entertainment

These Quotes From ‘One Day At A Time’ Are Too Relatable For Every Latino Watching

Netflix’s “One Day at a Time” reboot is truly a flawless work of art. There’s so much healing to be had watching a Cuban family on screen be unapologetically Cuban navigating the present day realities of anxiety, depression, post-war veteran issues, and raising feminist children with an old school abuelita in the house.

This show has historically guaranteed a consistent ratio of five good laughs to every good cry per season. The latest season brought that ratio up tenfold since Lydia had no health scares and nobody was rejected by their father for their sexuality. Pure jaja’s here on out.

When Lupe took advantage of Lydia’s inexperience with hotel nightstands.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Lupe: “Mami, look what I got you.”

Lydia: “A Bible? And you arranged for this?”

Lupe: “Yeah.”

So touching. 😆

When Lupe jokes about taking soda from the minibar.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

She’s not wrong. Lupe is no bobo. She brought sandbags to account for the weight sensors and will replace them later. Relatable.

When Lupe tries to teach Elena how to drive.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Elena: “You’re watching me parallel park and screaming, ‘WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE.'”

Lupe: “Yeah. That’s how you teach someone to drive.”

Real life script from all our driving lessons with Mami saying, “Hurry up and slow down.” Perdón, what?! 😅

When Alex used the word “Yeezy” in a sentence and Lydia responds like this:

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Alex was indefinitely grounded like every other good Cuban boy and wanted his abuela to go buy the “new Yeezys that drop tomorrow.” Lydia goes, “I just talked to Jesus and he didn’t say anything.”

And then when Lupe discovers her son spent $300 on a pair of shoes.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Lupe: “$300 for a pair of shoes? They better come with $280 stuffed in them.”

When Alex nailed how every family gathering feels.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

I mean, it was a funeral so maybe poor taste but so true. They’re all coming at you, arms outstretched, smearing their red lipstick on your face to mark you. 💋

When even Obama couldn’t convince Lupe that Alex could smoke pot.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Alex: “Besides, tons of successful people have smoked weed. Barack Obama. Steve Jobs. Oprah.”

Lupe: “Unemployed, dead and Gayle just said that to get ratings.”

When Lydia enabled toxic masculinity in her grandson.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Lydia: “Pobrecito, Papito, he was so said because he asked Chloe out and she said no. But what did I tell you? “You keep trying. Wear her down. Don’t take no for an answer.” And tiki toki now he has a girlfriend.”

Lupe: “Mami, you literally told Alex that no means yes?”

Lydia: “Oh, nooo, no. What I said was, ‘Every no is a yes in disguise.'” 🤭

When, on Valentine’s Day, Alex felt the need to point out that he’s not in a relationship with his abuelita.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Lydia: “It’s nice to have so many couples under one roof.”

Leslie: “Yeah. I’m your classic ninth wheel.”

Alex: “I just need to say it. Abuelita and I are not together.”

Abuela’s favoritism over the first-born grandson can be creepy, verdad.

When the competition for most overprotective parent ended like this.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Mateo: “I didn’t even let him go on a sleepover till he was 14.”

Lupe: “You let a baby sleep over at a stranger’s house? We didn’t even have furniture with corners on it until Alex was 12.”

And then they had their first kiss. Latinos.

When the only way you can fool around with your novio is when your mom is in the bathroom.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Elena: “Remember that time she had food poisoning?”

Syd: “That was so hot.”

The gig’s up, kids.

When Elena sees gay everywhere except the obvious.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Elena: “[Cousin Pilar] the only gay in the family.”

Flavio: “Do you have any chapstick? Pero if it’s not Fenty by Rihanna then I don’t even want to look at it.”

Elena: “Not now, Flavio!”

When Elena was the only one who would want to wear a “V.A.G.” dad hat.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Schneider originally made it for Elena’s dad, an acronym for Victor Alvarez Guapísimo. He was like, “yeah, I’m not going to wear that.” Go, Elena!

When Lydia pronounced “masterpiece” as “master-piss.”

