Things That Matter

Reddit Sleuths Are Taking A User To Task For Posting An AMA About Supposedly Meeting His PenPal After 15 Years

In a recent post to Reddit, a user by the name of u/pollutedmind22 shared a pretty remarkable story about a chance meeting that has users on the platform pretty riled up. Partly because it might just be too romantic to be true. 

“When i was 9, my elementary school had a penpal program, which would allow us to write letters to other 9-year-olds across the whole country. i was young and curious at the time, so i decided to send them a letter,” explained Reddit user u/pollutedmind22.

The user went onto further explained that his letter reached a girl who lived across the country. “Jane” as the user calls his panpal for privacy’s sake, lived near New Orleans while the Reddit user lived in Denver at the time. The two wrote to each other and got a long well enough that their parents decided to encourage their communications because they knew it would improve their writing. According to the Reddit user, the two talked about everything from their crushes to their studies and families. “We were as close as two people could be without meeting, explained. Things went along so well that the two wrote once a week. “I remembered how excited i would be waiting for the letter, and putting off everything to immediately reply to her. We both grew up together, and we confided all our problems with each other.” explained the user. 

According to the Reddit user in 2014, after around 10 years of writing manual letters, they decided to move to email, as it was faster to type and messages could be sent instantly.

Then, earlier this year the Reddit user began working in a restaurant as a side job while completing their studies. It so happens that when he started his work, he began working alongside a woman named Jane. ” I found it funny, and a hilarious coincidence, and thus i emailed Jane telling her so,” explained the user. “It was then she sent back an email telling me that she was the Jane in question. Apparently, she had just moved to Denver and hadn’t had time to tell me, and just happened to work at the same shop as I did. what are the odds!”

The Reddit user explained that they have been working together for around 8 months and became so close in real life that they started dating 2 months ago.

During the AMA portion of the Reddit poster, one user asked “What was the spirit and essence of these letters and emails that kept the pen friendship going for so long?”

In response, the original Reddit user explained. “We were both introverts, and thus writing was a way both of us could freely express ourselves. I was motivated to keep writing as her personality was just great, she was funny and confident, and we both could share our personal problems, and just talk about life. Honestly, the 15 years and nearly 1000 letters and emails passed so quickly, and i’m just so glad i participated in that program in the first place.” 

Q: What was your first impression of her in that coffee store when you still didn’t know that it was infact your penpal you were looking at. –sieberde

A: “honestly, i didn’t pay much attention and she was busy calling someone, my first actual confrontation the next day was awkward to say the least. we just stood and looked at each other for what must have been 5 minutes.”

Q: You say she told you it was in fact her in an E-Mail. Did she know that it was you from the mail you wrote or did she get the hint sooner?-sieberde

A: “After reading my email, she quickly sent one back asking if it was <insert restaurant name>, as she realised that her new co worker shared the same name as i. after around 2 emails later, we realised that we actually met each other in person.”

Q: Hows the decade been?

A: it’s been full of ups and downs, but we have always wrote to each other and consoled each other when stuff went wrong. i basically lived my conscious life with her, and we shared everything with each other. so the decade has been like a normal decade, but with a close friend that always stuck to me.

Of course, as is typical for Reddit boards, internet sleuths have pressed the user to prove the validity of this story. Particularly considering how cute it is and some various valuable points.

As one user pointed out “you expect people to believe that you and Jane are 24-year-old friends who are as close as you could be with someone you hadn’t met – and you never connected on social media? Never shared a photo?”

As another user pointed out, it seems odd that the Redditer’s friend would only share that she had moved to his hometown after the fact. Especially because they seemed to have grown so close in recent years 

“So a girl you’ve been writing letters to for a decade and a half moved to the same city as you and failed to tell you until she already got a job?” JayCroghan pointed out. “Alright, buddy. Not only applied for a got a job but management had time to let employees know.”

TBT on what the real story is here but we’ll be keeping you posted.

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The Creepiest Confessions Made On Reddit

Culture

The Creepiest Confessions Made On Reddit

Of course, we all have our secrets.

Things we hold tightly to our hearts and that we would never really feel comfortable sharing. Still, sometimes we can’t help but let things off our chests every once in a while. Users on Reddit know this truth, it’s why for years they’ve headed over to the platform to anonymously share their darkest and deepest.

