Things That Matter

17 Things That Happen When You Date A Latino Man

You might be a Latino or a non-Latino man or woman who is suddenly dating a cute Latino guy. If you are not familiar with the ways of the Latino male, you have a whole new world to discover.

Here’s our ultimate but non-comprehensive list of things that you will experience in your new caliente relationship. You will find many more, we are sure… but here’s some of the key delights of dating someone of proud Latino heritage.

1. You date the whole family!

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Think My Big Fat Greek Wedding. This is simultaneously a blessing and a curse. You will have a whole bunch of new tíos, primos and even abuelitas that will pamper you as one of their own retoñitos. But you will also find that for many of us privacy is not necessarily a rule. You will have to be firm but loving.

2. You discover the benefits of caballerosidad (Old World chivalry)

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Many Latino men are old fashioned in their manners. You will soon find that your galán opens the door for you, says porfavor and gracias and gives you his seat. If you feel uncomfortable tell him. If you sorta like it just go with the flow and enjoy some chivalry. 

3. Your palate becomes more sophisticated (chili is a whole new world…)

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Latin America is a diverse continent when it comes to food. Your gringo idea of Hispanic food will be broadened: arepas, tacos, tinga, pozole… your tastebuds are the limit. Just for the record: Tex-Mex food is a no-no.

4. Stereotypes fall like a house of cards

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Popular culture in the United States has generated dozens of stereotypes regarding Latinos. Truth is there are rural and urban latinos, cultured and uncultured, queer and straight… Latinos are not made with a cookie cutter you know? Mexicans, Colombians, boricuas, Dominicans, Argentines… we are all different and sometimes we can’t even understand each other!

5. You discover that Spanish is romantic as hell

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Good old Español is a multifaceted language that gives ample room to metaphors. Your beau will surely whisper some suave phrases to your ear. Those rodillas will buckle even if he whispers the lyrics to that annoying song “Despacito”. When he apologizes for being a jerk you will listen…

6. Your views on world history might change a bit

Credit: oakes_1-112317 (1). Digital image. New York Review of Books. November 23 2017.

Latin America is the product of histories of abuse and colonization that indigenous populations were subject to. Later, US and European influence in the continent has had good and bad repercussions. Your man will likely be well versed in history and broaden your perspective, making you question who the good guys and the bad guys truly are.

7. Your geography improves

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Latin Americans are proud of their heritage and of the place their family comes from. We can provide details on the different landscapes of our homeland. You will find out, for example, that Mexicans get really cross if you think their homeland is in Central America when it is actually in North America.

8. Your sense of humor gets sharper

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Latin American men have a knack for double entendres or doble sentido. Many jokes are buried in layers of meaning and often seem tame at first, but are actually fun in a dirty kinda way.

9. You accept that the world should be a matriarchy

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Even if popular culture leads us to believe that Latin American society is ruled by men, the true bosses are the mamás, abuelas and tías who discretely rule the household. You will see how your man turns into a humble little boy in front of them.

10. You get to know a whole bunch of new pop culture references

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Latino pop culture goes well beyond Shakira and Ricky Martin. You will suddenly discover the guilty pleasure of telenovelas and the sinuous rhythms of the continent (see our guide here). Figures like Don Francisco are part of daily conversation and you will keep track of Thalia’s whereabouts. Walter Mercado’s horoscopes will be a topic of scorn and adulation in equal measures.

11. You will realize that Latin America has produced amazing painters

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Art history is told by hegemonic cultures such as Western Europe and the United States, which is probably why you think of Warhol and Van Gogh when you think about painting. But beyond the amazing Frida Kahlo there are Latino painters like Francisco Toledo, Remedios Varo or Rufino Tamayo who are among the best humanity has produced. You might spot a poster or two at your in-law’s.

12. And amazing writers

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Yes we sure love old García Márquez and Neruda, but others like Guadalupe Nettel, Ricardo Piglia, Juan Rulfo and many more are also absolutely fantastic. Make sure your chiquito reads some out loud. A true aphrodisiac.

