yourself space outside the relationship can also really help if you’re prone to being codependent on partners/spouses.”- SwirlyButterfly

“After certain number of heartbreaks, you start to realize you’ve always survived and you’ll survive if it happens again. Having a full life apart from the relationship is a big part of that.”- 1VulgarWoman

“When I started going on out the weekends with friends, it helped soooo much. I noticed when I was getting depressed I wasn’t going out at all. Giving myself the space allowed the relationship to flow perfectly.”- itristain

“By going slow. When my now fiance asked me out I was five months removed from being raped by two guys at a house party and was still really shaken up about it. I didn’t trust men, I didn’t crave sex or intimacy, I was anxious and hurt. But against my gut I agreed to go on the date and was delighted to find he was sweet and respected my wishes. After we’d been seeing each other for about three months I told him that I’d been assaulted and he was always there for emotional support. We’re getting married in August, our sex life is great and I’m infatuated with him. It just took time.”- Mineralista406

“I know that moving forward after a bad relationship I will never ignore red flags and chose partners with morals and goals similar to mine. Do not ignore red flags because you’re lonely. It’s not worth it.”- Melyjane312

“It’s hard because it took me a long time and a lot of conversations to feel secure and that i was finally with someone who wasn’t going to hurt me. And he said all of those right things with no doubts, no red flags etc. However sure enough one day- heart broken. So I don’t know how i will ever do it again.”- icecream112233

“Depends if you are with them, or want one right away.

For me, distance, u dont need someone else to be complete, put those standards high. If you want a loving gentle yet strong and dependable partner, manifest him.”- Koroklass

“I think it might be helpful to adopt a mindset where you realize people aren’t really going to change for you (unless you have a really special bond or something and you’re in a really deeply committed relationship where your partner is willing to compromise etc.) and that whatever they do is a reflection of who they are as a person and not who you are. Yeah you can communicate and if they choose to listen then great, If not well there’s almost always a choice on whether to stay or not. Sometimes it’s not that people want to hurt you it’s just that they simply don’t know better or they have some character “flaw” that speaks more about them. Or that due to timing or the nature of things it can’t work right now, or some people aren’t built for relationships, and that relationships can be vastly different with different people. No one is perfect and we can only do our best. And like what other people are saying, shift that focus onto yourself and work on being a good person living a happy and healthy life doing things that you love will help!”- imightforgetthis11

“Aww man… it took over a year. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and some months. I used to have bad anxiety. I never been in a healthy relationship. This feeling was sooo new to me. I felt so uneasy and still wouldn’t and couldn’t trust him. I prayed ALOT. And It was proven that I could trust him and just relax but I still couldn’t. I tried 3 therapist that didn’t help. I just wasted money. What helped me was reading books and going out with my friends. I am currently reading 4 books and reading them has helped my issues. It’s therapy for me. I read books about relationships and men and women. I learned more about myself. I got a relationship/life coach by researching the book and found that there are people who will coach you. She told me I get anxiety because I’m going against my feminine ways. I was trying to control my bf for no reason, nag him and etc. I stopped doing that and became relaxed. I focused on becoming a better person. I read books on being feminine in a relationship and I tried it. I started being more happy and just letting go. I stopped worrying and it feels great. I don’t think he will hurt me. I don’t have those thoughts anymore. I don’t think he’ll cheat either. He adores me so much and I get reminded of that every single day. I just sat back and did nothing and focused on ME. You have to fix yourself before you get into a relationship or else marriage will unravel it all and it could go bad. When I prayed I already had confirmation. I downloaded scripture apps and got more into prayer. If you’re religious then trusting God will help you trust yourself

I also learned that thinking negative has ALOT to do with it. I learned to only think positive and I’m normally happy the whole entire day. I just changed my life around. My coach also said when I change, my partner changes. He was always loving to me, but now he seems to have falling deeper.”- itristain

“Books have also been a huge help in my healing journey and figuring out how not only my partners, but I was hurting and sabotaging my relationships.”-Sea-Delay