Check out some of the creepiest secrets and confessions shared on Reddit below!

“That my mother was abusive to me as a kid. I kept it for 22 years. I told my dad a few months back. I told him in anger because I blamed him for letting it happen.

He truly didn’t know the extent, she kept it well hidden.

He then explained to me that he tried to protect me from her and he did when he was around. He told me he’d been in an abusive relationship with her. She separated him from every friend and family member he had. She took his entire paycheck and wouldn’t let him have a card.

She told him he couldn’t leave her because she’d never allow him to see me again.

My dads not perfect and he left me in dangerous situations but he tried at least. And now both of our 20+ year secrets are out to each other.

Edit: thank you so much for all of the positivity and pms it’s really made me smile today.”-originalusername1996

“There was a guy who confessed that he stalked a girl for a year, hacked her love interest’s computer, planted a load of evidence that love interest had been stalking her and was into a load of weird and creepy stuff, revealed it to girl, helped girl to get a restraining order on love interest, used that as his way in with the girl, and eventually married her … what the actual fuck.”- ashdelete

“Recently moved to a new place. My neighbor next house is 80 years old cool guy. We clicked off pretty good since he lives alone and i beeing on a road for so long at a time (truck driver) im single dude in mid 30s. He told me that his cousin used to be a truck driver as well. What he told me that none in his family(my neighboors) knew that he has had 2 families. One in a North Dakota and other in Nebraska. Dude was married to a 2 women and had a kids with both. He pulled it for 20 years neither of them knowing of the existence of the other. As a truck driver, i can totally see this beeing legit – Just sayin ‘honey, i have a load to deliver to…’”- _r6man_

“Sadly, I find these stories pretty easy to believe. I knew a naval officer whose job involved explaining benefits to bereaved spouses and families after the military spouse passed away. A surprisingly big part of this was explaining to people who thought they were widows that they weren’t… that there were no benefits, because their partner actually had a different legal spouse. Usually it was people failing to legally divorce and becoming a bigamist through laziness or ignorance, but more than once the deceased had been actively maintaining two households.”- Lampyrinae

“I have a relative who committed suicide, and next to their note, they left a small stack of things they wanted to be buried with. Several days after the funeral, the director of the funeral home called my mom and let her know that sadly, the items my relative wanted to be buried with did not get put in the coffin. It happens sometimes, and he told mom that they try to contact the family member who seems least likely to lose their shit over it. I’m paraphrasing of course, but my mom was the perfect person; the woman is unflappable. Mom went up to the funeral home and they returned the items to her. She told me the story once, and that nobody in the family knew, but that she wanted me to know where the items were in case she passed before she found an appropriate time to give the items to my relative’s kids (it was some photographs of my relative with family and friends, and then a wedding ring). The kids were very young so it wasn’t appropriate for her to give it to them at the time. It’s been well over 20 years, and I don’t think she has ever passed the things on. We have never discussed it again, and I haven’t ever told anyone. One day I am sure I’ll have to have that conversation with one or both of my relative’s kids, but until then, this is the only time I’ve said anything about it.”- Likely_Not_Your_Mom

“I killed my best friends fish while watching it for her while she was on vacation. Then I replaced it with a fish that looked nothing like it and told everyone that they were crazy for thinking that it wasn’t the same fish.

Edit- it was accidental, and the fishes were the same type of fish but they just didn’t look the same. i also watched it for two weeks and it just happened to die on the last day. And to top it off the fish that I bought to replace the other one died a week later.”- carrieuhome

“My parents have no idea that I didn’t graduate college when I said I did. In the spring of my senior year, I overloaded and took 6 classes instead of 5, in order to graduate on time. My grandmother passed away that semester, and in the aftermath I was so depressed that I barely passed 5 of the classes and failed the 6th entirely. My parents aren’t abusive, but I was living with them at the time and they would never have let me live it down. My school let me walk, so I just lied and told them I had finished. I already had a job lined up when I was supposed to have graduated, so I started working, and a year later I took an online course to finish my degree. My parents just think my diploma got messed up by the school, and that’s why it was late.”-SingProud28

“My sister’s cat died during the night a couple days ago, and I’m the one who found her in the morning. I lied to my sister about how I found her. I said she was lying on the ground and possibly had a heart attack (which would explain her eyes being wide open, I couldn’t close them).

