Culture

Here Are 20 Latino Legends From Our Childhood That Still Terrify Us As Adults Because That’s Latino Parenting

Around Halloween white friends love to share the scary stories there parents told them when they were growing up. Some of them are low key adorable little tales that don’t stand up to stories our parents told us. Low key, the monster stories our parents told us are very traumatizing. Yeah, we have a boogeyman, but he’ll actually kidnap you in a giant bag and take you back to his cave to drink your blood, as a medicinal cure for his suffering.

All the legends we hear have one common thread: listen to your mother, don’t leave the house at dark, don’t misbehave and eat your food or you’ll die. Hell, don’t even let an ankle dangle off your bed or la mano peluda will pull you under the bed and we’ll miss you so much, muñeco lindo. Our parents are savage but it made us the people that we are today.

La Lechuza

CREDIT: @paranormal_investigator__ / Instagram

The most important and relevant legend for modern times is La Lechuza. She’s an old witch that turns into a big ass bird who loves to attack las borrachas. Beware of owl sounds, because that could be La Lechuza luring you in to eat you. This is especially terrifying if you are in Texas where she loves to hunt.

La Luz Mala

CREDIT: @miligallob / Instagram

This is how your parents proved to you that every single horror story they tell you is true. See that light in the photo? Es la luz mala.

She shines a few feet above the ground and only comes out at night. If you look directly at the light, you die. Legit. You just die.

La Ciguapa

CREDIT: @fabisnchezm / Twitter

She’s naked. She has very long hair. Her feet are backwards. Que horror. But it gets worse. Boys, don’t look in her eyes or you’ll be cast under her spell, follow her into the woods and you’ll never be heard from again. It isn’t clear what happens to you once you go into the woods, but know that it is not good if you never come out of the woods.

El Cucuy

CREDIT: @Superduperfi / Twitter

He’s the Latino boogey man, but unlike the white version, El Cuco or El Cucuy will straight up eat you alive. Nobody knows what he looks like because he is always lurking in the dark and attacks when parents aren’t watching. However, your parents are also the ones who call him if you act up too much. Talk about a crappy relationship. Rest assured that the only place you’re safe is frozen stiff in your bed until the sun comes up.

La Mano Peluda

CREDIT: @xmakeupcol / Twitter

This one got me real good. In case all these stories of blood sucking rats and weeping murderous women don’t make you nervous to leave your bed, a single disembodied hand is lying in wait under your bed to snatch you. I was terrified as a kid to even let an ankle dangle off my bed. My whole room was terrifying. Now, I still get weirded out if my foot or hand hangs off the bed.

La Cegua

CREDIT: @samscavino / Instagram

You know this is literally an “old wives’ tale” because the story goes that if you, a drunk cheating man, let’s a beautiful woman on your horse, her head turns into a horse skull with red eyes and big yellow teeth. She might not kill you, but she’s got your wife’s back and will definitely attack you in the most brutal fashion. Let that be a warning to you men out there with wandering eyes.

La Carreta Chillona

CREDIT: @hallowqueeninc / Instagram

La Carreta was made by a Spanish priest who pretended to be a miracle doctor in San Salvador, El Salvador, but he was a coldblooded killer. After his death, he came back as a ghost. Now, if you see the cart — made out of the bones of his victims — you’ll wake up dead the next day. Moral of the story: stay put in that bed when the sun goes down.

Acalica

CREDIT: @haksumshop / Instagram

Acalicas are just tiny flying men that live in the caves of Bolivia. They also control the weather. As creepy as they look, they’re the butterflies of the old legends we’ve heard growing up.

La Llorona

CREDIT: @lifesamotherpodcast / Instagram

We all know that La Llorona is threat No. 1. The story goes that she drowned her children to get back at her cheating husband. Now, her ghost tries to kidnap kids at night, especially if they are sneaking out of the house, to have as her own and never be heard from again. She cries at night ove rthe death of her children hoping to rebuild her family with yours.

El Culébron

CREDIT: “culebron”. Digital Image. Remezcla. 1 October 2018.

