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The Kardashians: Reimagined As Mexicanas

Here’s how things would go down if the Kardashian Klan were Latinas. Now, obviously, they will never be good enough to be real Mexicans but it is interesting to imagine how their dramatic af lifestyles would play if they were Mexican. Let’s a take a moment, suspend reality, and allow the Kardashians to experience the Latino life as we see fit.

Their names would be Klarissa, Katrina, Katarina, Kamila and Kika.

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Where's Kendall when I need her…????

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They would live a lavish lifestyle jet setting around South America on the fact that they are famous for being famous. They are a fun group of people, for sure, and people love to obsess about their over-the-top lifestyle.

Kris’ name would be Koncepción.

Credit: Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

It’s pretty clear why. And, yes. She would still be the fierce and sometimes feared momager that turns their life into dollars.

North’s name would be Norteada, obviously.

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Mood

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It only makes sense. They might be Mexican now but that doesn’t mean that there would be too many changes to their life and names.

That whole Jordyn and Tristan drama would have gone down in the family group text.

We all know that our parents care about appearances so the drama would have stayed within the family. Not only would they still be together for appearances, but Tristan would be on the shortest leash known to man.

Y quien es Jordyn?

That’s right. She would be banished from the house and no one in the family would ever speak to her again. It’s just how our families function and that’s that on that.

They’d live in Culiacán, Sinaloa.

Credit: Las Kardashian Take Culiacán / Facebook

With only the finest plebada. We can only imagine how grand their home would be in this alternate universe but one thing is for sure, we would see every inch on camera.

They would conceal their waist-trainers.

We all know that they’re really fajas and Latinas don’t expose such secrets. How else are you supposed to convince the world that your exercise routine is working without the faja?

They’d switch their stilettos for something a little more “fierce.”

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#botasvaqueras

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Tbh, most of us have a pair of these bad boys tucked away in our closets. We don’t wear them often but when we do, well, these boots are made for walking.

Their favorite designer wouldn’t be Olivier Roustein, but Mitzy.

Truly an icon of our time. No one would do the Kardashians better than this incredible designer with all of the Mexicana charm.

He would design Kylie’s quinceañera gowns.

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Quinceañera en programa Hoy

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Yes. Gowns. We all know that this is how it would go down. There is no way she would only have one dress. Let’s just be honest about that, okay?

They’d date hot soccer players instead of basketball players.

Now, this is an idea that more people need to get behind. Who wouldn’t want to be married to or dating one of the fine men that control the soccer field?

Instead of their own apps, they would have their own marketed piñatas.

Credit: Piñatería Ramírez / Facebook

You might be thinking that this is too on the nose, and you’d be right. However, this is also one of the most honest things the Kardashians could do if they were Mexican.

Their show would be the hottest telenovela.

Credit: E!

Because you hadn’t seen drama like this before.

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Khloe Kardashian Responded to the Photo Debacle That Sparked a Discussion About Instagram and Body Dysmorphia

Fierce

Khloe Kardashian Responded to the Photo Debacle That Sparked a Discussion About Instagram and Body Dysmorphia

Photo via Getty Images

Earlier this week, the internet was occupied by a viral story that centered on–whose else?–the Kardashians. Yes, we know the Kardashians are controversial and over-exposed and morally questionable. But this time, this Kardashian-related story sparked a much-needed discussion about Instagram and body dysmorphia.

The story started off with someone, somehow leaking an “unflattering” (i.e. unretouched) photo of Khloe Kardashian on to the internet.

In the photo, Khloe Kardashian is makeup-free, wearing a barely-there bikini. However, it was different than Khloe’s other photos, as no one photoshopped it within an inch of its life.

Like with many Kardashian photos, internet-users shared, reposted and criticized the photo on the internet. But this time, instead of ignoring its existence (like most celebrities would do), the Kardashians fought back. They contacted multiple bloggers and Instagrammers and threatened them with legal action if they didn’t take the photo down.

What internet users found so weird about these threats is that they were over a picture that many people saw to be pretty, natural, and normal.

In fact, many people preferred the photo over Khloe’s usual photos which many claimed to be over-edited, overly-made-up, and unrealistic. Not to mention, Khloe Kardashian has a conventionally attractive body that many–if not most–people would be more than happy to have. This seemed to be a classic case of Instagram and body dysmorphia.

