Culture

21 Things Latinos From Catholic Families Know To Be True

Whether you currently practice Catholicism or not, you know the belief in Papá Dios is woven into your family’s traditions, habits and everyday locura. For example…

1.There was no arguing when abuela summoned you to mass.


As abuela puts it, “Si tienes tiempo para comer mierda con tus amigitos, tienes tiempo para misa!” Of course, you might already be at mass because abuelita forced you to “volunteer” as an altar server, usher or choir member.

2. Lose something? Have a test coming up? Feel bored? Light a vela.


And then chill. San Antonio’s gotchu.

3. Actually, candle-lighting in general is the vaporu of Catholicism…


When in doubt, light one for La Virgen de [insert your country’s virgin here].

4. Growing up, some movies were just off limits.

Credit: Hocus Pocus / Disney / whatshouldbetchescallme.tumblr.com / Giphy
Credit: Buena Vista Pictures

“Hocus Pocus”? Apparently it’s written by, directed by and starring: ~*~ El Diablo ~*~

5. And music genres like Reggaeton and Rap were off limits as well.


No Daddy Yankee at my house!

6. You had to learn prayers in both English and Spanish.

7. You earned extra points from your fam if your boo was Catholic, too.


Now you can focus on what he/she should really be judged on: appetite.

8. You knew better than to tell your fam “Happy Holidays.”


Forget political correctness; it’s “Feliz Navidad,” ? “Felices Pascuas,” ? or a sopapo. ? Your choice.

9. The “que comistes?” phone calls from home got a little bit more stressful on Fridays during Lent…


You tried. That totally counts.

10. Your first communion was kiiind of a big deal.

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Credit: Oceanup

Also, please take a moment and look at mini Selena Gomez’s Communion pic. Precious.

11. And if you had an older sister you totally used the same dress

 

Yes, the exact same dress… Your little cousin probably wore it too.

12. While other kids were excited for Christmas Day, you were all about Nochebuena.

Lechon-GIF
Credit: Memecrunch, via Remezcla

Especially if it meant having lechón.

13. Best thing of all was receiving presents til January. Thanks, Reyes Magos!


Fill up those Nikes, wise guy.

14. Praying el rosario is a group affair, especially for viejitas.


Sometimes these group prayers feel like a race too.

15. And the struggle of getting a rosario for your abuelita every time you travel is real.


Abuelitas really do love a nice Rosario. You better come right, or don’t come at all!

16. Thanksgiving Weekend What? More like Semana Santa.


That’s right! A whole week just for praying (yeah right!).

17. You know every single word of “El Padre Nuestro.”


“Padre nuestro que estás en el cielo, santificado sea tu nombre…”Because your mom would give you a dirty look if you didn’t know it by heart!

18. And even if you eventually found your own spiritual identity…


You know your family’s religious culture helped shape who you are.

19. You will never forget: Jesús está en todas partes.


Literally.

20. And the pictures of your first communion will forever be everywhere in your parents’ house.


MULTIPLE! EVERYWHERE!

21. And last but not least, you could never hear enough of the phrase: “Que Dios Te Bendiga.”


Amen.


READ: 13 Photos Any Catholic Latino Will Understand


What experiences did/do you have of being in a Catholic and Latino family? Mitú wants to know! Leave a comment below.

People On Twitter Are Sharing Their Hilarious Moments Of Catholic Guilt

Things That Matter

People On Twitter Are Sharing Their Hilarious Moments Of Catholic Guilt

Latina / Pinterest

Ah. Catholic guilt. It’s the thing that keeps you up at night after missing a phone call with your Abuela and submitting to your mom’s demands that you drag your feet to church with her on any given Sunday. No matter where you are in your life, whatever parts of your faith you’ve cast aside, it sticks with you like eucharist to your tongue.  After all, catholic guilt is like living with your own personal nun who speaks truths and anxieties into your ear for the rest of your life. She asks if it’s real worth it to risk eternal hellfire for that one white lie or speeding in a neighborhood. Here are all of the times, Catholic guilt really got you.

The first time you start to think that sex before marriage might be caca?

And your Catholic school teachings snap your right back in for a few more years. Of course, through ought these years you experiment with a lot of “self-care” which you also feel guilty about. TBH you probably also used your virginity and ceasing to stop flicking the ol’ bean as a bartering chip for waiting to have sex too. 

When it feels so wrong that it feels so good.

“We all know catholic guilt is why we are kinky mfs”. And you KNOW that all of those years of delayed gratification led to a world full of weird kinks and freaks that you might even feel a little guilty for being into now. 

When the weather feels great but global warming.

“I know a lot of people are confused by the commingling emotions of “this weather feels so good,” and “we will pay for this and the earth is for sure dying,” so for those uninitiated I would like to say welcome to Catholic guilt” – @ohJuliatweets. You know global warming is a problem and yet, you can’t help but thank the stars for how warm it’s been this winter season. 

It’s the thing that walks with you in life like that story of Jesus’s feet on the beach.

https://twitter.com/Danyul_manyul/status/1214660728751370249

“Not ever dealing with catholic guilt and shame.”