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

It’s on her “bouqet” list. Not bucket list. It’s an “arrangement” of beautiful things she wants to do before she kicks the bucket.

When Lupe’s sex talk became the story of how she became Tunelope.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Lupe: “One day, you’re fine. Next day, you have sex. The day after that, the boy you lost your virginity to doesn’t call you back, and you’re filling the glove compartment of his Camaro with tuna so he knows he messed with the wrong girl. Then, you’re called “Tunelope” for the rest of high school. Worth it? Yes.”

Turns out, Elena didn’t have sex, but she became a woman after stealing hotel toiletries.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

It was a very touching moment that we can all relate to. That cookie tin of hotel toiletries overfloweth.

When Lydia’s conspiracy theory gets in the way of writing her recipes down.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Lupe: “Mami just write down the recipes, then we can have them forever.”

Lydia: “I cannot do that. My sister Mirtha will break in, she will steal the recipes, she will rappel out the window and tiky toky, she will be on The Food Network winning the Chopped.”

When the vieja inevitably threatens her death to get what she wants.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

We’ve all heard this in all its most insidious forms before: “One day, when I’m not here, I hope your children treat you the same you did me.” It’s savage.

And then when you come around and say, “I hope you never die,” they have to ruin the moment.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Ooh, Lydia. Why you gotta ruin such a touching moment?

When Lupe strategically put Alex in a red and white stripe shirt so she could spy on him later.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

Schneider: “Oh my god, you “Waldo-ed” him.”

Lupe: “Ayy, there’s my Waldito.”

When the MAGA bomb drops.

CREDIT: One Day At A Time / Netflix

We wish every real-life moment of a tía saying this kind of ish ended with the episode going dark. Praying Lupe teaches us how to deal with this in Season 4.

READ: The All-Time Best Quotes From Lydia On ODAAT That Are Too Relatable

Here's How Netflix's 'Siempre Bruja' Is Getting it Right And Wrong

Entertainment

Here’s How Netflix’s ‘Siempre Bruja’ Is Getting it Right And Wrong

Siempre Bruja / Netflix

In the world of brujería, Hollywood has been a major disappointment. For one, white girls are always witches, when we all know that every source of witchery boils down to our indigenous and Black roots. America’s initial obsession with witchcraft started with 17th century Puritan Americans and their absolute terror of the religious practices of colonizer’s African slaves.

Hollywood has capitalized on stolen culture en masse with its installments of witchy films and series, ranging from “Practical Magic” to “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” to “Charmed.” This genre is so inherently white, that when The CW’s reboot of “Charmed” was advertised as a trio of Latina witches, the Internet exploded with excitement. That was quickly followed by disappointment once we saw that, once again, the Latina characters were not all played by Latinas.

Prepare yourself for a similar journey with Netflix’s latest “Siempre Bruja,” which while it might be the best ever depiction of brujería, it is also another instance of Hollywood’s obsession with racial reconciliation fantasy.

The best part of the whole show is Angely Gaviria performance of Carmen.

Credit: @thegirlmob / Twitter

“Siempre Bruja” is a breakout role for Gaviria, who was born in Cartagena, Colombia. This Afro-Latina beauty is an actual beauty queen, holding the Señorita Afrodescendiente crown when she was just 16 years old. This show marks her third on-screen performance, and she slayed.

The show is based in Cartagena, Colombia.

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

Major props to the production. We get to see the beauty of the coast, strong colors, and cultura all throughout. At least we’re getting our brujería en español.

Pro tip: the English dubs are terrible, but the English subtitles are key for Spanish-challenged Latinos.

Like The CW, Netflix failed to promote the problematic plot of the entire show.

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

We started out seeing an Afro-Latina bruja being burned at the stake only to escape to the year 2019 in her hometown of Cartagena. Sounds compelling, right?

We get to see an Afro-Colombian play an Afro-Colombian and create more visibility.

Credit: @LHerstorian / Twitter

It seems outrageous that any production would get points for hiring an Afro-Latina but this is 2019 and seeing an Afro-Latina get a starring role is a huge deal. Hopefully, not for long, thanks to Angely.

Prepare yourself for this major flaw.