Basically, Harry Potter’s basilisk was based off this casual childhood story we’d hear on the regular. The only difference is that this snake is super hairy with an extra big head and only comes out at night to eat anyone in its path.

El Chupacabra

CREDIT: @lifesamotherpodcast / Instagram

Leave it to a Boricua to make fake news a thing before social media was around. The story goes that one Puerto Rican woman saw a vampiric giant rat creature ya ya, es verdad. Don’t go too far from your parents or it’ll come to suck your blood. Like, it is technically meant o suck the blood of goats but when you are 5 and misbehaving and get threatened with this beast, things change…fast.

 El Poira

CREDIT: @alejiitacortez / Twitter

Colombians hold on tight to the tale of El Poira. He is a short man with long golden hair and large hands and feet. He lives in an underwater lair and seduces women with the promise of forbidden treasures.

El Cadejo

CREDIT: @bentobox_special_ / Instagram

I resent the bad rap that this leyendo gave stray dogs. El Cadejo is basically a Latino werewolf. He’s a massive black dog with red eyes that only comes out at midnight. Better be home before midnight or you’re on your own.

 El Sombrerón

CREDIT: @cgrafica / Instagram

El Sombrerón is the kind of creepy only Guatemala could give us. He likes to braid the manes of horses and young women he’s trying to serenade. The story goes that he was serenading a certain Susana, and no matter how hard her parents tried, they couldn’t keep him away.

Once they cut her long hair, he moved on. So watch out ladies, if you date someone your parents don’t like, they might chop off your hair.

El Duende

CREDIT: @EspakerLanguage / Twitter

Every country has a different version of El Duende that stems from colonial Spain, which actually had a law that said that anyone who moved into a home infested with duendes was allowed to abandon the home.

Duendes exist to kidnap you and eat you if you didn’t take out el pollo, clean your room, or come home on time.

Pishtaco

CREDIT: @LyraFay / Twitter

Nope, not a fish taco, sadly. Pishtacos are basically drawn from the real life white devil colonizer. They’re white men “invaders”, sometimes priests, doctors, tourists, etc., and they roam the Andes to kill peasants and drain them of their body fat.

Cuidado con el Pishtaco. We happen to like our body fat in el Latino gang.

El Silbón

CREDIT: @pao_mpl / Instagram

El Silbón was just your average boy who became spoiled and one day brutally murdered his father and cannabalized his organs. Now, he wanders whistling around the countryside looking for more little boys to eat. When you hear his whistle is far away, that means he’s actually really close.

Really, it made the sound of the wind a major trigger well into adulthood.

Yacumama

CREDIT: @possiblyhaunted / Twitter

The Yacumama stems from an Amazonian indigenous legendary sea anaconda with horns. Tribes would blow a horn before entering the water to scare off the beast. Eventually, the story evolved into the yacumama masking itself as an elderly woman that will approach kids collecting water at the river and dragging them down into the abyss.

Don’t go in the water, kids! Yacumama is down there!

Peuchen

CREDIT: @Talk_To_The_Hat / Twitter

You think it’s like the Yacumama, but it’s actually a flying vampiric snake hailing from southern Chile. Only Machi, the Mapuche medicine women can defeat the peuchen, so don’t even try, niño. Plus, if you stare into its eyes, you’ll become paralyzed while being drained of your blood.

Massacooramaan

CREDIT: @massacooramaan / Twitter

A lot of our monsters are hairy, because we’re hairy af. The Massacooramaan is a giant, hairy monster that lives in bodies of water, specifically in the Caribbean, and will go after people in small boats.

So don’t get any ideas and start thinking you’ll travel the seven seas. Stay home.


READ: These Terrifying ‘Cucuy’ Sketches Will Remind You How Your Parents Were Mad Geniuses

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Target’s New Children’s Line of Wheelchair Adaptive Halloween Costumes Has Us All Weeping

Things That Matter

Target’s New Children’s Line of Wheelchair Adaptive Halloween Costumes Has Us All Weeping

Target / Hyde And Eek Boutique

Target’s ‘Hyde and Eek! Boutique’ has garnered nationwide loyalty for offering both classic and trendy costumes alike to adults and their children (fur or otherwise). This year, Target has released a whole line of Adaptive Halloween costumes that include wheelchair covers, and a costume designed for sensory-sensitive children. While targeted towards children, the wheelchair covers can be used for a range of wheelchair sizes. 