“I am and always have been laid back, loving and trusting in my relationships. But they have always ended in the the guy treating me bad eventually (I have broken up with them pretty quick after such treatment). But now I always have a feeling they will betray me no matter how loving our relationship is, like they are always just pretending to be loving and will eventually be horrible to me and it makes me feel really sad.”- callmedeniro

“Time and taking things slowly in the beginning. Took me a while to get there but I worked through those feelings and got there eventually.”- kinkyspidersex

“My fiance came home from work and instead of helping my friend move that was standing right outside, he told me he actually didn’t love and dint want to be in this life with me anymore. So that was rough. I dont think… I have gotten over that fear? I still think about how my current, long term partner of almost 3 years might do that. And there’s not much I can do about it? It wasn’t my fault the first time, shit just happens, he might fall out of love with me this time too. I just remember those fears are mine,and not rational, and thats not fair to put on my current partner to make me feel better about.”- seeemilydostuf

“It all came down to the right man. He could have other women but he wants me. He doesn’t have to be with someone to be happy but he chooses to be with me. He never tells me something he doesn’t think is true. In light of all that I just can’t really imagine him hurting me or lying to me about how he feels… he’s just had so many opportunities to do something else and he hasn’t.”- phasestep

“Day by day, by being vulnerable with my new partner and most of the time he doesn’t let me down.”- StrongEye1738

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Reddit Users Are Posting About What They’ve Learned From Their Highschool Crush

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Reddit Users Are Posting About What They’ve Learned From Their Highschool Crush

Hill Street Studios/ Getty

If it’s true that you never forget your high school crush, perhaps the same goes for the one person that made your heart flutter for the first time. If you still stalk your primero crush on social media pages like Instagram and Facebook maybe in your case, yours was one you just can’t shake.

Users on Reddit are sharing what they’ve learned about their first crushes and the answers are pretty eyeopening.

“He had a rollercoaster of a life. I admire him more than ever, and more than most people I know, but can’t wrap my head around why I ever found him physically attractive. Maybe it was always just his heart.

By age 25, he had a PhD, a wife, and was a captain in the navy. By 30, he had two PhDs, a small business where he made a metric ass-ton of money, and his wife was pregnant. By 31 he was diagnosed with stage-4 skin cancer that swiftly spread to his lymph nodes, bones, esophagus, and a few other places. He was told he had minimal chance of making it 5 more years. Even with the best health insurance money can buy, it still basically wiped him out.

Seven years later, he’s living a comfortable but not extravagant life as a civilian contractor for the navy, same wife and two happy healthy kids, and spends most of his free time advocating for better public health care.” –theMycon

“She committed suicide. Found out later she had a crush on me too. Fuck life sometimes.” –stange_72 

“Began acting. It’s weird – every so often I’ll see a commercial or something and be like “oh, hey, I know them!”

My crush is an incredibly sweet person, so I’m glad.” –BitwiseB

“I remember walking up to her and asking if we could talk in private, and she said you can say what you need in front of everyone (her group of friends were all around). So I asked if she wanted to go on a date. She burst out laughing and said “yeah, Um no..” Shit was rough, man.

Looked her up last year and she’s a cage fighter now.” –_losthighway_ 

I had two unrealized crushes in high school. One is a teacher and musician. She is married and has either one or two kids. We’ve kept in loose contact via social media and ran into each other at a NYE party shortly before she got married. I was introduced to her now-husband as ‘favorite ex ever.’ He seemed like a decent dude and I’m happy for her.

I believe the other became a US Attorney. I have not heard from her since google+ almost became a social media thing. I imagine she’s still very productive and would be disappointed in my life choices.”- ripAccount35

“He was my first serious crush and my first slow dance at a middle school dance. Now he’s gay, attractive, was in the military, and now own a photography studio. He does some great headshots.” – secretsloth

“My only GF in high school was my crush. Her mom banned her from dating me after about a year because my GF admitted to her mom that we were fooling around. This was about 20 years ago. She’s still living with her mom, no kids, and as far as I know never again dated seriously after her mom broke us up. Still has the same job from high school too. It’s like her mom went way into protective overdrive and my former GF never grew up.”- USPO-222

“There are 3 women here on my street (they’re my neighbors, they don’t live on the street) that are old (one in her 50’s and the others in their 60’s) and never had a partner.