Carmen’s entire motivation is to save her lover, who happens to be her slave master.

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

We meet Cristobal as Carmen’s real-life white savior who purchases her as his own, after having pity for the way she was being treated. No points are given, sir.

Carmen narrates her journey via lovesick letters to her Cristobal, who is stuck in the past.

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

So, a powerful bruja who was enslaved in the past finds herself in the present, where she suddenly is treated like a human and she wants to go back to her slave master?

Written for white audiences, by white writers, or nah?

Credit: @theetemi / Twitter

Such a trope. So bad. Carmen is head over heels in love with Cristobal, who plays the ultimate white savior.

There were so many missed opportunities for black characters to be their own advocates.

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

Hilda is Carmen’s best friend, who ends up getting caught up in this strange power dynamic. After Carmen disappears, it’s Cristobal who is corroborating her magic, not her BFF.

Al fin, Carmen and Hilda are saved purchased again by the descendent of their previous owners.

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

This time, it’s the great-grandson of their old owners. He comes in the nick of time to trade spooky futuristic gadgets (compass, watch, etc.) in exchange for their bodies.

A white man teaches Carmen about her magic. 😩

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

People are growing tired. They always promise that they’ll do some things right in this show. To be fair, we do get some flashbacks of Carmen’s family teaching her about her magic before they were separated by the horrors of slavery. 

Oh, and then there’s a whole other love triangle with another white guy.

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

Why can’t these roles be given to more POC? Put black men in hero roles. Stop making white men saviors for black women.

All that said, let’s point out what “Siempre Bruja” did right.

Credit: @AyasatoHikari / Twitter

The base plot is truly terrible, but the actress herself is captivating. Plus, we get to see beachside Colombia in ways that we rarely see streaming on Netflix. It’s a binge-worthy show.

La Fiesta de la Candelaria scenes are breathtaking.

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

Instead of The CW’s “Charmed” sorority party scenes, we get to see Cartagena’s most celebrated holiday, an obvious nod to how slavery would ultimately impact ‘the future.’ African people celebrated their own religion under the pretense of Roman Catholic saints and holidays forced on them. La Fiesta de la Candelaria is a major celebration of African spirituality and black culture in the Caribbean.

Central to La Fiesta is The Black Madonna.

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

Unfortunately, we have to hear Carmen belittling herself and judging her powers based on how they affect Cristobal, but hey, representation, right? This is the problematic double-sided coin of the entire show in a nutshell.

There are some indigenous people cast in the show támbien.

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

He shows up during a university class and is introduced as a source of knowledge. I thought we’d see much more of him, and that he’d help Carmen in some way, pero, no.

Then there was the scene reminiscent of the magic realism of “Agua de Chocolate.”

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

Carmen is crying tears over Cristobal while she’s cooking, and suddenly, her patrons start grieving as well. It, of course, must be pointed out that future Carmen is still serving white people without pay in the same exact home, now run as a hostel. She’s working for a free place to stay.

The Santera in all of us got excited to see this ritual.

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

You’re not Latino if your tía didn’t wear all white for at least one decade in your life. This ritual, of course, was centered around Carmen trying to forget Cristobal so she could function.

Ok, so some white magic came through with the ouija board. 

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

We all know they’re meant to invoke dead spirits, and luckily, Carmen was surprised to learn of it existing in the future. That’s because white people made that up, but Carmen’s powers were able to create contact.

“When you see a light flash across the sky, it’s a soul leaving this plane.”

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

All of us heard our mamis say this at one point or another, and it was cool to see it happen in “Siempre Bruja.” Carmen helped release a spirit and watched his soul streak across the sky.

Bottom line: “Siempre Bruja” isn’t perfect, but perfect is the enemy of the good. We have representation you won’t see anywhere else on television and that needs to be celebrated.

Credit: Siempre Bruja / Netflix

Have you watched “Siempre Bruja”? What do you think about the show and it’s representation of Afro-Latinos in Afro-Latino roles?

READ: Aja’s ‘Brujería’ Is The Anthem For All Of The Brujas Who Are Just Living Their Best Life

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