Telenovelas are life. For a lot of us, these daytime shows were a part of our lives since childhood, and let’s face it, every time we visit mom or abuela, even now, we’re bound to gather around the TV and watch the drama du jour unfold. But it’s not just about the drama though, it’s the sex appeal, the glam, the over-the-top costumes and mansions —and the galán.

These daytime soaps are the perfect blend of beautiful people, intensely physical scenes and the lyrical drama of the Spanish language in all its romantic splendor.

Telenovelas are more than just drama, for a lot of kids these shows were a source of fashion and style growing up.

credit Instagram @telenovelasfans

But Telenovelas aren’t necessarily just about love and lust, they’re a source of trends of both beauty and fashion. There’s a reason why the cliché about Latina women being glamorous at all costs, is alive and well —it’s a major unspoken theme in just about every piece of Latin-American pop culture. 

There are so many things these shows teach us about makeup. There’s always a protagonist —who might be a little passive and a goody-two-shoes. There’s the evil antagonist —probably a bat-shit crazy evil lady. And then there’s the love interest —a wildly good-looking human, who most of the time happens to be a millionaire; and they all have their own, unique makeup looks that set them apart. The greatest thing about all of them though is that these dramatic characters weren’t just people we watched on the show, for most of us Latinx growing up watching them, they served as our first source of fashion and beauty inspiration. They all had their signature looks and you’d be lying if you said you were never inspired by Mia Colucci’s pink-hued glittery glam or Belinda’s masterful Silvana Del Valle and her signature red hair and pigtails.

So, are you a good girl, with a protagonist-worthy glow and perfectly coiffed hair? Or a bold, red-lipped bad girl? No matter who you want to channel today, Telenovelas have looks for everyone. So we went ahead and rounded up our favorite Telenovela glam looks that you can recreate in 2019 and will look just as fire now as they did way back then:

1. Mia Colucci from Rebelde

credit Instagram @miacoluccistar

The rich and popular but very spoiled Mia Colucci aka. Mexican Regina George, was a style icon for every Telenovela-watching teen in the early 00s. We chose her makeup because it’s very simple, dewy and glowy, basically the original Glossier no-makeup makeup look. Recreate the shimmery pink eye shadow look with Lime Crime’s iridescent Diamond Dew shadow in Rose Goals.  Go crazy with your highlighter and blush, we recommend Fenty Beauty’s Killawatt highlighter in Wattabrat for a pink shimmer or in Lightning Dust/Fire for a more pearlescent finish.  Finish off the look with a pink lipgloss, we’d go for the most iconic pink gloss of 2019, Nars’ Orgasm.

2. The queen of evil herself; Rubí

credit Instagram @rubisincera

Of course, we had to include the baddest of them all, the original gold-digger Rubí. This bombshell’s glam is nothing short of iconique. The bouncy hair, the full lips, and perfectly delineated eyebrows…swoon. We were almost more obsessed with her than we were with heartthrob Sebastian Rulli who played galán de galanes, Héctor Ferrer. The beautiful anti-hero’s makeup look was just as trendy in 2004 as it is now in 2019 —fifteen years later! The red lip, wispy lashes, dark brows, and perfect complexion are every beauty vloggers’ dream. So to do it yourself we say, you can’t go wrong with the classic Ruby Woo lippy for that crimson-red Rubí pout (it does carry our heroine’s name after all). Sculpt your brows with cult favorite Anastasia Beverly Hills’ Dip Brow Pomade. And obviously go crazy with the falsies —blow-out strongly encouraged.

3. Marimar – Costeñita soy, con mis abuelos crecí yo.

credit Instagram @Diosathalia

Marimar was the story of a poor girl who lived by the ocean with her grandparents. She was sun-kissed, her hair had the perfect beachy waves, she was basically a beautiful Latina mermaid and we stan. Yes, granted, her makeup didn’t require much production —this character might’ve been the very precursor of the beachy-makeup trend way back in 1994. To get her mermaid-worthy hair, a Surf Styling Cream which adds texture and gives you that salt-water wavy finish would do wonders. Add a dark, copper-hued bronzer to ace the beach girl tan. And for the lips? Choose a matte, velvety lipstick to get the classic 90s nude lip, may we suggest Urban Decay’s Vice lipstick in the shade fuel? You won’t regret it.

4.  Jade from ‘El Clon’

Jade was every Latinx kid’s favorite middle-eastern beauty growing up, her and fellow gem-stone babe Jasmine, but we’re not focusing on Disney here. The Brazilian Telenovela ‘El Clon’ had all the best elements of the genre, love triangles, twins separated at birth, evil villains, lots of eyeliner, genetic experiments —nope, not kidding— and it all took place in the beautiful land of Morocco, needless to say, there was a lot of kohl involved. We loved the over-the-top styling, and even more over-the-top makeup looks on Jade. 