I actually found her trapped, under the dining table, hanging between two chairs with her front legs, with her head back. She must have fallen and couldn’t free herself (she didn’t have good control of her claws anymore). She looked like Jesus on the cross, completely stiff from rigor mortis. I was fucking horrified and still can’t get the image out of my head. It hurts me so much to know that her last moments were of suffering. I now can’t ever tell my sister how it really happened.

Edit: To slightly soften the story, she was a very old cat, about to turn 20 years old. What was unbelievable was that it was on the morning of the day we had booked a vet appointment to put her to sleep. My sister actually feels relief that she died ‘naturally’ rather than being taken to a strange place she didn’t know. I can’t share the same sentiment, sadly, but I’m just relieved that she is relieved.”- Usidore_

“I am not deaf but I am hearing impaired and use hearing aids. About a year ago, I temporarily moved to a town in the United States and went into a market where a far too excited employee greeted me and I could tell she would never let up so I pretended to be deaf so she’d let me be.

I thought I’d move back home after a few months and only go there once or twice. It’s been a year and they have the best fresh produce. I’m there all the time.

She’s learning sign language to talk to me.”- Hiyagaja

“That my Dad was cheating on my mom. I found out during middle school/beginning of high school but kept it between my sister and me. We weren’t sure what to do. Today my mom found out while fighting with my dad. The secret just came out of me when he walked away and she wanted to go after him. She was first upset that I had been dealing with that four 5ish years, but later on she started to turn her anger about it towards me. Just laying in bed not sure how to continue. My parents have always fought since I was little and always put me in the middle of it so I shouldn’t be surprised.”- Reddit User

“my mom cheated on my dad a lot when i was growing up and i knew about it and it has always been one of the most painful things ive ever had to deal with. she was not only emotionally abusive and manipulative towards me (she knew i knew) but she was also physically abusive towards my brother and me. one time she picked my toddler brother up by his hair and threw him into a wall. i remember sitting on the stairs and just crying and covering my body because i was scared she was going to come for me next.

i tried talking this out with my most recent therapist because it is something i have never been able to fully process and work through. i usually just shove it deep down and if it starts to bubble up, i just shove it back down again. she was kind of dismissive and told me that all mother-daughter relationships are complicated.

im sorry you had to carry the weight of your dad’s secret around with you. that is so unfair, and it really robbed you of a “normal” childhood experience.”- mrschestnyspurplehat

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Reddit Users Are Sharing Advice On How To Get Over Your Fear Of Being Hurt By A New Partner

Things That Matter

Reddit Users Are Sharing Advice On How To Get Over Your Fear Of Being Hurt By A New Partner

Heartache often proves to be a heck of a mountain to get over.

Isolating, physically and emotionally draining, and ultimately desperate, the feeling of having your heart split into can be a traumatizing one that can bleed into future relationships. No matter how healthy or new, the relationships we get into after heartbreaks can be difficult to navigate, and often times feel like a minefield of potential problems.

Users on Reddit know this truth and are doing their best to help us all get over our dating fears.

Check out some helpful insights below!

“By healthily distancing myself and having more to focus on in my life than a current relationship. I find that I have more trouble with these feelings when I’m lacking outside hobbies and friends. It’s easy to constantly worry about a new relationship when it’s the center of your world, and giving yourself space outside the relationship can also really help if you’re prone to being codependent on partners/spouses.”- SwirlyButterfly

“After certain number of heartbreaks, you start to realize you’ve always survived and you’ll survive if it happens again. Having a full life apart from the relationship is a big part of that.”- 1VulgarWoman

“When I started going on out the weekends with friends, it helped soooo much. I noticed when I was getting depressed I wasn’t going out at all. Giving myself the space allowed the relationship to flow perfectly.”- itristain

“By going slow. When my now fiance asked me out I was five months removed from being raped by two guys at a house party and was still really shaken up about it. I didn’t trust men, I didn’t crave sex or intimacy, I was anxious and hurt. But against my gut I agreed to go on the date and was delighted to find he was sweet and respected my wishes. After we’d been seeing each other for about three months I told him that I’d been assaulted and he was always there for emotional support. We’re getting married in August, our sex life is great and I’m infatuated with him. It just took time.”- Mineralista406

“I know that moving forward after a bad relationship I will never ignore red flags and chose partners with morals and goals similar to mine. Do not ignore red flags because you’re lonely. It’s not worth it.”- Melyjane312

“It’s hard because it took me a long time and a lot of conversations to feel secure and that i was finally with someone who wasn’t going to hurt me. And he said all of those right things with no doubts, no red flags etc. However sure enough one day- heart broken. So I don’t know how i will ever do it again.”- icecream112233

“Depends if you are with them, or want one right away.

