Let’s Talk About Mother Wounds That Come Up Around Mother’s Day
As a Blaxican woman born and raised in the Long Beach area of California, I have learned just how necessary it is for us within the Latinx community to heal generational wounds. I pursued the path of becoming a spiritual guide to do just that. Still, I found a lack of Latina voices speaking to needs that mattered to us.
It wasn’t until I became a mother in Boyle Heights that I realized parenthood is amazing, but has also unearthed my own mother wounds. Mother wounds can look like anything from abuse to parenting mistakes our mothers have made simply because they are human — they are Latinas trying to build a life filled with beauty for their children in spaces that do not honor their poderosa energy.
So, with all this in mind, I dreamt of creating a space where our inner divine can heal those broken places — right here in Boyle Heights. The Inner Diosa event is all about the divine feminine within that has the ability to nurture the mother wound.
For many Latinx folx in the United States, Mother’s Day is celebrated twice, which can bring on lots of stress, pressure, and in some cases, grief. What would it look like to check in with ourselves at the end of the month to exhale and release all the tension that’s built? Could we reimagine what it means to heal within our community if we start with this connection between maternal relationships and our Inner Diosa?
Now, if you aren’t able to make it to Inner Diosa, first of all, we’ll miss you! But here are some ways you can create a healing space at home to release the tension that may build over the course of Mother’s Day and Día de las Madres:
1. Honor your growth.
If you’ve survived a strained, lost, or abusive relationship to your mother, you deserve your flowers. If you’ve honored your mama and lost yourself in the process of pleasing her, you deserve your flowers. Different flowers represent different things, so find the one that reflects the healing of your wound and gift them to yourself.
- Daisy – innocence, simplicity
- Hydrangea – togetherness, unity
- Lily – purity, refinement
- Lilac – youth, innocence
- Gardenia – hope, clarity
If you’re allergic or not a fan of flowers, a great alternative is to nurture a small plant, and watch it grow as you care for it over time. A good starter plant is pathos, it can go about two weeks without watering. I love grabbing my plants from my local nursery, Latinx with Plants.
2. Honor your space.
Set aside time to create an altar using the flowers that reflect your journey, something that symbolizes your mother, and something that symbolizes your inner child. Dive into a meditation practice — it doesn’t have to be long! You can find nature sounds online and reflect on the following.
- I am most proud of myself when ____.
- I am grounded.
- I am safe.
- I am connected to Mama Tierra.
- I am worthy of every good thing.
I suggest lighting some candles and using aromatherapy during this time so your body can begin to absorb a healing memory that’s associated with your mother-child relationship. I recommend scents from Shocks of Love, a queer owned small business that supports holistic health!
3. Honor your body.
For anyone who’s experienced maternal neglect or abandonment, soaking in a bath or taking time to really enjoy a meal can feel unnecessary. What we may be telling ourselves is “I’m just not worth the time.”
That isn’t true — you are worth every good thing. Our bodies hold our memories, good and bad. When we take time to care for our skin and nourish our bodies, we are telling them they are on their way to healing, and reprogramming our relationship to trauma responses that may have been stored over time.
A great place to find skincare items is Natural Feeling Spa, a Latina owned, all natural skincare line. Create your own skincare routine, and commit to practicing it daily, or every other day. A simple cleanse, hydrate, and moisturize routine goes a long way in reminding yourself you are worthy of care.
Our maternal relationships shape us in a big way. If they aren’t full of great memories or spark insecurities, we can actually take the time to mother ourselves and find our Inner Diosa along the way.
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