Culture

SlimCados Are A Thing In Florida And They Are Being Promoted As Better Than California Avocados

In a world ravaged by the avocado mania that brought us $12 avocado toast and $6 avocado ice cream, non-Floridians are perplexed by the very existence of the “SlimCado.” This variety of avocado is actually much bigger than the typical Hass avocado, but is more watery and has 30 %percent less fat. As a recovering Floridian myself, it’s quite unsurprising to see what I’ve always known as the “Florida Avocado” become the “SlimCado.”

The USDA reports that, of the 1,000 varieties of avocados, 95 percent of the avocado market is represented by Hass avocados. Some say its popularity is a result of its thick skin which is more resistant to bruising while in shipping. Mexicans say it’s because of the Hass avocado es hecho en Mexico. 

The SlimCado has much thinner and shinier skin than the Hass.

Credit: @Buck_Tallman / Twitter

Growing up, we used to just slice the stone fruit up and eat it with our steak and arroz con frijoles. It was a refreshing taste of sweetness to add to an otherwise very savory and spicy cena.

Frankly, I never saw a Hass avocado until I moved out of Florida.

Credit: @skeptic74 / Twitter

That’s because we have an overabundance of Florida avocados. These avocados are born of a West Indian variety that does better in humid swamps like Florida, where they proliferate.

The Florida avocado has a new name – SlimCado – meant to attract misinformed weight watchers.

Credit: @DianaRuggOnTV / Twitter

The USDA reports that Florida avocados have 25 percent fewer calories per cup than the Hass variety. Florida avocados also have more vitamin C and E and less fiber than the Hass avocados. Ultimately, studies show that eating healthy fats like those from avocados actually help with weight management.

The Internet seems to have a singular opinion on the subject:

Credit: @NancyAFrench / Twitter

Many people worry that this is the product of a Franken-fruit experiment gone wrong. GMOs–it’s a thing. In fact, this lineage of avocados is completely natural. Think of Hass and Florida avocados as green and red apples. There’s a wide variety of red apples and a wide variety of green apples, but it’s easy to tell green and reds apart.

Meanwhile, Floridians are yawning at this “news.”

Credit: @rainforestgardn / Twitter

Okay, so this person is a hater, but you just can’t expect a Florida avocado to perform like a Hass avocado. Having sliced Hass avocado in your casamiento isn’t “refreshing.” It’s rico.

If you walk into eating a Florida avocado expecting it to be a “healthy avocado,” you’ll be like Jeremiah and say, “The Slimcado is a mushy cucumber. Avoid at all costs.”

Floridians are basically teaching the rest of America how to eat avocados outside the box.

Credit: @fernmayne / Twitter

I can vouch for that. They’re far too water to enjoy on toast or as guacamole. While mashed Hass avocados serve as a great replacement for butter, SlimCados are anything but buttery. Mexico made guacamole out of Hass avocados, and y’all better keep it that way.

It is a huge mistake to even try to compare Florida avocados as “healthy” avocados.

Credit: @NancyAFrench / Twitter

You’re setting yourself up for failure, Brooks Tropicals. There should be a warning label: do not use these avocados to make guacamole. Already, Twitter users like Charles Crevequer are publicly suggesting this name change: “Since they turn into a watery mess if used in guacamole, perhaps “slime-cado” would be more accurate?” 

Non-Floridians are just throwing mad shade at Florida right now.

Credit: @PettrucioOrtiz / Twitter

Rightfully so, Patrick. We might agree that the “SlimCado” brand should have never been born. We’re tired of seeing food marketed as low-calorie. Whatever happened to getting the best bang for your buck? Calories keep us going. Fat feeds our brains. These Florida avocados belong in a salad, alongside juicy Florida mangos.

Meanwhile, Californians are getting themselves confused with Mexicans.

Credit: @kenjbarnes1 / Twitter

Imagine breaking it to Ken that California didn’t invent guacamole or the Hass Avocado. Hecho en Mexico, baby. That said, these marketing tactics have Florida written all over them, and for that, I apologize on behalf of the Sunshine State.

Conclusion: Eat when thirsty, not when hungry.

Credit: @_clumsybeans / Twitter

From this Floridian to you, dear reader, our avocados are like actual fruit to us. We cut them up like we cut up our mangos and we eat them when we’re un poquito hungry but mostly thirsty and too lazy to drink water. Don’t expect the extravagance of avocado toast or guacamole from us. We’re just thirsty.

