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If You Grew Up In A Biracial Home, These Awkward Situations I’ve Dealt With Will Be Way Too Relatable

Throughout my childhood, I never really identified as Afro-Latina. I was just a kid who happened to have two parents who celebrated two different cultures. My mom is Salvadoran and my dad is African-American. As much as I grew up loving the mix of these cultures, to others this was confusing.

Other Afro-Latinas or biracial people will relate to situations like these…

As an Afro-Latina, there are definitely a lot of ups and downs I encountered in regards to my identity and appearance. But one of the biggest downsides was that people often mistaken my mom for my babysitter.

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON

Since my mom is so light-skinned compared to my little brother and I, people always think she’s our babysitter.

And because people find it so hard to believe that she’s actually my mom, I get bombarded with questions like: “So…what are you???” 

CREDIT: GIPHY

I get this question almost every single time I meet someone. As annoying as it can be, I’ve decided to just let people struggle for a bit and guess for themselves. The most obvious guesses are Dominican, Panamanian, Hawaiian and Jamaican…all of which are incorrect.

And if for some reason they still can’t seem to wrap their minds around it, I take out my phone show them a picture.

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON

Yup, I always keep a picture of my family in my phone just in case they don’t shut up. 🙂

But when people aren’t bugging me about “what I am,” forms like these are what really frustrate me:

 

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON

Unfortunately, I don’t really have any other option than to select “other” every time I fill out one of these forms. Sometimes there’s a glorious moment in which they give you the option of “two or more races,” but for the most part, I’m stuck between choosing Latino or Black – even though I’m both.

I often even felt limited when it came to speaking my own language.

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON

Growing up, my mom told us to keep our Spanish to a minimum if we knew that other people around us couldn’t speak or understand the language. Since my dad’s side of the family didn’t speak Spanish, I was taught that it could be seen as rude, disrespectful, or as if I was trying to hide something. But now that I’m older I’ve tossed those rules out the window. Every single person is entitled to speak whatever language they want – it’s part of their culture and their identity, and I’ll always be proud to be bilingual.

But having conversations with my mom completely in Spanish is one of the best feelings ever.

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON

My dad not being able to understand, nor speak Spanish actually works to my advantage sometimes, especially when I need to tell my mom something I don’t want my dad to know about. Those moments when I get to just sit down and talk to my mom in Spanish, without being criticized or interrupted, are some of the most comfortable moments ever.

As for food, it’s always the best of both worlds.

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON

With the combination of tamales, collard greens, pupusas and hot water cornbread, I *always* look forward to holiday family gatherings. No matter how culturally different my mom’s and dad’s family is, when my abuela and aunties come together in the kitchen, it’s freaking heaven…seriously the best combination ever.

And the same goes for the music.

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON

With my mom’s love for salsa and my dad’s love for old-school R&B, the party playlist at family gatherings is always LIT. Even if my dad’s side of the family doesn’t understand the lyrics to my mom’s Julio Iglesias jams, they still get up to dance and these are some of the most fun times ever.

Even though I faced frustrating situations for being Afro-Latina (aka myself), growing up with my bestie who was also raised in a dual-cultural household made situations like these more bearable.

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON

We both understood that we weren’t tied down to just one race, one culture, one identity. We both understood that being told we weren’t “Black enough,” “Mexican enough,” “Salvadorian enough,” or “Filipino enough,” was not a comment worth dreading on. We were ourselves, and that was always enough.

I felt like we were like the real Dragon Ball Z fusion – two in one – and we loved and embraced this every single day.

CREDIT: DRAGON BALL Z / OCEAN GROUP

Just like the fusion of Trunks and Gohan in Dragon Ball Z, being both Salvadorian and African-American only makes me a bigger and better person.

Despite the ups and downs, I’d never trade being the best of both minorities for anything.

CREDIT: CHRISTINA HENDERSON

I’ll always own it and forever be proud.


– By Christina Henderson, as told to Jessica Garcia.


READ: 11 Awesome Ways Latinos And Filipinos Are Totally Connected


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Show Mom How Much You Love Her With These Sweet Mother’s Day Gifts

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Show Mom How Much You Love Her With These Sweet Mother’s Day Gifts

Mother’s Day is just one of the days in the year when we show our mom how much we love her. She gave us life and isn’t shy about reminding us. Why not make this day a little special with a nice gift? Here’s a little guide to get you started. Use code momdaywam2021 for a discount on all of your mom merch!

Love You Mom Mug | $14.99 – $17.99

mitú

There was nothing more dreadful than not being able to find something. You just knew that when you asked your mom for help that it came with a lot of strings attached. The mere idea of mom searching and finding it sent us into a wild frenzy trying to find it before she got to the room.