13. Social justice will be key in your understanding of the world

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Latinos in the US have struggled for decades to assert their rightful place in society, which makes us fierce combatants when it comes to social justice. At one point in your relationship you might discover how politically involved your noviecito is. The man on the picture: César Chávez, the legendary chicano activist.

14. You will stop whispering

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Latinos are proud and proud of what we say… so we say things clear and sometimes loud. No need to whisper your opinions: yell them, let the world know who you are and what you stand for. Also, you will have to SCREAM at family dinner sometimes as the whole clan will talk over each other.

15. Yes, it is true: you will learn (or at least try) to dance

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Good or bad, most Latino men bust a move when required. For Latinos dance is part of the everyday and a form of physical, emotional and sexual individuality. Un pasito palante!

16. You will own a Che t-shirt

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Ernesto Che Guevara has become a cultural and hipster icon worldwide. Unless your pololo is a conservative Latino (they exist, believe us) chances are he thinks El Che is cool and will gift you some paraphernalia. It is sort of an initiation ritual.

17. You will find out that contrary to popular belief, many Latinos are very conservative when it comes to sex

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Most Latinos are very religious, mostly Catholic and evangelical. So contrary to the popular belief that Latinos are all sex thirsty sensual machines, you will find that many take things easy and promise eternal love before reaching third base… or even second. Don’t be fooled though, some will try to charm their way into your love.

The Debut Trailer For ‘Hustlers’ Opens With J.Lo Showing Constance Wu How To Pole Dance And It’s Already The Sexiest Scene I’ve Seen In A Movie In A Long Time

Entertainment

The Debut Trailer For ‘Hustlers’ Opens With J.Lo Showing Constance Wu How To Pole Dance And It’s Already The Sexiest Scene I’ve Seen In A Movie In A Long Time

STX Entertainment / YouTube

How badly do you want to see Jennifer Lopez, Constance Wu, Lizzo, and Cardi B dancing, stripping, and racking up pyramids of cash from unsuspecting dudes? A lot? Perfect: keep scrolling.

The sickening trailer for the badass film ‘Hustlers’ is finally here.

The trailer dropped Tuesday night at midnight and fans of strippers, fierce women, and especially Cardi B, we’re all totally here for it.

The film follows the story of a group of women who have formed their own extended family. They’re all strippers in the NYC area but then they decide to go bigger and start drugging and robbing ultra-wealthy Wall Street types.

The movie is actually inspired by a true story from a now-viral magazine story.

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The article, titled “The Hustlers at Scores” by Jessica Pressler, chronicles the real-life, modern Robin Hood story of a ring of strippers who ripped off wealthy clients.

The film is centered on two badass women, Destiny (Constance Wu) and Ramona (Jennifer Lopez).

Destiny is struggling to make ends meet and is helping to take care of her abuelita so she turns to stripping. This is how she meets Ramona who takes her under her wing and teaches Destiny everything she knows.

I mean Jennifer Lopez, on a pole, showing Constance Wu the moves. I. Am. Here. For. This!

Together with their extended family, these women decide to rob from the rich to help care for their loved ones.

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Based off true events, J.Lo’s, Constance Wu’s, Cardi B’s, and Lizzo’s characters step up their hustle to include drugging men and robbing them of thousands of dollars.

In one scene, J Lo’s character explains it away as simply taking money from bad Wall Street guys who stole money from everyone during the financial crisis.

Things start to get real cray cray real quick.

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The women end up drugging many of their clients to complete their heists…so you can see how things could quickly take a turn for the unexpected.

The plotline is amazing but many fans are here to support this gorgeous, talented, diverse cast of incredible women!

The casting director for this movie 100% deserves some serious stanning.

In addition to Jennifer Lopez and Constance Wu in badass lead roles but fans will also see Cardi B, Keke Palmer, Lizzo, and Usher on the big screen. Like what did we do deserve this masterpiece?!