READ: This New Facility Cost $12 Million And It’s All Designed To Stop Rampant Avocado Theft

Florida Police Are Investigating How A Fully Loaded Assault Rifle Ended Up In A Baby Einstein’s Box Bought At A Goodwill

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Florida Police Are Investigating How A Fully Loaded Assault Rifle Ended Up In A Baby Einstein’s Box Bought At A Goodwill

Veronica Alvarez-Rodriguez / Facebook

A Florida military couple was shocked when they saw their friends open their baby shower gift, purchased at Goodwill, only to find a semi-automatic rifle neatly stored in the seemingly unopened Baby Einstein bouncer. Veronica Alvarez-Rodriguez said that she and her husband were on their way to a baby shower when they stopped at the Valparaiso Goodwill and found what they thought was the perfect gift. When the father-to-be, Jonathan Rosas, opened the box, he was delighted, and shouted: “You guys got me a gun!” Alvarez-Rodriguez told the Northwest Florida Daily News.

The Rosas’ baby shower for baby Johnathan ended with a visit from Crestview Police Officers, who initially said they could keep the gun.

At first, the parents-to-be thought the Alvarez-Rodriguez family was pranking them.

CREDIT: VERONICA ALVAREZ-RODRIGUEZ / FACEBOOK

Jonathan Rosas is a military man himself, so he initially thought their friends actually gifted him an assault rifle, but was making a joke by packaging it inside a Baby Einstein toy box. “The funniest part is they opened gifts in front of everyone and they thought we were pranking them🤣🤣Nope, lol that was not supposed to be in there but the dad to be got a better gift than a bouncer,” Alvarez-Rodriguez later commented on Facebook. Guests laughed away while the Alvarez-Rodriguez family was dumbfounded. The box looked like it had never been opened, and they thought they had just scored a brand new brand-name baby jumper for just $9.99 at Goodwill. As it turns out, there was nothing baby-friendly about the gift, though they did get a very good deal on a gun. 

“💰When you go to the Goodwill for a baby shower gift thinking you got a good deal on a bouncer ($10) not even opened and you end up opening a 🔫MOSSBERG 715T Semi-Auto Rifle 😱😱,” Veronica Alvarez-Rodriguez posted on Facebook. The Crestview Police were called to the house, where they searched for the serial number of the gun, and found that it was “clean.” “Serial number was clean & Crestview Police said do what you want with it🏆,” Alvarez-Rodriguez posted. “The gun now belongs to Baby Jonathan who is due to enter this world any day now 😂 #wegiftedhimhisfirstgun” 

The responding officer suspected no foul-play and thinks that someone’s wife just tricked her husband into donating the gun.

CREDIT: VERONICA ALVAREZ-RODRIGUEZ / FACEBOOK

The group immediately called the police once they realized that an assault rifle was hidden in a baby toy box and donated to Goodwill. The officers arrived at the baby shower and checked the couple’s identifications to make sure they weren’t convicted felons, and then began wondering out loud how on earth an assault rifle arrived inside a baby toy box. Alvarez-Rodriguez later commented on her Facebook post that the assigning officer guessed that “someone’s wife probably got mad at the husband and took his gun and dropped it off.” The officer initially allowed the family to keep the gun, but the next day, police asked Jonathan Rosas to turn over the gun while they run it through a database with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives. Crestview PD confirmed that the weapon was not stolen, but are holding the gun for 90 days while they come to understand the purchase history. That means that we may find out how the gun landed at a Goodwill. 

Crestview and Valparaiso Police Departments are working a theory that the rifle may have been donated at a collection point anywhere between Tallahassee and Pensacola before it arrived at the Valparaiso Goodwill. The rifle was fully loaded inside the box. Police are now saying they believe someone donated the baby-bouncer to Goodwill without knowing its contents, according to Military Times.

The Rosas are expected to receive the gun after the 90-day hold period.

CREDIT: AMBER ROSAS / FACEBOOK

In case you’re wondering, someone asked Alvarez-Rodriguez how she didn’t notice the weight difference between a baby bouncer and an assault rifle. “I mean metal poles on the bouncer & metal gun and some ammo ??” she answered, adding that the box says it should weight 25 pounds, but agrees that it’s “definitely a mysteriously crazy find.” Alvarez-Rodriguez’s Facebook friends didn’t believe that the rifle could fit inside the box, so she later posted a video of the rifle inside the box as further evidence to an unimaginably wild story to believe.