This mug is the perfect reminder of those mildly scary moments of missing remotes and socks. Now, as an adult, you can all look back and laugh because it isn’t that scary anymore, right? 😨

Nadie Me Ayuda En Esta Casa | $24.99

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You can’t forget this absolute classic. This shirt is one of the most relatable gifts you can give your mother. She is always doing everything for everyone and no one wants to help. This shirt will show that you acknowledge that you don’t do enough and appreciate just how hard she works.

Now, this doesn’t mean you can stay not helping. Let this be the start of you changing some of your own practices and helping your mom around the house. it is never too late.

Mom, Ma, Ama, Madre, Mujer Mug | $19.99

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A nice little mug with mom in all the ways we say it is just a nice addition to your mom’s coffee mug collection. It will definitely bring a smile to her face every time she sees it because it just shows how much you are thinking of her.

Pregúntale A Tu Papá Tee | $24.99 – $26.99

mitú

How many times have you heard your mom say this? It is never when you need to find something because dad never knows where to find stuff. That is just a cold hard fact about life in a Latino household. This was always posed to you when you asked mom to go to a sleepover or anything that required approval.

This will not only make your mom laugh, but dad will chuckle as well. After all, he knows that his word is only as good as his vieja will let it be. Lol.

Best Amá Ever Mug | $14.99 – $17.99

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Let your mom brag all the time, any time. This mug is perfect for her to take to work so that everyone in her office sees that she is, indeed, the best amá ever. I’m sure that people will think that their mom is the best but you know that your mom is the best. This will soon be the ultimate status symbol.

Quiero Nietos Unisex Tee | $24.99 – $27.99

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We all know that mom (and dad) can’t wait to have nietos to spoil endlessly. This shirt will give them a physical way to constantly remind you that they can’t wait for those little ones. You might regret giving her a shirt that she can wear every time you go to visit her but she will love it. Maybe it is just a quick laugh but we all know that she will wear it to manifest her nietos.

Esta Casa No Es Hotel Poster | $16.99 – $19.99

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Help your mom decorate the house with her own sense of humor. The poster will give your mom a reference to point to when people ask her for too much. Like, learn the house. Find your own towels. Get your own juice. Room service and hotel-level work is not happening in this house. You got legs, arms, and claim to be a grown up.

Happy anniversary to all of the mothers, abuelas, tías, and mother figures in the world.

READ: Vanessa Bryant Celebrates Like A Proud Mom As Daughter Natalia Announces She’s Going To USC

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Users On Reddit Are Sharing Their Wild Experiences With Sperm Donation

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Users On Reddit Are Sharing Their Wild Experiences With Sperm Donation

With sperm donations, families of all sorts have access to planning and creating a family. According to the US National Library of Medicine
National Institutes of Health in 2015–2017, 440,986 families were estimated to have used sperm donation to start families.
Of course, while a benefit the circumstances of sperm donations can often spurn questions and odd scenarios.

Users on Reddit are speaking about their own sperm donation stories and the answers are pretty surprising.

Check them out below!

“So, I’m not the dad, but a kid. So my bio-dad donated sperm and gave permission to be identified. Didn’t even have to be after 18. In counting (because we’re not sure if we’ve found all of us yet) there are 53 half-siblings, all his kids. My full sister and I didn’t know we were donor babies until I was a freshman in college, and her a junior in high school. It was a few more years before we found out the scope of our family. As such, I never got to meet the man as he passed away in 2018, but I’ve been getting to know my half siblings and I’m sad to have missed him. He apparently engaged in annual reunions and was interested in getting to know all of the kids if they (and their families) were open to it. We all support each other basically by default even though we didn’t grow up together. What’s even wilder about him is that he got national news coverage for something besides his giant flock of kids. The guy got married to a woman the day he met her as a competition to be his bride in the Mall of America. It was apparently a heartfelt story and the two of them had a 20 something year marriage with 4 kids that they raised themselves. The Mall of America even has a plaque with his name on it now, so you can go find him if you really try. The man was a weirdo, but in the best way. He was kind and generous with his time and really seemed to care about *all* of his kids, or at least the ones he knew about.”-SilverRock75

“Oh hey, I can answer this! I’m not a donor, but I was donor conceived, along with my sister (same donor). I had a great dad and never had any desire to find out who my donor was, but I was always curious about siblings, especially when I learned there’s no legal limit on how many children you can father when you donate sperm in the US.

Well, one 23andMe test later, and the first result on the top of the list is a half sister in Texas. We get in contact, realize we have a TON in common, and it sparked a fire in her to find more siblings. She took an Ancestry DNA test and the top of that list was a man in California, listed as father.

