zodiac

Which Mexican Chip Are You Based on Your Zodiac Sign?

Savory or spicy? A subtle crisp or an obnoxious attention-seeking crunch? There’s a chip for every personality, which is why we thought we’d go ahead and pick out which one of our favorite brands of Mexican chips can best be connected to each sign of the Zodiac.

Now, which carby delight best describe you in chip form? Apologies if we seem a little salty with these, it’s only because we’re comparing people to convenience store junk food. So, which one are you, my sweet little snacks?

Aries & Sabritones 

An Aries loves a kick as much as they have to be the most interesting person in the room. Since these Sabritones are unlike your usual crunchy chip situation with their puffed out egos – sorry, Aries 😉 – and their commanding fun but spicy flavor, you’ll fight whoever says these chips aren’t the bomb the same way you’d go after anyone who doesn’t respect your authority.

Taurus & Santitas

Loyal and reliable, Taurus. What’s more you than the chip that’s always $2 because it’s friggin’ printed on the bag? You’re consistent, no matter what grocery store we may find you in, and just like this family-sized bag, you’re always full of hard work.

Even if that hard work is eating the entire bag – something we’re not afraid of taking on single-handedly. Sharing? No thanks. Taureans are a one mate type of sign, anyway! This bag is mine!

Gemini & Doritos Tapatío 

Talkative Geminis are also known for their love of food. I guess it’s the only way they can keep their energy up for all that gabbing! More often, they’re known for their particular love of junk food, whether it be sweet or salty, which is why Doritos con Tapatío is very, very Gemini.

Two-sided, much like you! Is it a bag of Doritos or a bottle of Tapatío?! When you can’t make up your mind, porque no los dos?

Cancer & Tostito’s Scoops

Cancers are all-around good people. Hard-working, nice, and imaginative. The Tostito’s scoops of human beings. You’re consistent with your flavor and universal in your skills, even if those skills mean scooping up all that salsa.

Probably a Cancer came up with the idea to turn a tortilla chip into a scoop, anyway. Nice work! You’re also a true friend, and true friends bring the queso with that bag of chips. Mind picking some up on the way over? Thanks!

Leo & Adobadas Flavored Sabritas

Wow, a chip made to taste like a spicy pork dish. Pretty ostentatious. Right, Leo? Kind of just as attention-seeking as you are! The flavor of this chip packs a punch and is a fun new take on the otherwise bland and greasy flavors of Lays chips.

Yeah, these aren’t even tortilla chips! Sounds as flaky as you, lion! Umm, kiddiiiiiing. But not really.

Virgo & Mission Original Tortilla Strips 

You’re analytical in your choices to make sure you’re making the best possible one, so obviously you’d go with the chip that has…a mission. Ugh, sorry. Couldn’t help it. At the same time, you’re also shy with your choices, so you’d go with an easy, seemingly dependable option.

You’re all work, and these chips mean simple, tortilla chip business with no frills. Congrats, you’re as basic as the most common grocery store chip brand barbecuing dads love!

Libra & R.W. Garcia Veggie MixtBag

 

As a Libra, you’re diplomatic and fair-minded. “Why not include all vegetable flavors?!” you’d ask, weighing them all out on your little chip scales.

With that commitment to cooperation, you’re also indecisive, so a bag of mixed flavors is basically the best way to sum you up. I guess thank you for standing up for other vegetables being represented in chip form? You can eat these, we’ll pass.

Scorpio & Takis Fuego 

Just like Takis Fuegos, Scorpios aren’t for the faint of heart. These chips are for the passionate, the intelligent, the fearless. Don’t even think about offering a scorpion some lame Lay’s. Who the hell do you take them for?

No, a Scorpio is someone who ignites the snack flame of your heart and the burn in your butt soon to follow. But remember, you ain’t fancy. You think you’re hot shit, but in reality, we can still find you at any neighborhood 7-Eleven, scorp. Thanks for the wild ride!

Sagittarius & Chicharrones 

Like the beloved baked skin of a pig, you’re generous, well-traveled, and funny, Sag. I mean, who’s idea was it to eat the pigskin? And why does it taste good? Eating the pigskin is like being too lazy to wait to get to the rest of the pig so they were like, screw it! Just eat the first layer you hit!