By the time the gun is returned to them, their baby will likely be two to three months old. Would you have an assault rifle in the same house as your baby?

READ: California Man Arrested With Drugs And Guns While Keeping A Person Hostage And Suspected Of Murder

A Florida Politician Verbally Assaulted A Group Of Latinos But They Recorded The Incident

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A Florida Politician Verbally Assaulted A Group Of Latinos But They Recorded The Incident

@TrendsKey / Twitter

Late last month, a teenage Puerto Rican tennis player was accosted by local politician Martin Hyde at a tennis club in Sarasota, Florida. The tennis player captured the incident on video, which was later posted to social media by Puerto Rican attorney Alvin Couto de Jesus, who had originally gotten the video from the athlete’s uncle, Javier Irizarry.

In the video, Hyde is seated, speaking tersely with the athlete and his peers, before following them as they begin to leave the premises.

According to Irizarry, his 15-year-old nephew was invited to play in the Casely International Tennis Championship, which was hosted last week by Bath & Racquet Club at the Celsius Tennis Academy in Sarasota, Florida. The athlete was practicing for the tournament when, allegedly, Hyde approached him and his friends in an aggressive manner, instructing them to “cut grass” and “get out.” The video’s audio begins with Hyde telling one of the players to “keep [your] mouth shut.” The tennis player and his peers rebuke Hyde’s confrontation, calling him out for making racist comments and demanding that they leave.

“You’re telling me to cut grass because I’m Hispanic,” says one of the players. “That’s racism, man. How can you say something like that?”

The players continue to draw attention to Hyde’s racist comments before turning to leave the scene. Hyde gets up from his seat and follows them, crying, “Out! Out!” all the while.

Before leaving the Tennis Academy, the teens report the incident to Academy staff. Meanwhile, Hyde interrupts and tries to invalidate their story, accusing them of being disruptive and intoxicated.

“I don’t know what drugs they’re on,” he says, insisting that he is a “member of the club” and that he wants the teenagers to leave. The athletes repeat his comment about “cutting grass,” and while some of Hyde’s speech is muffled, his response to the teen is clear as day: “Yes,” he says. “So what?” When a staff member engages in an attempt to solve the conflict, Hyde encourages her to “throw them out,” eventually telling the teens to “shut up” before abruptly walking away.

Latino Rebels reported the story and shared the video on Friday. It has since circulated widely on social media, and as a result, Sarasota’s Bath & Racquet Club has banned Hyde from its premises.

“We have kids from all over the world, Central America, Latin America, who play here and compete to get scholarships for college,” Cary Cohenour, the director of Celsius Tennis Academy, which leases courts to the club, told NBC News. “The whole incident was out of control and though Celsius wasn’t involved, we want people to know that we denounce racism here.”

An active candidate for the District 2 Sarasota City Commission, Hyde planned to quit the race after news of the incident spread. However, he’s since announced that he may continue running. And in spite of the video evidence, Hyde adamantly denies making racist comments to the Puerto Rican tennis players, though he does admit that he acted inappropriately.

“I was rude and I regret that. It was a long day and my kids were being disturbed while they were having their lesson, because the boys were being loud,” Hyde said. “But I simply didn’t say those things, and that’s why they’re not in the video.”

Hyde also denies allegations—made by Twitter user @sergiodilan101, who Latino Rebels have identified as Irizarry’s nephew—that Hyde offered him $50,000 in exchange for the video.

In this Twitter thread, @sergiodilan101 recounts the story in great detail, expressing that before this incident, he and his compañero had never felt so “upset, frustrated, uncomfortable, and sad.” He encourages all Latinos to stand together and support each other in situations like this, and he has received an abundant outpouring of support and affirmation, both from people online, political figures, and family.

“We had a long talk about reality and I explained to him that this guy represents a really small minority and that his behavior wasn’t normal,” Irizarry told NBC News. “I hope by sharing the video we can prevent something like this from happening again.”

Additionally,  Peter Vivaldi, a former Republican candidate for the Florida state Senate—who is also of Puerto Rican descent—responded to the video by saying that “if you’re a public figure . . . you run for everybody, you represent everybody.”

He added, “This is not what we want to represent any party and less do we want that in the state of Florida, where we’re talking about Puerto Ricans that are American citizens. We need to make sure if you’re Republican or Democrat, if you’re saying things that are not appropriate, we need to call you out.”