Some in the Bardi-gang took to Twitter to say they’re kinda disappointed by the trailer.

They wanted more Cardi.

But whoever is running the Hustlers’ Twitter account was quick to calm their nerves.

According to the ‘Hustlers’ Twitter feed, “Cardi B is this movie.” Apparently, they didn’t wanna give it all away so soon. So Cardi B fans better get ready for her big screen acting debut.

Overall, ‘Hustlers’ looks like it just may be one of the fiercest movies of 2019.

See you at the movies!

Click below to check out the full trailer!

READ: Cardi B’s ‘Press’ Is Being Praised As A Look Into The Judicial System And Its Reliance On Old White Men

#IceBae Has Blown Up The Internet. Meet The Latina Border Patrol Agent Behind The Viral Hashtag That Has Latino Twitter Freaking Out

Things That Matter

#IceBae Has Blown Up The Internet. Meet The Latina Border Patrol Agent Behind The Viral Hashtag That Has Latino Twitter Freaking Out

A Latina Border Patrol agent has gone viral as #IceBae and from the looks of her new account on Twitter she seems to be enjoying the new found fame.

The agent, who identified herself as Kiara Cervantes, was photographed providing security for Mike Pence during his visit to a migrant detention center in Texas. From that photograph came #IceBae with thirsty fans calling her out for her beauty. But it also attracted many people who were appalled that a Latina would participate in the mass imprisonment of largely Latino men, women, and children.

All this started when a Latina Border Patrol guard was photographed providing security for Mike Pence at a migrant detention center.

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So, who is the Latina officer in the photograph? The female officer has since been identified as Kiara Cervantes.  Many of the original comments were focused on her good looks, which kicked off the pretty bizarre hashtag #IceBae

Since the photo went viral, Kiara has started up her own Twitter account and has already racked up nearly 37.5k followers in less than 2 days.

It looks like Cervantes enjoyed the new found attention and decided to create a Twitter account to capitalize on all the fame. She posted a video (which has since been deleted) introducing herself as the #IceBae.

Apprently, Ice Bae has all sorts of ‘supporters’ that she had to thank on Twitter.

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Because of the response to the original photo and that #IceBae was trending on Twitter with thousands of thirsty comments, Cervantes decided to create a Twitter account. One of her first tweets was to thank everyone for all the ‘support’ and to tell her ‘supporters’ how much she loves them.

She’s also taken to Twitter to share some selfies of her in uniform with her new found supporters.

Credit: @kiarace24 / Twitter

Because when you work at a detention center that houses migrants in overcrowded cages and is at the center of an international scandal, of course selfies should be on your list of to-dos.

At least a few people on Twitter tried to help her out with some caption ideas for her new photo…

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I mean that is pretty clever if it wasn’t so depressing.

And this person who kept her caption suggestion poignant yet simple.

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What would you caption her photo with?

Seriously, the people are not here for it.

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Apart from all of #IceBae’s supporters, her detractors are definitely speaking out on social media. Many pointed out how by sexualizing Cervantes they were also sexualizing the dehumanization of the very people being held in the detention centers.

Rapper Fat Nick, called her out as ‘literal scum’, that her family would be ashamed of.

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Cervantes fired back Sunday at rapper Fat Nick who tweeted that her family will disown her and “shame on any Hispanic working for ice of anything of that nature.”

“I think that’s really rude and naive of you to say,” she tweeted. “You have no idea who my parents are and no idea what goes into my job on a daily basis… before speaking on something you know nothing about…. DONT. Regardless I’m blessed and thankful for the career I have.”

Another Twitter user pointed out what pretty much most of the Latino community is thinking.

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One Twitter user, among thousands of others, called #IceBae what many are thinking: a guard at a concentration camp. For people to be idolizing a person who is supporting a system of injustice, racism, and bigotry, has many people across social media very upset, particularly those in the Latino community who feel #IceBae has turned her back on them.

READ: Sickening Screenshots Show Border Patrol Agents Laughing About Migrant Deaths

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