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11 Ways Latinos Out-Goth Everyone Else

Credit: @thekatvond / Instagram

What first comes to mind when you think of goths? Maybe, like, mood Brits listening to Joy Division in the early ’80s? Industrial-loving Germans in leather? Cybergoths with plastic locs? Roving bands of East Germanic peoples instrumental in the downfall of the Western Roman Empire?

Well, you should be thinking about Latinos. Here, allow us to make our case:

We’re obsessed with death.

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Credit: Rebloggy

I mean, sure, plenty of cultures are, but we do it with style. For example…

…Take a look at La Catrina and Día De Los Muertos.

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Credit: Diego Rivera

What better way to honor and remember the dead (v goth) than with gorgeous, meaning-laden memorials of the deceased? And what better way to express the ephemeral nature of the material world than with a dead rich lady skeleton in a beautiful hat? (Edgar Allen Poe wishes he’d thought of her.)

And take Prayers, for instance.

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Credit: YouTube / Pitchfork / Prayers

Goth + cholo = Prayers

Then there’s La Santa Muerte.

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Credit: La Casa De Las Orishas / Blogspot

Don’t mess around with this one.

And, indeed, saints in general.

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Credit: CatholicShopping.com

You don’t know fear until you’ve been trapped in a dark chapel with nothing but a looming plaster statue of a pain-twisted San Lazaro, his face forever stuck in a silent scream.

That whole obsessed-with-Morrissey thing.

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Credit: ILoveMorrissey / Tumblr

Especially among Mexicans. No, really, it’s been documented. And that places us firmly at the intersection of “goth” and “emo.”

And who’s more goth than Kat Von D?

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Credit: Tumblr / KatVonDWorld

Even her cats are goth.

Some of our greatest poets were gothtastic.

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Credit: mitú / Federico García Lorca

Federico García Lorca was goth af. Read the full poem here.

Our stories and legends will give you nightmares.

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Credit: Universal Studios / Halloween Horror Nights

Take the time-honored tale of La Llorona, for instance. Her kids are gone and you’re next.

Our movies? Dark af.

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Credit: N.T.M.

Take 1961’s The Curse of the Crying Woman (based on the aforementioned legend of La Llorona) or any of Brazilian filmmaker José Mojica Marins’ “Coffin Joe” movies. Freaky.

And last but not least: Abuelas.

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Credit: PBS

Stick with me here, OK? Our abuelitas are constantly thinking about death, warning that everything from sleeping with wet hair to going out barefoot will lead to your demise. They’re also often a big fan of charms and rituals to keep evil spirits and thoughts at bay. THAT IS EXTREMELY GOTH.

Sleep tight, fellow gothlings.

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Credit: FroxenDrop / YouTube

WATCH: This Cholo Goth Video Is So Gothtastic It Listens To The Cure In The Rain

This Guy's Pokemon Go Corrido Is Funny And Actually Pretty Sweet

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This Guy’s Pokemon Go Corrido Is Funny And Actually Pretty Sweet

Credit: Cesar Mp3 / YouTube

“La neta me daba pena que me vieran mis amigos.”

With the popularity of Pokemon Go, it was inevitable that some clever musician out there would write a song about pokeballs, Pidgeottos and Pikachus. Here’s one musician who wrote a corrido that is not only funny, but sweet. In the first few lines, he admits being skeptical about the game, thinking that everyone playing it is crazy. Then, he gives it a shot, and despite being embarrassed to play it in front of friends, he admits that the game has given him a chance to spend more time with his son. Awwww.

Here are the lyrics if you want to sing along:

Varias gentes en la calle buscaban un Pokemon

Casi los atropellaban una troca y un camión

Yo miré que los choferes le pitaban desde lejos

Y ellos en su celular andaban como pensando ‘dónde estará, dónde estará?’

Ahora si que se volaron la barda con ese pedo

Eso suelo que me queda que me creía un pendejo

Cuando y veía a esa gente hasta me reía de ellos

Pero viendo bien las cosas hasta dónde llegaremos

El juego Pokemon Go

Ahora si que es el diablo

Yo bajé la aplicación pues mi hijo quería jugarlo

No le pude dar la contra

Y nos fuimos a jugar

Y me encontré con Charmander, Squirtle y Bulbasaur

A quién han encontrado ustedes?

La neta me daba pena que me vieran mis amigos

Pero me sentía gustoso por andar junto a mi hijo

Apenas así lo sacó

Todo el día pasa encerrado

Clavado en los pinches juegos que lo tienen enviciado

El juego Pokemon Go

Ahora si que eso el diablo

Yo bajé la aplicación pues mi hijo quería jugarlo

No le pude dar la contra

Y nos fuimos a jugar

Y me encontré con Charmander, Squirtle y Bulbasaur

El juego Pokemon Go

Ahora si que eso el diablo

Yo bajé la aplicación pues mi hijo queria jugarlo

No le pude dar la contra

Y nos fuimos a jugar

Y me encontré con Charmander, Squirtle y Bulbasaur

WATCH: This Mexican Guy Realized His Yard Is A Pokemon Gym And The Results Are Hilarious

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