They’re set to be released to the public on August 22.

The line offers a very cute “Boys’ Adaptive Pirate Halloween Costume.”

Credit: @WalkinNRollin / Twitter

We’d like to argue that any gender would look both very cool and adorable in it. Pirates come in all genders and  The costume itself is $25, and it’s significant to see a boy model the costume in a wheelchair. 

To get the complete look with the “wheelchair cover,” you’ll have to spend another $45.

“Boys’ Adaptive Pirate Ship Halloween Costume Wheelchair Cover – Hyde and Eek! Boutique.” Digital Image. Target. 18 July 2019.

Unlike the very few other wheelchair-adaptive Halloween costume offerings, these are mass-produced and accessible to far more people. You’d be hard-pressed to find any other Halloween wheelchair cover for sale, even on Etsy. That means parents are having to hand make a much more complex costume for their child or shell out $99 for one of Spirit Halloween’s wheelchair adaptive costumes.

Target’s second offering allows you to turn a child’s wheelchair into a Princess’s chariot. 

@WalkinNRollin / Twitter

Again, this one is labeled a “Girls’ Adaptive Princess Halloween Costume,” but we thank any kid would be a muñecx lindx in this fabulosity. Bravo, Target.

It’s slightly cheaper to be a Princess. Who knew?

“Girls’ Adaptive Princess Carriage Halloween Costume Wheelchair Cover – Hyde and Eek! Boutique” Digital Image. Target. 18 July 2019.

The wheelchair cover is also $45, but the costume is $20, about $5 cheaper than the pirate outfit.

Don’t go thinking it’d be easier to just recreate the costumes.

Credit: @samcarlisle / Twitter

We’re Latino. We’re always getting crafty trying to figure out ways to save some money. Parents of children who use wheelchairs have come through on social media sharing the horror stories of having to create a product that didn’t exist. This parent shared that she was up until well past 4 a.m. creating angel wings for her daughter. 😭

Meanwhile, this mom once accidentally made her daughter look like the aftermath of a crime of passion against a tiger.

Credit: @EmmaJBrum / Twitter

She was trying to dress her daughter up as Sophie from the children’s book, “The Tiger Who Came to Tea.” The story goes that Sophie was having tea with her mom when a tiger joined them and drank all the tea, ate all the food, and even drained the water from the taps. The next day, Sophie and her mother buy a ton of food, including “tiger food,” but the tiger never returns.

It’s not the first time Target has included differently-abled children in fun and games.

Credit: @NikkiFree / Twitter

Just this year, the company included a new line of Barbie dolls that had their own wheelchair and wheelchair ramp included in the doll. The line offers a blonde Barbie and a black Barbie, creating visibility for a group many times removed from the mainstream.

The third offering in its Adaptive line is for more sensory sensitive children.

“Kids Plush Adaptive Unicorn Halloween Costume – Hyde and Eek!
Boutique™” Digital Image. Target. 18 July 2019

This costume features flat seams and no tags that would otherwise seriously irritate kids with sensitivities, like autism. It also includes a hidden opening in the front pocket to offer abdominal access for kids with medical needs.  Plus, the hood, tail, and wings are removable for added comfort. Target is killing it at creating these thoughtful user-centered design for special needs kids and with flair.

Needless to say, the Internet, especially the disabled community, is weeping.

Credit: @TaelorLather / Twitter

You’re not the only one crying, Tae. While Target hasn’t even promoted the line yet, Internet reactions are abundant. 

So far, all Target has had to say is “Everyone deserves a good Halloween.”

@target / Twitter

And all we have to say is, bravo. Pa’lante.

Target also has a sensory-adaptive line of clothing for children that do not have tags or irritating seams. They just released a line of sensory-adaptive home products last year.