The fact that Khloe and the Kardashian machine were going out of their way to try and scrub this perfectly acceptable photograph from the internet was alarming. “…It makes me so sad for those who think that their IG is real life and compare themselves to edited pics,” wrote one Twitter user. “She looks gorgeous & happy in this pic, wish we’d see more like this.”

On Thursday, Khloe Kardashian took to her Instagram page to write a lengthy essay describing her struggle with her body image.

Khloe posted multiple un-edited videos of herself with the following caption: “Hey guys. This is me and my body unretouched and unfiltered. This photo that was posted this week is beautiful.”

“But as someone who has struggled with body image her whole life, when someone takes a photo of you that isn’t flattering, in bad lighting, or doesn’t capture your body the way it is after working so hard to get it to this point – and then shares it to the world – you should have every right to ask for it to not be shared – regardless of who you are.”

She continued: “In truth, the pressure, constant ridicule and judgment my entire life to be perfect and to meet other’s standards of how I should look has been too much to bear.”

“‘Khloe is the fat sister’, ‘Khloe is the ugly sister’, ‘Her dad must not be her real dad because she looks so different’,” she listed the much discussed topics she’s heard throughout her life. “‘The only way she could have lost that weight must have been from surgery’. Should I go on?”

While the essay goes on, she concluded it with: “My body, my image and how I choose to look and what I want to share is my choice. It’s not for anyone to decide or judge what is acceptable anymore.”

While we applaud Khloe Kardashian for speaking her truth, the ultra-edited versions of “her image” that she usually puts out perpetuate the very problem she claims to fight against.

Yes, what she does with her body–and how she presents it–is unequically her choice, but it is a choice that has a lasting impact on young women and girls.

Anyone can relate to feeling undesirable, criticized, and bullied over the way you look. But the solution shouldn’t be contributing to the problem of Instagram unreality with altered photos that present an impossible version of reality.

We hope Khloe Kardashian–like every woman–finds peace with her body. One day, maybe she’ll have the strength to accept herself the way she is–unedited flaws and all.

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Here Are The Shows And Movies We Couldn’t Get Enough Of In 2020

Entertainment

Here Are The Shows And Movies We Couldn’t Get Enough Of In 2020

This year has been a great time to get intimately acquainted with your apartment and home. It was also a time to get very familiar with what there is to watch on your streaming platforms. Here’s what we spent the year of quarantine binge watching.

“The Queen’s Gambit”

“The Queen’s Gambit” was one of the most popular shows of the year. The limited series was all about chess and a young woman’s journey to become the best in the world. She learns while in an orphanage and eventually starts to become a mastermind of chess. The show has brought a lot of attention to chess and more people than ever are interested in the board game. Anya Taylor-Joy as the main character is one of the best performances of the year.

“The Mandalorian”

“The Mandalorian” is the Star Wars show that everyone can’t stop talking about. Pedro Pascal brings the Latino essence to the show without even knowing it. The Star Wars universe is never-ending and this show proves that the fans will show up whenever there is anything Star Wars.

“Los Espookys”

The HBO series is giving you all of the dry, senseless humor you can stand. It is worth watching the show just to get some much needed laughs after this dumpster fire of a year. Let yourself be lost in the hilarity that is Julio Torres.

“Pose”

Afro-Latino queer ballroom culture takes center stage in the FX original show “Pose.” So much of queer culture is thanks to queer people of color and this show honors them. It is one of the best queer shows to ever hit a streaming platform and will open your eyes to a part of the queer community that is often ignored and overlooked.

“Happiest Season”

Another brilliant queer production, “Happiest Season” is all about lesbian love and coming out of the closet. Aubrey Plaza, while not a leading character, plays an important role in helping Abby and Harper’s relationship move to the next level. Harper is left trying to decide if it is worth coming out to her family during the holidays and the result is everything you hoped for.

“The Expanding Universe of Ashley Garcia”

“The Expanding Universe of Ashley Garcia” a young robotics genius is living her teenage life with all of the awkward moments you would expect. The show was definitely a sleeper but it makes the list because of the wonderful representation. It isn’t often that you see young Latinas in tech or robotics in media. It’s worth a watch just to fill you with all kinds of good feels.

READ: Netflix Is Bringing Back Seven Classic Black Sitcoms And They’re Already On My Binge List

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