15 Things Latino Parents Have Definitely Threatened Us With

If you still cringe when you hear someone count to 3 slowly in Spanish, you are not alone. Together, we can seek closure. Or an affordable therapist.

1. A “Pow-Pow”

2. Un Chancletazo


3. Una galleta.

Credit: Mitú / Regina Castañeda

Literally: a cracker. Non-literally: a smack across the face. It’s confusing: your mind gets worried, but your body gets hungry.

4. Threatening to stop the car.

5. Taking your phone away.

6. Separation from your siblings.

So what if you made your baby brother bleed? You toughened him up; he’ll thank you later! Pero like, after the stitches wear off.

7. Not letting you see your primos

Which sucks, because those are the only people your mom trusts without having to do a background check on, find a credit report for, or have investigators follow.

8. Never letting you sleep over.

9. The cocotazo!

10. Un sopapo.

At first you’re trying not to laugh because that word is hilarious…

Then you remember the last time you received one…

11. Un bofetón.

12. Una patada al culo.

RUN or ponte pá tu número STAT.

13. Un pescoset.

14. El cinturón.

Even just the mere mention of it made you stop whatever you were doing: “A las una… a las dos… y…”

And, finally…

15. Death itself.

“If you endanger your life by getting a motorcycle, te voy a matar.” Wait. What?

So remember kids, no matter how many times your parents feign ignorance by saying, “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you kids,” they already have 142 options in mind.

READ: 13 Ways Mom Put Her Chanclas To Good Use

What would your loving parents threaten you with? Mitú wants to know; comment below.

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