Leaked Video Shows Young Ted Cruz was the Perfect Movie Villain

Over the weekend, someone leaked a video of an 18-year-old Ted Cruz talking about his future dreams and it’s clear he was considering much loftier goals than the presidency. Cruz ends up sounding like he’s auditioning to become a movie villain (or someone who watched one too many episodes of Pinky & The Brain).

Here’s the video that is making the rounds.

Credit: Young Ted Cruz / YouTube

To sum it up, Cruz wants to power, money, and, of course, world domination.

It all starts with an incredibly corny joke about what aspiration means.

Butt Sweat
Credit: Young Ted Cruz / YouTube

Funny, Ted…real funny.

Credit: Mi Vida Loca / Sony Pictures Classics

READ: The Official Ted Cruz Burn Book

But then he got serious and admitted what his future goals really are.

Take Over the World
Credit: Young Ted Cruz / YouTube

Of course that’s only after becoming rich, powerful, and starring in a “teen tit” film like Malibu Bikini Shop.

Sounds like he could have become a really good movie villain…


What did Ted Cruz’s father think about his son taking over the world?

I Hope Not
Credit: Young Ted Cruz / YouTube

Who would have known that Ted Cruz’s father was a shade queen before being a shade queen was even a thing?

READ: 11 Times Ted Cruz Proved to be a Bigger Asshole than Donald Trump

Now we wait for Ted Cruz to respond. Maybe during the Jan. 28 Republican debate?

Credit: Puss in Boots / Dreamworks Animation / mickeyfreaktv / Tumblr

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Latinos Have the Worst Habit of Keeping All this Sh*t in their Front Yard


Latinos Have the Worst Habit of Keeping All this Sh*t in their Front Yard

We, Latinos, are some crafty mothas… Some call our front lawn decor lazy, we call it practical feng shui.

Your old play house from 15 years old is still in the same spot.

Because mami’s leaving it up for her nietos to play in.

There’s enough furniture to start your own pop-up barber shop.

No need to sweep after.

There’s always a random couch calling your name.

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Bummin like a boss. #bumming #lawncouch #likeaboss

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Perfect for recovering after a night out or sunbathing.

READ: We All have that Family Member that Treats His Car Like a Second Home

A Latino yard is not complete without a statue of La Virgen.

And she only comes inside when it gets too cold outside.

Or little animal statues.

Credit: @zeppy_garden / Twitter

It’s like a farm, only the animals don’t move…but it’s still as dangerous to walk through.

Or real chickens. Especially if you are a Cuban living in Miami.

Credit: @Ishannon101 / Twitter

Because they’re much cooler to look at than basic, everyday labs.

Hammock, because that’s what trees are for.


Plus, nothing says American Dream like swinging on your hammock watching the asada on the grill.

READ: These Latino Toys are Borderline Deadly

The special roses that nobody knows what they are for.

It’s either in memory of your late abuelita or they are there to commemorate your birth. Who knows? Just don’t touch them.

And, no matter what time of year, there is a nativity scene right out front.


Because Jesucristo exists everyday of the year, not just Christmas!

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