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Super Weird Pitbull Lines That Are Actually Poetic If You Listen Closely

Ever find yourself singing along to a Pitbull song at the club and thinking “Wait, what did he just say?” Then the alcohol kicks in and you realize you hit up the club to dance, not think. Well, if you ever listen to Pitbull, you’ll realize Mr. Worldwide’s lyrics are waaaaaay deeper than you realized. Here’s proof:

“Mami got an ass like a donkey, with a monkey. Look like King Kong.”

Credit: UltraMusic / YouTube

Song: “I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)”

What you think it means: “That woman has a huge butt.”

What it really means: “You know, my mother was a strong, stubborn woman, and she worked tirelessly to climb the corporate ladder. She eventually made it to the top and, what can I say, she was a beast.”

“Every other city we go, we always pull a couple of pretty hoes.”

Credit: Radial By The Orchard / YouTube

Song: “Toma” ft. Lil Jon

What you think it means: “We pick up women wherever we go.”

What it really means: “Throughout my travels, I like to buy gardening supplies and take care of people’s yards. Sometimes, I talk to plants.”

“I’m slicker than an oil spill. She say she won’t, but I bet she will, timber.”

Credit: PitbullVEVO / YouTube

Song: “Timber” ft. Ke$ha

What you think it means: “I seduce women.”

What it really means: “Mankind’s addiction to oil is killing mother nature, but she will have her revenge. She will crush us with falling trees.”

“Now big bang boogie. Get that kitty little noogie in a nice nice little shade.”

Credit: PitbullVEVO / YouTube

Song: “Fireball” ft. John Ryan

What you think it means: “Are we hooking up or nah?”

What it really means: “Dancing with you is like creating a universe where we just pet kittens that hold tiny umbrellas. Who wouldn’t want to live in that universe?”

“Down in Key Largo, you know I’m on that sticky icky, icky, icky, icky. Don’t do it much, but when I do, I’m gone.”

Credit: PitbullVEVO / YouTube

Song: “Fun” ft. Chris Brown

What you think it means: “I smoke weed and it gets me high.”

What it really means: “The humidity in Key Largo is unbearable. I don’t go there very often, but when I do, I get the urge to leave immediately.”

 “Give credit where credit is due. Don’t ya know that I don’t give a number two.”

Credit: PitbullVEVO / YouTube

Song: “Back In Time”

What you think it means: “I don’t give a sh*t if you don’t like me.”

What it really means: “I used to work at a bank giving out loans, but I quit because I was constantly constipated.”

“Oh, you’re the healthy type. Well, here go some egg whites”

Credit: PitbullVEVO / YouTube

Song: “Hotel Room Service”

What you think it means: Ummmm…

What it really means: “I am constantly in awe of you. I am aware you live a healthy lifestyle, so please accept this omelet as a symbol of my pure, untainted love for you.”

“In Brazil they’re freaky with big ol’ boobs, and their thongs, blue, yellow and green.”

Credit: PitbullVEVO / YouTube

Song: “International Love” ft. Chris Brown

What you think it means: “Brazil is full of curvy women.”

What it really means: “The world is full of complex cultures, such as Brazil, where they often wear the colors of their flag.”

“Let’s party on the White House lawn. Tiger Woods times Jesse James equals Pitbull all night long.”

Credit: EnriqueIglesiasVEVO / YouTube

Song: “I Like It” by Enrique Iglesias

What you think it means: “Let’s party because I’m long and strong.”

What it really means: “You make me feel like a commander-in-chief and I believe that deserves a celebration. I am wholesome like pro golfer Tiger Woods yet I have the attitude of the outlaw Jesse James. Reconciling these two things keeps me up at night.”

“That badonka donk is like a trunk full of bass on an old school Chevy. Seven tray donkey donk.”

Credit: JenniferLopezVEVO / YouTube

Song: “On The Floor” by Jennifer Lopez

What you think it means: “Dat ass doe!”

What it really means: “Your body is like a treasure trove of secrets that resonates at the very core of my being, and raises me through the seven levels of heaven.”

Do you think you’re ready to translate other Pitbull lyrics on your own? Post them in the comments section below, and share with your friends!

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