Two of them are sisters and live together, the other lives alone. They all had the same story: their parents were too restrict and never let them date anyone. So now they’re old and are socially awkward.

The sisters never even had a pet before their mom died. Now they have a cute puppy.

I find their situation really sad. You should respect your parents but you shouldn’t follow only their will.”- r_m_castro

“I met her in 1987. We got married 5 years ago. We used to go to the same punk shows, that’s where met.”- MichiganBrolitia

“Mine was my best friend. She turned out to be a pedophile. She always liked younger guys…like when she was 17 she had a 13 year old boyfriend which was weird…but we were kids and I didnt think about it much. Turns out she continued to like younger teens as she grew into her 20s and 30s.”- Ethandrul 

“Found her on tinder, she said I was hot. Pointed out that I was that loser she used to know in highschool. Had a big laugh. Been a little over a year, now we send eachother memes and hang out occasionally when the pandemic isnt being a bitch.” – crazedSquidlord

“She’s still hot, successful and wealthy entrepreneur, and married someone with the same first name as me and who quit his job to brew beer. I crushed on her for a bit, didn’t think she was interested so I dated others, then come to find out she crushed on me senior year, I was too dumb and blind, we connected freshman year of college, she wrote me letters, and by the time I wised up she had moved on. No one to blame but myself.”- SignUp12345678910

“They both ended up as great guys.

One has a huge family and is a minister. The other only has one child and is a college professor. Both married nice people and are happy.

They were really good guys in high school and ended up being really good adults. I’ve got both of them on Facebook and we keep in touch peripherally as we stayed friends over the years.”- AssociationHuman

“An insanely talented molecular biology researcher at Boston. And she’s still insanely attractive

Edit: it looks like a lot of people feel like they know this same person. it’s crazy how many molecular biologists people know.”- sderou20

“Dude I knew got into a drunken argument with his brother at a family BBQ over a borrowed $20 (obviously there’s more going on underneath but the money was the catalyst). Fight proceeded to the kitchen and the brother was stabbed to death. Guy went to prison for manslaughter where one of his guards was another good friend of mine. Country gang gang, everyone knows everyone.” – marmalade

“Back when I was younger and crushing hard I got on AOL instant messenger and had gotten my crush’s screenname from a friend. I worked up the nerve to start a conversation with him and soon after some awkward small talk he sent me a message in Comic Sans, black background, red lettering, and in French. I then went to google for translation and found out he had just called me a pig, in French. Being a seemingly awkward and chubby teenager, I was literally crushed.

The heartbreak was only made worse by remembering that a few weeks prior I had selected to take French class the next year and couldn’t change it.

Years later now that I’ve blossomed he follows me on every social media platform, has reached out a couple of times to try and flirt/hang out. Hard pass. I believe he’s moved away and is a teacher now.” –breezylova

“My crush turned into a self-righteous prick who still lives with his parents. He became livid when he found out my husband and I had a baby. I apparently was supposed to be his back-up plan if he couldn’t find anyone better.”- Pixie_gurl 

“We split sophomore year, went our separate ways, but still sporadically kept in touch as he prepared to go to Iraq. Years passed, he got divorced, and then my husband passed away in 2019 from a motorcycle accident. We reconnected, and decided to hang out as friends. By the second date, we were inseparable. We live together and are incredibly happy. He’s beyond supportive of my past grief that I still battle sometimes, he’s a great provider, and the most loving selfless person I’ve known in a very long time. I feel very lucky to have gotten a second chance with my hs crush/first hs boyfriend/first love.”- BooyaMoonBabyluv 

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