Have You Heard Fred Armisen and Horatio Sanz Do Cuban Accents? Here’s Your Chance

“Dandole… dandole… sexo, sexo, DROGA!”

Saturday Night Live alums Fred Armisen and Horatio Sanz break out their Cuban accents in a YouTube sketch called “Toy Collectors #1.” Armisen and Sanz play Cuban toy collectors who “unbox” toys from popular TV shows such as Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad and The Big Bang Theory. Wondering where they learned to speak Spanish? Armisen’s mother is Venezuelan and Sanz was born in Chile (to Chilean parents, obviously).

WATCH: Stephen Colbert’s RIDICULOUS ‘Audition’ Tape for the El Chapo Biopic

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The Official Ted Cruz Burn Book


The Official Ted Cruz Burn Book

Credit: Luis Hernández / Mean Girls / Paramount Pictures / Wikipedia

We’ve been so distracted with Donald Trump’s presidential circus, err campaign, that we’ve managed to ignore how crazy Ted Cruz is! He’s so crazy that friends and co-workers actually hate him…which is why we bring you this burn book, Mean Girls style. (Surprisingly, most of the sh*t talking comes from those who are supposed to be his allies – the Republicans).

“I just don’t like the guy.”


“He’s a jackass” and “a pain in the you-know-what.”


It takes one to know one. Not calling former Speaker of the House, John Boehner, one, but we know he also isn’t very popular himself.

“There’s not a lot of love lost for the guy.”


Josh Holmes, a former chief of staff to Mitch McConnell, said because there wasn’t any love there to begin with!


We hope Lindsay Graham, another Republican presidential candidate, wasn’t talking about the good people on the Republican side.

READ: Ted Cruz Makes Machine Gun Bacon Because What Else Were Firearms Made For?

“It’s a classic show-horse-versus-workhorse dynamic.”


John Hart, former communications director for Coburn, said when admitting that Ted Cruz makes a lot of noise in the Senate, but gets little work done. Which basically means he’s lazy, like a lazy cat.

“He’s hated by the political establishment.”


That’s what Dallas biotech investor Chart Westcott said. It’s like the unfathomable became real.

“He’s a little bit of a maniac” and “doesn’t have the right judgment.”


Yep, that’s what the Donald said, who has such good judgment himself, he decided to play with a bald eagle.

“Why do people take such instant dislike to Ted Cruz? It just saves time.”


Said a Bush 2000 alumnus, who explained that people should just not waste their time with him. Burn baby, burn.

“They hate him as they have hated no Senator before him.”


For the most part reporters and TV anchors are pretty political, but Trevor Noah of MSNBC did not hold back when he said that and called him an asshole. Which begs the question: Why is he still around?!

“Ted Cruz is a nightmare of a human being.”


Even his former roommate hates his guts. Yep, that’s what Craig Mazin, Ted Cruz’s former Princeton roommate said. And he continued “I have plenty of problems with his politics, but truthfully his personality is so awful that 99 percent of why I hate him is just his personality. If he agreed with me on every issue, I would hate him only one percent less.”

What else are others saying about Ted Cruz? Do you like the guy? Don’t forget to share this story with your friends by clicking the button below!

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