Fierce

7 Reasons Why Women Never Want To Get Married As Described In Quotes

If you’re not married or don’t have kids, don’t fret because you’re not alone. It’s no secret that millennials are opting out of the typical societal norms like the whole wife/husband and kids thing. The reasons for this cultural shift in our country has a lot to do with finances. It simply costs too much to have a wedding and to have children. People are in knee-deep with debt, and the main thing they want to do is get a job and lead some kind of fruitful life — marriage is just not conducive to all of that.

Another thing to consider is that some just don’t want to get married. They see what marriage can do to a relationship, they know what it’s like to come from a broken home, so why go through that whole charade? The problem with remaining single, especially for Latinas is because we have added pressure! It’s so hard for Latinas to stay single because they’re pressured into marriage by their families.

However, in this day-in-age, people have to face reality: marriage isn’t for everyone.

To some, marriage is just another word for prison.

Credit: Pinterest

Before marriage, a person could be described as truly free. You can come and go as you please. Travel wherever you want, leave your clothes on the floor, spend your own money on just you. After marriage, it is quite a different story. You can’t do sh*t without telling the other person. They need to know where you are 24/7. You are basically chained to that other person. What kind of life is that?

People are lying when they say they’re happy in their marriage.

Credit: Pinterest

The only reason people ask you “so, when are you going to get married?” it’s only because they want you to be in this miserable club alongside them. It’s no fun to bitch and complain to friends who are happy in their single life. They want you to be sad too.

Your family shouldn’t dictate what you do with your life.

Credit: Pinterest

Your family is at least partly to blame for the problems in your life. If they’re pressuring you to get married and to have kids just so it doesn’t reflect poorly on them, you can tell them they’re going to have to wait a very long time. Maybe forever.

Just because you marry someone, doesn’t mean a person is going to change for the better.

Credit: Pinterest

One of the worst reasons to marry someone is if you think they will magically become someone different overnight. If he/she is messy before, they will be dirty after. If he/she was a cheater before, they will cheat later. If he/she eats like crap and doesn’t exercise, they will remain slobs afterward too. Yes, people can change for the better, but people do continue to be who they are regardless if they’re married or not.

If you’re already in love with someone, why change what isn’t broken?

Credit: Pinterest

There are so many happy couples that have been together for ages and never got married. Maybe it’s just a Hollywood thing, but there has to be something to that. People who remain together, and are faithful to each other, despite having those rings or marriage license are the ones that are genuinely in love.

Do you really want to spend your entire life with this person?

Credit: Pinterest

If your partner has issues, chances are, you do too. In fact, we all have so much baggage, and we carry that into every relationship. One question to ask yourself before you get married is: can I handle this person’s baggage, and can they handle mine? Real love is loving a person and accepting their flaws.

Let’s be real about why people genuinely get married.

Credit: Pinterest

Here’s something that rarely gets said: you were born alone and you will die alone. We are not trying to be dark and gloomy about life, but people should not get married for the reason that they don’t want to be alone. People must accept who they are, where they are in their life, and work on themselves, before getting married. If you’re getting married because you don’t want to grow old alone, then get a dog, make friends, be a good person. Don’t dangle someone in just because you’re scared of being alone. That is utterly depressing.

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Women On Reddit Shared What It Was Like To Catch Their Significant Others Cheating And The Stories Are Heartbreaking

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Women On Reddit Shared What It Was Like To Catch Their Significant Others Cheating And The Stories Are Heartbreaking

WMG

Anyone who has ever been in an unstable relationship knows that the situation related to such circumstances literally blows. But what about when such a relationship is affected by one of the worst kinds of betrayal?

Recently, a user on Reddit asked others what their experiences of dealing with a cheater were like, and the answers were pretty eyeopening.

Check them out below!

“I found a note from the nanny”

“My ex husband and his family smoked a lot of pot, still do. His sister, kids, and nanny were visiting from out of state for a few weeks. When it was time to fly home they left their stash at my ex MILs house because they didn’t want to take it on the plane. My ex asked if I would pick it up because I was nearby. Stupidly I agree. I don’t smoke and I was willing to carry it in my car for him. To my surprise I found a note from the nanny to my ex saying she was in love with him and she was so happy for the time they had together. Obviously she thought he would get the weed instead of me. While it was incredibly painful at the time I am definitely living my best life 15 years later.” – mycatsnameisjanet

“I tested positive for chlamydia.”

“Went for my yearly check up and tested positive for chlamydia. Turns out my ex was sleeping around… apparently false positives are common with these types of tests so have your SO tested as well. I hope you’re in a relationship where you can openly talk about such things.” – needsmoreusername

“I suspected an affair but didn’t have proof.”

