11 Times Ted Cruz Proved to be a Bigger Asshole than Donald Trump

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Many of us worry about everything that Donald Trump has said because there exists a possibility that he might become our president. However, we should ALSO pay attention to all the crazy things Ted Cruz has said, because he may just be a bigger asshole than Trump. Like when he said all these things…

1. “I didn’t threaten to shut down the government.”


After he insisted on a government shutdown in objection of the Planned Parenthood federal funding. Luckily, Congress ignored the guy and funded the government to stay open.

2. “It [gay marriage] gets enforced against Christian pastors who decline to perform gay marriages.”

Ted Cruz with a big head. #tedcruz #bighead #famouspeoplewithbigheads

A photo posted by @famouspeoplewithbigheads on


Yep, and there’s more. During an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN), Cruz continued “if you look at other nations that have gone down the road towards gay marriage, that’s the next step of where it gets enforced. It gets enforced against Christian pastors who decline to perform gay marriages, who speak out and preach biblical truths on marriage, that has been defined elsewhere as hate speech, as inconsistent with the enlightened view of government.”

3. “You always have to worry about something that is a so-called scientific theory that fits every scenario.”



That’s Teddy’s take on climate change. Has he been living under a rock?

4. “Federal government has no business sticking its nose in education. We need to repeal every word of Common Core!”

This man is going to be our President and I can't wait. #GOPDebate #TedCruz #CruzCrew @sentedcruz @cruzforpresident

A photo posted by Ryan Pangburn (@darealpanger54) on


In case others like Ted Cruz don’t understand what Common Core is, it cannot be “repealed.”

READ: Ted Cruz Makes Machine Gun Bacon because What Else Were Firearms Made For?

5. “If I’m never seen again, please send a search and rescue team. I very much hope by tomorrow morning I don’t wake up amidst the Syrian rebels.”


This was Ted Cruz on Obama’s alleged plan to kidnap him during a meeting at the White House. Dad joke gone wrong or just plain stupid?

6. “‘Net neutrality’ is Obamacare for the Internet.”

Poll: Did Ted Cruz reveal classified information during last nights debate? #republican #debate #tedcruz

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Cruz proclaimed that after Obama said he supported net neutrality, which means you have access to anything and everything online without government censorship. Clearly, good ol’ Ted didn’t know what it meant.

READ: Ted Cruz’s College Roommate Puts Him on Blast via a Twitter

7. “I am a very, very proud wacko bird.”

File under "things to never wear again." #tedcruz #rhinestonecowboy

A photo posted by Lori Wescott (@loripalooza) on

Responding to John McCain’s comment on Ted Cruz being a “wacko bird” for opposing immigration reform. Just what we want to hear from our potential future president.

8. “Instead of nominating a health professional, he nominated someone who is an anti-gun activist.”


On Obama’s nomination of Vivek Murthy, who’s anti-gun, for Surgeon General. But what’s wrong with that?

9. “Green Eggs and Ham.”

Ted Cruz. Power bottom. #tedcruz #gopdrone #notvotingforhim #nofuckingway #powerbottom

A photo posted by David Alan Goldberg (@matzohballerdavid) on


Ted read “Green Eggs and Ham,” his daughter’s favorite bedtime story during his “filibuster” of the affordable care act AND claimed his dad came up with the book. Say what?!

10. “Twenty years from now if there is some obscure trivial pursuit question, I am confident I will be the answer.”


No comment.

11. “You don’t need a punchline. You just say his name, people laugh.”

#tedcruz #nosejob #makeover

A photo posted by David McDeath (@david_mcdeath) on


Ted said while describing Vice President Joe Biden, but that’s funny because it also happens when people say “Ted Cruz.”

Do you know of other crazy things Ted Cruz has said? Share them! Don’t forget to share this story with your friends by clicking the button below!

Have You Heard Fred Armisen and Horatio Sanz Do Cuban Accents? Here's Your Chance


Have You Heard Fred Armisen and Horatio Sanz Do Cuban Accents? Here’s Your Chance

“Dandole… dandole… sexo, sexo, DROGA!”

Saturday Night Live alums Fred Armisen and Horatio Sanz break out their Cuban accents in a YouTube sketch called “Toy Collectors #1.” Armisen and Sanz play Cuban toy collectors who “unbox” toys from popular TV shows such as Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad and The Big Bang Theory. Wondering where they learned to speak Spanish? Armisen’s mother is Venezuelan and Sanz was born in Chile (to Chilean parents, obviously).

WATCH: Stephen Colbert’s RIDICULOUS ‘Audition’ Tape for the El Chapo Biopic

What do you think about Armisen and Sanz’s characters? Click on the share button below to send to your friends. 

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