READ: 9 Things That Happen At Target When You’re Latino

SPOILER ALERTS: The Latest Episode Of HBO’s ‘Los Espookys’ Is Proof It Could Surpass GOT In Cult Status

Entertainment

SPOILER ALERTS: The Latest Episode Of HBO’s ‘Los Espookys’ Is Proof It Could Surpass GOT In Cult Status

HBO

On June 13 2019, HBO premiered “Los Espookys,” it’s Spanish-language horror comedy from the mind of Fred Armisen. Needless to say, we were immediate fans. Between the subtly hilarious script and its impeccable delivery, the series proved from episode one that it’s worth the watch. Don’t even get us started on how much we love the horror elements we’ve seen so far.

The second episode of “Los Espookys” is just as addictive and entertaining as the first. Titled “El Espanto de la Herencia,” the episode is so good, it demands a recap.

Here are some of the most spooky and most hysterical parts of “Los Espookys” episode two.

Last week, we met Renaldo, Úrsula, Tati and Andrés, four friends bonded by their love of horror.

HBO

The gang was encouraged by Renaldo’s uncle, Tio Tico, to pursue that passion and turn it into a career. Calling themselves Los Espookys, they were approached by a mysterious woman who wants to use their terrifying talents. With this in mind, it’s time to brainstorm how they’ll approach this next job.

However, before we can check in with Los Espookys, the series introduces us to the US Ambassador.

Horror DNA

Her name is US Ambassador Melanie Gibbons and she’s received an important letter. The letter — which is in Spanish, not coded as she first suspects — informs her that her friend Ignacio Ferracuti has died. However, he’s left his 18.9 billion peso fortune to whoever can survive a night in his haunted mansion.

To borrow Ambassador Gibbons words, “Okay, twist!” She’s been chosen as one of five strangers to compete for his fortune. It’s all very exciting for her.

Similarily, Los Espookys are excited for this upcoming challenge.

Horror DNA

We finally get to see to the official Los Espookys headquarters — which happens to be Renaldo’s garage. While Andrés pushes for avant-garde and challanging tricks, Renaldo wants to stick to the basics. Úrsula just wants confirmation that they’re going to be paid.

Meanwhile, back in LA, Tio Tico is in an unusual situation.

Horror DNA

Following last week’s encounter at a major celebrity party, Tico has been mistaken for an elusive artist. Due to this mix-up, he’s been roped into speaking at an art panel. The whole thing has snowballed and Tio Tico is just along for the ride.

Unfortunately, Andrés is finding it hard to balance his life as Prince of Chocolate and his spooky calling.

HBO

Being the heir to a chocolate fortune is hard. As his boyfriend reminds him, Andrés has duties he needs to commit to or else he will be removed as heir. However, the curious man is preoccupied with uncovering the mystery of his birth and his new side gig. What is a Chocolate Prince to do?

Finally, it’s the big night!

Horror DNA

Too bad Renaldo has been ditched by the other members of Los Espookys. Andrés, Úrsula y Tati have all shown up last minute, leaving Renaldo to set up. What’s worse, nobody hired the actors they need so Renaldo has to step in as the creepy butler. Let’s just say, the role is out of his range.

Still, the goal of the haunted house is to get rid of one contestant in particular. The Mysterious Woman announces to Los Espookys that Sr. Ferracuti’s son is a contestant and must not win. However, he seems impossible to shake with the frankly unimpressive scares.

Los Espookys are in a funk and they need some serious rallying.

HBO

Andrés is obsessed with the dead ends he keeps getting in his search for his origin. Úrsula is obsessed with getting paid. Tati is obsessed with Snap Chatting her shady internet boyfriend.

Renaldo is about to give up but some unexpectedly good advise from Tati inspires him. After a rallying call from Renaldo, Los Espookys are back. They’re going to pull off the scariest trick they can.

We don’t want to give away the ending, but the episode wraps up with the possibility of more jobs in their future.

HBO

Will Tati continue her internet relationship? Will Andrés learn the origins of his birth? What sort of adventure will Los Spookys get into next week? We’ll have to watch to find out.

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