“The husband of one of the women he was cheating on me with called me at work. At first I didn’t believe him and hung up. How could the man i spent the past 8 years with,had 2 beautiful babies with, suffered together the loss of one of those children do something so hurtful?? Still a part of me had doubt. He had affairs in other relationships and we had a rocky patch early in the beginning where I suspected an affair but didn’t have proof. I told my boss I felt sick and had to leave early and I called this guy back and found out that my ex and his wife along with one of their friends were all sleeping together for about a year. He had confronted my ex and told him that he was going to tell me but my ex convinced him to wait a month since my mother had just died. I took my time coming home and confronted him and told him to pack and leave. Since I’ve pieced together a lot of what happened and all the lies he told me where if I was in a different headspace I might have caught on to the affairs earlier. I also found videos hidden on one of our computers and found out he was having bootycalls in our apartment while I was at work and he was watching our daughter. At that point it put the headstone on any possibility of reconciliation.” – Shomzy

“He forced me out of the room… literally grabbed me by the neck.”

“I owned a house with my fiancé. I woke up in the middle of the night and he wasn’t in bed. I went searching. His truck and another vehicle were in the driveway. Then, I went upstairs and found the guest bedroom was locked. After barging my way in… I found him with another woman in bed. That bed happened to be my childhood bed. He forced me out of the room… literally grabbed me by the neck and pushed me out and closed the door back. I knew I couldn’t do anything at that point, so I called his parents who lived a few blocks away. His dad showed up and another fight broke out. I ended up leaving and staying at his parents until dawn. I moved out that weekend and let the house foreclose. 9 years later.. it’s finally off my credit report, I’m happily married to an amazing man and we own a beautiful home together.” – dddallasss

“I was 8 months pregnant.”

“I was 8 months pregnant with our second child at the time and he wanted to go visit his brother for the weekend. I asked my doctor if it was safe for me to travel and she said it would be fine. I told my husband I could go but he said he was really hoping to just have some time with his brother, I understood because a new baby really makes it hard to spend quality time but I asked if he could take our older son (3yo at the time) so he could see his grandma and cousins. He said they were planning on drinking and whatnot and wasn’t sure it would be a good idea. (They’re country boys so think shooting, drinking and whatnot) I agreed and he left for the weekend. After he left I get a call from his best friend telling me that he’ll be in town for the weekend and he wanted to meet up, not weird he called me because my husband was terrible at answering his phone. I told him unfortunately my husband was visiting back home, bad timing. His best friend then said ok, I’m going to call you back. And hung up very abruptly. Turns out my husband and his wife had been caught by him a few months previously and he gave them a chance to make it right…I don’t know why. He didn’t tell me but threatened to if they didn’t stop. Well, they didn’t stop and he told me. I think the worst part was that my husband’s family knew and never once thought to tell me. These people were my family for 5 years and nothing. It’s been almost 10 years now and I’m so much happier but it was definitely an eye opening experience.” – Endlessnite

“They were making out in the background of one photo.”

“Very unhealthy relationship. He was emotionally very abusive and I was in a terrible place with my mental health. I found out at the ultrasound to determine the gender of our child. He was late and I was noodling on Facebook waiting to be called. He was tagged in some photos in my news feed from a gig he’d been at on the previous weekend. Random lass was in all the photos of him and they were all over each other. Also they were making out in the background of one photo. He turned up after I was called in. While the technician was printing the images I told him I knew. He went off and on about how I was making it up, he’d never do that, obviously I was lying to compensate for cheating on him and so on. When I pointed out there were photos he stormed out and left me there. My Dad had turned up during the appointment (anticipating that he’d react badly if we were having a girl, which he did, that was scattered through the cheating denials) and took me home. I considered us broken up at that point and stopped all contact except texts related to the pregnancy. Mostly I was relieved. I had concrete evidence that it wasn’t in my head and I finally managed to escape that relationship.” – Axel_ProseI was literally the last to know.

“I was literally the last to know.”

“June 1, 2018. Normal day. A Friday. My husband had kissed me goodbye and gone to work. I was cleaning the house for company who was coming to stay the weekend. The doorbell rang. There was a man at my door who introduced himself as the husband of a woman who my husband worked with. He was there to tell me that my husband and his wife were having an affair. He had busted them about six months prior and had told his wife that she had to end the affair. He thinks that she did end it…for about three months, but then they started up again. When he found out they were at it again, he called my husband (because he knew if he confronted him in person, he’d be in a jail cell for what he’d have done). On the phone, he told my husband to leave his wife alone or else he would come and tell me everything that was happening. Apparently, my husband thought that he was bluffing. So I was literally the last to know. My husband never came home again. He got an air b’n’b and a lawyer. The divorce was December 21, 2018. We had been together for 24 years. Still hurts.” – headcase-and-a-half

“Me ex-husband was an early adopter of sending dick pics. I got his phone to get the numbers of his friends to invite them to a surprise birthday party while he was sleeping off a hangover, and there they were in his outbox. ETA- this was more than 12 years ago. When camera phones were barely functional.” – BooksNShizzz

“She had everything public, photos with him, bragging about the texts they exchanged.”