For me, distance, u dont need someone else to be complete, put those standards high. If you want a loving gentle yet strong and dependable partner, manifest him.”- Koroklass

“I think it might be helpful to adopt a mindset where you realize people aren’t really going to change for you (unless you have a really special bond or something and you’re in a really deeply committed relationship where your partner is willing to compromise etc.) and that whatever they do is a reflection of who they are as a person and not who you are. Yeah you can communicate and if they choose to listen then great, If not well there’s almost always a choice on whether to stay or not. Sometimes it’s not that people want to hurt you it’s just that they simply don’t know better or they have some character “flaw” that speaks more about them. Or that due to timing or the nature of things it can’t work right now, or some people aren’t built for relationships, and that relationships can be vastly different with different people. No one is perfect and we can only do our best. And like what other people are saying, shift that focus onto yourself and work on being a good person living a happy and healthy life doing things that you love will help!”- imightforgetthis11

“Aww man… it took over a year. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and some months. I used to have bad anxiety. I never been in a healthy relationship. This feeling was sooo new to me. I felt so uneasy and still wouldn’t and couldn’t trust him. I prayed ALOT. And It was proven that I could trust him and just relax but I still couldn’t. I tried 3 therapist that didn’t help. I just wasted money. What helped me was reading books and going out with my friends. I am currently reading 4 books and reading them has helped my issues. It’s therapy for me. I read books about relationships and men and women. I learned more about myself. I got a relationship/life coach by researching the book and found that there are people who will coach you. She told me I get anxiety because I’m going against my feminine ways. I was trying to control my bf for no reason, nag him and etc. I stopped doing that and became relaxed. I focused on becoming a better person. I read books on being feminine in a relationship and I tried it. I started being more happy and just letting go. I stopped worrying and it feels great. I don’t think he will hurt me. I don’t have those thoughts anymore. I don’t think he’ll cheat either. He adores me so much and I get reminded of that every single day. I just sat back and did nothing and focused on ME. You have to fix yourself before you get into a relationship or else marriage will unravel it all and it could go bad. When I prayed I already had confirmation. I downloaded scripture apps and got more into prayer. If you’re religious then trusting God will help you trust yourself

I also learned that thinking negative has ALOT to do with it. I learned to only think positive and I’m normally happy the whole entire day. I just changed my life around. My coach also said when I change, my partner changes. He was always loving to me, but now he seems to have falling deeper.”- itristain

“Books have also been a huge help in my healing journey and figuring out how not only my partners, but I was hurting and sabotaging my relationships.”-Sea-Delay

“I am and always have been laid back, loving and trusting in my relationships. But they have always ended in the the guy treating me bad eventually (I have broken up with them pretty quick after such treatment). But now I always have a feeling they will betray me no matter how loving our relationship is, like they are always just pretending to be loving and will eventually be horrible to me and it makes me feel really sad.”- callmedeniro

“Time and taking things slowly in the beginning. Took me a while to get there but I worked through those feelings and got there eventually.”- kinkyspidersex

“My fiance came home from work and instead of helping my friend move that was standing right outside, he told me he actually didn’t love and dint want to be in this life with me anymore. So that was rough. I dont think… I have gotten over that fear? I still think about how my current, long term partner of almost 3 years might do that. And there’s not much I can do about it? It wasn’t my fault the first time, shit just happens, he might fall out of love with me this time too. I just remember those fears are mine,and not rational, and thats not fair to put on my current partner to make me feel better about.”- seeemilydostuf

“It all came down to the right man. He could have other women but he wants me. He doesn’t have to be with someone to be happy but he chooses to be with me. He never tells me something he doesn’t think is true. In light of all that I just can’t really imagine him hurting me or lying to me about how he feels… he’s just had so many opportunities to do something else and he hasn’t.”- phasestep

“Day by day, by being vulnerable with my new partner and most of the time he doesn’t let me down.”- StrongEye1738

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