She got in touch with him right away, turns out he’s a fantastic guy. He was adopted himself and also got in contact with his birth mom as an adult, so he had been on our side of the situation and was very open and willing to talk. His wife has been super supportive of us meeting too. He has three, uh, organically made kids of his own (I was especially ecstatic to learn that I’m a big sister), plus we’ve since found three more half siblings who’ve all been very cool and excited to find each other. At this point, I’ve met all but one of them in person, and I got to meet my biological grandmother too.” – racecarart

“A guy I know in his 70s got a call from a guy in his 50s saying ‘hey, I’m your son, oh and I just learned I have a genetic disease so your other kids should probably get tested’”- daxelkurtz

“Totally not an answer but my gf and I were just wondering about whether there were any protocols for how much of one donor’s sperm is allowed to be distributed within a given area.

Like, what could prevent 2 moms from having the donor’s offspring in the same area and having those kids grow up and meet as teens/adults, start a relationship and realize they’re related?”- MightyMaus1

“Some clinics will put a cap on number of families, but there are manh cases of people have dozens, even up to 40, 80, 100 half siblings. It brings up the ethics around this, and many donor conceived people are vehemently against this and believe there needs to be a limit in place.”- TheTinyOne23

“I donated for six months in university. Twice a week. I gave consent to be contacted. That was close to 20 years ago now.

I did call and ask once, my sperm resulted in 24 successful pregnancies. That was all the office could tell me.

I have not done 23andme or anything like that.”- ciroryder

“That’s quite crazy. You have 24 children as far as the spiralling coil DNA goes. They’ve all got half or full siblings they don’t know about (well, the full ones will surely know). That’s really crazy. In 1000 years, you might be the Ghengis Khan where your dna is traced to like 1 in 3 people on mars or something. The dna analysis will just show you, not the fact that your a donor.”- The_Queef_of_England

“My aunts had to get a donor for both children, and he happened to live in the same neighborhood (can’t remember if that was a coincidence or not). But he is a close family friend now! He comes over for their birthdays and other family events. They don’t refer to him as their dad really, only as a joke, but he is very close with our family.”-anniecakes22

“I was donor-conceived. I took a DNA test, his natural-born daughter took a DNA test. So really neither of us ‘gave permission’. There are 28 siblings so far. It was quite a shock. I wasn’t expecting it and didn’t know. I was 38.

I’ve met the donor and most of the half siblings. He’s a cool guy. I think it is eerie how I see many of my mannerisms in him and the other siblings. I know there is a wide range of emotions for people who experience this sort of thing, but for me it was generally positive.”-mynuname

“It is incredible how the similarities are passed down. My father-in-law had a daughter that was the result of a one-night stand and was adopted by a wonderful family. The adoption agency had a registration of birth parents and kids, who could each (blind to the other) give permission to be contacted, and only if both parties did, they’d put them in contact. So this happens in her early 20’s, and they make arrangements for her to fly to meet her birth family, including my wife and her brother (her half-siblings). My wife goes to pick her up at the airport since the parents live out of town. There were no arrangements, no pictures, nothing (this was pre-Facebook) – my wife saw her come out the doors, knew without question it was her, and she knew the same, they had a huge tearful hug without even any words. They just knew, by looks, by mannerisms, whatever.

The incredible thing is, I’ve shown pictures of the half-sister, with or without her birthfather and half-sister, and everyone agrees she doesn’t actually look much like them. But there’s something about the looks and how they act that is so similar between all of them, it really is incredible.

Edit – one more detail. We found out years later that the father and daughter contacted the agency to open themselves up to contact…within 24 hours of each other. A complete coincidence. The agency actually didn’t do it for a couple weeks because they were trying to contact the daughter’s adoptive parents (who had passed away, hence the delay) because they just assumed there had been contact since they were in touch so impossibly close together.”- mrdannyg21

“My step-mom was an early donation conceived baby. She’s done 23&Me and Ancestry. Last I heard she was up to 23 (!!) half-siblings. Their donor father died in the late 1980s and seems to have been a good man.”-MyMelancholyBaby

“My younger bro donated multiple times unbeknownst to me. Years later my wife and I did Ancestry.com to get an idea of how diverse our backgrounds were and wham! Started getting contacted by lots of people (over a dozen) saying we were close relatives. At first I was confused and asked the early ones about their parentage – they all had a similar stories. Single mom went to a sperm bank. Didn’t take long to guess what happened. Call my brothers and asked. Younger one fessed up and said yes – he went multiple times. In fact they told him he had to stop donating because there was a statistical probability his progeny could meet and date (at least they seemed ethical). I asked if it was okay if I gave them his contact – he was fine with it. The weird thing is that they all had his face – like one look at them and it was obvious who their father was. Anyway, this went on for a couple of years and they all connected with each other. Seems there is over 20 now, probably more. He has met a couple of them but it was all casual. The whole thing is super weird to the rest of family to have all these “close” relatives who somehow are part of the family but then again not really.”- ezagreb

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