“Back then Facebook used to display on your profile stuff like “dontsayaword2 liked a photo” and everything you did. I noticed he liked a photo of a girl that seemed to be someone he had recently added. So I checked her profile and she was one of those girls who think “they won” because men cheat on their partners with them. She had everything public, photos with him, bragging about the texts they exchanged etc. So I engineered a way to befriend her roommate, I would then find out she was bringing other dudes home besides my boyfriend and when I confronted him I also let him know about who else she was sleeping with and for him to get an STD test.” – dontsayaword2

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Latinas Say Don’t Get Married Until You’ve Confirmed These Things

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Latinas Say Don’t Get Married Until You’ve Confirmed These Things

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When it comes to getting married, just about everyone has opinions and advice. Of course, while input on dos and don’ts of considering marriage can be overwhelming, they’re also so important to listen. Recently, we came across a Tweet by Twitter user @cxkenobxkery⁠ who posted a thread called “Don’t get married before…” We reposted the question and asked our FIERCE readers what advice they had for other Latinas who were considering marriage and the answers were pretty eye-opening.

So here goes, if you’re thinking about getting married consider pumping the breaks unless you’ve…

Worked out your parenting styles

Too strict? Too soft? Balance and teamwork is crucial. It comes down to what kid of little humans do you BOTH want to raise.” – ramfamfour

Discussed mental health stuff

“ANY mental health issues. My ex husband was not verbally or physically abusive, but his mental health issues were at the core of our marriages demise. I would also add to pay attention to how compatible you are when the ‘feeling’ of being in love isn’t tinting your glasses. He hated new foods and I loved to cook. He didn’t understand hyperbole, sarcasm, analogy, humor, etc. And those are all native to me. Otherwise, this is a great list.” – dinneronmylap

Learned how you plan to grow together

“I think asking how a person plans to continuously seek knowledge during their lifetime is important.” – lachullavida

Have underlined your boundaries

“Speak about the boundaries you plan on having with your families as you create one of your own. TRUST ME, you don’t want a spouse who doesn’t know or understand how important this is. Nobody wants their in laws overstepping. If their parents or yours are doing this now, it will only get worse once you are married and it will create so much drama. People have divorced over this.” – taialvarez

Talked about credit scores

“And CREDIT SCORE, family health history, twins?”- liani9

Seen them when they’re angry

“Other tips: See how this person reacts when angry, see how this person treats strangers, see how this person faces a difficult dilemma. This will tell you a lot about a person.” –mariar09_

Have self-appreciation on both sides

“Don’t get married before you truly know, love and have appreciation for yourself.”- moni.gram

Know their family

“You absolutely need to know about family, how they were raised and around who… she’s wrong on that one.”- your_phoenix_

Have the age experience

“Don’t even THINK about it until you’re in your 30s.” – arlee_la

Sorted out cleaning habits

“The cleanings habits.” – nancyesquivel

Know how their parents fight

“Parenting / disciplining! Questions about in laws expectations. Alone time vs quality time – are you someone who needs a lot of time away or close to your partner? How fairly do you fight? How did your parents fight growing up? How do you negotiate with one another?” – melmor

Lived on your own

“The best thing I did for myself: Live away from family. I had a whole year to live with roommates and I learned so mhch about myself. If at all possible, consider doing this!!!” – dj_enamoured

Asked how their prior relationship ended

“Always ask how the prior relationship ended, been almost marry for 5 years and I never asked and I found out that he got 7 women pregnant and all of them got an abortion, also ask about mental health issues with the family I never did and found out his mother was bipolar without treatment now I know why he is the way he is cause he is bipolar… I thought things would changed but nothing has changed and don’t marry a men that has a lot of guy friends cause his priority are his friends… Yes I know don’t need to tell me to get divorce I m already working on it.” – suequte_yoginyc

Figured out how to spend time alone and apart

“Date/Outing expectations – is one a home-body vs outdoorsy? This made for some very uncomfortable situations for both if us in a prior relationship. Would lead to full on arguments. But if both aren’t comfortable with group dates or don’t consider a quiet dinner at home as romantic then someone is going to become resentful.” – rosanam1978

Been genetically tested

“On having children, it best to get a gene-carrier (gene disease testing) before marriage. It makes me so angry when hearing that married couple… MARRRIED, do it after marriage. What if both of them are carriers? Then having a kid with their gene disease is on its way, if they have 1 biological.” – officialdarlin

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