Basically the same as your impatience, Sag. Good thing there’s no such as horse chips or you’d be in trouble. You’re also generous and love to share, just like the folks who eat chicharrones instead of regular chips. They’re a special breed.

Capricorn & Mission Original Tortilla Strips

You’re responsible and disciplined, Capricorn, and just like these bland-ass chips at every grocery store chain, you’re at least consistent in being there and probably being on sale. That being said, who do you think you in that fancy-ass bag pretending like you’re a better chip than you are?

You really think you’re the epitome of talent, erm, I mean chip, but just because you work hard to get your ass in every Walmart doesn’t mean you’re the best, honey. You do your job, though. We can’t deny that.

Aquarius & Yuca Chips

Hey, Aquarius! Um, yeah, you. You’re the undisputed weirdo of the zodiac – the one who’s a little off in all the best ways. You’re spontaneous, quirky, and authentically YOU at all times. So who says you’d be like any old run-of-the-mill tortilla chip? Please.

When everyone else tries to push the status quo, you’re already on another planet. That’s why yuca chips are you in a nutshell, err, I mean, a bag. A unique flavor, just like you. You may not be for everybody, but who wants to be liked by everyone? That’s just exhausting.

Pisces & Mission Organics Blue Corn 

Wow, it’s blue. As in the color of water. Because you’re a fish. Get it? Blue corn chips, just like you, are healthier and therefore wiser. Wow, you’re just SO much more in tune with the world, Pisces. You’re so artistic you deserve a chip as ingenious as you.

Don’t get all victimized when people don’t feel like eating your whole bag, though. Not everyone is as deep as you and your subtle taste of sea salt. Isn’t it ironic that this chip also looks like a teardrop? Enjoy the crunch, emotional Pisces.

all images via MexGrocer
 

Check Out Your Horoscope For The Week Of November 11th

zodiac

Check Out Your Horoscope For The Week Of November 11th

Aries

We know you’re all about motion and action, Aries, but with your ruling planet Mercury going retrograde on the 16th, you’ll want to get all of your ducks in a row in the days leading up to it. Remember that it’s a bad idea to start new projects or commitments during a retrograde, so getting your life sorted before then is the best way to come out of one smoothly. Ironically, this same Friday sees Venus plop right into your relationship sector, which will have you on cloud 9 in terms of love. If you’re single, its soulmate time. No, seriously. This could mean wedding bells. If you’re in a relationship, be ready for great collaboration with your partner where you’re both on the same page and exactly where you want to be – with each other.

Taurus

As Mercury turns retrograde on Friday the 16th, you’ll want to watch your spending habits, Taurus. As a bull, you certainly love the finer things but take this time to reconsider your relationship with your finances. Luckily, you’ve got more important things to focus on than money right now. Yeah, we’re talking romance. Your ruling planet Venus will turn direct in Libra the same day as Mercury retrograde, so who can even be bothered with the most-feared of astrological movements when you’re about to reignite the sparks with your current lover and build something even stronger together?

Gemini

Mercury may be turning retrograde on the 16th, but this day also sees Mars moving into your career sector. While your love life can get confusing this week, at least you have more important financial and professional matters to focus your energy on. If you’re single, you could meet someone you share an incredible connection with, but if you’re currently in a relationship, you and your partner might not be on the same page about stuff you used to be. Try to be a good listener and don’t jump to any conclusions just yet. Instead, do your best to focus on work this week, where you know you can shine.

Cancer

Mercury’s impending retrograde on the 16th allows you the time to refocus on yourself and tap into your inner spirituality. What are you doing that has been holding you back? As you reassess and find some alone time, you’ll come out of your shell knowing how to push through those challenges to get you where you need to be. Remember that tense family situation with a partner last week, Cancer? All problems should soon be rectified and you’ll feel the balance back in your partnership again. And if you’re single, rely on some family members who’ve been forcing you to meet someone they think you’ll like. This time, they actually got it right!