It haunts you years and years later.

“When I was 22, I pretended the Nsync/Britney Spears cd I was buying at McDonalds drive-thru was for my 4 year old niece in the backseat becuz I was embarrassed. I still feel bad about that. Just in case anyone wonders what Catholic guilt feels like & how long it lasts. FOREVER!!”

And don’t get it twisted, Catholic guilt will be there with you through thick and thin. 

Because it will come for you in the A.M. 

It pops back at you when it’s time to eat.

So you never overindulge without feeling extremely guilty for it. In fact, you probably feel way worse after years of being told about all of the starving kids in Africa.

A Woman Violently Pushed A Homophobic And Misogynistic A Priest Off Stage And The Audience Was Stunned

Entertainment

A Woman Violently Pushed A Homophobic And Misogynistic A Priest Off Stage And The Audience Was Stunned

Site Famosando / YouTube

In downtown São Paulo, July 14th’s Sunday service didn’t go quite as planned. The Canção Nova Community sponsored a youth conference and invited a celebrity priest to serve the final mass. Brazil’s most famous padre, Father Marcelo Rossi, was giving a homily in front of 50,000 worshippers when a woman suddenly pushed him off stage. The 32-year-old woman’s name has not been released, and she was immediately arrested. The priest is known for being vehemently homophobic and misogynist and had reportedly told the crowd that fat women don’t go to heaven before being pushed off the stage.

A woman pushed a homophobic and misogynistic priest off stage on live national television.

Apparently, the woman was able to sneak past security and get on stage in the middle of his homily. In a few seconds flat, she excitedly shoved the elderly priest off the stage. 

O Dia later reported that “She said that she wanted to come in to talk to him and that she was scared the moment she saw the security guards running after her. It’s her version, but anyone who sees the pictures sees that there is none of it [security guards running after her]. She says she got scared and pushed him at a time when she kind of freaked out, lost control, but she had no intention [of hurting him], she just wanted to talk to him.”

She could be seen smiling after the push, and immediately jumped off the stage.

Credit: Site Famosando / YouTube

Within a few minutes, the priest reportedly stood up and told the crowd, in Portuguese, that “the devil hates him” and “thanked Mary for deliverance.” There have been mixed reports about why she did it, along with mixed reactions.

The young audience watched in shock and then started to scream.

Credit: Site Famosando / YouTube

Minutes after the incident, the priest was back on stage to finish la misa. Almost immediately, President Jair Bolsonaro tweeted out his well wishes for Rossi, saying, “All our solidarity with Father Marcelo Rossi. God looks [over] Brazil.”

The woman told reporters Monday that what happened was “between [Rossi] and I.”

Credit: Site Famosando / YouTube

Her friends told police that she suffers from various mental disorders and that she was being chaperoned when she snuck away from the group. She told police that she has bipolar disorder. Rossi decided not to press charges given that he was protected by the Virgin Mary, and she was released that same night.

Brasileños everywhere were sharing their reactions–from horror to just pure laughter on social media. 

Credit: @rafaelqualquer / Twitter

Just so y’all know, Rossi is a Grammy-nominated “Latin singer,” and mega-producer of Christian music. He’s also a mega-homophobe. In 1998, he said, “A lot of ideas will change the day homosexuality is proven to be an illness.”

Given Rossi’s open, proud homophobia, some folks were applauding the woman’s actions.

Credit: @Sugar_Pockets / Twitter

Just five years ago, he shared misinformation to his millions of followers, saying, “Sex between man causes pain, if something causes pain, it can’t be a good thing.”

We don’t know who said it first, but The Internet estaba chismosando for days about this version of the story.

Credit: @Its_SuNnYzzZ_77 / Twitter

Unfortunately, the reason this rumor started spreading is rooted in body-shaming the mentally unwell woman, and mother of a 3-year-old. While feminist outlets clung to this story and ran, fortunately, Rossi has never said that.

Catholics started clapping back to the chismosas by pointing out the flaws in the story.

Credit: @KorusBarnes / Twitter

Every version of the story we found says the priest said, “las gordas no van al cielo,” which wouldn’t make any sense. Rossi wouldn’t be speaking Spanish on a national broadcast when the vast majority of Brasileños speak Portuguese. This just didn’t happen, basta.

Others who feel spiritually traumatized by the Church felt that Rossi deserved the push.

Credit: @May_2112 / Twitter

Of course, plenty of people from all sexualities, religious belief systems or none at all, came out as unable to condone assault of any kind. They argue that you can believe the Church needs to change to include equal opportunities for women, to stop hating on the LGBTQ+ community, and to stop supporting a culture of pedophilia, and also believe that assault is unacceptable. 

The Church released a statement saying, “The priest is well.”

Credit: @crinternacional / Twitter

“He was attended by the medical staff at the event and presided over the celebration to the end.” Rossi himself said that he felt minor pain, but “that’s normal.” He didn’t break any bones, and will likely continue making religious pop and homophobic statements for a long, long time.

READ: Catholics Are Upset With Pope Francis For Donating Money To Help Migrants In Mexico