comedy

Here Are The 11 Stages People Who Can’t Handle Weed Go Through When They Get High

Well it’s 4/20 and I know what that means: I’m going to have to explain to everyone I meet why I can’t partake. It’s not that I have a problem with weed. It’s that I never have a good time while high. I’ve tried, many times, and every time, I end up regretting it with every part of my soul. If you’re like me, you might be able to relate to the stages I’ve gone every time I’ve ever been high.

Usually a few friends are hanging out. One of them passes me a joint. It’s been a while, and I’m like…

The Kids Are Alright / Focus Features

What’s the worst that could happen? This isn’t “Reefer Madness,” right?

So I take a hit and…

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS / COLUMBIA PICTURES

?BOOM? It’s “Reefer Madness.”

Stage 1: I’m, like, instantly too high.

FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS / UNIVERSAL PICTURES

Yeah, not like “fun high” either. I’m knee-deep in bat country, if you know what I mean. And I can’t help but feel like my throat is on fire.

And immediately I regret my decision.

Family Feud

Whyyy did I do this to myself? AGAIN.

Stage 2: Everything feels different.

THE SIMPSONS / FOX

Something is terribly wrong.

My friends are having a great time as I start to melt down.

LIL DICKY – TOO HIGH / YOUTUBE

They’re having the time of their life, in fact.

So I remind myself: “You never get high, that’s why it feels so bad. Just act normal.”

YOUNGER /  TV LAND

Yeah, that’s it. I’ll just act normal. I look totally normal, right? You’re not that high. You got this.

Stage 3: I try to sober up by focusing on something.

CYRIAK / YOUTUBE

But I realize I’m way higher than I originally thought.

I don’t remember my hands doing that before.

UGLY BETTY / ABC

Yeah, it’s just weed, but I see and hear things that aren’t there when I’m high.

Stage 4: Someone tries to talk to me and it goes terribly.

THE DARK KNIGHT / WARNER BROS.

I am so not ready to make small talk.

My attempt at verbal communication leaves a lot to be desired.

MARK ANGEL COMEDY / YOUTUBE

The words I make with my mouth don’t match the voices in my head.

So I try blinking out some morse code.

Giphy.COM

My attempts at communication have failed and I’m not having fun.

Stage 5: I’m so done with being high.

MODERN FAMILY / ABC

Please go away stoned feeling.

But I can’t just get un-high. It’s only going to get worse before it gets better.

GOOD MYTHICAL MORNING / YOUTUBE

This is supposed to be fun?

Stage 6: Mid freakout, my friends realize I’m not okay.

TRUE DETECTIVE / HBO

Everything is too overwhelming.

They ask me if they can do something to make me feel better. I respond:

HAPPY GILMORE / UNIVERSAL PICTURES

SOS

They tell me to relax, close my eyes, or meditate. But that just makes things worse.

MAD MEN / AMC

Anxiety is at an all time high and I can’t even remember what I was thinking about two minutes ago.

Stage 7: Now I believe all conspiracies I’ve ever heard.

Warp Records / YouTube

This is supposed to be fun and all I can think about is how there’s probably going to be a

And I’m getting super paranoid and suspicious of everyone.

SHEEP FILMS

WHICH ? FRIEND ? IS ? READING ? MY ? THOUGHTS? And why is this cat my spirit animal?

Stage 8: The munchies?

IT’S ME OR THE DOG / ANIMAL PLANET

My friends offer me food, but I’m still too paranoid to eat it.

That sounds amazing, actually.

DISNEY.COM

Stage 9: Fetal position. For me, this is the best part of being high so far.

Parks And Recreation / NBC

Life hack: curling up can protect you from bears and bad highs.

Stage 10: Making it to the other side.

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION / CASTLE ROCK ENTERTAINMENT

I’m over the hump. I can feel my senses returning to me and the fear and anxiety are washed away and I feel like I’m finally crawling out of the pit of despair. It’s great!

Stage 11: Short-term memory loss. Usually a few friends are hanging out. One of them passes a joint to me. It’s been a while, and I’m like…

The Kids Are Alright / Focus Features

What’s the worst that can happen?

READ: Our Childhood Dreams Have Come True: Gina Rodriguez Is Playing Carmen Sandiego On Netflix

Share this because chances are you or someone in your group is as paranoid as me.

Mexico’s Progressive Bill Legalizing Cannabis Stalled Again Because Of Pandemic

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Mexico’s Progressive Bill Legalizing Cannabis Stalled Again Because Of Pandemic

Matteo Paganelli / Unsplash

There has been a global movement to legalize cannabis beyond medicinal usage. Advocates are pushing to recreational use as well as opening up government money to allow for research into marijuana and hemp. Some states in the U.S. have legalized recreational marijuana including California and Illinois. Mexico keeps getting closer and closer to eventually passing a bill to legalize marijuana.

Mexico missed another deadline to pass a bill legalizing marijuana.

Credit: Margo Amala / Unsplash

Mexican officials were making progress on a new bill that would legalize cannabis across the country regardless of THC levels. This means both marijuana and hemp would be legal in the Latin American country bordering the U.S. The move would mean that the U.S. would be the lone country in the North American bloc without federal legalization of marijuana.

Uruguay was the first country in the world to legalize marijuana.

Credit: Next Green Wave / Unsplash

Uruguay legalized marijuana in 2017 becoming pioneers in the legal and social experiments surrounding cannabis legalization. Most notably, businesses had to figure out how to make money from the sale of cannabis while adhering to international banking regulations that make it illegal to handle money made from selling drugs. Several pharmacies in the country that were selling marijuana were told to stop selling the product or close their accounts.

