entertainment

“Sesame Street” Is The Latest Neighborhood To Experience Gentrification

I always had the suspicion that “Sesame Street” might not be as nice a place as it was portrayed on TV. There was that alcoholic Oscar the Grouch, who spewed hate from his garbage home. Then there was that blue guy, Grover, who never wore pants around children. Come to think of it, a lot of those pervert muppets walked around half-naked. And don’t even get me started on Aloysius Snuffleupagus! But who knew the worst was yet to hit the Street: gentrification.

This release is brought to you by the letters:
G-E-N-T-R-I-F-I-C-A-T-I-O-N.

Yep. This past week, three of Sesame Streets most beloved actors were forced out of their lifelong home. And while I’ll definitely miss Bob, it’s the departures of Delgado (“Luis”)  and Orman (“Gordon”) that really has me concerned. When the plague of gentrification sweeps through a neighborhood, it’s not uncommon for minorities to carry the brunt of the consequences. This, I believe, is exactly what happened on “Sesame Street.”

Gentrification starts with just one person.

Knowing that Sesame Street is undergoing gentrification, I can’t wait to see how long it is before children learn that “A” is for “appropriation.” Kids will learn to count by calculating how much to tip for a $9 cup of imported coffee. Maybe even those bastard muppets from Avenue Q will move in, with their jazz and their mixed drinks.

Take your progressive ideas elsewhere.

Seriously, it won’t be long before we see this hipster muppet on the show, I guarantee it.

hipster_muppet

This is 22-year old Thelonious Vanguard III. After escaping his parent’s gated community at the age of 21, Thelonious started a gourmet sno-cone business out of the back of the sweet hearse he bought with his dad’s hedge fund money. When he’s not working, he spends his free time quoting “Infinite Jest”, a book he has never read. His monthly trust fund pays for his lavish apartment on Sesame Street.

Say goodbye to your childhood.

November 10, 1969. Season 1. #sesamestreetday

A photo posted by Sesame Street (@sesamestreet) on

Sadly, Sesame Street used to be a place where everyone, regardless of race or gender, was treated with respect and dignity. Luis and Gordon’s heart-warming portrayals on the show were an integral part of the relationship I developed with the show, as well as with my outlook towards other people. Now that they’re gone, I don’t know what feel.


Read: Sesame Street’s New Resident Speaks About Being Latina, Bilingual, And Proud

Ted Cruz Is Already Scared Of This Dude Taking His Senate Seat... In 2 Years

Politics

Ted Cruz Is Already Scared Of This Dude Taking His Senate Seat… In 2 Years

Congressman Joaquin Castro / Ted Cruz / Facebook

Representative Joaquín Castro, a Democrat who represents Texas’ 20th congressional district, is making Ted Cruz, the former Republican presidential candidate from Texas, shake in his boots. During the Democratic National Convention, Joaquín hint at a possible 2018 run to unseat Cruz. Joaquín, twin brother of U.S. Secretary of Housing and Urban Developmen Julián Castro, didn’t make any concrete promises about running, but he definitely isn’t brushing off the possibility.

Joaquín Castro is letting Ted Cruz know that he very well might be coming for him in two years.

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Credit: The Interview / Columbia Pictures / hero0fwar / Reddit

That sound you hear is the sound of the Ted Cruz camp collectively gasping in fear.

Joaquín, during an interview with “CBS This Morning,” told reporters that he was considering a run for the Senate in 2018.

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Credit: Legendary Dudas / Nickelodeon / Nickelodeon / Giphy

“I’ve never been somebody that said, ‘In two years, I’ve absolutely got to run for Senate or governor,’ but I will take a look at it,” Joaquín said. “Ted Cruz said that he would go to Washington to change Washington and he has. He’s made it worse, much worse.”

“Texans have figured out that Ted is not for Texas, Ted is for Ted,” Joaquín told reporters during a Texas delegation breakfast.

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Credit: The Wendy Williams Show / Debmar-Mercury / RealityTVGIFs / Tumblr

And almost immediately, Cruz “freaked out” over this speculation and took to email to start rallying troops to keep his seat in 2018.

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Credit: Stranger Things / Netflix

“Despite any record of achievement and a liberal ideology out of touch with the majority of Texans, the Castro brothers have the full support of the mainstream media and Washington establishment willing to do everything in their power to turn Texas blue,” Cruz wrote in an email according to “The Dallas Morning News.” “Our opponents are already making plans to defeat us, so we cannot afford to wait to engage until 2018.”

Unfortunately for Cruz, people are pretty excited to see this man run for office.

#RealHousewivesOfCapitolHill


READ: Ted Cruz Gave Donald Trump The Middle Finger At His Own Convention And It Was Glorious

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