Trying to recreate her signature eyeliner might be complicated, to say the least. But with a lot of patience and a few Q-tips, we’re sure you’ll get there. Give it a go with a highly-pigmented and super precise pencil, Le Crayon Khôl eyeliner from Lancôme, might be your best ally to achieve a similar shape to the one Jade wore most of the time. For the rest of the look, she always wore natural tones, so add a dark brown eyeshadow on your lids and finish off with a matte nude lipstick of your choice. 

5. Soraya Montenegro from María la del Barrio

Credit Instagram @balmorepadilla06

“¿Qué haces besando a la lisiada?” has turned into the meme of an entire generation. Naturally, whenever there’s a conversation about Telenovelas, evil mistress Soraya Montenegro simply must be involved. There will never be a more iconic villain than the woman who bitch-slapped an innocent girl in a wheelchair and murdered the sweet old lady who took care of la lisiada. 

Soraya sported the most perfect 90s hair flippin’ blowout there’s ever been, so we can’t recommend anything other than an appointment at the nearest hairstyling salon to emulate the look. As far as makeup goes, you have to choose an earth-toned lipstick like a deep brown or a warm terracotta like NYX’s velvet lipstick in the shade Berlin to get the super-villain pout. Add some statement clip-on earrings and a lot of sass, and you’re ready to kick some ass.

If this is the first you’re hearing of this, you might want to just plan on skipping your next meal. The United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) sets a legal minimum for the amount of “food defects” a consumer can reasonably come to expect from their food purchases. Growing up Latino, the bulk of your food probably came from Costco, where every apple is encased in plastic and the food feels pretty sterile. Never have we found a bug in anything from the holy grail of Costco.

No matter where you do your grocery shopping, often, you can’t even see the rodent hairs or disembodied insects in your food. But the FDA knows it’s there, and the agency is trying to keep your cafecito at a minimum of just 10 mg of animal poop per pound.

Along with a small dose of mierda, you’re also looking at 4% to 6% of your coffee beans being moldy or insect-infested.

Talk about a witches’ brew. Your cafecito brew in the morning is basically the same potion our ancestors made for their enemies. Café Mierda, que rico. It makes sense though. Coffee is grown in the humid, tropical countries of much of our people. That mold creates mycotoxins which are toxic chemicals, the most common of which in coffee is a powerful carcinogen. The second most common mycotoxin found in coffee is Ochratochin A, which can deplete dopamine and cause cell death in your brain. Some say that we’re exposed to small amounts of toxins no matter what we do, but others suggest listening to your body. We all react differently to different stimuli.

Worse still is that there might be up to an eyedropper full of blood and pus in that leche.

Cows that are used for dairy are kept forcibly impregnated their whole lives so that they can produce milk. Once they begin the very natural process of lactation, their calves are sent away, and they’re hooked up to metal milking machines. The irritation from those machines causes mastitis, which is an infection of the udder. That means that those machines are milking infectious pus along with the milk. According to the USDA, 16.5% of cows used for their milk are suffering from mastitis.

This is so common that the FDA legally allows up to 750 million pus cells in every liter of milk. That’s about an eyedropper full of pus. Cafe sin leche, por favor.

Insects might not perk up your spices, but they’re there anyway.

Paprika is allowed to be comprised of up to 20% mold. Let’s face it. Latinos are more comfortable with mold than your average Becky. We just slice that moldy part off the bread and make toast like it’s a no-brainer. For some reason, when we learn the government is allowing us to eat mold without our consent, it feels gross. If you’re not grossed out yet, you should know your typical spice jar of paprika is likely to have 225 tiny limbs or heads of dismembered insects, and over 30 rodent hairs.

This all makes sense if you try to reconnect to our food system.

Access to food on a daily basis looks like walking down illuminated, refrigerated grocery aisles, and choosing between plastic wrapped chicken breast, or plastic-wrapped Beyond burgers. Root vegetables like carrots are being misted every twenty minutes and look so clean and fresh. When we remember where, or who, all these products come from, it’s easier to imagine why insects may have hopped a ride from the farm to to your plate. Produce is of the earth, and harvest season may be the buggiest season of the year, depending on the crop.

That said, food safety specialist Ben Chapmen told CNN that he looks at insects in your food “as a yuck factor versus a risk factor. Insect parts are gross, but they don’t lead to foodborne illnesses.” More dangerous for human health is when plastic, stone or metal ends up in a food harvest, which is why processed food goes under x-rays and metal detectors.

You can control the amount of feces and rodent hair in your food when you buy as fresh food as possible.

Instead of using a can of corn, buy fresh corn on the cob. You might just see the insects crawling out of the cob as you start to peel the corn, and rinse away all the mierda you can. Technically, the FDA is more concerned with regulating the amount of insect larvae in your cans of sweet corn. That said, 5% of corn husks used for tamales are expected to be moldy and insect-infested. Careful with your fresh tortillas though, because the FDA allows an average of one whole insect per quarter cup of cornmeal. Is it racism? We can’t say.