Leo

Mercury may be turning retrograde on the 16th, but you won’t even seem to notice it, Leo! That’s because, on the very same day, Venus turns direct in your house of career, making your ideas in the workplace heard and appreciated. You’ll start making much better progress at your job. Minding that retrograde, however, it’s best to use these next three weeks to save all that money you’ll hopefully find yourself earning. Save your acorns for the winter, essentially. Or, as a lion, I guess – save that fresh antelope kill? You get the idea. Your love life is about to pop off, as well, because of course it will. You easily attract attention and this week will be no less. In fact, you’ll be especially lucky in love.

Virgo

Mercury will turn retrograde on the 16th, meaning don’t make any big purchases or sign on to any new commitments. With Venus also turning direct in your sign on the same day, however, this’ll be easy. Your finances will go back up right where they need to be, so make sure to keep them there with financially-sound choices. What’s the only thing better than money? Well, I guess that’s debatable, but most people of sound mind would argue…sex! Expect to see your romantic life take a spicier turn in the bedroom – and you definitely won’t be complaining about it!

Libra

You’re back in your element this week, Libra, feeling the balance in those scales once again. On Friday, Mercury turns retrograde, but Mars also enters your 6th house of work and health. You’ll be killing it from the inside out now that you’ve finally gotten your groove back. Your shine is nothing short of illuminant this week! With that said, if you feel like that certain someone in an important relationship isn’t seeing the glow you and everyone else knows you have, this is the time reevaluate if that partnership is truly serving you anymore. Don’t let anyone dull this sparkle!

Scorpio

A New Moon on the 8th sees Jupiter move into your financial house, kicking things up for you and your finances. Be wise with that money when Mercury goes retrograde on the 16th and don’t make any unnecessary spending choices that burn away that new cash. Venus turns direct for you the same day and your love life will be on fire, Scorpio! If you’re partnered up, you and your love with have no problem keeping each other warm for the winter, and if you’re single, you’ll have a clearer head when it comes to deciding which potential partner is truly the best fit for you and that passionate sting.

Sagittarius

Mercury’s retrograde on the 16th will leave you feeling confused and like you have to overexplain yourself. The problem is is that it’s all in your head. Since Mercury is your planet of love, these misunderstandings in your relationship aren’t as bad as they seem. In fact, they’re more or less just in your head as your sign goes through a bit of a foggy time. Don’t overthink the small stuff because your partner is there for you. The same goes for you and your career, as you may find yourself making dumb errors at work. They won’t be detrimental, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be feeling okay about your missteps. What’s more important is that you stay calm and cool in the wake of these so no one thinks you can’t handle the stress.

Capricorn

Your career planet Venus ends its retrograde the same day Mercury begins theirs, and it all goes down on the 16th. As you smooth out some old residual issues at work, take the time to relax your body and your mind to come out of Mercury’s retrograde stronger. On the same day, you might realize that someone you’ve been seeing just doesn’t fit into your life the way you thought they would. It’s time to make a choice, but know that you’re better off for it, Cap.

Aquarius

Venus turns direct on the 16th, which happens to be your planet of home and family life. Take this time to work on home improvement projects and anything that will make your home more, well…homier! However, the same day will see Mercury, your planet of true love, retrograde for the next three weeks. There will be miscommunication between you and your closest friends. Perhaps you gave bad advice, have been ditching them for a new love interest, or don’t feel ready to introduce a new special someone to your circle just yet. First impressions won’t go well this week, so hold off until December to clear the air with those friends. For right now, at least, communication might just feel haywire.

Pisces

Mercury retrograde has a way of unfairly affecting Pisces the most, doesn’t it? Having this planet as your ruler of love, home, and family life means retrogrades affect the things most important to a Pisces in the most annoying way. However, this final one of the year will probably barely be noticed, my little fish. Since Jupiter moved into your house of career last week, you’ll see financial issues fade away and the encouragement to move forward. If you’re in a relationship, it’s all about sticking with your partner and not playing the blame game over past financial mistakes. It’s all getting sorted now. Single fish might find themselves flirting with a certain hottie at the office. Well, we told you your career would get better. Haha!


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