President Andrés Manuel López Obrador’s political party is behind the bill fighting for legalization.

Credit: Kimzy Nanney / Unsplash

In 2018, the National Regeneration Movement (MORENA) wrote legislation to legalize marijuana. The motion, submitted by Senator Olga Sánchez Cordero, calls out the prohibition of marijuana and how it leads to the violence Mexico has experienced.

“Today, the nation has taken the decision to change,” Sen. Sánchez Cordero told her colleagues the day the motion was filed. “We don’t want more deaths. It will be a major contribution to bringing peace to our beloved country.”

AMLO has since come out against the legalization of marijuana.

Credit: Wesley Gibbs / Unsplash

“We are analyzing everything that will help ensure that there is no violence, that consumption does not increase, and that at the same time medical attention is guaranteed to those who require it,” AMLO said during a presidential conference.

COVID-19 has put a stop to the bill for now but it isn’t done yet.

Credit: Add Weed / Unsplash

The March legislation session was canceled because of the pandemic meaning that they will miss the April 30 deadline to pass the bill. The next legislative session is from Sept. 1 to Dec. 15. Even if the bill is passed then, it could take years for Mexico to set up the appropriate systems to regulate and sell marijuana.

READ: A Man Spent A Month In Jail After Feds Thought He Was Carrying 3,000 pounds of ‘Marijuana,’ Lab Results Showed It Was Hemp

An Arizona Medical Marijuana Farm Turned The Sky Purple And People Were Left Wondering What Was Going On

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An Arizona Medical Marijuana Farm Turned The Sky Purple And People Were Left Wondering What Was Going On

Navajo County / Facebook

A Navajo County medical marijuana farm in Snowflake, Arizona filled the sky with a strange purple haze that illuminated the horizon. Local residents took photos of the electric violet fog that enveloped them on an early Friday morning last week. 

Copperstate Farms is the largest medical marijuana wholesaler in Arizona, according to CNN. The farm has 40 acres of greenhouses (totaling the size of 30 football fields). The greenhouses use red and blue lights at night to boost the plants’ growth. Anyone who paid attention during the color theory section of art class knows red and blue make purple, but the lights don’t look like this every day in Navajo County. 

So why was the sky filled with a purple haze?

❄ The snow wasn't the only gift the skies had in store for us this morning. ????This photo taken from Snowflake, AZ early…

Posted by Navajo County on Friday, January 10, 2020

“The purple lights are always there but don’t usually light up the sky like this,” Cara Smith, who took the viral photo at 6:30 AM on her way to work, told CNN. “It had snowed that morning and was still very foggy and cloudy.”

While the lights can sometimes look a little purple from afar, the weather conditions magnified the violet hue. According to KTLA, water droplets from a particularly low fog reflected the growth lights which made the purple color spread across the dark sky. 

“The snow wasn’t the only gift the skies had in store for us this morning. This photo taken from Snowflake, AZ early this morning showcased purple glow for miles! Huge shout out to resident Cara Smith for sharing her photo.
The purple glow is a result of LED grow lights from nearby medical marijuana farm Copperstate Farms and the snow clouds overhead,” the official Navajo County Facebook page wrote. 

Copperstate Farms has been growing crops for three years with 70 cannabis strains in production and another 40 in development. 

With more states legalizing marijuana, a purple haze could be coming to you.

While Arizona legalized medical use in 2010, it has struggled to legalize it for recreational use. In fact, in 2016 a ballot initiative to legalize it recreationally failed with 48.7 percent of the vote. Nevertheless, in just four short years the state has a new initiative on the ballot that is facing little opposition. 

“With over $1.6 million in funding, the political action committee formed to push the ballot initiative is the best-funded PAC in the state, according to campaign finance filings. What is surprising is the seeming lack of any opposition in a state that, just four years ago, narrowly struck down a similar bill,” according to the Phoenix New Times.

In 2016, Arizona may have suffered from a 6.4 million anti-cannabis movement but there is little resistance this time. There have been changing attitudes around marijuana use with 33 states making it medically legal and 11 making it recreationally legal. 

Here are the states we can expect expanded access to marijuana use from in 2020.

According to Newsweek, over a dozen states are posturing towards ballot initiatives for recreational cannabis use in 2020. States like these include Minnesota, New Mexico, Vermont, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, South Dakota, Arkansas, Florida, Missouri, Montana, Oklahoma, and North Dakota and Rhode Island. 

States in the beginning process are working to garner local and public support, while others, further along, are figuring out implementation processes. For example, Minnesota Democrats are trying to establish the best practices before drafting the bill. 

“It just is manifestly unfair to say ‘Okay, well, now that we think [marijuana] is good and we’re going to make money, let’s make it a corporate, whites-dominated industry,'” Minnesota state house majority leader Ryan Winkler told Newsweek. “We may not be able to stop that, but we’re going to try.”

Marijuana legalization has largely become a criminal justice issue with Black and Brown people incarcerated at much higher rates for usage despite racial groups using cannabis at the same rates. 

Illinois may be the model to follow, after passing a bill to legalize recreational use, the state plans to expunge criminal records for related low-level offenses. It has allocated $30 million in special low-interest loans so that communities, largely of color, affected the most by the so-called War on Drugs can lead the way as cannabis entrepreneurs.