Anyone traveling to the Dominican Republic this summer has likely been met with the cautionary warning; “Don’t drink anything from the minibar.” Eleven tourist deaths on the island in 2019, ranging from natural causes to counterfeit alcohol consumption, have spurred FBI and State Department investigations. Though news of flight and hotel cancellations abounded, I missed my family and refused to let fear stop me from seeing them. Since I lived to tell the tale, here are a few things I learned about my father, about myself, and about the precarious paradise that keeps calling me back.

Billy Joel and Nas have interpreted the “New York state of mind,” and if you have ever visited the Dominican Republic beyond the purpose of tourism, you’ll know that there exists a Dominican state of mind too.

Whenever I exit Las Americas or Puerto Plata airports, humidity slaps me in the face, and my Dominican mindset is immediately activated. On this island, electricity does not run 24/7. When the electricity goes, or as we say “se fue la luz,” water doesn’t run from the tap either. All that is left to do is swap your sneakers for flip-flops, and exorcise your need for immediate gratification. It takes practice, and I re-learn this lesson with each visit.

The Dominican Republic is changing fast. 

There is new construction everywhere you look. I sit on the balcony chatting with my father and stare across the street trying to remember how it looked before the apartment building was constructed in that space. I can see from an open doorway on the ground level that wooden boxes are being stacked, and hauled out in front of a business. I tune out my father’s voice as I focus on the shape and size of the boxes. My Spanish needs work, and I ask my father, “Papi, what does ataúd mean?” The business slogan translates to “Quality Coffins.” I think about magic realism traditions in Latin American literature, and I am reminded that so often a country like this juxtaposes disparate images and experiences in such a casual manner. I don’t think I would be able to live across the street from a constant reminder of death anywhere else but on this incongruous island.

We drive to the countryside of El Seibo for a few days.

My father syncs his playlist and he directs my sister what song to play next. The first song is by Boy George. I watch my father sing along, and I can’t help but think about the Dominican Republic’s homophobic culture steeped in hyper-masculinity. Same-sex marriage is not recognized on the island, and members of the LGBTQ community continue to face discrimination and violence. I talk to my sister about this later that night, and she tells me small changes are coming to the island. The city of Santo Domingo hosts inclusive events like Draguéalo, where you can even sign up for a Vogue class.

My father’s playlist continues and I’m struck by his selections ranging from Taylor Swift to A.I.E. (A Mwana), a song by a 1970s group called Black Blood, featuring lyrics in Swahili.

I watched this Dominican dad jam across continents, decades, cultures, languages, and race. I realize there is so much I don’t know about him, and so often we shortchange our parents’ knowledge and experience, reducing them to stereotypes and gendered tropes.

My next lesson is on staying sexy.

After a few days in the countryside, my sister and I rent a hotel room in La Zona Colonial. We ready for a night out when she looks at my outfit and asks me, “Um, is that what you’re wearing tonight?” I thought my yellow jumpsuit was poppin’. My sister pulls out a little black dress from her overnight bag and kindly suggests I wear it. The dress is tiny. It’s skimpy. It’s super short. It’s absolutely perfect. I channel my inner Chapiadora, Goddess of Sex Appeal and Free Drinks, and dance all night. 

Growing up in the 90s, I styled myself in oversized men’s clothing. It wasn’t until that one magical summer in the Dominican Republic when the heat was too oppressive to wear jeans, so I wore—gasp—a skirt. That was the first time I felt sexy, and learned the power of sex appeal. Though I wielded that power throughout my twenties, it fell away in my thirties. Wearing my sister’s LBD I realize I still have “it,” and in the Dominican Republic, sex appeal is ageless. Be careful when you come here. You may fall in love with a local, or you may just fall in love with yourself again.

The island leaves me with one last lesson.

It comes late one night, sharing a few bottles of wine with my father and sister. No hay peor ciego que el que no quiere ver—the worst blind person is the one who refuses to see. I could say the current political landscape in the U.S. reflects this willful ignorance, a refusal to see; yet it is the same human experience felt across space and time.

I come away wondering about my own blind spots.

I board my return flight thinking up ways to combat willful ignorance at home, thinking about maintaining that flexible DR state of mind and thinking about buying a little black dress. As tourism in the Dominican Republic picks up again, and unfavorable headlines drop out of the news cycle, this changing island stands in its own plurality welcoming visitors, and offering endless opportunities to teach us something new.

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Lil Nas X has made headlines a lot lately. First, he had a song that blew up the country charts called “Old Town Road” with Billy Ray Cyrus. The song showed that the rapper was able to cross over into any genre and make it a success. He then made headlines again when he came out of the closet at the end of Pride month and the world celebrated. Now, Lil Nas X is setting Twitter on fire by suggesting that he and Mariah Carey should do a duet and, well, why not?

Lil Nas X wants to team up with Mariah Carey for a remix and, well, yes, please.

Lil Nas X is one of the most talked about musicians right now. Everyone has heard “Old Town Road” and the crossover hit is something we are still bopping to. Somehow, the rapper turned country star made Billy Ray Cyrus relevant again for more than being Miley Cyrus’s dad and that is something to admire.

Now he is asking Mariah Carey to join him for a remix and that just seems perfect. The singer is arguably one of the most talented famous musicians on the planet and her fandom is super dedicated. A hit with Carey is basically a way to immortalize yourself in pop culture.

Carey responded with a title mashing up one of her songs with Lil Nas X’s country hit.

Ummm…who doesn’t want this collab to happen? “One Sweet Day” and “Old Town Road” are two separate hits that we all love. Could you imagine them coming together and spreading their love all over the world?

Billboard shared a list of the longest running top songs and both artists are on the list.

the power between them to make a certified hit would definitely change the course of music history. If Mariah Carey could hold the top spot with 16 weeks and Lil Nas X can come in with 14 weeks, would a collab be the best hit ever? It might be. Who knows? Maybe Carey and Lil Nas X can team up and show us what they are made of.

Fans are already through around possible titles for the remix.

LOL. “Whistle Notes Edition” just sounds like a hit. We all know the iconic whistle notes that Carey has sent out in the universe and adding them to bop like “Old Town Road” just makes sense.

People are already stanning a remix that hasn’t even happened.

Basically, you can get that feeling by listening to the tow artist in the same playlist. We have seen crazier collabs that made so little sense, like Justin Bieber on “Despacito.” Who will ever forget him saying “burrito burrito” during a performance at a bar because he didn’t know the words and somehow that was his best bet?

Btw, Carey is ready to tap back into her country roots.

She already showed us that she has what it takes when the sang “Almost Home” for the “Oz the Great and the Powerful.” The Venezuelan singer clearly understands what it means to do the country thing and we should all be excited of her doing it again.

Lil Nas X fans can’t wait for a remix with Carey.

Her star power would definitely fit well with the rapper. He has built a name for himself and having her attached to one of his projects will only make him bigger and better. Stars supporting stars. That’s what this is all about.

People are begging Carey to make this happen.

We all know that the person who would have to make it happen is her. He is on board and so are his fans. We need just need her people to approve this project and get the ball rolling.

And, despite all of the excitement, it has made some people so excited that they’re confused.

We don’t know what is going on, but we ship it and approve it. Please make this happen, you two.

READ: Mariah Carey’s Assistant Alleges Singer Used Her Credit Card For Plastic Surgery Procedures