Stopping the car means the driver now has two hands available for smacking.
5. Taking your phone away.
(As you got older, obvi. “Solo los malcriados” have phones at a young age.) It’s scary knowing your parents have access to your texts and pics… until you remember they don’t know how to use their own phone.
6. Separation from your siblings.
So what if you made your baby brother bleed? You toughened him up; he’ll thank you later! Pero like, after the stitches wear off.
7. Not letting you see your primos
Which sucks, because those are the only people your mom trusts without having to do a background check on, find a credit report for, or have investigators follow.
8. Never letting you sleep over.
Sometimes because you misbehaved, sometimes because of lice,
sometimes because your parents watch too much crime news.
9. The cocotazo!
Maybe it’s “coco”-tazo because it feels like a coconut landing on your head? You know, if instead of dropping coconuts, palm trees threw them at you.
10. Un sopapo.
At first you’re trying not to laugh because that word is hilarious…
Then you remember the last time you received one…
11. Un bofetón.
See also: una bofetada, boféta… So many ways to say it, so little time (to run).
12. Una patada al culo.
RUN or ponte pá tu número STAT.
13. Un pescoset.
And it does NOT involve a spoonful of sugar.
14. El cinturón.
Even just the mere mention of it made you stop whatever you were doing: “A las una… a las dos… y…”
15. Death itself.
“If you endanger your life by getting a motorcycle, te voy a matar.” Wait. What?
So remember kids, no matter how many times your parents feign ignorance by saying, “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you kids,” they already have 142 options in mind.
READ: 13 Ways Mom Put Her Chanclas To Good Use
What would your loving parents threaten you with? Mitú wants to know; comment below.